Downward dog, chaturanga, triangle pose—the names of different yoga poses are difficult enough to remember, let alone the differences between different types of yoga. Most of us find a teacher and class schedule we like and stick to it, without really knowing much about the form of yoga we are signing up for. I-S looks beyond yoga’s mysterious Sanskrit names, and finds out what’s unique about each form of yoga.

What is Hatha Yoga?

Here in Singapore, the form of yoga that most people are familiar with is hatha. Hatha is one of the four ancient branches of yoga, the other three being jnana, raja and bhakti. Each of these four branches is seen as a means to enlightenment—the original purpose of the practice of yoga. In very basic terms, jnana yoga emphasizes the acquisition of knowledge, raja yoga involves meditation techniques to strengthen the mind, and bhakti yoga deals with prayer. Hatha in Sanskrit means “sun-moon,” representing the union of body and mind in yoga, and is practiced for both physical and mental health.

A common misconception about hatha yoga is that people think it is different from other styles that are popular here, such as ashtanga, vinyasa, iyengar and Bikram. Many yoga studios misleadingly give workshops and classes these names as if they are different schools of yoga. In fact, hatha is the overarching category of yoga, and these other various yoga styles are subsets of hatha.

What about Bikram and Hot Yoga?

The number of yoga styles offered these days has also increased with the introduction of Bikram yoga and hot yoga, both also forms of hatha. Bikram yoga originated in the 1970s and was developed by Bikram Choudhury from Calcatta. Diane Lee, director of and instructor from Bikram Yoga, elaborates, “He had a deteriorating knee condition and was looking for a solution as doctors were suggesting he amputate. A yoga practitioner himself, he came up with a series of 26 postures under his teacher, Vishnu Gosh’s guidance. It was after he practised this series that his leg healed.”

An interesting point about Bikram Yoga is it is practiced in a room heated to 40 degrees Celsius. Each session lasts 90 minutes and the heat encourages cardiovascular activity which opens up the body with each posture, allowing a person to be more flexible when stretching. Lee also points out, “Some postures can be challenging, and the extreme physical demands require concentration, especially in a heated room. The body is allowed to perspire and detox in that manner. A practitioner will burn from 450 to 600 calories per session.” Bikram Yoga (#02-14 Raffles City Shopping Centre, 252 North Bridge Rd., 6339-6639) is the only yoga studio in Singapore to be authorized by the Bikram Yoga College of India in the US.

Director and instructor Jeanne Chung from Yogaffinity (2/F, 157A Telok Ayer St., 6223-8254), a hot yoga studio, adds, “The heat in a hot yoga studio will definitely encourage detoxification. We heat our hot yoga studios here to 38 degrees Celsius, and the practice takes on a Zen quality as students are forced to focus on the poses and their states of mind, particularly when they execute balancing postures. The heat allows deeper stretching and counterbalances the airconditioning we’re so used to in this humidity.”

What are Iyengar and Viniyoga?

According to Don Peers, an instructor at COMO Shambhala Urban Escape (#06-05 Forum The Shopping Mall, 583 Orchard Rd., 6735-2163), “Iyengar yoga is concerned with the proper alignment of the body. Props such as bricks, ropes and elastic bands will be used if necessary to hold the body in the correct posture. Students who are working on their flexibility will be able to attain a suitable variation with the help of those props.” The physical postures, or asanas, have different effects on meridian lines in the body. Together with the breath, or prana, each pose will align a person’s energy in a specific way as well as control the flow of energy in the body.

Peers also sheds light on viniyoga, a yoga therapy which rebuilds a person strength and muscles after an injury. “Props are also used in this case, and you move from pose to pose slowly. The focus here is on structural alignment.”

And Ashtanga and Vinyasa Yoga?

A vigorous and physically demanding style of yoga is ashtanga. Comprising different series of postures in increasing difficulty, it is very aerobic with 64 fixed postures in the primary series alone. Peers elaborates on this traditional yoga style: “It is a dynamic form of yoga which encourages perspiration and raises your heart rate to between 80 and 100 beats per minute. In a synchrony of movement and breath, the body moves through a flow of poses which require the practitioner to concentrate by focusing on ‘gaze points’ or drishtis. Ashtanga is essentially an internal practice for a subtler mind.”

Instructors Paula and Shyam from Pure Yoga (Tower A, #18-00 Ngee Ann City, 319 Orchard Rd., 6733-8863) agree. “An outstanding characteristic of ashtanga is its traditional sequencing. The various series, ranging from primary and intermediate to advanced, are taught according to the skills of the students. Also, the ujjayi breath, created at the back of the throat to mimic the sounds of sea waves, is used throughout the practice, as it allows postures to be held longer and aids in concentration and peace of mind. It also builds up internal heat, allowing the body to perspire and detox.”

Pure vinyasa yoga, however, does not consist of fixed postures, but a random set of postures put together by the instructor. These sessions also focus on the “flow” of movement, sometimes with jumps as practitioners move in and out of postures.

