Quit your bitching. It’s been barely two-and-a-half months since the tanks rolled into Bangkok. Give those poor, unappreciated grandfathers at the Council for National Security a break, will ya? They’re busting their asses—it’s not like they’re sitting smoking joints and playing PSP or something. In fact, they’re spending their time, effort and money (well, our money, actually) tackling the problems that are most important to us. As in any other democracy, our leaders are just following the will of the people. And how do they know what we want?

The rise of singles in Singapore has been a bit of a pain for the government, who would prefer to see more people married and starting families. But as pragmatic as ever, the government has decided to turn a social problem into an economic solution.

It all began 12 years ago, when Indonesia’s then-president Suharto “invited” his guests at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit to wear batik shirts. Since then it has been customary for the leaders from member and observer countries to don matching traditional attire for the group picture.At this year’s meeting in Hanoi, the 21 emerged for the photo shoot adorned in flowing silk ao dai in a rainbow of colors. Baby blue was by far the most popular hue, selected by conservative heavyweights like US President Bush, President Vladimir Putin of Russia and Chinese President Hu Jintao.

We’ve made the world’s longest popiah, we’ve folded the most origami cranes in just five minutes, and we’ve scuba dived the longest by staying underwater for 220 hours.

We’re a law-abiding, line-toeing lot up here in the luxurious BK Skysuites. But there’s one thing we hate more than jail, caning or even guilt and that’s confusion. And the worst example of confusion that we know of is when you, Gentle Reader, are confused about something that we’ve printed in the pages of BK.What we’re rightly concerned about is that the impending ban on alcohol advertising might spill over to our news and features sections.

With Singapore’s national broadsheet establishing its interactive portal to promote “citizen journalism”, we have seen an influx of readers’ photos and news tip offs. Readers come up with the most bizarre stuff, like a multitude of car crashes, people getting trapped in loos, sewer rats, people sleeping on trains—content that is quirky perhaps, but is it news? Do we really need to read about bad driving, poor hygiene and sheer ineptness?

Ready to test your knowledge of current events? Here is the BK Magazine News Quiz for November.Why did Thailand fall four places in this year’s Corruption Perceptions Index?a. Politicians’ lack of sincerity to tackle corruption.b. Negative publicity surrounding John Mark Karr case.c. Lobbying budget was diverted to Surakiart’s UN bid.d. We weren’t able to get our people on the judging committee.According to surveys conducted by the Mental Health Department and ABAC, which of the following are true:a. Men are happier than women.b. Poor people are happier than rich people.c.

Radio DJs are popping up on the airwaves faster than you can say The Flying Dutchman’s real name these days.

This week we shift our attention from tanks to toilets with the start of the World Toilet Expo & Forum.

The Singapore Land Authority (SLA) recently announced that some vacant state land will be up for tender, and zoned for “agri-tainment” (that is, a mix of agriculture, recreation and entertainment). According to SLA, agri-tainment can be defined as “nature education, outdoor and/or recreational sports, rustic guest accommodation, spa facilities, arts and handicraft, art studios...fruit orchards, vegetable and food crops, and toad and frog culture.”Good news, right?