The words feng shui are often bantered around, but what do they really mean and how are they relevant to us? We picked the brain of feng shui consultant Sean Lui to find out some of the basic principles to maximizing this ancient wisdom for a prosperous Year of the Dog.

Hocus Pocus

To the modern person, feng shui seems like a bit of mumbo jumbo peppered with scientific-sounding words like “direction” and “energy.” So what really is feng shui?

Lui describes it as a “harmonization of humans with their environment.” In other words, it is the science of how to bring humans into sync with their living areas. The theory goes that if you live in a hostile environment, this will encourage a negative energy that will affect five core areas of your life: Relationships, wealth, career, romance and health. Feng shui tries to address these hostilities by making your environment as positive as possible, and thus maximizes your chances of excelling in every aspect of your life.

Moving House

Your home is your retreat from work, stress and the general problems of the outside world, so in feng shui terms its important to try to harness as much positive energy as possible in this, one of your most pivotal living spaces.

According to Lui, from 2004-2023 the most positive directions for your home to be facing are north and south. This also goes for the position of your house in relation to the country’s entire geography as well so that, for instance, houses situated in Punggol or Sengkang are in lucky or positive positions. If your house faces a different direction, then using a formula involving your birth chart, a feng shui consultant can advise on special ornaments whose strategic positioning will deflect any undesirable energy.

In terms of the shape of your home, sharp cornered houses should be avoided. Lui says houses should always be squarish or rectangular with no missing corner.

And, if you can help it, it’s best to avoid being located near places of religion such as churches or mosques. This is because the energy emitted from these localities is complicated: People usually attend places of worship because they have difficult problems they are seeking to solve, so a lot of negative energy is emitted. All this will naturally affect the properties around the source.

Open Communication

The lounge is a room for resting and relaxing, so it should feel like an environment conducive to these activities. More importantly, it is the primary place where family members communicate with one another, so it is especially important to ensure that people feel comfortable here. Lui suggests that the best way to ensure this result is to look at what elements are favorable to the home’s owner (according to his or her birth chart). For instance, if water is a favorable element, then lots of soft blues can be used in the room, or an aquarium-like environment can be created to help build positive energy.

It’s important that a lounge does not face any sharp point (such as the corner of another building), which is a “poison arrow” in feng shui terms. If you can’t help it, then the best way to counteract this negative chi (energy) is to put tall leafy plants in front of the window facing the arrow. Lui says leaves are the most effective way to minimize or slow down negative energy.

Sweet Dreams

The bedroom is a place of rest, so this should be its focus. If there are other focal points in the bedroom, then a person will be distracted from his or her main objective (sleep) and the area won’t be conducive to a good night’s rest.

Lui recommends that the bed should face the direction of the female (not male) owner’s most positive direction, as determined by her birth chart. If this is physically impossible, then feng shui will use more creative means to do so. For instance, if the owner’s direction is west, which represents metal, then bed linen with metallic elements or even metallic colors (such as gold or silver) can be used to replicate the effects of facing west.

Having mirrors around the bed might be kinky, but it’s certainly not feng shui savvy. You should not be able to see yourself in the mirror while you are lying down in bed. The logic behind this is that sleep is when the body recycles its bad energy and replaces it with good. A mirror will just bounce your bad energy right back. But ordinary logic plays an important part as well. When you’re vulnerable in the middle of the night, the last thing you want is to startle yourself with your mirror image.

But the biggest no-no is to position your bed with your feet facing the door. This has long been regarded as the position for corpses, not those of us still alive and kicking.

Working the Office

In this time of open plan offices, it’s a bit difficult to pick and choose your desk position, but luckily Lui says this isn’t a problem. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all bad if your back faces an open space. Just don’t have your back face an entrance. What Lui says here really makes sense: If your back is facing a door or entrance, then you’ll be distracted all day as people come and go. This affects your behavior, and therefore your ability to work effectively.

We’ve all seen the water features, crystals and various other gadgets that are touted as encouraging good energy. A guy should put such objects on his left side, while a girl should have all positive decorations on the right side of her desk.

And if you’re worried about which direction your computer should face, that can be determined for you by consulting a feng shui practitioner and your birth chart.

Chinese Whispers

Rumor has it that when our country was in its infancy, several feng shui masters were consulted about how feng shui could help ensure national economic prosperity. The masters advised that every Singaporean should carry an octagram to encourage wealth. Our leaders pondered how they could ensure every Singaporean would do this, and came up with an ingenious plan. Most of our currency was adorned with a octagram, thus guaranteeing that almost every person would be carrying the lucky symbol around with him at all times.