If you have come across the term “ashtanga vinyasa” and are confused, let us set things straight. This term simply refers to ashtanga yoga. The term “vinyasa” highlights the dynamic nature of ashtanga yoga. Paula and Shyam point out, “‘Vinyasa’ means ‘flow,’ and practitioners are required to coordinate poses with the breath in ashtanga, as you have to inhale or exhale accordingly as you move to the postures.”

Now that you know what your favorite form of yoga is about, you can be more aware of what exactly it is you are meant to be achieving, whether it’s perfect body alignment, cardiovascular strength or detoxification. If you’ve been sticking to one school of yoga, perhaps it’s time to explore the benefits of other types of yoga.

While some like to do the American thing and split the bill, why not just go to these places where you can pay one price and then booze it up until you pass out? Repeat as MUCH as you like.

Akiyoshi

It’s neither bar nor a topnotch hotel hangout but just another Japanese restaurant in Mango City. However, with the irresistible deal of B199 daily, you are free to gorge yourself on as much draught Heineken, Singha and of course Asahi as you can from opening until closing (Mon-Fri 11am-2pm, 5:30-10pm. Sat-Sun and public holiday 11am-10pm). Lets enjoy wasabi and beer this weekend, then.
1521/1 Sukhumvit Rd., between Soi 67 and 69, 02-381-2267/-8.

Unicorn 70’s Bar

Sitting in a small sub soi off Khao San is Unicorn, which originally targeted the boy-on-boy market but not anymore. For B199, you can get free flow draught beer from 7-10pm daily while Mr. DJ and the bands entertain you with indie pop, rock and of course, coyote dancers.
164 Khao San Rd., 02-281-2366. Open daily 7pm-1am.

Zuk Bar

How about starting off the night with a little wine? Free flow, that is. Hmm… that could mean one heck of a sloppy evening, but hey, be that posh dude you know you are and head over to Zuk Bar. This elegant yet intimate setting allows you to gaze over a lotus ponds while you sip a choice of seven brands of reds and whites. Gather some friends together and chat like civilized beings. B1,000 from 5:30-8pm daily.
Sukhothai Hotel, 13/3 South Sathorn Rd., 02-344-8888. Open daily 6pm-1am.

Remorseful husbands call in standing orders for them at the corner florists. Recovering patients receive baskets of them at the hospital. In bridal bouquets, on birthdays and for Mother’s Day, people almost always choose to say what they feel with flowers. Where does all the floral bounty come from? In Thailand, a good bet would be the outermost fringes of the biggest wet market in Bangkok—Pak Klong Talaat, perched on the edge of the Chao Phraya River.

This bustling flower market along Chakraphet Road truly comes alive after most people go to sleep—the wee hours of 2am-4am, when boats and trucks from nearby provinces come laden with fruits, vegetables and flowers to hawk their wares to vendors who will re-sell them in the morning. Forming the northeastern edge of Chinatown, a trip to Chakraphet Road not only allows visitors to cut out the middleman by getting their flowers from the source, but also lends a good excuse for a hearty Chinese meal and a glimpse into Thailand How It Used To Be: full of smiling people eager to make you feel at home. Just make sure to come before 10am, when this market finally tucks itself into bed.

While most of the flower shops look similar and all charge similar prices,
a few do stand out. Chon Panyaditikun has run Nana Florist (98/1-2 Baan Mor Rd., 02-221-9210) for 14 years and says hers is the oldest remaining shop on the street. Her carnations, lilies and chrysanthemums hail from places as diverse as Kunming and Malaysia. Although the year has been a hard one due to an uncertain economy, she expects a big boon on August 12—Mother’s Day, when white lilies (B300 for three) and white daisies (B20 for one bunch) will be snapped up by hundreds of Thais. “It’s clean to the eye,” said Chon, explaining the Thai emphasis on the color white for Mother’s Day. “Anything white works.”

Roses and lilies may be well and good, but traditionalists will always favor the fragrant jasmine flower, tucked into bouquets lined with banana leaf. “Jasmine is a symbol of Mother’s Day and has been for a long time,” said Goong of Napasorn, the chicest flower store on the block (67 Chakraphet Rd., 02-222-6895, 02-221-2039). “When people buy for those who are older, they expect simple arrangements that denote respect. Valentine’s Day is when people really go all out.”

One problem: The price of jasmine bouquets, which usually hovers around B20, soars fivefold to B100 in the days running up to Mother’s Day. “You can get good profits on Mother’s Day,” cackles Thuk, a sidewalk flower vendor for the past 10 years. “It doesn’t matter if the economy is no good. People still have to buy flowers for their mothers.”

As a result, Napasorn’s Goong advises a small basket of jasmine buds, which will be cheaper and may last longer than a traditional bouquet. “It’s like potpourri and is easy to do,” he says.

Let’s face it: when you’re drinking all night, toilet quality is important, and it’s one of the things that can make a place stick in your mind. Okay, some of these places are not really “bars,” but you can definitely have a nice drink at any of them.

