Singaporeans love speed. Don’t believe us? Just ask the traffic police. That fascination with being fast and furious could, however, explain why ubër car racing tournament Formula 1 Grand Prix may very possibly be making its way to our shores as early as next year.Once again, the world will have its eyes on us and, as always, we need to show everyone what’s so unique about Uniquely Singapore.

By now you’ve probably heard the rumors of unusually heavy trading of sign-making and brochure-printing companies and of the letter “E” on the little known Alphabet Futures Exchange, but this is clearly propaganda disseminated by enemies of the interim government.

Long blonde hair, check. Singer-songwriter, check. Legendary status, check. Funky old lady, check. The album Blue—huh?It was bound to happen sooner or later. In a curious case of mistaken identity, a local newspaper made a little booboo recently when a journalist, who had conducted an interview with legendary jazz and folk singer Rickie Lee Jones, mistook her for the other folk singer Joni Mitchell instead.

Dear Khun Puu,Hi!!! I think u dont no me. I'm Daeng, 8. I used to rite Loong Taksin a lot but not enymore becaus he lives in London. That's in Urope.So u no who is pry ministur now? U!!! Thats so kool! Now u can help all yor friens like Loong Taksin did.Is it alrite if I call u "Granfather"? How abowt "Big Ass"? 555! Jus joke, na.=) I no yor nikname is "Big Add" not Big Ass! Do u no there song "Prom Li Kit"?Here I dru a pitcher of u.How is yor job? I confus. I thought u are a soldure but my Dad says yor govermen is a "sinking ship." Does that mean u are a sailer, 2?

Mere mortals couldn’t care less, but for the city’s many fashionistas, the annual Singapore Fashion Festival is heaven-sent. Dubbed as one of Asia’s major fashion festivals, the event constantly draws many tai-tais, fashion buyers and the well-heeled to witness shows from local and international designers and labels. What’s striking about this year’s line-up is local labels that collaborate with major sponsors to do their thing—such as Baylene with L’Oreal Paris and Francis Cheong with Lee Hwa.

The policy flip-flops we can accept. The moves that would make Thailand less democratic we can understand. The misguided priorities we can bear. But we’re not going to sit here and let the government make journalists cry without saying something.“You big bullies!”So there.When we turn on the TV, we want entertainment; we want talking heads who enunciate clearly and with conviction; we want happy, smiling faces and bright, white teeth.

After sitting through the Golden Globe and Academy Awards, we’re awfully tired of all these award acceptance speeches. They weren’t exactly what one would call inspiring to begin with, but they’ve become so cliché. And, with the Life! Theater Awards around the corner, we thought we’d come up with a thank-you speech template to spice up these glorified pats on the back a little.“Oh, my god! Oh, my god! I can’t believe... I mean, I never dreamed..! Who would’ve thought that my simple story about _________ (a. lesbians, b. poverty, c. poor lesbians) would affect so many people?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, our patented tests of your knowledge of current events keep March-ing on.What is the main difference between ASTV and PTV?a. Target audience.b. Target of their biased reporting.c. Quality of graphics.d. Spelling.Why was the head of a well-known tutorial school admitted to a mental hospital?a. He was seen wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying guns.b. He had a high level of ephedrine in his body.c. He planned to file for divorce from his wife.d.

The results of the Budget 2007 have been met with mixed reactions from many Singaporeans. Some are glad (the elderly and the lower income), some are lukewarm (the middle income) and some are just downright unhappy (whiners with nothing else better to bitch about).Now, we’re not suggesting that the government try the impossible and please everyone all the time–because if there’s one group of people that’s hard to please, it’s definitely Singaporeans.

Obsequious Underling (OU): There’s an invitation from England for you, your most attractiveness.TAFKPM (The Artist Formerly Known as PM): What’s that? Another one of Mohamed Al Fayed’s parties?OU: No, your most charmingness. It’s from the International Institute for Strategic Studies. They want you to give a speech.TAFKPM: Who? Inter… instant stubby-what?