Under the Hood

To know what you need to do to make feng shui an active part of your life, the first step is to consult a feng shui practitioner or consultant to figure out your birth chart. This ancient theory of formulas works by examining the solar date on which you are born. A feng shui consultant can, using a series of very complicated formulas, calculate and forecast what is best for you.

The Romans and the Israelites, East versus West, good against evil, the old and the new—mankind seems to have been born to fight and disagree. But lately the cause seems to be less important than the result. Jilted by your lover? In Singapore, one man thought it was OK to gouge his ex’s eyes out. Caught in a traffic jam? Road rage is all the rage. And if the maid is giving you grief? A good scalding seems to have become the norm.

Violence, threats, screaming and lawsuits may be some ways to deal with an argument, but there are better alternatives to handle differences of opinion that won’t leave you in even deeper trouble—although at the time it might seem impossible. I-S spoke to six experts for their advice on how to handle nine of the most common areas for dispute. Take the boxing gloves off and read how.

ROAD RAGE

You’re signaling to cross into the other lane, but a car next to you keeps speeding up to cut you off. You honk your horn, he gives you the finger before slowing down suddenly, causing you to hit his rear bumper and smash his tail lights.

THE LAWYER: Rajan Chettiar, solicitor at Rajan Chettiar & Co., says: “This is a typical incident on the roads in Singapore. I would advise that both drivers pull to the side and reach an amicable agreement. An amicable solution would be to acknowledge that the other party who caused the accident was in the wrong. Each party bears their costs of the damage to their own vehicles.” 

THE SHRINK: Dr. Vanessa San, a psychologist with Psycare Consultants, suggests: “Was it really all his fault? Or were you negligent in some way? Pull over and talk to him. Explain your situation calmly; that you unintentionally hit him; why you were honking (trying to make him aware you were changing lanes?). If he still blames the whole situation on you and insists you pay the full amount for the damage, he may be justified in doing so. Apologize, pay up, and cut your losses. Learn to be more careful of unreasonable drivers in the future. If you have reason to disagree, stay calm, explain your position, and make a police report.”

THE COPS: Spokesman Stanley Norbert of the Singapore Police Force Public Affairs Department, has this to say: “The police take a serious view of road bullying. We appeal to all road users—motorists and pedestrians alike—to be alert, patient and courteous on the roads. Should the public encounter any road bullies, we would like to offer the following advice:
• Remain calm and collected at all times. Do not further agitate the road bully with exaggerated gestures, expressions or behavior.
• Do not engage in a face-to-face confrontation with the road bully.
• Note down the vehicle number of the road bully and file a report with the police so that we can take the necessary action.
• If confronted by the road bully, call ‘999’. Remain in your vehicle and secure the doors while waiting for assistance.

FREE-LOADING BEST FRIEND

Your best mate from university is in town and wants to sleep on your sofa for three weeks and party nonstop like its 1999 … again.

THE GURU: Rag Maini, director of Sacred Space, a holistic hub offering yoga, meditation and tarot card readings, has this to offer: “Give the excuse that boy/girlfriend or husband/wife does not like friends staying over, has a habit of walking around naked, and likes his/her privacy. Try to make alternate plans to meet best friend everyday for the three weeks outside for coffee, tea, movies, dinners.”

THE SHRINK: “Know thyself. If you know that it’s probably going to drive you up the wall because you sleep at 9pm every night and need order and personal space, then obviously it will not be good for your friendship if she stays. Consider the friendship; how important is this to her? Will it ruin the friendship if you say she can’t stay? Are there other options or friends she could stay with part of the time? If you know you really cannot put her up, explain the situation in terms of YOUR need for quiet, privacy, order, no disturbance. Be prepared to bite the bullet and accept that it may offend and affect the friendship. If you decide to let her stay, talk to her nicely and set house rules, such as not bringing friends home, no smoking inside, quiet after 10pm on weekdays, and please, no hanky panky on your sofa.”

PUSHY PARENTS

As usual, your father is offering unsolicited advice about your plans to drop out of a career in law to become a film director. This time he is threatening to cut you out of his will (and the family fortune).