D’Sens

The avant-garde toilet beckons you to urinate onto a sloped glass wall, through which you can watch people jogging in Lumpini Park 22 floors below. But if you can see them, doesn’t that mean…?
22/F, Dusit Thani Hotel Bangkok, 946 Rama 4 Rd., 02-236-0450. Open Mon-Fri 11:30am-2:30pm, 6-10pm; Sat 6-10pm. www.dusit.com.

Calderazzo

Chat with your friends and see each other’s…faces…while relieving yourself. Everything is simple and clean in this restroom. A futuristic communal urinal is divided into three sections with a drain located in the center.
59 Lang Suan Rd., 02-252-8108/-9. Open daily 11am-2:30pm, 6-10pm.

Ishq

This ravishing Sino-Colonial style room is decorated in shades of Oriental green and red. Shining urinals line a glass terrace that faces a small garden; your privacy is protected behind blinds with strings of metal beads. It’s like having a pampered pee in your own private garden.
142 North Sathorn Rd., 02-634-5398/-9. Open daily 11am-11pm.

Route 66

This is a real woman thing. Despite the conspicuous plumbing, this retreat seems more like a bar-within-a-bar where toilets are just another type of seating. The posh powder room is extravagantly decorated with a glass-walled dressing room and cute male musicians performing on weekends. So the next time your girlfriend says, “The lines were so long!” be skeptical.
29/33-40 Royal City Avenue, Block B, Rama 9 Rd., 01-916-2898. Open daily 8pm-2am. www.route66club.com.

Calling All Metrosexuals

Women of Thailand, rejoice. Your men need no longer steal your moisturizer or nick your facial scrub thanks to the folks at Watsons. The beauty and health care purveyor takes aim at that rapidly growing segment of the population popularized by the Thai movie Metrosexual through its “Watsons Men’s Skincare” line. So go on, men, and enjoy your own brand of facial wash (B80), scrub (B100), lotion (B150) and masks (B150), as well as a soothing aftershave balm (B150) nourished by Vitamins C, E and coenzyme Q10. We won’t tell. Try Watsons, Siam Square Soi 1, 02-658-3969. 

Fitness for Gen M

The Fitness Center at Novotel Siam Square is specifically targeting Metrosexual guys who care about their health and bodies. Gen Ms will receive a 30 percent discount on three-month memberships (regularly B7,000) or annual off-peak memberships (B14,000). As far as we know there isn’t a sexual orientation test—apparently they’ll take your word for it. Novotel Siam Square, Siam Square Soi 6, 02-209-8888 ext. 2702/-5.

Healthy Mommy

This Mother’s Day give mom a gift that will last a full year: a membership at The Fitness Centre at Swissotel Le Concord. Facilities and classes include yoga, aerobics, swimming pool and sauna. Apply for a one-year membership (B13,000) and get two extra months plus a free one-night stay with breakfast for two. Through Aug 31. 204 Ratchadapisek Rd., 02-694-2214 ext. 1212/-4.

Made for asians

Feeling dehydrated? Gunky rich skin creams making you see spots? Estee Lauder has come up with a new moisturizer aimed specifically at the Asian woman, which provides the fuller hydration of a heavier cream, but without all the guck or shine that inevitably ensues after a few minutes in the tropical heat. Starting Aug 1, women will be vying for Estee’s Hydra Complete Multi-Level Moisture Gel for oily skin or Gel Crème for normal complexions (B2,200) to see what optimal hydration feels like. Try Estee Lauder Counter, G/F, The Emporium, Sukhumvit Rd., 02-269-1000.

Cut the Carbs

Myth: Taking carbohydrates out of your diet is a healthy way to lose weight.
Verdict: FALSE

Carbohydrates provide about 50-60 percent of the body’s energy calories, so a drastic reduction in carbohydrate intake means the thyroid slows down, decreasing metabolism and the body’s ability to break down fats and carbohydrates. Certified personal trainer Irving Henson notes this can be detrimental to attempts to lose weight.

In fact, some carbohydrates are good for you. Complex carbohydrates (such as whole grains, nuts, seeds, oats, brown pastas and brown rice) break down gradually, providing short bursts of energy throughout the day, meaning they take longer to add themselves to your beer gut. In comparison, simple carbohydrates (such as anything made from refined white flour, including white pastas and white rice) just add to your weight because they don’t need to be broken down.

Intake is also important. Both Henson and nutrition consultant Tan Wei Ling agree that the optimal carbohydrate intake is five to six servings per day, throughout the day. Each serving size should be no bigger than a clenched fist. This doesn’t mean you can use your meathead friend’s fist to justify a big bowl of mashed spud. “It’s different for different people because everyone has different sized fists,” says Henson.

And don’t forget: If you cut out carbs, you’ll have to put something else in, and fatty foods are often the unfortunate alternative.

Running Wins

Myth: Running burns more fat than walking.
Verdict: FALSE

The most productive form of fat-burning exercise is that which keeps your heart rate in the fat burning zone for the longest.

