On the sidelines of the recent Asia Europe Meeting in Finland, our Hilarious Caretaker reportedly joked to Junichiro Koizumi that he would like to form an “Enjoy Your Life Party,” and nominate the outgoing Japanese prime minister to be the group’s leader. Details are sketchy, but political and business analysts believe the party’s main platform will be to push for the enactment of laws granting complete amnesty to its members—specifically in the case of lawsuits related to human rights abuses, corruption and perjury.

Singapore’s Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew recently commented that the country doesn’t possess a culture of its own. We, however, respectfully disagree, and feel that we have a very telling way of life that’s completely idiosyncratic to our sunny little island. We also believe that, like any other guest, you, our esteemed, international banking visitors, would want to immerse yourself in our culture, so here we have a little quiz for you to see just how “Singaporean” you are.What do you do if you see someone littering in public?A) Confront them about it.

The Public Health Ministry proudly annouced last week that thanks to effective intervention, fewer people have committed suicide in the last year than in previous years. While we are sure the Ministry’s efforts were the main reason for the decline in suicides, we here at BK are fairly certain there were some other factors at work.

Being the inquisitive bunch that we are, we were doing a little reading up on the IMF. As most of you probably already know, NGOs lobbying inside the Suntec Convention Centre are required to abide by our Miscellaneous Offences Act, which essentially safeguards public behavior. What you might not be aware of, however, are some of its quirkier clauses. The list below contains a mix of guidelines taken verbatim from the Act, plus some that we have made up ourselves.

It’s time once again to test your knowledge of current events with our patented monthly News Quiz.

TO: Lee Kuan Yew Fan ClubFR: A hip and happening citizenRE: Application for membershipI hope you will consider this application for membership in your esteemed organization. I’ve been a big fan of Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew ever since his days as Prime Minister. But when I read his recent comments saying that Singapore needed to become more of a “buzz” city, I couldn’t help but write in and offer a couple of suggestions (reason enough for our first intro, no?). He must be a busy man, and I was surprised he took time to visit Clarke Quay recently.

Last week, the Education Ministry reported that 2/3 of all primary and secondary schools nationwide have failed to meet the minimum requirements in their educational standards assesment, a periodic test of the quality of education in our schools. The Bangkok Post quoted the director of the Ministry’s Office of Academic Accreditation as saying the schools’ “education quality is tantamount to being in a coma.

Dear Loong Maew,Hi!!! Do u no who I am? I'm Daeng, 7. This is my forth letter 2 u now. I hope u like my letters and they make u happee. Do u like my pitchers? Here I dru; another oneof u.I no u are getting reddee for anothur erekshun. That's so kool how u half erekshuns 2 help Thai peepel get monee. I half been waching u a lot on TV making promis to peepel in Chiang Mai and Isaan and Myannmar. U wurk so hard now!U smile a lot but I no it must be hard for u. There are so manee bad peepel who are not nice to u. They are seenyor figures and inflewenshal peepel, right?

This year’s National Day Parade (NDP), the last to be held at the National Stadium, should’ve been a grand ol’ affair. It should’ve had something astonishingly different to mark this milestone. It should’ve gone out with a huge bang. Instead, what we got was a drone of familiarity, with the concept and staging evoking a strange sense of déja vu. Vernon Sum Chun Wei, who wrote to the newspaper last week, echoed this, stating that the parade “featured all the same old march-past, flashcards, aerial display of planes and parachutists, and fireworks.

It could happen to you: your career, your life, decided with one mouseclick. Imagine it’s another crap day at work in your crap office. You’re either bored out of your mind or so angry you could explode (or both), and your only satisfaction comes from spending the entire morning writing a brilliantly nasty email in which you call your bastard boss all sorts of name (and spending the entire afternoon Photoshop-ing pictures of his head onto the bodies of farm animals).