THE MONK: Gen Kelsang Wangchog, resident teacher at Odiyana Buddhist Meditation Society (who is teaching a course on overcoming anger in February) suggests: “You should remember that your father loves you very much, and strongly wishes for you to have protection and safety in this uncertain world. He is merely expressing his view on how—in his opinion—you would be best protected. You don’t have to follow his advice, you have the right to choose your own path, but it would be unfair of you to hurt him with words of anger. Accept your father’s view on this, and not try to change him. (Anyway, who ever did exactly what their parents wanted them to do?!)”

THE LAWYER: “I would advise you to keep quiet. Wait for your father to calm down. Approach him a couple of days later. Impress upon him why you prefer to be a film director. Highlight to your father the cons of being a lawyer in Singapore and highlight to him that you are an unhappy and discontented lawyer who is likely to drop out of law within the next three years of practice. Tell him success stories of law students, like Kelvin Tong, who have done well for themselves by dropping out of law and becoming film directors. Appeal to your father’s senses and he will realize that you have given a lot of thought to this and are very serious about it. It may be helpful for you to inform your father of your future concrete plans as a film director. You may have to do this in a few sessions. I would advise the father to be patient.”

THE SHRINK: “How sure are you of your career switch? Have you done enough research/thinking regarding both career paths? If you are sure, talk to him again and give your reasons for the change. Show that it is a carefully thought through decision. Draw out a career plan. Show that you will be able to support yourself and give some proof that you will have opportunities. If there is still disagreement, work out an arrangement by which you can start by going part-time in both first to ease him into the idea. Or say you just need a break from law, it’s probably temporary, and you are just trying something new. If that fails, you are still sure, and he’s still threatening, go ahead—it’s your life. Accept his anger. He is of a different mindset, and aggression towards him will do you no good. Don’t burn your bridges—he might soften when he sees you successful in your new career and change his mind!”

CRAZY PARTNER

You tell your boyfriend/girlfriend you need a cooling off period from the relationship but he/she doesn’t take it well and instead begins following you and hangs a dead rat from your front door with a note “things are going to get hotter not colder.”

THE GURU: “As there is still love in the air, buy a healing session for boy/girlfriend giving the excuse that it is good for each other to go for healing. The healer must be wise to explain the karmic effects of doing things like hanging a dead rat. Hopefully, after the healing and wise words from the healer, you can talk things out so as to remain friends rather than enemies with bad karma.”

THE SHRINK: “It seems he/she may have read your ‘cooling off’ as ‘breaking up’ and is desperate or out for revenge. But even if you did just mean cool off, he/she has disrespected your boundaries and seems highly unstable to threaten you in this way. Realize that he/she may be extremely fragile and vulnerable. Talk to him/her and politely request he/she respect your need for space, and to not repeat such behavior. If he/she takes an offensive attitude, the best thing you can do is nothing. Maintain your ‘cooling off’ status. Protect yourself. If you feel in danger, tell a friend/parent/relative and have them stay with you or stay with them for a while. If he/she persists with nasty behavior, make a police report. As a side note, are you sure you want to be with this person at all?! You may want to consider ending the relationship, rather than put up with such behavior in the long run.”

THE COPS: “For parties involved in a dispute, we would encourage them to resolve the matter amicably or have it mediated by the court. Members of the public involved in a dispute are advised not to take the law into their own hands. Where an act of harassment disturbs the general peace of the neighborhood, police may investigate and persons found using threatening, abusive or insulting words or behavior, or displaying any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting, thereby causing harassment, alarm or distress, can face a fine of up to S$5,000.”

MAID ABUSE

Despite telling her repeatedly not to, your new maid puts your expensive designer dress into the washing machine where the colors run—and then dries it until it’s Barbie-size—this is the third time! You tell her you’re returning her to the maid agency; she threatens to jump out the window.

THE COMMUNICATOR: Laureli Blyth, director of Training and Research at the Australasian Institute of Neuro-Linguistic Programming says: “In a normal tone of voice that is friendly, praise her work so far, how well she cleans for example. Ask her if she has something that is fragile and valuable—something she takes special care of—and ask her how she’d feel if someone treated it without being delicate. Show her how to launder and dry one piece, then have her show you how she will duplicate the process. Then give her more praise. Make sure you do this in a normal calm voice and, if appropriate, pat her shoulder to solidify the message.”

THE MONK: “There is a famous Buddhist quote that summarizes the practice of patient acceptance: ‘If a problem can be remedied, why become unhappy? And if there is no remedy, there is still no point in becoming unhappy.’ Here, you have a choice: Either you fire the maid, and learn nothing (and who is to say the next maid will come free of all problems?), or you take the time to be patient, explain out of kindness her error, and accept that she is human, makes mistakes and give her another opportunity. In this way, the maid becomes your practice of patience. How wonderful it is to have such a kind maid, teaching you patient acceptance in this way!”