According to health experts this means it’s not necessarily the intensity of the exercise that’s important, but the amount of time we can keep our heart at the ideal fat-burning heart rate. So if you’re unfit, then running around the block twice for 10 minutes might knock the hell out of you, but a less intense 20-minute walk might maintain your heart rate for longer, bringing about better results. It all depends on the individual.

Stretching Out

Myth: Flexibility indicates fitness.
Verdict: TRUE

If you’ve had joint pain after a long flight, you know that moving your joints is important. Yoga Instructor Jeanne Chung argues that flexibility is an indication of health and fitness because it’s a demonstration of the health of those body parts that move your joints: your muscles, tendons, ligaments and connective tissues.

Exercising the joints gets the blood pumping, another important consideration. “Blood flow brings nutrients and oxygen, and carries off toxins,” Chung says.

Safe on the Street

Myth: All street food is healthy and low-fat.
Verdict: FALSE

When eating street food, be discriminating. “Go for less oily, less salty, less sweet and less flour-coated foods,” warns Tan. So, while not all of it is bad, that doesn’t mean you should grab the next plate of deep-fried chicken you see.

• When ordering noodles, ask for no oil.

• Fried noodles should be eaten less often. But if you really can’t help yourself, at least buy a smaller portion.

• Curries are another one to avoid, but if you’ve ordered some, then leave the gravy behind rather than polishing off the whole bowl.

• Eat less rice (especially processed white rice) and more vegetables and tofu.

• Cut out the skin—especially fried skin, like chicken or fish.

BM...What?

Myth: BMI indicates ideal weight and fitness.
Verdict: The jury’s still out.

BMI (Body Mass Index) is simply a formula that tells you if you are over- or under-weight according to your height. It is calculated by the following formula:

[Body weight (lbs) ÷ Height (in) ÷ Height (in)] x 703. Try it—say you’re five-foot-eight and 145 pounds: 145 divided by 68 is 2.13, divided by 68 again is .03. Multiply that by 703 and you’ve got your BMI: 21.09. (The healthy range for Asians is 18.5-23).

So if your BMI is higher than average, does that mean you’re unfit and fat? Our experts were unable to agree on this. Tan acknowledges that there is no ideal weight, but sees BMI as “a good measure of healthy weight range. It does not necessarily indicate fitness, but it indicates health and or disease risks.”

Henson disagrees. “I find it [BMI] highly inaccurate,” he says. “Take a 210 pound athlete with a fat percentage of eight percent and a height of 5’10”—a BMI of 30.1. According to this formula, he would be considered obese.” Henson suggests a different formula: The waist-to-hip ratio test. “Simple: The waist should be smaller than the hips. If it’s not, you are overweight.”

We live in a standardized, cookie-cutter world. The problem is that many of us don’t fit those standards, and we’ve outgrown the taste of those cookies. Sure, that ready-to-wear suit looked great on those models in GQ, but not on you. Or maybe you like this year’s fit but not this year’s fabrics. The solution for you may be to go custom. And custom tailoring isn’t just limited to clothes: Everything from beauty products to home furnishings can be made to your specifications. Imagine a life in which everything around you is made just the way you like it, a perfect fit for your body, style and mood from dusk ’til dawn. Can’t imagine it? Read on.

7am: Ready For Work

Shirt
The top-quality shirts at Meticulous (444 Siam Square Soi 7, 02-251-5701. Open daily noon-8pm. www.meticulousshirt.com) come in a variety of colors and prints. All are made from carefully selected Japanese fabrics. The boutique carries many styles and sizes, but if you can’t find one that fits you in the style you like, you can place an order—be prepared to wait a month, though. If you have more money to burn, check out the “Personally Pink” custom tailoring service at Thomas Pink (1/F, Gaysorn, 02-656-2112, www.thomaspink.co.uk), the British store’s first branch in Thailand. You’ll pay a premium on the standard issue shirts, which start at B6,900.

Jeans
The renowned Selfridges in London and Le Bon Marché in Paris provide a special service called Bodymetrics (www.bodymetrics), a futuristic technology that creates your perfect pair of jeans. You step into a “pod” where your body is scanned and measured in 200 places to create a computer image of your every curve. Just choose your style, and in about a week your custom-tailored jeans will be delivered to your doorstep. And Bodymetrics will keep the image of your body on file, so, as long as you stay the same size, you can just call up to reorder. Too bad they don’t have a pod in Bangkok, eh?

Shoes
Most people head to the ground floor of MBK Center for tailor-made shoes, but should you need something more elegant (and if you prefer a more sane shopping environment), visit the Regal counter at Siam Paragon (2/F, Siam Paragon, 02-610-9000) and try their “Easy Shoe” tailoring service. Choose from more than 10 styles, from traditional dress shoes to casual loafers, and pick your color and type of leather. Rates are based on the style you choose, plus 20% for the tailoring service.

