Poor little Amy. There she is, determined to complete her degree while working part-time as an actress to pay her tuition. She’s still struggling to make a name for herself, so it’s important for her to get out as much as possible to network—shake hands, give out business cards, do the air-kiss thing.When she received the invitation, Amy knew she had to go to the Subhanahongsa Awards, even if she couldn’t afford enough material for a proper outfit; there was no fairy godmother in her life to show up with a horse-drawn carriage and a gown by Armani.

Oh, joy. The Chingay Parade is about to hit Orchard Road yet again for another round of oddly designed and eyebrow raising costumes, painfully horrid music, sweaty crowds, and, of course, blindingly gaudy floats—all in the spirit of bringing Singaporeans together! Now, forgive us our cynicism, but we fail to see just how all of that is supposed to inspire us to come together, instead of sending us running a mile.In all seriousness though, we think Chingay is a good idea; it’s just that the execution could use a little bit of work.

There must be more than a few red faces over at the Airports of Thailand. After months of denying that there were cracks, then remaining quiet while their bosses denied that there were cracks, then remaining quiet while their bosses described those cracks as “cosmetic,” authorities are now admitting that there are cracks in the runways at Suvarnabhumi.But there’s a reasonable explanation, of course.

In a “quizzical” mood this week? As a warm-up to the considerably more challenging Valentine’s Day multiple choice examination on page 10, here is this month’s news quiz.What conclusions can be drawn following the Asean Football Championship?a. Referees are only human.b. Soccer is a lot more popular in Thailand than most people realize.c. Supachai National Stadium is long overdue for an upgrade.d. Thai athletes are second to none when it comes to diving and head-butting.Why was former Malaysian prime minister Mahathir Mohamad nominated for a Nobel Prize?a.

And you thought the Merlion sporting sunglasses last year was jarring. Singapore Airlines (SIA) recently invited ad agencies to propose a revamp of the Singapore Girl, the company’s iconic stewardess.As the Singapore Girl has been around for 35 years, we knew that the very idea of altering this mainstay in any drastic way would draw flak from critics. We reckon SIA’s best bet is to make our Singapore Girl even more Singaporean!

Here’s the latest dispatch from Pancake, our 15-year-old international school correspondent. Hey guys! Have you all been paying attention to the news? I mean, like, not every day or whatever but just in general. Coz there is sooo much going on in this world that we should know about, not just celebrities and makeup and stuff.Anyways, so there’s this guy Surayud, who is our prime minister now. He’s actually pretty cute, and I bet he was a real hottie when he was younger, which I think helps a lot when you’re running the government and you want people to do stuff for you.

The crackdown on smokers puffing away in non-smoking areas has taken a more covert route recently. Plainclothes public health inspectors from the National Environment Agency (NEA) conducted sting operations at two coffee shops along Bukit Batok Ave 3, which have resulted in a number of busted smokers, all of whom found their wallets lighter by $200 each.It’s great that the NEA’s stepped up measures to curb this problem, but what we’ve got a qualm with is the resulting consequences of these offenders’ actions. We mean, really—a fine? Come on, NEA!

International relations are a lot like interpersonal relationships (and not just because there is a lot of overlap in their spelling). In both love and politics, the two (or more) parties know what the right thing to do is and usually do the right thing guided by generally understood rules— “The Girl Code,” “The Guy Code,” UN resolutions—as opposed to strictly defined laws.In fact, political guidelines are nearly the same as the equivalent human codes of conduct. This is why we’re so mad at Singapore. Some things you just don’t do, man!

After seeing posters all over the place promoting the G.E.M.S. (Go the Extra Mile for Service) campaign, it occurred to us that Singaporeans seem to have perfected the art of using acronyms to make generally mundane campaigns much more attractive than they have any right to be. G.E.M.S.! Doesn’t that just scream out at you; just grab your attention and dazzle you with its wit and style?OK, maybe that’s exaggerating it a little.

Think you’re so smart, piggie? Prove it by taking this month’s news quiz.Why are clear plastic garbage cans being placed around Bangkok?a. They symbolize the transparency of the current government.b. They symbolize the crystal clear waters of the Chao Phraya.c. They symbolize the roof of Suvarnabhumi, but without leaks.d. They are part of a marketing campaign for a new credit card.The “ban” on media coverage of former PM Thaksin Shinawatra is:a. An order.b. A suggestion.c. Silly.d. All of the above.Why is the Foreign Business Act being changed?a.