THE CLUELESS BOSS

A hot new job opens up in the company and even though you’re perfect for it you’re overlooked for the position in favor of the smarmy new guy.

THE GURU: “Of course anyone will get angry and feel cheated, but psyche yourself and think maybe my guardian angel is protecting me from a) being overworked; b) protecting me from facing conflicts with friends I have [up to now] been working harmoniously with; c) the pressure of the new status; or d) the most likely, that this is not my rice bowl, even though I deserve the position. There could be something else for me in the future that will make full use of my potential! If the newbie got the job ... then it is his Good Karma so wish him well.”

THE COMMUNICATOR: “Let the boss know you are disappointed, but not discouraged. The worst thing you could do is to get angry and ‘show them’ how you feel. Find out how you can be seriously considered for future promotions or hot jobs. Ask for more responsibility and let the boss see your results. It’s important to keep your disappointment to yourself, not let everyone know how wronged you feel. Act the part of the hottest employee and you’ll soon have the next hot job.”

THE MONK: “We all need to learn to be flexible—and adapt to life’s adversities. Adaptation is the art of survival! A powerful way to view this situation is to remember to say this to yourself: ‘Who is to say that the new job would have brought me a happier life? On the contrary, it will have brought with it a new set of problems. How wonderful that I am now free from the new set of problems I would have encountered if I had been given the job!’.”

VINDICTIVE CO-WORKERS

A presentation to a major client tanked and now the team leader is pointing fingers saying your stats and info let the side down—who’s responsible?

THE SHRINK: “Keep your cool and don’t say anything that might aggravate the situation. If you know you haven’t pulled your weight, swallow your pride, talk to her and apologize for letting the team down. Make sure it never happens again. If you felt that it was unjustified, talk to her and find out why she thinks it’s your fault. Clear up misconceptions, ask her what she thinks you could have done better, and how to improve in the future. If what she says is reasonable, take it as a learning experience. If not, keep your cool. See if it happens again. If it does, see if there’s another senior you can talk to. If the situation doesn’t improve, you may want to look for another job or request a transfer to another team.”

THE COMMUNICATOR: “Keep your calm and hold your head up high. Tell them your stats and info provided are what was requested. Remind the leader that it is a ‘team’ effort. Perhaps suggest a brainstorming session for ways to make improvements as a group for future presentations so all could benefit. Keep your feelings and comments to yourself about how you really feel, as this will lead to you being the target for any future finger pointing.”

THE GURU: “Cool yourself down and visualize that everybody involved is willing to listen to your explanation positively. Call for a meeting with all those involved in the project and the one pointing the finger to explain how you got the stats. If, at the end of it, they still think that you are responsible, accept responsibility and apologize. There’s no harm in apologizing to cool things off.”

NOISY NEIGHBORS

Every night the neighbors crank up the volume for their nightly karaoke sessions of Cantopop, which last until 11pm. Your anonymous letters for peace and quiet are not working!

THE MONK: “First try to accept the situation by practising patience, and if you are totally unable to, then with a calm and peaceful mind, kindly ask them to reduce the noise. Getting angry and displaying our temper to them will certainly not solve the situation in the long-term, since resentment will exist for many years between you and the neighbors, and even if you did blow out at them, you would find it hard to sleep anyway with an angry mind. It is always possible to be patient—even when attempting to solve a situation.”

THE LAWYER: “Approach the neighbors and highlight the problem to them. Explain the effect of their actions on you and your family. Ask them to be considerate and turn down the volume or finish their sessions by a reasonable time, say 9pm. Ask them how they would feel if they were in your position. Finally tell them politely that if this matter persists, you will have no choice but to commence legal action against them.”

THE COPS: “Again, it’s worth repeating that where an act of harassment disturbs the general peace of the neighborhood, police may investigate and persons found using threatening, abusive or insulting words or behavior, or displaying any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting, thereby causing harassment, alarm or distress, can face a fine of up to S$5,000.”

GREEDY LANDLORD

You’re due to renew your flat’s lease next month, now the landlord has just upped the rent by 50 percent with no warning.

