1. Lots of luggage. The more designer suitcases, the better.

2. Really big sunglasses.

3. An entourage.

4. A hangover kit, to recover from those huge parties.

5. Big bulky bodyguards. Good for developing a misplaced sense of importance, as well as for a holiday fling.

Admit it. There’s a narcissistic streak in all of us and we like attention now and then. But when you’re recognized as a tourist in another country and are swamped by touts and bogus money changers, it can get a bit annoying. Here are some tips to pretend you’re a savvy local the next time you set foot on alien land.

1. Ditch your camera

The camera is the ubiquitous symbol of a tourist. Taking pictures of everything (and at every possible angle) every five seconds, whether it is of an old lady minding her own business or the road sign outside your hotel, is a dead giveaway that you’re a foreigner. So leave the device at home (or hide it discreetly inside your pocket).

2. Watch what you’re wearing

Unless you’re in Hawaii, there’s really not much of a reason to don your floral Hawaiian shirt. They’re passé (if they were ever cool in the first place) and indicate you’re someone on holiday, especially if they come with a fanny pack, a wallet necklace, a sunhat and sunglasses. If you don’t want to be stared (or laughed at), take the lead from the locals when it comes to clothes. If you’re a woman in Morocco for example, cover yourself from neck to ankle and don’t show too much skin.

3. Keep the map out of your face

Walking around with a map, with a lost expression to boot, is a no-no if you want to pass off for a street smart homeboy. So look like you know where you’re going (even if you don’t), and never admit that you’re lost. Consult your map only in the toilet (while holding your nose of course), and you know you have succeeded when people approach you for directions.

4. Less is more

Travel solo, or with just a few friends. Traveling in large tour groups, and being babied by tour guides like a sheep (especially if your group is wearing matching colored caps), signifies that you’re newbie to the place, and sometimes prevent you from experiencing as much of the foreign culture as you could be.

5. Speak the language

The more eloquent you are in the native language(s) of the country you’re in, the better you can communicate with its people, and hence, the higher the chance that they’ll mistake you as one of them. Learning the local slang is useful as well. For example, if you’re visiting Britain, know the difference between chips and crisps. If all else fails, pretend you’re a mute.

6. Make local friends

Friends exist to be made use of. Befriend natives from the area you’re visiting and hang out with them, preferably in local haunts little known to tourists. Hopefully, by association, a number of individuals will be conned into thinking you’re a fellow countryman.

7. Learn their customs

As the saying goes, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” The easiest way to trick people into thinking you’re one of them is to act like you are. Hence, cheek-kiss when you’re in certain parts of Latin America and jaywalk when in Bangkok.

We ask "What unglamorous acts have you seen people doing while travelling?"

Su Jun Jie, 24, Student
“Cooking in the tent! The tent could catch fire and they could get scalded.”

Woon Yang Hui, 22, Student
“I’ve seen people taking a five hour bus ride to Yosemite Park and then staying on the bus and not going out because it was too cold. So they’ve spent 10 hours on the bus for nothing!”

Isaac Teo, 29, Program Planner
“Jumping over the turnstiles in front of the public toilets in Europe. They didn’t want to pay the EU1 entry fee!”

Andy Leong, 28, Marketing Manager/DJ/Photographer
“Littering and catching fish where they shouldn’t in Phuket. They’re disturbing the ecosystem.”

Suhanna Solastro, 21, Outreach Program Assistant
“I’ve seen tourists getting it on at Fort Canning Park. I guess it’s common for them to do that in public in their country.”

It’s official. Chinese New Year has come and gone. It zipped by in a blur of relatives’ faces and the red angpows.

Now it’s time to get back into shape, and examine the way you’re spending your days.

There’re probably a whole lot of small changes you could make in your life to get yourself on the track towards better health (think of your sordid supper habits, uncontrollable office snacking impulses, inexplicable aversion towards exercising, shameless weekend binging—you get the picture).

So without further ado—here’re the I-S 10 Health Commandments. Print them out and paste them on your fridge, your office cubicle, on your dog—wherever—and stick to them.

1. Thou art the sole Lord of thy own appetite; thou shall not adopt thy favorite restaurants as thy gods.

2. Thou shall not mention the concept of Exercise in vain, and shall make every effort to climb the stairs instead of taking the escalator or elevator—hands in thy pockets.

3. Thou shall keep the Lord’s day cigarette- and lard-free.

4. Thu shall honor green leafy vegetables, fruits, and plain water—as well as exercise equipment and gym facilities.

5. Thou shall not kill, or even think of killing the person in front of thou in the queue who bought the last piece of chocolate cake in front of thy incredulous eyes.

6. Thou shall not commit adultery and ingest more than one type of vice-filled food at one time, on any given day—no matter how depressed thou art.

7. Thou shall not surreptitiously slosh down copious amounts of alcohol and think that no one cares.
We assure thee—God sees all.

8. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor and pretend it was he who absconded with the last piece of chye tao kway.

9. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife—unless she owns a gym and thou wishest to use it for free.

10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s char kway teow, Hokkien mee, or luat or any other dish soaked in oil and fat.

Time, as Einstein said, is relative. The week crawls by, taking an eternity, and the momentous arrival of the weekend fills most hearts with mad euphoria, only for the two days to fly.

While there’s nothing you can do about that, you can do something more inventive with your weekends other than just lazing around, shopping, watching a movie and eating (yawn). That’s why we, the ever-resourceful I-S team, have come up with loads of things to do over the weekend that, get this—cost less than $50.

All you have to do is read on for a power-packed weekend of fun and unexpected thrills, which won’t burn a hole in your pocket, if at all.

In The Still Of The Night

If you’re a nightowl

$5-10—Flex your musical muscles at Actor’s Bar (13A South Bridge Rd., 6533-2436), where for just the price of the drinks, you can sing and jam on instruments with fellow customers all night long from 6pm. However, unless you’re Singapore Idol material, we suggest you practice at home first to avoid embarrassment and ear-bleeds. Drinks are priced from only $5, and professional musicians do come in to jam later.

$9-15—Go back to gaming basics by checking out the large variety of non-electronic, board games at Settler’s Café (branches at 39 North Canal Rd., 6535-0435, #02-98, 15 Holland Dr., 6464-0178, 107 East Coast Rd., 6345-0071). Amuse yourselves with familiar childhood favorites such as Monopoly and Cluedo, along with new-fangled games like Cranium and Dragon Delta. With packages of $9 per person or $48 for groups of up to six people for two hours of games and abundant drinks and snacks, it’s proof that gaming can still be great fun when it’s unplugged.