Furniture
We won’t get into the hiso furniture thing because, for sure, if you have a lot of baht to spend, they’ll all bend over backward to serve you. But if you’re not Panthongtae, your options might be more along the lines of Index Living Mall (customer service: 02-898-6748, 02-898-6751), where you’ll find a design service available to all customers free of charge. Just hand in your room plan and a designer will quickly turn a blank room into a nice living space—using Index furniture, of course. If you need something cheaper, head to the Klong Toey area in front of the Port Authority of Thailand, where furniture “shops” will make anything you want out of pinewood. Give them a picture of what you want, and measurements if you need to be precise, and that’s it. Even large items like beds won’t run you more than B10,000. Try Chang Nong (06-008-2931) or Wichai Furniture (01-847-2689, 09-159-7056).

Fragrance
Creating a personalized scent that you’ll be happy with ever after is a challenge. If you can’t commit to a single scent, try the personal fragrances at Jo Malone (M/F, Siam Paragon, 02-610-9000). They offer a variety of unique scents that can be mixed and matched to create different fragrances for any mood.

Shampoo
Chances are you didn’t know that the Unilever Network has been offering custom-made haircare products for years, with hundreds, perhaps thousands, of satisfied customers. At Aviance Beauty Solutions (11/F, SCB Park Plaza East, Ratchadapisek Rd., 02-554-2655, www.unilevernetwork-th.com), experts will analyze your hair free of charge and create products that are right for you. Each 20-milliliter bottle of personalized shampoo or conditioner costs B415. The store manager tells us that once you’ve used personalized hair care products you’ll never be able to return to mass-produced shampoo. Is that a good thing?

8am: Rush Hour

Car
If you’re bored with the styles you see in the showroom and wish you could choose your own color scheme, materials and extras, you’re in luck: MINI (www.mini.co.th) offers its own custom-tailoring service. “My MINI” allows customers with a strong sense of individuality to choose not just their favorite color but their favorite wheels, lights, and a zillion other features. And since your car is unique, your price will be unique too; an off-the-shelf MINI starts at B1,900,000, so a customized one will be just “a bit” more. Check with a dealer—and your banker—before making your decision.

Don’t think you can fit in a MINI? Try BMW Individual (Millennium Auto, 2/F, Siam Paragon, 02-610-9900), a similar service. Your new BMW will be dressed with top-notch materials such as Merino leather, exclusive canvas roof or special Xirallic color. Choose your favorite model, whether it’s the Z4, 550i or 750Li—and expect to pay between B6,990,000 and B17,200,000, roughly twice the normal price.

1pm: Lunch Break

Food
Recharge with a sandwich from Au Bon Pain (B80; nationwide, Try 1/F, Siam Discover Center. 02-658-0160/-1)—custom made, of course. Create your sandwich from the lists of breads, fillings, veggies, cheeses and dressings.

Stamps
Photo postcards had their day in the sun, but now Thailand Post (marketing department: 111 Moo 3, Chaeng Wattana Rd., 02-831-3213, www.thailandpost.com) allows you to actually stamp your letters with your own face—or any other image you like. Ten official stamps go for B100.

5pm: Hit the Gym

T-Shirt
Threadless.com is a huge online community for those passionate about the T. But wait! It’s not just a chance to share your ideas, but to sell them as well. The website welcomes T-shirt designs from anywhere in the world, and selects six designs each week to manufacture. Creators of successful designs are paid US$2,000. Sound good? Try it—you may end up getting paid for your custom creation instead of the other way around!

Vitamin & Fitness Center
The vitamins available on supermarket shelves may not be the right ones for you, but luckily this too can be custom-made. Vitallife Wellness Center at Bumrungrad Hospital (210 Sukhumvit Soi 1, 02-667-2340, www.e-vitallife.com) designs food supplements made specifically for you based on the results of a blood test. Curious about rates? So are we. We couldn’t manage to get any specific numbers, but depending on the service they can range from the thousands to . . . well, much more.

8pm: Romantic Dinner

Suit
Every man should have a good suit, and July Tailor (30/6 Sala Daeng Rd., 02-235-9210, 02-233-0171. Open Mon-Sat 9am-7pm. www.julytailor.com) is one of the best places to get one. Tailors with decades of experience make great suits—for customers including HM the King—from Ermenegildo Zegna fabric imported from Italy. Praphab, a third-generation tailor, explains that a good suit starts with a careful 14-step measurement of the customer’s body. Then you have to come back twice (or thrice) so the suit can be fine-tuned. Prices start from B20,000 for a suit and B2,000 for a shirt.

Jewelry
Want to stand out? Get a one-of-a-kind necklace from Kit-Ti’s Jewelry (Kit-Ti’s Gallery, Baan Silom, Silom Soi 19, 01-821-1275. Open Mon-Sat noon-8pm. www.kittijewelry.com) handmade by the designer. If you like he’ll even turn one of your trinkets or collectables into a work of wearable art.

