In a city seemingly dominated by emasculated metrosexuals, it seems that Singaporean men have forgotten what it means to embrace their gentlemanly side. By gentlemen, we don’t mean walking around in penguin-tuxedos; we mean sharply dressed men who follow social decorum, walk on the curb-side of the street when they’re with a woman, hold the door open, not gaze longingly into the mirror at their own reflection in public, and generally act like civilized individuals. If you want to gain the respect of others and the admiration of women, this guide on how to be a gentleman will help.

LOOK THE PART

How to Get a Damn Good Suit
Suits: The essential piece in a gentleman’s sartorial arsenal. The suit is what the LBD is to womenfolk—it goes with everything. Banker Paul Ong knows a good suit when he sees one. “A well made suit educates you on the lessons of fit and cut, which are the really the basics of looking good. Clothes don't make a man, but clothes have gotten many a man a good job,” he says. According to the dapper banker, every man should have a minimum rotation of two suits—dark blue and/or black or grey. “Interchangeably, this combination is a viable option for most activities such as work, weddings or just dinner.“ He shares with us some tips on what to look out for in a suit:

The Fit
Pick the best type to accent your body type or shape and do not go for what you think is fashionable.

The Cut
Take note of the differences in styles and tailoring cuts—British, Italian and American cuts are all different, and they accentuate differently.

Belt Up Those Pants
When wearing a suit, wear your pants at the natural waist. This is one time when sagging does not work and will never be stylish. If you’re going to get a suit made, get a matching pair of pants done up as well.

No Off-The-Rack
Resist impulse buying for cheap suits on sale—just because it is branded doesn’t make up for the fact that it is a few sizes off.

How to Get a Great Shirt
A cornerstone in any gentleman’s wardrobe, a great shirt fits like a glove—it must flatter your bone structure, proportions and physique—while a not so good shirt, well, doesn’t. If you live to shop, you’ll know that some shirt labels are more equal than the rest and that going bespoke is well worth the money spent. We consulted Chong Han San of local bespoke menswear label Clothesmith, to give us the lowdown on how to get a great shirt:

Fabric
This is the most fundamental aspect of a good shirt. Choose 100 percent cotton, especially shirts made with Egyptian or Sea-Island cotton which will determine the drape and flow of the shirt. Avoid those cheap polyester-mix shirting materials which give off a cheap “plasticky sheen.”

Collars
Collars are like the picture frame with your face as the main focus. They can help to balance your face shape and draw attention to it. If you have a narrow face shape, go for a Continental or Cutaway style collar which has wider spread. If you have a broad or round face, choose small spread collars to sharpen your facial shape.

Details
A proper men’s shirt should have details such as natural shell or Mother-of-Pearl buttons; French seam finished at the shirt side seam and sleeves; and firm collars and cuffs that don’t wear off or bubble after washes.

Go Bespoke
A real gentleman will go for a customized shirt as he understands it differentiates him from the rest when he presents himself in a personally molded fit. A bespoke shirt will also represent the men personality by his choice of fabrics, details and cut.

Suit Up

• Clothesmith, 55B Boat Quay, 6533-5054
• Dunhill Custom, #01‑42/F Paragon, 290 Orchard Rd., 6734‑8126
• Kevin Seah Bespoke, #03-01, 65 Killiney Rd., [email protected]
• Shanghai Tang Imperial Tailoring Service, #B1-12 The Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands, 2 Bayfront Ave., 6688-7180
   

ACT THE PART

“Being a gentleman not only involves dressing well, it is also about how you behave and act,” says fashion stylist and personal shopper Mishima Taoki of Nakame Style (#02-02 Mohamed Sultan Rd., 9655-8237). Some basic good manners will go a long way in helping you during your ascent to the higher echelons of manhood. Here are a few hard and fast rules to live by:

• A gentleman is always ready to offer a hearty and firm handshake. No limp wristed shakes please.
• A gentleman always has a big umbrella to hand.
• A gentleman arrives at meetings on time, if not early.
• A gentleman always admits when he is wrong.
• A gentleman never asks about the guy before him.
• A gentleman does not curse. It shows that you lack the vocabulary to express your displeasure. It is also rude.
• A gentleman does not stare.
• A gentleman always opens the door for the lady. This is the most basic and easiest rule to follow. If you break this rule, start reading this story all over.
• A gentleman never picks a fight.

How to Fix a Gentleman’s Cocktail
When you’re sick of beer, where do you turn for refreshment? A cocktail, of course. Contrary to popular belief, cocktails are not just for the fairer sex. “Cocktails were initially a man’s drink when they were invented back in the Prohibition era,” says mixologist Zainuddin Hassan of Bar Stories (2/F, 27A Haji Lane, 6298-0838).