$10-30—Go bar hopping at fine establishments that offer cheap rates for good drinks and—no cover charge. Like the hip Heat Ultralounge (2/F, Royal Plaza on Scotts, 25 Scotts Rd., 6589-7722), where martinis, mojitos and capirinhas go for $9.90 each with free bar snacks during their special “Heat Hours” from 5-7pm, and the chilled out Blu Jaz Too (11 Bali Lane, 6292-3800), which charges a mere $38 per bottle for wines and $8-20 for beers amid their weekend mix of house and jazz music. Or drink yourself silly at Vino Vino Dining & Wine Lounge (#01-56 UE Square, 207 River Valley Rd., 6737-7220) and WineBOS (47 North Canal Rd., 6538-7886), with their free flow of wines at 6-8pm going for only $12.

$12—Be entranced with the charms of Middle Eastern decadence at Café le Caire @Al Majlis (39 Arab St., 6292-0979), where Shisha smoking is practiced. Authority-fearing Singaporeans can rest assured: We can assure you that it’s absolutely legal, as it only involves inhaling tobacco smoke in a variety of fruity flavors through water pipes. Just $12.60 a serving that could last you till the café closes at 5.30am.

$10-48—Get a room in karaoke outlets if you like some privacy, such as Partyworld KTV (273 South Bridge Rd., 6223-3187) with rates as low as $20-28, or K-Ster Inc Karaoke (#04-01-22 Lucky Chinatown, 211 New Bridge Rd, 6222-2255) where $21 can get you five hours or more of warbling from 7pm-4am. At Ten Dollars Club (31-35 Smith St., 6225-1231), as its name suggests, charges only $10 a session for at least three people for three hours.

Groove Is In The Art

If you’re an arts lover

Free—Express your anti-establishment sentiments and make a great piece of art at the Youth Park (8 Grange Rd). Just buy a can of spray paint and go spray-zy over the walls built there for this purpose. The sky’s the limit and the more colorful, the better.

Free—Hop from art gallery to gallery. Some cool, offbeat galleries to check out are Utterly Art (229A South Bridge Rd., 6226-2605), which is well-known for its quirky, downright weird but always fun works from artists as varied as Andres Barrioqunito and Michael Cacnio. The Substation (45 Armenian St., 6337-7535) is chockfull of experimental, modern works that range from photography, installation art to oil paintings.

$50—Bring out your talent for pottery with Boon’s Pottery (#B1-02 Tanglin Place, 91 Tanglin Rd., 6836-3978). Classes are available at $50 per person for a three-hour session with materials and firing.

Treasure Trove

If you’re a bargain hunter

$2—Should you ever need to buy a plastic container, a biscuit cutter and a trowel all at the same place, pop by Japanese store Daiso (#03-06/06A/06B VivoCity, 1 HarbourFront Walk, 6376-8065), a wonderland that houses anything and everything you need. The quality is fab and the designs gorgeous—and everything costs $2. Enough said.

$2-20—Second-hand bookshops give a great deal. Pop by Books Galore (#05-107 Far East Plaza, 14 Scotts Rd., 6732-8773), and be boggled by the wide range of books that you can rent or buy. The books are not arranged in order, but that’s the beauty of it—you never know what you’ll find. They cost anything from $2 to $18. Another place to check out is Sunny Bookshop (#03-58/59 Far East Plaza, 14 Scotts Rd., 6733-1583). Books here are usually below $50, but new titles cost more. Their books come mintily wrapped; treat them well and get your money back when you return them. The guys who work here have good knowledge of their books which really helps.

$5-30—Rummage for used clothes, shoes and handbags at the Salvation Army Thrift Store (309 Upper Serangoon Rd., 6288-5438). We found Timberland shoes, Hush Puppies, Polo, Scholl and even a pair of Guess jeans all going for $30. If that’s still not enough for you, cash in on Cash Converters (#01-674 Blk 192, Toa Payoh Lor. 4, 6354-3380). You can’t bargain much, but the quality of the goods is better, with nice antiques sometimes. You can find old CDs ($5), home appliances ($12), plates and cups ($2), bicycles ($30), paintings ($2-50), crystal and rock carvings ($25), crystalware (below $50)... well, everything.

$25-45—For one-of-a-kind vintage clothing and accessories, check out Dustbunny Vintage (#04-18F Blk 79 Chay Yan St., 9691-9305). Featured items include box bags ($48), costume jewelry ($25-$45), shell necklaces ($45) and shoes ($45). And for a selection of sale items from Europe, US and Australia, go to Chain Chain Fashion (#02-01 Textile Centre, 200 Jalan Sultan, 6298-4911) to find all of last season’s collections on sale. We found really nice items like an Agn`es b-looking long-sleeved blouse ($45), pleated skirts ($40) and a lovely spaghetti-strap top ($25).

$10-50—Head on down to Little India’s Mustafa Centre (145 Syed Alwi Rd., 6295-5855) and find the best deals all year, 24 hours a day. Items we found worth noting were picnic baskets ($25.90), bean bags ($38.90), candle holders ($46), carpets ($45), “Japanese” sarees ($50), make-up kits (from $19 to $44) and 1.0 GB San Disk thumb drive ($34). But if you want to part with only $10, head to Wonderful Gifts and Costume Jewellery (87 Serangoon Rd., 6294-8996) and have a field day picking any three items for just $10.

Hit The Road

If you’re a frequent traveler

Free-$50—Take a jaunt across the causeway to Johor Bahru. It may be slightly provincial, but there is cheap shopping galore at shopping centers like City Square (108 Jln Wong Ah Fook, Johor Bahru, Malaysia), only a short walk from the Immigration and Customs Complex. Let’s not forget the favorable exchange rate for Malaysian ringgit too. How much you spend here is really up to you.

$4-11—Get away from the concrete jungle. Pulau Ubin is only $2 by bumboat from Changi Point Ferry Terminal, or $1 if you swathe yourself in orange robes and pass yourself off as a monk. Once there, rent a bike for only $3 a day, hitch a cab, or walk. Trips to Kusu Island and St. John’s Island cost only $11 return from Marina South Pier. Soak in the island air and marvel at the lack of crowds there.

Chomp It Up

If you’re a foodie

$0.70-6—Kopi freaks should really stake out Tanjong Pagar Railway Station—KTM (30 Keppel Rd., 6222-5165) for some excellent (not to mention cheap) kopi, as well as great Malay food. Prata maniacs should just set foot in the whole Jalan Kayu stretch, famously known for a bunch of prata shops sell all types of prata. Kosong, egg-filled, curry—you name it, they have it.