THE LAWYER: “Check the tenancy agreement as to whether the landlord is entitled to do so. Usually, they have the right to do so and it would be reflected in the tenancy agreement. Even so, you can still negotiate with your landlord not to increase the rent by 50 percent. Counterpropose a figure or propose that the rental hike takes effect on a future date. If the landlord does not agree, you have no choice but to agree to his terms or give notice of your intention to quit. This may make your landlord think twice.” 

THE COMMUNICATOR: “Make an appointment to see the landlord to discuss the lease terms. Find out the purpose for the huge increase and let them know your intention to be a responsible, long-term tenant. Keep your cool, don’t let it become personal. Determine if there is a possibility to negotiate and if so, make an offer; if not be prepared to move.”

THE GURU: “Try to negotiate. If the landlord is handy then get the agent who got the place for you to talk to the landlord, showing him records that you have been a good tenant, paying rent on time and have been looking after the property. Tell them that it will take some time before someone takes the unit over and there is the possibility of new tenants not paying the rent on time thus causing loss of income. If all fails, even to bring the increase down, look for another place soon and just let go.”

A THIRD PARTY

Solicitor Rajan Chettiar also offers this piece of advice: “As a backgrounder, negotiation and mediation are common and popular alternative dispute resolution methods used by lawyers and the Courts to resolve minor conflicts and problems. The advantage of this system is that it creates win-win solutions for the parties, maintains the relationship between the parties, and saves time and legal costs for both parties. These methods can be effectively used by litigants with the help of lawyers without filing a case in the Courts. For these methods to work, each party must be reasonable/willing to negotiate and must possess the correct mindset to give and take so as to reach an amicable settlement. Parties have to put their interests forward and reach a common position which is acceptable to both parties. Again, negotiation and mediation may be only effective after parties have gone through a few rounds. The tone of language/mood, behavior and body language of parties are important in the mediation/negotiation process.”
Community Mediation Centre (Subordinate Courts): #01-13 The URA Centre, East Wing, 45 Maxwell Rd., 6325-1600, mlaw_hq_cmc@mlaw.gov.sg, www.minlaw.gov.sg/cmc
Singapore Mediation Centre: Level 4, 1 Supreme Court Lane, 6332-4366, enquiries@mediation.com.sg, www.mediation.com.sg

Even as the club and bar scene hots up like never before, a new option has sailed in to tempt partymakers looking for new territory, boats. Gentle sea breezes, gorgeous sunsets and the tranquility of the ocean are definitely a lure. If you want to take off and organize a party on the high seas, check out these boats. There’s something for the mild and the wild and the super rich.

For the Mild

If you’re a party cynic who is sick of garish lights, smoky pubs and having to shout above earsplitting music, take a peek at these boats. These leisure crafts are small and comfy, making them ideal for casual and intimate get-togethers with a few buddies or family members. Accompanied by qualified skippers and professional crew, your party is certain to go smoothly.

Privately owned yachts such as Rising Tide, N’Joy and Bella Rose are available for charter from SAF Yacht Club (110 Tanah Merah Coast Rd., 6389-3750), and they are definitely worth checking out. Rising Tide is an 80-foot yacht that can carry up to 20 passengers, whereas N’ Joy and Bella Rose are 36 feet and can take up to 10 persons. These cozy boats sail to destinations such as Sentosa and the southern islands of Singapore.

Boats, Boats and Boats Services (33 Tuas Rd., 6861-6965/6861-5377) has a 48-foot motor cruiser Dreams that can accommodate up to 12 passengers. Make full use of its karaoke facilities and sing to your heart’s content. Urbanites who can’t survive without their daily dose of television programs will be glad to know that Dreams’ luxurious lounge area hosts a television and a VCD player. We recommend you watch Titanic and croon to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” just for kicks.

Sporting two barbeque pits and a spacious sun deck, Dreams allows bikini babes to get a tan and worry about their figures while the rest gorge themselves with tasty hotdogs, chicken wings and prawns. Sip wine, fish, and chill out to the sunset while the boat sails to Johore Straits or to one of Singapore’s offshore islands such as Pulau Hantu, Sisters’ Island and Kusu Island. Customized programs and cruises are available too. Bring your own alcohol.

For the Wild

If quiet barbeques and soothing music bore you to sleep, and you prefer some insane merrymaking, check out these ships. Packed with lots of facilities, these mean leisure crafts are perfect for throwing some wet and wild parties.