Gifts
Finding the perfect present for your loved one (or yourself) is a challenge, and finding something unique is even harder. Try a cute handmade teddy bear from Bear and Buddy (01-919-9350, www.bearandbuddy.com). Prices start at B500 for a 13-inch bear. Another option is pottery, which you can have made to your specifications at Pattra Pottery Shop (Chatuchak Weekend Market, Section 3 Soi 1, www.pattrapottery.com) for B30-850.

10pm: The Proposal

Wedding Items
We know that planning a wedding breeds madness, but if you entrust your special day to a stranger you may end up with something less than unique. At Viriya (330-332 Phaurat Rd., 02-221-1506, www.idealoungegroup.com), you can create your own invitations, favors and just about anything else for a wedding, and if you find yourself lacking inspiration, the in-house design team can create something for you. And they’re not deadly pricey, which is a good thing after the extravagant day you’ve just had.

Adhere

This Banglampoo live blues bar is good to drink alone at for the same reason Slim/Flix is, but on a much smaller scale. Though it may be a fraction of the size, this place can get somewhat crowded on the evenings. Regardless, the clientele and the staff are super friendly (maybe a little too friendly), so if you are in need of some buddies, head over here.
13 Samsen Rd., Phranakorn, 09-769-4613, [email protected]. Open daily 6pm-midnight.

Brown Sugar

Here’s another live music venue where it’s cool to fly solo for two reasons. First, they have a little “loner” spot where you can sit and sip and not feel like a total loser chilling at a table. Good place to try out those pick up lines you’ve been trying to memorize. Second, if you are really down and out, come on in and listen to their blues band wail. Let your soul weep. Open daily 5pm-1am.
231/20 Sarasin Rd., 02-250-1826.

Distill/Sirocco

Feeling a bit lonely? Sad? Inferior? Splash away those feelings of inadaquacy from the most commanding view of the city money can buy. Have a drink on the outdoor balcony and get that “lord of all you survey” kind of feeling. Open daily 6pm-1am.
63-64/F, The Dome, State Tower, 1055/111 Silom Rd., 02-624-9555.

Slim/Flix

Nothing makes you feel less lonely that jamming into a room with dozens and dozens of other people. This lively venue is packed on the weekends, and most weeknights, too. As long as you don’t mind university students, this place is a hoot. Open daily 7pm-2am.
Block B, Royal City Avenue, Rama 9 Rd., 02-203-0226/-8.

From the blown-out phone booth you’re huddled in pretending to make a phone call, the sign above the darkened shophouse across the street can just about be read. Yeah, this is the same place you came to about a year ago. A figure behind the plate glass window inside the shophouse can barely be made out, nervously pacing back and forth. Well, it’s now or never.

“Buut mai?” Are you open?

“Buut, khap.” Yep.

Stepping in, the metal grate clanks down behind you with finality, as if to say, “You’re here now, and you are not leaving anytime soon.” The silhouettes of chairs and tables leaning at queer angles confirm your suspicions that this place is not open for business during normal working hours. You make your way towards a dim light at the back of the shop, then follow a set of stairs to a second floor that looks something like a flophouse. A single lamp with a bare bulb harshly illuminates a room crowded with overturned furniture and clothing racks like an abandoned warehouse. Two girls in various states of undress lie uncomfortably on black pleather couches amid trashy celeb magazines and garbage. Some guy who looked like he was sleeping sits up suddenly and moves to the other side of the room. Oh shit, you think, has this place turned into a dodgy massage parlor since I was last here? A heavy woman who could easily be a mamasan sits at a disheveled-looking desk, looking you up and down while your mind races…

“Two hundred baht,” she says suddenly, and in a trance you hand over the money, assuming this is an entrance fee. She shoves a pale green ticket in your hand and points to a door leading upstairs.

Reaching the landing, you surprise the sleeping staff and the DJ robotically puts on 50 Cent’s “In da Club.” You sit at the bar and redeem your drink. Before long, a big, sleazy looking guy in a disheveled suit from some cheap Nana tailor comes into the room and puts his arms around the shoulders of two girls you hadn’t noticed standing at a nearby table. One girl is wearing cut-off jeans and a tank top from Bebe, while the other, inexplicably, has on a baby blue chamois gown from God knows where. The three appear to know each other, and the guy intones deeply, “Yo soy Americano,” in a ridiculous accent, and then, “So who’s driving the car tonight?” The girls laugh endearingly at him, and they exit. Over the next 45 minutes it’s a contest to see which is worse—the music or the clientele. The place is so depressing you’re on the verge of tears. When you stand to leave, the bartender wakes up and asks if you’d like another drink, but you just keep going out the door, pretending you didn’t hear him.

Hit the Streets

“Welcome, sir. Sit down, please.”

Street people litter the sidewalks, plying their trade like nightcrawlers: fruit vendors and flower boys, whisky slingers and sad song singers, working girls, werewolves, trannies, tourists, the deformed, defamed and dispossessed of every shape and variety. The sidewalk buzzes like a cheap electric toy hooked up to a nuclear reactor. Here, the wash of the Earth collects, the catchall filter before the dirty water flows back into the ocean.