$5-30—Watch the world go by—go alfresco. A nice nook to visit is eM by the River (#01-05 The Gallery Hotel, 1 Nanson Rd., 6836-9691. There are tons of drinks (beers, shooters and the like) here and also sandwiches, salads, desserts and dips to try.

$4-50—Hunt down the best seafood—in Jurong. 66 Leisure Beer Garden (Jurong Reptile Park, 241 Jalan Ahmad Ibrahim, 6265-3130) is where you can fish for huge live prawns from a few prawn ponds. After a successful catch, pop them on a grill for a mouthwatering meal. It costs $13 per hour and $25 for three hours (depending on how good or bad you are at fishing). If you want to stuff yourself with more scrumptious seafood, head down to the nearby 81 Fishhead Steamboat (Jurong Reptile Park, 241 Jalan Ahmad Ibrahim, 6265-3130) where you make specific requests on how you’d like your seafood to be cooked. You can also check out a wide variety of fantastic seafood dishes while there. Butter crabs, anyone? Prices range from $4-50.

Cheap Treats

If you’re a health enthusiast

Free-$30—If you’re broke but desperately need a massage, just pop by any OTO Bodycare store (#04-08A Plaza Singapura, 68 Orchard Rd., 6337-5616) and pretend to be massively interested in their Cyber-Lux massage chair. Sit down, have a trial massage then get up and say you’ll think about it. Or if you’re not thick-skinned enough to do that, go to De Beaute And Slimming (#B1-00/10 Singapore Shopping Centre, 190 Clemenceau Ave., 6334-1133) for a 30-min massage for the whole back that starts with the neck that costs only $28.

$20—Take a trip to the Asian Golf Academy (601 Sin Ming Ave., 6453-6653) for a golf experience without the hefty club membership. It costs $3 for 50 balls (with a $5 non-refundable deposit), and at least $15 with a smart card.

$20-25—Discover any innate dancing abilities you might have with Dance Arts Singapore (#05-39 Funan Digitalife Mall, 109 North Bridge Rd., 6338-2124). Join the adults’ ballet class for only $20 for a single one-hour session. A 1.5-hour single session costs $25.

$40—Go for a cheap mani-pedi session at White Lotus Palace (36B Boat Quay, 6536-0772). At $40 per session, you’ll also receive a French manicure for free.

Thrills And Spills

If you are a thrill-seeker

Free—Love being scared? Ghoulish Trails will take you to some of the most haunted places in Singapore. Look up www.spi.com.sg to find out more details of when they are held. If you dare.

Free—Le Parkour is an art and a discipline where the traceur (the participant of this sport) attempts to pass obstacles in the fastest, most direct and most efficient way possible. Practiced in urban areas, you will never look at an HDB estate in the same way again. Check out the Singapore forum www.le-parkour.sg to find out more about this physical art form and how to start. Trust us—it’s a lot more thrilling than it sounds here.

$3-20—Spend a day at the horse races at Singapore Turf Club (Singapore Racecourse, 1 Turf Club Ave., 6879-1000) for the price of an entrance fee. Check out www.turfclub.com.sg for weekly race fixtures. The next big race, the Chairman’s Trophy, happens on Mar 23.

$8-40—Nothing is as wet and fun as wakeboarding. At Ski360° (East Coast Lagoon, No. 1206A East Coast Parkway, 6442-7318) an overhead cable substitutes for a boat. Adrenalin junkies—the cable moves at up to 58kph, and costs only $40 per hour or $8 per round.

$55—If underwater shenanigans is your thing, try scuba diving. Check out Gill Divers (87B Tanjong Pagar Rd., 6734-9373) where their Discover Scuba course is $55 nett per person. OK, so this is only an introductory session in a swimming pool but you gotta learn the basic stuff before you can swim with the sharks, right?

$56—For those needing adrenaline-pumping fun, try paintballing at Tag Paintball (Orchid Country Club, 1 Orchid Club Rd., 6324-0038). Entrance fee is at $15 for 9am-5pm and $20 for 5pm-midnight, with a minimum purchase of 1,000 paintballs at $250—spilt this cost between at least six of your mates. Make your bookings at least two days in advance.

Take Notes

If you're a music junkie

$15—Go hunt for used CDs and vinyls at specialist music shops like Roxy (#02-15, 5 Coleman St., 6337-7783), Simply Music (#03-12 The Adelphi, 1 Coleman St. , 6336-2938) and Straits Records ( 43 Haji Lane , 9431-1572). For as little as $15, we’ve discovered out-of-print vinyls from Transvision Vamp, Pet Shop Boys, Kim Wilde, Madonna, Joy Division and many more. You’ll never know what else you can find here.

$18-48—Support local acts like Electrico, who will play at the University Cultural Centre, NUS on Mar 2, 7:30pm for $18-48. Expect to hear hits from their last two hit albums, as well as some covers. Other acts like Bushmen (Mar 2, 6:45pm) and Heritage (Mar 3, 6:45pm) also perform at the University Cultural Centre theater foyer for free as part of the NUS Arts Festival.

Free-$58—Check out great music performances at the Mosaic Music Festival at the Esplanade for as low as well, nothing. If you like rock, look no further than Korean five-piece rockers Rock Tigers (Mar 10, 10pm). But if you have $38 to spare, we recommend folk-jazz crooner and guitarist, Terry Callier (Mar 10, 10pm), who will deliver ferocious numbers from his albums Lifeline and African Violet. And for $58, troubadour Jose Gonzales (Mar 11, 11pm) and his forlorn voice is a must. Log onto www.mosaicmusicfestival.com.

We asked 4 individuals how they would spend their $50 or less for the weekend.

