Yeah, yeah—like you don’t make resolutions every year. Resolutions are just mankind’s sadistic little way of disappointing itself. We’ve yet to meet anyone who’s kept theirs for more than a week—but we are willing to try and break that record this year. Joining the fray of the ridiculously optimistic, we’ve come up with our very own list of Page 3 resolutions because we’re sure there’re some things that we could do better in 2007, believe it or not.For a start, we could be nicer.

Two weeks into 2007 and everyone’s finally sobering up from that post-holiday lull.

They sure do grow up fast these days—children, that is. One day they’re in diapers and the next thing you know they’re calling in bomb threats on their Hello Kitty mobile phones so they can go shopping. Isn’t that wonderful! How did they get to be such smart little consumers? They’re so lucky to have cable TV.When we were that age we didn’t have a million channels or YouTube, and we couldn’t even imagine a phone that wasn’t connected to the wall with wires.

In our continuing efforts to encourage understanding between people from different classes, genders, blood types and age groups, we introduce Pancake, our 15-year-old international school correspondent.Hey guys! Can I just say that this is like the coolest thing ever being able to write for BK?! Anyways, so it’s, like, the Year of the Pig. That doesn’t mean we should all go out and get fat or eat like pigs. Gross. Hell, no! It’s just a “symbol”—you know, like tanks are a symbol of democracy. Pigs are a symbol of cuteness—did you see Babe?—plus they’re smart and a lot like us.

Dear Loong Maew,Happee new year!!! It's me again. I'm Daeng, 8!!!  Remember befor I was onlee 7, but it was my birthday in Setember so now I am 8. We had a party at my house and we even had ice cream. Chocolate is my favorit. Sorry I did not rite u for a long time. Where are u now??? I miss u a lot. I think my Dad missus u a lot, 2. He stil talks abowt u sumtime. He says u mus be in London. He said it is cold there, like yor heart. My Dad is so funee! 555  Last week he said that u and your friens play with the stok market to make evrywon panik.

While we appreciate Christmas carols for the charm that they bring to the holidays, we in Singapore just cannot relate to some of them—like “The 12 Days of Christmas.” Honestly, who in the world gives someone a partridge in a pear tree for Christmas? And, like, does any department store in Singapore even carry these?Since we’re in a particularly festive mood this week, we decided to work our I-S magic on this famous Christmas carol and turn it into something that, as Singaporeans, we can understand.

This is it, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: the final news quiz of 2006. Pencils ready?Which of the following products will soon have warning labels:a. Snack food.b. Sports equipment.c. Credit cards.d. Condoms.Why was the Million Cows Project scrapped?a. Cows don’t vote.b. Steakhouses never really caught on in Bangkok like they have in other cities.c. Complaints about greenhouse gas emissions.d. More potential with Million Kangaroos Project.Who is Time magazine’s Person of the Year for 2006?a. “Coupman,” a new Thai superhero.b. Borat.c. Justin Timberlake.d.

So, Malaysia’s Genting International just won the bid to build the much-anticipated Integrated Resort (IR) on Sentosa Island, triumphing over international competitors like Kerzner International and Las Vegas’s Eighth Wonder. This is a step forward for Singapore and Malaysia, as both countries have wanted to collaborate and work together closely to rekindle strained ties.

1. To keep up your energy for a marathon session of gift buying, keep a flask of vodka on you and chase swigs of it with M150.2. Listening to repeated renditions of “White Christmas” is hazardous to your health—always shop with your iPod and dig those earbuds in deep.3. The girls at Robinson’s are not really elves—don’t hassle them about that bicycle Santa never gave you when you were 8.4. It is generally frowned upon to body check your way to the front of the Beard Papa’s line.5.

Well, it’s that time of year again. Everyone’s walking around in a good mood for no reason at all, humming to themselves, holding open doors for each other, helping the elderly across the street, giving money to perfect strangers and generally making Thailand a great place to live.That’s right: Constitution Day is upon us.As the date arrives in our fair city, people are taking to the streets; getting out there and shamelessly celebrating their constitutional rights. Of course, the irony has not been lost on some people that we don’t actually have a constitution.