Founded by owner Ethan Leong, this speakeasy-styled bar on Haji Lane serves up impeccably-mixed cocktails using top-shelf booze and fresh ingredients. “We’ve had several guys here who were at first hesitant in ordering a cocktail, but after a short lesson from us and some really ‘manly’ drinks, they’re now ‘cocktail converts,” quips Leong.

Even so, sipping on a drink that’s garnished with an umbrella is certainly not an option. What you need is something refreshing that packs a kick at the same time and will also beef up your gentlemaly reputation. Luckily for you, the Bar Stories team have shared with us just such a recipe.

Old Fashioned
What you need:

• 2 oz Bourbon whiskey
•  ½ oz simple syrup
• Angostura bitters
• 1 slice of orange wedge

How to prepare it:

1. Mix simple syrup, water and angostura bitters in an old-fashioned glass.
2. Pour in bourbon, fill with ice cubes and stir. Garnish with orange wedge. Enjoy.

How to Drink Whisky Like a Real Gentleman
There are a couple of ways to drink a whisky, the father of all gentlemen’s drinks—with a ball of ice, a splash of water or in a cocktail even. But if you want to drink like a real pro, here’s how:

1. Use the right vessel, like a Glencairn glass. The shape of the glass helps to concentrate the aroma of the whisky.
2. Admire the whisky’s color and nose it before you swallow.
3. When you sip, move it all around your mouth to detect different flavors; as it oxidizes, new flavors are brought out.
4. Drink your whiskies neat, a dash of water (spring water works best) opens up more flavors and aromas.
5. Try not to use ice as it “closes” the whisky, masking its complexity. Don’t warm it like brandy either.

Where to Load Up On a Wee Dram:

• La Maison Du Whisky
  #01-10 The Pier @ Robertson Quay, 80 Mohamed Sultan Rd., 6733-0059
• Malt Vault
  Basement, 12 Ann Siang Rd., 9026-3466
• Quaich Bar @ The Whisky Store
  #01-09/10, Waterfront Plaza, 390A Havelock Rd., 6732-3452

How to Defend Your Lady
The first rule of gentlemen’s fight club is, a gentleman never fights (see rules to left). But it’s a different matter if trouble comes looking for you when you’re with your lady. And it pays to be prepared. Ashikin Samat, an expert in the deadly art of Krav Maga, a self-defense and military hand-to-hand combat system developed in Israel knows what it’s like being helpless in a sticky situation. “I got mugged a while back and got roughed up pretty badly. After that incident, I vowed to learn self-defense as well as teach others about it, says Ashikin who teaches Krav Maga at Fightworks Asia (2/F, 1018 East Coast Parkway 6449-9821). “Most men, when confronted usually try to retaliate which I think is the stupidest thing to do. The manliest thing one can do is either to talk it out, back down or just leave,” he advises.

What to do if that doesn’t work? It all comes down to how you’re standing. First assume a neutral, non-aggressive stance (feet apart with one set behind you, arms partially extended just below head level with palms facing outward). This stance shows a gesture of appeasement and says that you’re not looking for any trouble. If you have to punch, punch the body or head. If you have to poke, poke the eyes; knee his groin or give a quick chop or jab to his neck. Then doff your hat, and make a speedy exit. The lady will thank you for it later.

And though streetfighting is hardly the stuff a true gent is made of, many consider traditional boxing to be a gentleman’s sport. If you decide to take things a step further (and impress a roomful of ladies in the process), there’s now huge interest in white collar boxing, with otherwise staid professionals training furiously for the chance to knock a fellow recruitment consultant’s head off. Vanda Boxing (#03-00 Ganges Centre, 554 Havelock Rd., 6305 2288) regularly organizes events, and can help you get in the shape of your life in time for fight night.

How to Open a Wine Bottle Without a Corkscrew
So you’re all set for that Sunday afternoon tête-à-tête with that special someone. You’ve spent the whole morning preparing the picnic spread and when it’s time to uncork the Shiraz, you realize that you forgot to pack the corkscrew. So how do you prevent yourself from looking like a total douche and get the darn bottle open? All you need is your shoe (only rubber soled trainers; the kind every gent wears on a park outing) and lots of patience. Here’s how:

1. Double check the bottle and see that it’s not a screw top. If it is, unscrew top. If not, proceed to the next step.
2. Remove your shoe.
3. Place bottle of wine in removed shoe.
4. Ensure that the large base of the wine is seated near the back of your shoe.
5. Holding both the bottle of wine and the shoe, firmly hit a sturdy wall with the bottle filled shoe until the cork comes loose.
6. If all else fails, walk slowly (a gentleman never runs, remember) to your nearest wine shop to purchase a corkscrew.