“Secret beach bumming, full day inane telly watching, lightweight flea-marketing, new makan hunting, and Sunday chin-wagging with good friends and sundowner one-for-one drinks at Wala Wala.”—Genevieve Loh, marketing executive

“Only good for Sundays: Go rollerblading in the morning at East Coast Park for two hours for $6. Then head down to China Square Central to hunt down my ideal Todd McFarlane action figure worth $25-30, after which I take a bus to Little India to enjoy a light lunch at New Woodlands Restaurant for just $5, inclusive of paper dosai, rasam and coffee. If I have $10 left, I’d take a walk down to Mustafa Shopping Centre and buy a pack of almonds for that healthy office snack.”—Melanie Oliveiro, radio producer-presenter

“When I feel like slumming over the weekend, I’d go and chill out at Bussorah Street where I’d read a book over iced latte at Sleepy Sam’s, adjourn for satay and tahu goreng at the Malay cafe four doors away, and finish with teh tarik in that famous corner stall at the intersection of Bussorah Street and Baghdad Street. If there is anything left over from the $50, I’d pick up some cheap, funky memorabilia from antique house Grandfather’s Shop, like a paper kite or glass marbles.”—Dr. K. K. Seet, lecturer and theater critic

“Watching TV at my boyfriend’s house might sound mundane, but it’s like a random ritual that I carry out because I don’t have TV at home, so watching TV becomes like a festival. For cheap eats, I’d go for the $5 kebab at Sultan Kebab in Peace Centre, which is really nice.”—Foo Aiwei, artist

Whether you want to make it into a hobby, a full-blown profession, or you just want to spruce up your living space, going beyond your monthly browsing of Wallpaper* is the first step to taking interior design a bit more seriously. Try these places for beginner classes.

Accademia Italiana

This is a brand new institute from Italy for those who are serious about interior design. (How serious? See the prices, below.) The academy offers many levels of interior design programs, ranging from a one-year basic course to a three-year advanced level course, which is a precursor to studying for a master’s degree. As for the fees, it’s B165,000 per semester plus a B60,000 enrollment fee.
998 Soi Thonglor, Klongton, Wattana 02-391-9103. Open Mon-Fri 9am-7pm, Sat-Sun 10am-5pm. www.aithai.co.th.

All Step Computer Graphic Solution

Technology meets creativity at All Step, where the focus is on computer graphic programs like 3D Studio Max. Their interior design and architecture course will teach you how to create 3D models, choose materials for each model and how to set up compositions and perspectives in your work. Their 36-hour course costs B5,500 and is limited to 5-7 students per class.
2/F, Seri Center, Srinakarin Rd., 02-748-4384 ext 1, 08-6899-9921. Open Mon-Fri noon-6:30pm, Sat-Sun noon-9pm. www.allstep.net.

Bangkok CODE

This is a community for those who love art and design. They offer a variety of design courses, including “Room Planning with Style,” which teaches the basics of space and furniture arrangement, as well as color theory and lighting. For a 24-hour course, the fee is B6,300. Classes are limited to a maximum of 15 students. Other design classes include feng shui for architects, landscaping for home gardens, interior color and furniture design.
KMUTT, 231/2 South Sathorn Rd., 02-673-9434/-5, 02-470-9922, 02-211-9405, 02-211-9367. Open Mon-Fri 9am-8pm, Sat-Sun 9am-6pm. www.bangkokcode.com.

Din Sor See School

Din Sor See has interior design classes taught by experienced tutors in a homey atmosphere. For a basic course (12 lessons), it will cost you B2,500 (10% discount through May 9). Watercolor painting, oil painting and drawing lessons are also available. Private courses are offered at B3,000/15 hours.
Room. No. 206, 2/F, Scala Theater, Siam Square Soi 1, 02-254-7968/9. Open Mon, Wed-Fri noon-7pm, Sat-Sun 9am-6:30pm.

International Art School

IAS has classes to help improve your sketching, drawing and painting skills, so that you can transform your dark and gloomy room into a chic and comfy palace.
Its 33-hour “Interior Decoration 1” course covers fundamental functions and composition in interior decoration: choosing materials, writing specifications, color theory and presentation. B4,550.
Alliance Francaise, 29 South Sathorn Rd., 02-670-4200. Open Mon-Fri 9:30am-6pm, Sat-Sun 9:30am-5:30pm. www.alliance-francaise.or.th

We don’t know about you, but we think the only things worth looking forward to during CNY are the holidays, food and, of course, the money. And already these are fast losing their appeal. You get days off, but all the damn shops are closed. The food is the same every year and sickeningly fattening. The ang pow money you get is pathetic—and gets more paltry the older you get.

Add dodgy relatives, the even dodgier questions they ask, tedious visits you’re forced to perform, long office lunches and you get the idea. CNY is not exactly something to be wild about. Check out the essential I-S Get-Through-CNY-In-One-Piece-Guide to coast through it all with a winning grin.

How To Tackle Human Beings Unfortunately Related To You (Read: Relatives)

If you’re one of those rare people who are all chummy with your relatives and find yourself counting down the days to CNY anxiously just because you’re so eager to see them again, you can skip this bit.

This section is reserved for those of us who only see our relatives once in a blue moon and find ourselves wracking our dry-as-bone minds for things to say to them. It’s also dedicated to those of us who are unfortunate enough to have insensitive, raucous relatives firing mentally challenged questions at you the minute you start warming the couch. So without further ado...

Handling Stupid Questions

What to say when they ask:

“When are you getting married?”
Give a ridiculous, but polite answer. Maybe something like, “2017 is a good time as we heard that Mars and Venus will align. The interplanetary movements coincide with the non-linear motion of the intergalactic progression of the atmospheric pressure of the universe.” As they take a breath to fathom all that, make a quick escape.

Or, laugh and say loudly “Wah, Fifth Aunt! Every year you ask me the same question! You wanna give me a very big red packet issit?” Then watch her squirm at that uncomfortable prospect. Look sorrowful and say: “No lah, not yet. How to? I’m married to my job. No time, just no time.” Then try a choked sob—melodrama sometimes works.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”
A question as shamelessly intrusive as this deserves only the stupidest of replies. Instead of mumbling an embarrassed “No...,” try this tactic. Start yammering about how great, cute, reliable, adorable and in love you are with “the man in your life” then end off with “Yeah, so all my friends say I’m really lucky to have such a great dog.” Stupid questions get stupid replies.

How To Cope With Last-Minute Visits

Some relatives are just so eager to grace your house with their wonderful presence that they don’t even bother to give you any real notice. Instead, they parachute in and expect you to be all ready for them. Some tricks to pull:
• Tidy up your living room—the most important area. Forget the bedrooms—just lock the doors.
• But be sure you haven’t got underwear hanging on your doorknobs.
• Clean up your toilet. Get rid of bits of hair, dirt—you get the idea. Make sure there’s enough toilet paper.
• Play some DVDs when they arrive, so your guests can watch something when conversation dries up.
• Hide all the photos you don’t want your guests seeing—dodgy graduation pictures, old boyfriend pictures, you in a bad haircut—and chuck them somewhere safe, like in your locked bedroom.