Fantasy, Harbour Queen and the Chinese junk boat are three popular ships that you can charter from Singapore River Cruise (#15-06 High Street Centre,
1 North Bridge Rd., 6336-6111/6336-6119). Accompanied by three lounges and a fully equipped galley, the 95-foot yacht Fantasy can accommodate up to 60 guests. Individuals seeking that adrenalin rush can check out its sea sport, diving and fishing equipment.

About 100 passengers can indulge in some crazy revelry on board the 118-foot Harbour Queen. Besides the usual karaoke facilities, this ship also has a dance floor for party goers, and it has seen some wild partying action, like the two parties The Butter Factory organized in September and December last year.

If you are intending to organize some thrilling performances to entertain your guests, the Chinese junk boat will do the trick. This exotic boat that can hold up to 130 people is blessed with a small stage for strollers lusting for a little fame. Customize your own party with the different menus that Singapore River Cruise offers. From Japanese food to Thai cuisine, there is something to satisfy every discerning taste bud. Different activities such as mahjong sessions, card games and foam parties can be arranged too.

For a really extravagant party, sail with Silolona (#04-03 Wilmer House, 1 Thomas Walk, 6887-4337). This lavish traditional teak sailing ship built recently in Borneo travels along the ancient spice routes. From December to March, it travels to Malaysia, Thailand and Myanmar, whereas April to November, Silolona goes to Indonesia. Diving, snorkeling, fishing and cultural trips can be arranged. Pretend you are one of the old merchants searching for spices and indulge in some luxurious old world romance.

Star Cruises (#11-08 Park Mall, 9 Penang Rd., 6223-0002) isn’t chartering out any ship for raves, but we thought every clubber should look out for its coming cruise parties. If its previous cruise parties are anything to go by, its upcoming parties should be hot. Sizzling live acts Electrico, Astreal and Surreal rocked the enormous SuperStar Virgo in a series of two-night cruise parties last October. Top notch local and international jocks such as Chris Ho, Akira, Don, Ashidiq, Leonard T and Fono also graced its decks and played lush and sensational tunes that kept the dance floor moving all night.

Besides great music, there was eye candy for the fashionistas too at last year’s parties. Groovy clubbing gear by TopShop and Oppt was paraded in a fashion show that received lots of thumbs ups. Star Cruises also arranged for massage services for clubbers on board to sooth their tired muscles before they hit the dance floor again. Armed with a swimming pool, a library, gyms, Jacuzzis and restaurants boasting different cuisines, this 2,000-passenger monster is impressive. The parties that it will host this year look set to be no less spectacular.

Partying is no longer just the terrain of clubs, pubs and bars. With the increase in party goers taking to the seas, our nightlife can only get more exciting.

Some gals like to do it every few weeks, but for most of us the concept of a full Brazilian wax is a little daunting (although strangely intriguing). And the idea of a Boyzilian, where they go full sack, back and crack? Forget it. To get to the root of the issue, we sent two virgin guinea pigs (anonymously) to STRIP Co-Ed to have a “Triple X” treatment and get (almost) everything taken off.

THE BRAZILIAN (THE GIRLS)

So how was it having someone poke around down there?
The staff were great; they were calm and collected when dealing with my nerves, and their sense of humor really helped too, their professionalism was faultless. Plus she was fast; it was over in 30 minutes.

Can you wear underwear during the process?
No. Not for a Triple X Brazilian.

Is there any strange or acrobatic position you have to be in for a successful strip?
I was basically spread eagle.

What was it like when the first strip was pulled? Does it get easier or does the pain just build up?
Like “aagh!” No, each strip is just a moment of shock, disbelief and sting.

What is worse: The pain, the hot wax or the discomfort of the stickiness?
The pain is in the ripping out of the hairs. The wax is not hot, just warm.

On a scale of 1-10 (10 being natural childbirth), how would you rate the pain?
For some areas it’s just a six, for the more delicate areas it’s an eight.

Does the pain last after the treatment or is it just at the moment of extraction?
The pain is very temporary.

Did they poke into every crevice and separate any cheeks?
Yes, if you’re going for the Triple X or the “Full Monty,” be prepared to be poked and “separated.”

What was it like immediately afterwards? Could you walk and sit down, jump and dance?
I was fine, but sex and swimming were not options.

Was there any annoying after effect, like swelling, burning or itching?
Some rawness. I looked like a plucked chicken. I felt very “bare” afterwards.

How long did it take for your skin to return to normal?
A full 24 hours.

Does it make you feel sexier?
The smoothness is nice, but I didn’t like looking at myself in the mirror—I look too “exposed.” I prefer the air of mystery some bush provides.