You can’t help thinking that these are the people representing Thailand to the world. Some tourists come here and this is all they see. These people, these streets. The poor street urchins who have to deal with drunk and disorderly weirdos from all over the globe night after night after night…and they look it. Some of them have faces so young, but their eyes are so old, like they’ve seen every depravity known to man, every sin, every vice—because they have.

La La Land

You get to the second floor of some muti-level bar complex at about 3:15am and are immediately met by an overanxious lady boy dragging you into a club. The music is really loud and it’s going like this: “boom boom boom boom, I want you in my room…,” which is a bit nauseating, especially considering there is almost no one here. You sit and talk to a crew of three ladyboys and two gay dudes for a while. They tell you this bar is popular with Thai people who get out of work late but still want to party. This one dude, “Bank,” makes handbags and sells them at Chatuchak on the weekends, apparently, but when times are tight he comes down here for “freelance” work. In the corner are a couple of middle-aged losers in desperate need of gym memberships. They dance like spastics with their dates.

“Oh really?” you suddenly find yourself saying aloud, completely disinterested. You haven’t paid attention to a word these people have said for the last 15 minutes. Is that how much time has passed? You dig through your pockets for your phone and suddenly realize that Celine Dion is blasting on the stereo like it’s fucking AC/DC. “Once more, you open the door…” Uggh…now you think you might actually be sick…

“Listen…you… people,” you say, racking your brain for a single one of their names and failing, “I’ve got to be going now. But you take care and I’ll see you around real soon.” They look at you like you’ve got a set of antennae coming from the back of your head, but you couldn’t care less. Outside you merge into the wave of human traffic—one huge, seething mass of flesh on the go—and mentally debate the virtues of the 24-hour food options within walking distance—Soi Mogadishu? Villa Market? Subway? Hmmm…

Another Late Night

You’re sitting at a booth with Jun and Blake—who just passed out—along with some model and her boyfriend. The model is wearing a stunning little black dress by Miu Miu with an Yves Saint Laurent handbag, which is overkill for a Friday night but apparently they were out on a date or something.

A band that was playing Radiohead covers all night is cleaning up, but the guitarist continues to try to work out the lead riff of a Stone Roses track, which you are now dying to hear. You excuse yourself to use the bathroom before the taxi ride home, and when you come back to the booth, the model and her boyfriend are gone but a DJ has come on and the windows of the joint are closed over with heavy curtains, so that from the street it would appear that the place was closed. Sweet…

At the bar, you order a flask of Sang Som. Before you can pay for it, this drunk American girl opens it and starts pouring it into her glass, as if you just bought it for her. She downs what looks like a couple shots without flinching, then puts her arm around you like you are old friends. Finally, you say “Hello” just to be nice, and she just looks at you with an expression like, “I’m so hot,” which is laughable because she’s practically cross-eyed drunk and so not. Then as suddenly as she appeared, she stumbles away in a stupor. You notice that she dropped some money, so you pick it up and give it to her friend, who looks equally drunk but seems not nearly as clueless.

When you get back to the booth, Blake is lying on the ground and Jun is talking to some random guy you’ve never seen before. He’s wearing slim, black pinstriped Kenneth Cole trousers, black leather shoes from Jaspal and a weird asymmetrical shirt from Topshop. “So I just left the club with those two male models and we tried to pick up some girls,” he says, “but no one wanted to get naughty with us. We ended up driving around Khao San at about 6am. All we could find were a few trannies that wanted to give us blowjobs. It was a pretty boring night, really…” He lights a cigarette and launches into another story, during which time you are reminded of how much he looks like that guy Z-Man from Russ Meyer’s Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. 

Minutes or hours later (you’re not sure), you turn around and see two boys in brown at the door. The words “URINE TEST” flash through your mind in bold, florescent letters, and suddenly you are frantically trying to remember any illegal substances you’ve taken in the past six months. Do vitamins count? How about flu medication? Oh shoot, you remember you were taking antibiotics about a month ago—how long does that stuff stay in your system? Luckily, the police are just here to break up the party—no wee wee test this time. It is 4:30am.

House of Jealous Lovers

The hiso fashion show you just walked out of was typical—lots of beautiful people with personalities like wet cardboard. All you can think of is going home at this point, but a friend from out of town is here and it’s her last night in Bangkok.

“Come on,” she whines, “you can’t go to bed yet, it’s only 1:45! This is my last night here and you’re going to go home just because you have to work tomorrow?!” Ten minutes later you’re telling a taxi driver how to get to this place your friends once told you about that’s not too far away. At least you think it’s not too far away.

There’s a pack of queeny guys outside who discreetly lead you and your friend down an alley to a set of stairs that open into the back door of some bar. Apparently the place is a gay go-go joint by day, and it looks like some of the dancers are still hanging around, boogying in the crowd topless. This in turn prompts some of the more “excited” clientele to take off their shirts, too. After a couple drinks, you finally get it: Shirts off means you’re horny! If only scoring was always this easy…

Here’s a change: The music here is fantastic. The DJ is playing some house remix of a Fleetwood Mac tune that you never would have imagined could sound so groovy. You get a drink from the bartender, who is far more friendly and accommodating than the one at the hiso fashion show, and return to your table to overhear a foreign man hitting on a Thai girl nearby.