Receiving Red Packets

Always receive a red packet with both hands and thank your relative, no matter how odious they are. If they throw in an inane comment like, “Get married soon! So big already still haven’t give out red packets!”, just smile and say “Yeah, that’s why I don’t want to get married.” And laugh—much better than blushing furiously. Or act dumb—chirrup “Thanks ah!” loudly, then skip away.

Remember to bring some spare Mandarin oranges along—in twos (it’s for good luck). If you give out red packets, always bring spare cash and red packets in case you miscount someone’s kids.

Learn at least one or two CNY phrases in Mandarin or your dialect for the benefit of your grandparents. They’ll be over the moon—and maybe your red packet will be bigger next year.

Making Conversation During CNY Lunch

Being trapped by relatives at every angle does strange things to you. During your desperate attempts to fill up moments that scream of awkwardness with your cousins, make sure you don’t end up being a clone of The Rude Relative and start asking those same questions you’re been trying to avoid answering yourself. Here’s what you can say:

Talk about the food. Something as simple as “The yu sheng is nice, yeah?” will break the ice. If your target just gives a dead “Yeah” to your question (something likely to happen), follow up brightly with something like “Hey, did you know yu sheng was invented in Singapore?” That might help, because food is something everyone can relate to.

Make nice observations about their appearance. Maybe not, “Have you put on weight?”. Try, “Where did you get this dress?” or “Nice tie!”. Most people end up talking more when they’re flattered.

Talk about movies, music, TV shows. But current ones, not Top Gun.

If the conversation is still terrible after your noble attempts, don’t engage in time-consuming activities like shelling prawns. If you do, hawk-like relatives will swoop down on you with more tortuous questions. Instead, help yourself to all the easy-to-eat food and then get the heck away from the table.

Another option is to just eat. If the conversation is going badly, just zoom in on your favorite dish and stuff yourself silly, with mega exaggerated chewing motions so no one will ask you any questions. It’s like, hello? Can’t you see I’m busy?

Walk around and eat if you can—you’ll have more freedom to mingle with some like-minded souls (if there are any). You won’t feel so pressured to make conversation, unlike when you’re seated
at a table. 

Surviving The Office Lunch & Red Packet Payout

What do you do when you’re sitting with a bunch of people you hardly know but must lo hei with? What do you say? How much do you eat? Does your boss like to make small talk? Try these tips:

Have a firm grip on your chopsticks when you’re going to lo hei (that’s the plate of ingredients that you’re supposed to toss up for good luck). You don’t want to drop them, and have all the bits landing on your hand as everyone is tossing.

In the euphoria of saying impromptu good-luck phrases as you’re tossing, make sure you don’t bellow “PAYRISE!” if your boss is sitting at your table, unless he’s a really good sport.

Be considerate and don’t leave the bony chicken bits or scraggly veggies for everyone. Get the food from the edge of the plate, not the center.

Try not to talk about work—it’s a complete bummer. Get a nice conversation going that revolves around light-hearted stuff.

What To Do When You Go Visiting

It’s easy to forget yourself when you’re in someone’s house and have had a drink or two. Keep these pointers in mind.

• Be punctual.
• Don’t scatter peanut and melon shells all over the coffee table. It’s not your house, honey.
• Don’t empty the round snack box in five minutes flat.
• Bring something nice for the host.
• If you’re bored out of your skull, take refuge in the washroom but not for so long that your host suspects you’re taking a dump. Flush properly and don’t leave a mess.
• Smile, a lot.

How To Avoid Putting On Weight

There’s loads of food during CNY. From pineapple tarts, peanut balls, bak kwa, melon seeds plus tons more rich food, you need to have a guide to keep the pounds from piling on.

Follow these rules:
• Avoid pineapple tarts and melon seeds. Melon seeds are loaded with oil and fat.
• Pineapple tarts are maddeningly sweet and just the jam alone is enough to add five pounds.
• Eat lots of preserved fruit instead (e.g. mango slices). Those are nowhere as enjoyable as pineapple tarts, but hey, it’s something.
• Avoid bak kwa. Heaty, oily, sinful. Enough said.
• Kueh lapis is also to be avoided at all costs. There’s a reason why it’s called thousand layer cake. You don’t want those thousand layers around your waist, right?

Gong xi fa cai!

In seminars around the world, representatives of glass companies are spreading their gospel of glass and converting even the most skeptical of wine drinkers. What they are preaching is this: if you’re serious about wine, you should be serious about your stemware. Wine simply tastes better in better glasses, they say.

Wine glasses have always been crucial for wine tasting among aficionados. “Good glasses bring out the best in wine,” says Khun Tiwa Yenwattna, the Premier Sommelier at the Mandarin Oriental Bangkok’s renowned Le Normandie restaurant.

In addition, it’s not enough to buy the highest-quality stemware you can afford—you also should be buying the right glasses for the wine you are drinking. Most of us are aware of the “three glass” rule: one for Champagne, another for red wine and a different one for white. But top producers of stemware such as Riedel, Spiegelau and Zwiesel 1872 offer a wide range of glasses that include some designed for appellations (areas, such as Bordeaux) and varietals (grapes, such as merlot).

Can science really re-engineer the way we enjoy our old grape juice? Or do we just think a certain glass makes a wine taste better because it’s prettier—or more expensive?

The Basics

The characters of each and every wine can be distinguished by color, aroma and taste. The complete wine tasting experience is all about enjoying these three elements Wine glasses are meant to offer smooth delivery from the bottle to you.

Material. Because of its color, sight is the first sense wine appeals to. Feel free to judge the book by its cover, observing the color and the consistency of the liquid will roughly indicate age and types of grapes, or even alcohol content. Wine aficionados swear by colorless, transparent, and unadorned glasses, just the bare essentials.

Stem. Wine is a living thing, and performs best at a certain temperature. Any heat interference will undesirably hinder aroma and taste. The glass stem acts as a buffer between you and the wine to prevent your body heat from being transferred to the content inside the glass. Plus, it also allows you to hold the glass comfortably without leaving greasy and smudgy fingerprints, which would prevent you from truly appreciating the wine’s beautiful color.

Size. The point is that the glass should be able to hold a sufficient amount of wine and allow you to swirl it around without spilling it, in order to release the bouquet. It’s a careful balance between being big enough to hold a good portion, containing the aroma, and yet releasing it to your nose.

Shape. The shape of a wine glass defines its purpose. The egg shape or tulip shape, where it is wider at the base and narrower at the rim, will form an air bubble containing the wine’s bouquet and increase the intensity of it toward your nose. When it comes the time to experience the love at first sip, a thin and polished lip will carefully direct the flow of wine to the proper area on your tongue. The thinner the better.