Did it improve sex?
I did enjoy the “cleanliness” provided.

How was the regrowth process?
No problem, although the look is a bit mangy. It began resprouting within nine days.

Will you succumb to a waxing again?
I would do the Single X wax next time, but not the Triple X. It’s too in ya face for me.

THE BOYZILIAN (THE BOYS)

So how was it having someone poke around down there?
The staff were good humored, knowledgeable and professional, making me feel comfortable and in good hands.

Can you wear underwear during the process?
No, it’s just me and my birthday suit.

Is there any strange or acrobatic position you have to be in for a successful strip?
When they waxed my scrotum and crack. I had to hike my knees up to my chest, clasp my ankles, and bare all.

What was it like when the first strip was pulled? Does it get easier or does the pain just build up?
The first strip feels like multiple ant bites, small sharp stings, then a numbing sensation.

What is worse: The pain, the hot wax or discomfort of the stickiness?
It was a toss up between the pain and the hot wax. At times the wax was too hot, thus adding to the discomfort when stripping.

On a scale of 1-10 (10 being kicked in the nuts), how would you rate the pain?
Four (having a one-year-old stand on your nuts).

Does the pain last after the treatment or is it just at the moment of extraction?
The sharp pain does not stay for long. It’s the swelling of the skin that stays.

Did they poke into every crevice and separate any cheeks?
Yes, and you have to lend a hand too.

What was it like immediately afterwards? Could you walk and sit down, jump and dance?
Sore and uncomfortable. Forget about having sex.

Was there any annoying after effect, like swelling, burning or itching?
There is slight swelling and discomfort.

How long did it take for your skin to return to normal?
About three days.

Does it make you feel sexier?
No, not really, but I feel braver for having tried it and it’s kind of nice to be smooth again.

Did it improve sex?
“Somewhat” would be the most honest answer, but it’s psychological and not sensational.

How was the regrowth process?
Hair regrowth was normal, but new follicles returned within a week, so if you take into account the pain, it’s hardly worth the effort.

Will you succumb to a waxing again?
No. Only once for the experience, thank you. I’m not into S&M.

From The Lips of The Experts

So is there a way to ease the pain but still achieve that smooth finish? Strip therapist Phau Lee Lan recommends that your pubes should be at least 0.5 cm long for the best results. There’s no special underwear you should don for your appointment, but just don’t plan to do any sun tanning or go to the sauna afterwards, as the area will be vulnerable for at least 24 hours. For best results, Phau suggests waxing should be done monthly.

Cut the Carbs

Myth: Taking carbohydrates out of your diet is a healthy way to lose weight.
Verdict: False.

Carbohydrates provide about 50-60 percent of the body’s energy calories, so a drastic reduction in carbohydrate intake means the thyroid slows down, decreasing metabolism and the body’s ability to break down fats and carbohydrates. Henson notes this can be detrimental to attempts to lose weight.

In fact, some carbohydrates are good for you. Complex carbohydrates (such as whole grains, nuts, seeds, oats, brown pastas and brown rice) break down gradually, providing short bursts of energy throughout the day, meaning they take longer to add themselves to your beer gut. Henson says: “Complex carbohydrates are the body’s preferred source of energy and consuming enough of them is necessary to ensure the proper digestion of protein to later provide muscle-nourishing nitrogen.”

In comparison, simple carbohydrates (such as anything made from refined white flour, including white pastas and white rice) just add to your weight because they don’t need to be broken down.

But it all depends on just how you eat carbohydrates and how many you eat. Tan explains: “All basic foods are generally good. For example, rice, white or brown, is good. But when we fry it with a lot of oil or butter and add it to fatty meat, we make it bad. Similarly, potatoes are good. But when we turn them into potato chips, we make them bad.”

Intake is also important. Both Henson and Tan agree that the optimal carbohydrate intake is five to six serves per day, throughout the day. Each serve size should be no bigger than a clenched fist. This doesn’t mean you can use your meathead friend’s fist to justify a big bowl of mashed spud. “It’s different for different people because everyone has different sized fists,” says Henson.

And don’t forget: If you cut out carbs, you’ll have to put something else in, and fatty foods are often the unfortunate alternative.

Walking It Off

Myth: Walking burns more fat than running.
Verdict: True.