“Hey, you know Brad Pitt?” he asks.

“The actor? Yes…” she replies apprehensively. 

“Yeah, he’s my brother,” he says lightly. She responds with a polite laugh while walking away slowly. He follows her across the dance floor. “You know that guy Tom Cruise? Yeah, that’s my sister…”

At about 3, some guy you barely know comes up to you and says, “I go home with you tonight.” You mumble, “Err…no, um, you see…” and then as if answering some unspoken prayer, the lights come on. You ditch the weirdo and make your way to your friend, but it seems she doesn’t want to go home just yet. “Come on, there’s another place downstairs!” she yells, following some Japanese guys.

You walk down a foul-smelling hallway where discarded foam food containers lie abandoned in dim corners. Some guy can be heard telling a story to someone two or three flights up in a thick Russian accent. “No one in the history of the world has ever died of pain,” he bellows.

Down another flight you arrive in a hallway. It’s totally silent and you assume your friend must have been misinformed. There’s no party down here. The Japanese guys are walking back up the stairs when suddenly one of the horny shirtless dudes with bleached blonde hair and nipple piercings appears. He flashes a crooked smile and stumbles past you, leaning into one of the unmarked doors. Suddenly the hallway is an explosion of noise and light. A girl sitting on the inside of the door beckons you to come in quickly, then slams the door shut behind you.

This club is jumping with a more mixed crowd, and full sound and lighting system. In fact, if you didn’t know what time it was, you could easily have thought this was just a regular club. They are playing some cool hip-hop you are unfamiliar with, which blends samples of luk thung into the mix. It’s fresh, exciting, and you think to yourself, “why isn’t this kind of music played in hip-hop clubs all the time?”

As you make your way through the crowd, you are surprised how happy and upbeat the people seem. There’s no posing or pretentiousness. It’s like a house party scene in some 80s movie where people from all different scenes come together and have a good time. Every 15 minutes or so, the lights and the music suddenly get dimmer and people freeze on the dance floor, apparently because the police are rolling by. After this happens a few times, you and your friend decide it’s time to make your way home. This will be one joint to remember…that is, if you ever make it out this late again

James Brown once said, “It's a man world, but it wouldn't be nothin' without a woman.” In a male-dominated society like this, there are thankfully some spaces for the born-female to enjoy the privilege of being a lady—no matter if they behave like ladies-who-lunch or working-ladies.

Coyote

The popular Tex Mex eatery on Convent offers the fairer sex unlimited free sparking wine and/or La Casa margaritas every Wed night, 6-8pm. Not too shabby!
1/2 Convent Rd., Silom, 02-631-2325. BTS Sala Daeng. www.coyoteonconvent.com

Circle

Newly revamped American restaurant is now offering the ladies free martinis and sangria Thu evenings, 6-8pm.
20/27-29 Ruam Rudee Village, Soi Ruam Rudee, Ploen Chit, 02-650-8047. BTS Ploen Chit.

Glow

Glow was one of the first bars to honor one of Thailand’s few female DJs last year by letting DJ Nakadia grace the wheels of steel. Their extensive drink list can surely satisfy any taste, though the prices might be a little bit higher than typical bars in this area. Every Mon, ladies at Glow can enjoy one free drink while grooving to house tunes by DJ Chade.
96/4-5, Sukhumvit Soi 23, 02-261-3007, 02-261-4446. Open daily 6pm-1am.

Inch

The poshest bar in the area offers three cocktails for every born lady Thu nights, as long as you make it there before midnight.
55/49-60 Ratchadapisek Rd., 02-641-2963/-5. www.inchclub.com.

Jazz It

This newish bar in RCA really skews things in the ladies’ favor, as long as you come in early enough. Before 10pm all ladies get unlimited free well drinks, while groups of four or more girls get a free bottle of Red Label. Could be fun, as long as you don’t have any plans for the rest of the night.
21/39-40 Royal City Avenue, Block C (across from Route 66, behind Re-Feel), 06-106-5605. Open Tue-Sun, 8pm-2am. www.jazzitbangkok.com

Narcissus

Still there, going on but not sure about getting strong. No drink specials here but on their “chic” Wed nights, ladies at least get in for free to enjoy the cute little DJs Oatawa & Kolor One.
122, Shukumvit Soi 23, 02-258-2549, 02-258-4805. Open daily 9pm-2am.

Witch’s Tavern

Every Wed, the W.T. offers free beer and Bacardi rum drinks for ladies, 6-9pm. Stay on in this casual ex-pat bar to enjoy their house band, which plays Western pop and hip-hop favorites Mon-Sat, 10pm-1am.
306/1 Soi Thonglor, 02-391-9791, www.witch-tavern.com