Methods and Materials

Traditionally, glassware was made by artisans who blew the glass into the desired shape. Nowadays, industrial automation has become more conventional. The handmade/mouth-blown method is believed to be superior to machines due the superior craftsmanship of glassblowers that produces thinner walls and lips.
Crystal is both colorless and allows for unadorned glasses, but the popularity crystal enjoys is mostly courtesy of its uniquely reflective surface, especially for lead crystal. Lead increases shininess as well as density compared to typical glasses. The end result is strength and a more polished appearance. Unfortunately, the beauty of lead crystal comes at a price, as it has been linked to food safety issues (see below).

Get the Right Glass

Wine tasting is as subjective as things get. Sommeliers (professional wine tasters) have lent their expertise to glassmakers to make stemware that brings out the best in each wine, capture its essence, and create the perfect harmony between wine and glass. New breeds of wine glasses are now available that promise to maximize your wine tasting experience through the use of touch, sight, smell and taste.

Cabernet Sauvignon and merlot, red wines famous for their strong flavor and full to medium body, are best drunk from tall, wide-bowled glasses, for example. Glasses with even wider and larger bowls help to reveal the delicate bouquet and light to medium body of pinot noir. Also, due to pinot noir’s sweetness and low levels of tannin, the lips of pinot noir glasses are designed to direct the flow of the wine to the tip of your tongue, where tastebuds that sense sweetness are located. The same rules also apply to glasses for white wine. So a chardonnay glass might be slightly taller than a sauvignon blanc glass to flatter its oak and toasty personality.

Does this mean we should all run out and buy a different glass for every wine that we plan to drink? Most of us aren’t so sophisticated about wine that we worry about a wine’s toasty personality being lost in the “wrong” glass. And even if we accept that our wine-drinking experience would be different with a different glass, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it would be a better experience. In the end, your choice of wineglass is like wine itself: it’s about what you can afford—and what makes you happy.

Get the Lead Out

Lead crystal may release lead into the food with which it comes in contact. On the plus side, the amount of lead in crystal is typically well below the maximum allowable amount by law. Regardless, there are steps you can follow to minimize any possible risk:

1. Use lead crystal only when serving, not storing.

2. Soak your new crystal glasses in vinegar for 24 hours and rinse thoroughly before using.

3. Wash by hand with mild detergent. Dishwasher detergents can damage the surface of the crystal, causing more lead to be released.

Tender-Loving Care

The following tips will guarantee your investment will last a lifetime—assuming you don’t drop your investment, that is.

1. Wash glasses under warm water, detergent is optional

2. Dry them by placing on top of a towelupside down

3. For extra shine, steam over boiling water

4. To polish, use two linen tea towels. Hold the glass at its base and polish by using your left hand to cradle the bowl while polishing with your right hand. Never twist the base and bowl, which could cause the stem to snap.

Holding the glass to the light is the best way to check for its cleanliness or any leftover smudges.

The Contenders

Riedel

Sommeliers Collection (B3,300-4,800)
This Austrian-based crystal maker has been around since 1756. It is considered to be one of the most trusted names for both amateur and professional wine enthusiasts. Its Sommelier Collection is widely used by several major hotels and resorts worldwide including Le Normandie at Mandarin Oriental Bangkok. The Collection features large wine-specific tailored selection of handmade / mouth-blown full-lead crystal stemware. Available at Emporium and Siam Paragon.

Spiegelau

Adina Collection (B,1400-1,500)
Recently acquired by Riedel, its collection features large selections similar to its sister company, however, at lower prices. Adina Collection offers handmade / mouth-blown non-lead crystal stemware for cautious spenders. Available at Emporium, Siam Paragon and Central Chit Lom.

Zwiesel 1872

The First Collection (starting from B,2,300)
Enrico Bernado, an award-winner from the world sommelier competition in 2004, has helped create this extensive collection of 18 wine glasses and 2 decanters. The collection won the RedDot Design Award in 2006. It is handmade / mouth-blown non-lead crystal. Available at Emporium Siam Paragon, Central Chit Lom and Zen.

“Check the tags for ‘made in [country]’ and make sure collars are stain free. Fake stuff usually comes from different countries of origin.”
J.son Tang from Filthy

“When washing jeans, turn them inside out and scrub only the inside of the jeans. Never scrub the exterior. Use a mild detergent to wash—shampoo works great. Finally, dry under the hot sun inside out to kill any germs or bacteria that might reside.”
Chang from The Attic

“Look for something that has been looked after and holds its shape. If it looks fake, don’t buy it. Don’t forget the tags—if it looks old then it should be real.”
Phil Gallagher from www.istealmemories.com

2007 may be the Year of the Pig, but that doesn’t mean you have to look and feel like one. If you spent most of 2006 moping around with a cigarette in one hand and a deep fried chicken leg in the other, then follow me on this eight-fold path and uncover a healthier, fitter and radiant New You in the New Year!

1. Cleansing and Colonics

If you indulged too much over the festive season and are feeling a bit bummed out, it might be time for an intestinal spring cleaning with, in the words of Homer Simpson, “a cool, refreshing pina colonic.”

If having water pumped into your rectum sounds about as much fun as amoebic dysentery in hell, read on. Colonics are actually painless affairs, but are highly effective in cleaning the toxins, fecal debris, inorganic matter and other nasty stuff from the body. With the aid of herbal nutrients and a cleansing diet, they can be a powerful way to release poisons and change negative thought patterns, allowing a new energetic and cheeky you to emerge.

The tranquil haven of Rasayana Retreat (57 Sukhumvit Soi 39 [Soi Prom Mitr], 02-662-4803/-5. Open daily 9am-8pm. www.rasayanaretreat.com) is offering a variety of cleansing programs and treatments to kick-start 2007. Their 1-Day Detox (B4,990) includes a colonic, yoga class, detox massage, ear candling session and cleansing meal. Their 7-day Rejuvenation Package (B14,000) includes three colonics and all herbal supplements.

Hydrohealth (4/F, Erawan Bangkok, 02-250-7800. Open daily 10am-8pm. www.hydrohealth.co.th) offers special 1-day (B8,100) and 3-day (B17,500) detox programs which use colonics, massage and infrared sauna to zap toxins. You’ll need to mention that you’re a BK reader.

2. Hot Yoga

Get your legs behind your head in 37 degrees? No sweat. Devised by Yogiraj Bikram Choudhury, “Hot Yoga” is a series of 26 postures which are practiced in rooms heated to 37°. It’s acquiring a legion of celebrity followers like Michael Jackson, Madonna and Brooke Shields…and maybe the New You in 2007!