The most productive form of fat burning exercise is that which keeps your heart rate in the fat burning zone for the longest. According to Henson, this means that is it not necessarily the intensity of the exercise that’s important, but the amount of time we can keep our heart at the ideal fat-burning heart rate. So if you’re unfit, then running around the block twice for 10 minutes might knock the hell out of you, but a less intense 20-minute walk might maintain your heart rate for longer, bringing about better results. It all depends on the individual and how much work you need to do to give your heart a good cardio workout.

Stretching Out

Myth: Flexibility indicates fitness.
Verdict: True.

If you’ve had joint pain after a long flight, you’ll know that moving your joints is important. Chung argues that flexibility is an indication of health and fitness because it’s a demonstration of the health of the parts of your body that move your joints: Your muscles, tendons, ligaments and connective tissues. Exercising the joints gets the blood pumping, another important consideration. “Blood flow brings nutrients, oxygen, and carries off toxins,” Chung advises.

Hide From the Hawker

Myth: All hawker food is unhealthy and fattening.
Verdict: False.

Tan cautions that when eating hawker food, we must be discriminating about what we eat and how we eat it. “Go for less oily, less salty, less sweet and less flour-coated foods,” she warns.

So, while not all hawker food is bad, that doesn’t mean you should grab the next plate of carrot cake you see. Tan spoon-fed us some tips on how to handle that tempting hawker fare:

• Fried noodles and yong tau foo should be eaten less often. But if you really can’t help yourself, at least buy a smaller portion.
• Curry laksa is another one to avoid, but if you’ve ordered it, then leave the gravy behind rather than polishing off the whole bowl.
• Eat less of the rice in your chicken rice order or ask for plain rice. On top of that, don’t eat the chicken skin and add some vegetables to the dish.
• When ordering dry noodles, ask for no oil.

Overall, the best way to make hawker food healthier is to encourage hawkers to modify their recipes by choosing healthier options.

Do You Measure Up

Myth: BMI is an indicator of ideal weight and fitness.
Verdict: The jury’s out.

BMI (Body Mass Index) is simply a formula that tells you if you are over- or under-weight according to your height. It is calculated by dividing your body weight in kilograms by the square of your height in meters. Don’t get it? Try: Body weight (kg) ÷ [Height (m) x Height (m)]. The healthy range for Asians is 18.5-23.

So if your BMI is higher than average, does that mean you’re unfit and fat? Our experts were unable to agree on this. Tan acknowledges that there is no ideal weight, but sees BMI as “a good measure of healthy weight range. It does not necessarily indicate fitness, but it indicates health and or disease risks.”

Henson disagrees. “I find it [BMI] highly inaccurate,” he says. For instance, Henson contends that it does not apply to really active individuals. “Take a 90 kg athlete with a fat percentage of eight percent and a height of 1.73 m—a BMI of 30.1. According to this formula, he would be considered obese.” Henson suggests a different formula: The waist-to-hip ratio test. “Simple. The waist should be smaller than the hips. If not, you are overweight.”

Work Those Muscles

Yoga giant Pure Yoga (#18-00 Ngee Ann City, 391 Orchard Rd., 6733-8863) has arrived from Hong Kong. This studio is part of its plan to expand all over Asia, offering classes in yin yoga, yoga dance, hot yoga, hatha yoga and ashtanga vinyasa. Its teachers are from all around the world, and you’ll appreciate the finer touches here: Padlocks are provided, classes can be booked up to two days ahead either over the phone or online, and there are plenty of relaxation lounges where you can chill out with a good book if you’re a little early for your class.

Machine Powered

If you prefer to stretch and strengthen with machine precision, then Sky Pilates (#05-03 Liat Towers, 541 Orchard Rd., 6100-7597) has also arrived. It has brand spanking new machines, and its classes allow you to use almost the full array of pilates equipment—from the reformer machines to the ladder barrel to the wunder chair to the Cadillac. Because these super high tech reformers have a tower built in, you’ll be exposed to about 80 percent of the equipment, rather than the usual restrictions you find in group classes. There’s even a gyrotonic pulley tower if you want something different.

Run Away

If you like the feel of the wind in your hair while your feet pound the pavement, then you’ll be pleased to know that Running Lab (#03-20 Funan DigitaLife Mall, 109 North Bridge Rd., 6336-6775) has opened a store dedicated to running. There are running accessories like NATHAN hydration systems and Ingenious double-layer sports socks. Running Lab suggests that you bring your old runners in with you when you want to buy a new pair so that its staff can best tell what will suit your running style and feet. There’s even a treadmill for you to try out your new shoes before you buy.