According to proponents, the heated environment helps protect muscles, thin blood, promote detox, improve strength, encourage weight loss and, somewhat paradoxically, keeps the body from overheating. It also makes you smell like a wet collie, so unless you want unlimited standing space on the BTS, shower well after the 90-minute sessions.

Postures focus mainly on the spine and fans say they’re a lot more manageable than other forms of yoga. According to Rena, an instructor at Absolute Yoga Studio, “Yoga can be whatever you want it to be depending on the effort and focus you invest in your practice.” And for any men who may be reticent about joining a class, Rena has some encouraging advice: “Yoga’s not about flexibility,” she insists, “and there’s lots of women in spandex.”

Absolute Yoga (4/F, Amarin Plaza, Ploenchit Rd., 02-252-4400. Open Mon-Fri 7am-7:45pm, Sat-Sun 9am-4:30pm. www.absoluteyogabangkok.com) has six studios around the city and packages for first-timers (gets you one class a day) start at B2, 950 per month.

Yoga Elements (23/F, Vanissa Bldg., 29 Soi Chitlom, 02-655-5671. Open Mon-Thu 7am-9pm, Fri-Sun 9am-6pm. www.yogaelements.com) offers unlimited classes to new comers for B2,900 a month.

3. Quit Smoking

It’s easy, I’ve done it loads of times.

“Tobacco...There is no herb like it under the canopy of heaven.” wrote Charles Kingsley in the 19th century, and he was probably right. If you’ve made many half-assed attempts to give up this insidious drug, think about this: Allen Carr, anti-smoking guru and author of The Easy Way to Give Up Smoking died of lung cancer last November. Maybe 2007 should be your smoke free-choke free year?

KIK in conjunction with the Travmin Bangkok Medical Center (8/F, Alma Link Bldg., 25 Soi Chitlom, 02 655-1024/5. Open Mon-Fri 9am-5pm. www.kikasia.com) have a choice of 3 programs to give you the best chance of quitting. The basic Silver Package (B9,990) includes a health check, advice manual, medication and support program to help get you through the tough times.

4. Hit the Gym

Gym’ll fix it.

Last year your fat thighs were no big deal because they were hidden by your stomach. But no excuses in 2007: Take matters into your own chubby hands and join a gym.

For the uninitiated, gyms can be intimidating places full of deafening techno, hardcore exercise freaks, confusing machinery and irritatingly beautiful people; but don’t be scared. Gyms are, in fact, a safe and fun place to get fit, providing free consultations, extensive equipment, personal trainers and individualized fitness programs to help you get the most out of your workout. And with many city gyms also offering a sweaty selection of classes like Tai-Bo, Pilates, aerobics and circuit training, soon you’ll be one of the irritatingly beautiful people.

Cascade Club and Spa (6-7/F, The Ascott Sathorn Bldg., South Sathorn Rd., 02-676-6969, Open Mon-Fri 6am-10pm, Sat-Sun 8am-9pm) is a high-class fitness facility on the 7th floor of The Ascott on Sathorn. Membership costs B36,000 per annum and includes unlimited use of steam, sauna and swimming pool.

Fitness First have 13 clubs around Bangkok all starting at B2,600 per month. Facilities include cardio-vascular training, spinning and group aerobics studios, steam-rooms and sauna. Their executive branch (Bio House, Soi Sukhumvit Soi 39, 02-262-0520. Open Mon-Fri 6am-10pm, Sat-Sun 8am-9pm) also has a swimming pool.

5. Lose Weight, Eat Well 

Obesity is, quite literally, a growing epidemic in Thailand, and according to WHO, more than 1 billion adults are currently overweight worldwide. If you’ve eaten all the pies and now rank among the heavyweights, make 2007 the year you rediscover your waistline. There are several cafes and restaurants around town that help make eating out a healthful affair.

Rasayana Living Food Café (Sukhumvit Soi 39 [Soi Prom Mitr], 02-662-4803) offers enzyme and vitamin packed healthful food. All meals are vegetarian, raw, and free of sugar, wheat or dairy produce.

Tamarind Café (Soi Sukhumvit 20, 02-663-7421, Open Mon-Fri 3pm-midnight, Sat, Sun 10am-midnight) dishes up healthy and delicious vegetarian creations from all corners of the globe.

Anotai (976/17 Rim Klong Samsaen Rd., 02-641-5366/-70) serves health-concious Thai vegetarian dishes along with some salads and pastas.

6. Spa For Your Skin

Get pummeled and scrubbed and wrapped in mud—all in the name of beauty. 

Contrary to what some men like to think, skin is actually the largest organ in the body. And it’s responsible for all kinds of thankless jobs like respiration, excretion, absorbing oxygen and exhaling poisons. In the unlikely event that your entire body was somehow covered in spray paint, you wouldn’t get enough oxygen through breathing alone to sustain life. So give your hard-working, long-suffering skin a break this year, and spend a few hours in one of Bangkok’s rejuvenating spas.

Aside from the usual Thai and aromatherapy massage, most spas also offer therapeutic body wraps and scrubs. During a wrap the body is covered with mud or oils and then wrapped up like a hot-dog in plastic, and sometimes heated with a thermo blanket. Wraps help release toxins, reduce cellulite, stimulate circulation and nourish the skin. Scrubs effectively exfoliate and invigorate.

The folks at Devarana Spa (The Dusit Thani Bangkok, 946 Rama 4 Rd., 02-636-3596. Open daily 9am-10pm. www.devaranaspa.com)—voted Bangkok’s best spa by BK readers for the past four years—have come up with a tasty new treatment for 2007: 129 Mix and Match Scrubs. From B2,100, scrub-ees can create their own recipe from nine edible ingredients including chocolate, almond, coconut, coffee and cinnamon. So why not get covered in all the sinful things forbidden on your New Year’s diet?

Divana Nurture Spa (8 Soi Sukhumvit 35, 02-261-4818/9. Open Mon-Fri 11am-11pm, Sat-Sun 10am-11pm) is now offering the 3-hour Intimate Elegance treatment, which includes foot soak, body massage, aromatic steam, body scrub and floral milky bath at B3,950, so that you can clean and refreshing from head to toe.

7. Hi-Tech Health

Are you so lazy that you hate even emptying the trash in the recycle bin on your computer? Is “running late” the only exercise you get? If you have neither the time nor inclination to spend hours pumping iron at the gym, then speed wellness could be just the ticket. The Bodhi (20/F, 253 Asoke Bldg., 02-640-8090. Open daily 7am-9pm and Unit 403/4, 4/F, Erawan Bangkok, 02-250-7882. Open daily 10am-8pm. www.thebodhi.com), Thailand’s first such center, uses cutting-edge technology from Germany (used by the German soccer team, no less) that makes getting fit a quick, and relatively painless affair.

“People are busy, busy, busy, so we make it speedy,” explains Ruben, the center’s friendly “Master Trainer.” And speedy it most certainly is. Using electricity currents, vacuum and vibrations, futuristic machines like the Hypoxi L250 Trainer, the Vacunaut, and the VM 400 give effective work outs in as little as 15 minutes. Membership costs B20,000 for one month, or B50,000 for three.

8. Remake Your Face

A svelte, gym-honed physique isn’t much use if you’re so ugly even the tide won’t take you out. Nature often needs a helping hand, and sometimes it should be holding lipstick, so put the finishing touch-ups to the New You with a professional makeover.

Cosmetic consultants design a look based on your skin type and color, and can recommend shades to complement your tone, dark circles and zits. They also offer application tips to improve your war-painting and can help you to update your look using samples from new season collections.
Makeovers with major cosmetic brands can be pricey, but BSC, Arty and Tell Me offer free make-up consultations in Robinson stores citywide; try Robinson Silom (2 Silom Rd., 02-266-3340/-50. Open daily 10.30am-10pm. www.robinson.co.th.)

This goes for you guys, as well. Arty is popular among gay and metrosexual men “because of its many shades of pressed powder,” one store manager told us. Go on, don’t be shy.

We remember how yucky it was when Singapore was hit by the haze recently. And we know our neighbors in some Asian cities struggle with pollution on a daily basis. Let’s face it—it’s getting increasingly difficult to get good, clean and fresh air nowadays. Every breath we take is mixed with smog, dust, gas fumes or noxious gases.

While a degree of air pollution can be expected from a bustling urban city, there are steps we can take to improve the quality of air we’re breathing. We don’t want lungfuls of sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxide, carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, lead, smog, hydrocarbons, chlorofluorocarbons (CFC’s), all of which have adverse environmental and health effects. So learn how you can improve the air you’re inhaling—the I-S way.

Reuse, reduce, recycle

How will it help? Yep, the old adage still applies. The main sources of air pollution in Singapore come about when fossil fuels are burnt to generate heat and electricity for manufacturing and industry. So if you can recycle paper, plastic and glass, wastage is reduced, factories won’t have to churn out quite so much and hence will release less noxious fumes into the air.
Any other benefits? Recycling paper saves trees and reduces the greenhouse effect. You can also save money and get more creative when reusing stuff.

Save energy

How will it help? Use less power, wherever you are. Most electrical companies get power by burning coal and other fossil fuels. So switch off the lights when no one is in the room, use less air-conditioning and unplug all electrical devices if they are not being used, as they use up energy when they’re plugged in, even if they’re not switched on. If you use less electricity, power companies burn less fossil fuel and thus pollution is reduced.
Any other benefits? You save money on your electricity bill. You might even get a trimmer figure as you dash madly from room to room switching off lights.

Plant more trees

How will it help? It’s simple. Trees and plants absorb carbon dioxide and give out oxygen during the day, so they will give you more fresh air. And it’s not hard to plant trees—all it takes is for you to dust off your trusty trowel and start digging.
Any other benefits? Planting trees or growing more plants (if you haven’t got space for a tree) will add more color and warmth to your small lawn or concrete balcony. Plus, all that digging and sweating is sure to help you lose some weight (or at least burn up some energy), and all for an excellent cause too.

Walk, ride a bike or take public transportation

How will it help? Every time you use a car, exhaust fumes are emitted. When gasoline or diesel burns, harmful chemicals such as nitrogen oxide, hydrocarbons, and carbon monoxide are released. So instead of taking the car out to the neighborhood shops, stop being lazy and use your God-given legs.
Any other benefits? Of course. Walking is good exercise. Riding a bike achieves the same purpose and also gives you a good workout. Taking the bus or train also saves you some money.

Reduce the pollution your car is causing

What can I do? If you must drive or use a car—and there will be times when you have to—here are some ways in which you can use your car more efficiently. Conduct regular check-ups on your car to ensure that it is still fuel-efficient. Car pooling with friends is also a great way of reducing the number of cars on the road. And if you’re considering buying a car, look for a small car rather than big, fuel-guzzling one, or try a hybrid or “green” car.
How will it help? Hybrid cars are still something new in Singapore, and they’re worth trying out. They’re more costly, but more environmentally friendly. If you drive a regular car, checking it regularly will optimize your gas usage and reduce gas emissions. Plus, unless you have five kids, ask yourself if it’s necessary to drive a hulking SUV that sucks up gas. Smaller cars look cute, have better gas mileage, and are way easier to park in our small parking lots and congested streets.
Any other benefits? You save fuel and money. Enough said.

Stop smoking

How will it help? It’s pretty obvious that smoking like a chimney pollutes the air faster than you can say “haze.” Pollution from cigarette smoke even has a name—scientists call this type of air pollution “Environmental Tobacco Smoke” (ETS). Cigarette smoke contains over 4,000 different chemicals, of which at least 400 are poisonous. About 40 can cause cancer. These are present in both first and second hand smoke.
Any other benefits? You bet. Kick the habit and you’ll be healthier, save money, look younger, and, hey, smell better too. And, as every smoker knows, you’ll reduce your chances of contracting nasty diseases like lung cancer, heart and lung disease, blood vessel disease, and more. You shouldn’t put non-smokers at risk either. You know the drill.

Don’t crash and burn

How will it help? Okay, you just broke up with your better half and want to burn his or her photographs and stuff to a charred mess in a huge bonfire. But there are other ways to vent your frustration. Use some energy and shred his or her photos manually (and savagely). Or just throw them away. (On a different note, barbeque lovers should also stop engaging in their favorite activity so much. Gas grill, anyone?)
Any other benefits? Are you kidding? You just broke up with someone. You’re feeling lousy—the last thing you need is blackened lungs from all that smoke and soot! A bonfire is messy to clear up anyway. Spare a thought for the environment—and your lungs.

Stop farting

How will it help? If you go easy on the beans and onions and don’t let rip, everyone will be sniffing more pleasant air and not turning blue in the face from your toxic emissions.
Any other benefits? Er, you’ll be more popular? Oh, and you’ll get cleaner, more sweet-smelling air.