How to Approach a Girl Like a Man
Let’s face it. Most men are absolutely clueless when it comes to approaching women, be it at the bar, gym, coffee shop or even on the street. “Being nervous, not making eye contact and not leaning in while you talk to someone are all signs of insecurity and are deal-breakers with most women,” says party promoter John Langan of Massive Collective. So how do you successfully approach the woman who catches your eye? “I just say hello,” deadpans Langan. Yes. It’s that simple. What else does Langan have to say to the aspirational gent?

No Darting eyes
I mean don’t stare down the girl, but never be the first to look away. If you can’t look a girl in the eye, you aren’t in control of the situation, and the last thing a woman wants is a man who isn’t confident.

Smile/Laugh/Dictate
Eye contact only really works with smiling. I naturally smile when I’m around women, but some men may get intimidated. Don’t hold back your laugh too, if someone says something funny, laugh heartily—it will show the ladies you know how to have fun and laughing is contagious. By dictate I mean set the tone for the conversation. Smile and laugh, and chances are she’ll follow suit. That’s what you really want, a woman associating you with positive thoughts and a good time.

Break the touch barrier
Not in a sleazebag way. But I put my arm around friends for photos all the time; it shows that I like that and I’m not afraid to show it. Again it comes back to confidence. And with the ladies, it’s important that they feel comfortable with your touch. Just be aware of her feedback; if she responds in your direction, it means maybe you can try for more, if she’s being a cold fish or moves away from your touch, you should probably take the cue and back off.

How to Restore Your Manly Vigor
A gentleman might not run, but there are still times when he should break a sweat (and not just in the bedroom). Three pursuits in particular strike the right image.

Take up Rugby
To borrow a quote from Henry Blaha, “Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen…” Over the years, rugby has become one of the world’s popular contact sports and (somewhat : inexplicably) it retains a more refined image than soccer. If you prefer tossing oval balls around a muddy pitch with a pack of burly men chasing after you, you can try checking in at St. Andrew’s Junior School pitch every Monday and Thursday, 7:30pm when the Bedok Kings RFC (contact Mark at [email protected]) train. You can check out Singapore Rugby Union‘s website, www.singaporerugby.com to find out more.

Play Polo
What’s manlier than wielding a mallet and dashing about on your steer, dressed in your finest jodhpurs and pique Lacoste shirt? Also known as the “Game of Kings,” polo can be enjoyed by novices and pros alike. Coming across like a strange hybrid of hockey, soccer, golf and horse racing that takes strategy and strength, polo the quintessential gentleman’s sport (see box right). You can try your hand at a chukka at the Singapore Polo Club (80 Mt. Pleasant Rd., 6854-3999). The club has a resident professional and instructor for those keen to learn the game.

Go Sailing
There is a particular quality to sailing—something exhilarating about a pursuit in which your mental power and physical exertion are pitted against the forces of nature. All other sports are essentially rivalries between human beings, while in sailing, all your mental faculties are employed in reading and responding to the conditions. Getting a yacht in these parts may be a dear investment for some but aspiring sailors can test their sea legs with keelboat sailing at the Changi Sailing Club (National Sailing Centre, 32 Netheravon Rd., 6545-2876).

Never Knowingly Outhorsed
Few sports conjure up a more gentlemanly image than does polo; that intoxicating mix of horsemanship, derring-do and perfectly pressed pants. We spoke to James Mullan, editor of UK-based industry bible Polo Times, to find out what it takes to be a cut above the rest of mankind.

What is it that makes men who play polo better than all the rest?
Polo-playing men combine masculine physical sporting agility with passionate “heart-on-their-sleeve” emotion and a sensitive animal-loving side that history has proven women find totally irresistible. Plus they also tend to be rich. Filthy, stinking rich. And a man that can ride is usually a man that can dance, fix a cabinet, wire a video recorder and shag like Colin Farrell.

What do you need (apart from a horse) to look like a polo player?
Long hair certainly helps, as it reassures any interested suitors that you are far too far above/below having a run of the mill 9-5 office job. It also helps cultivate the image of an outspoken, “I don’t care what you think” attitude. You do what you want, when you want, because you were put on this earth to play polo. It’s a lifestyle and, sure, you are arrogant. But that’s everyone else’s problem. To complete the look, keep a pair of saddle-stained whites on at all times, an old pair of tatty “lucky” socks, but smarten the rest of your look up with a pricey pair of loafers and a crisp shirt. The only other accessory that you usually need is a Spanish beer in one hand and Blackberry in the other. Shit, you’re cool.

How can you spot a guy at a tournament who doesn’t belong there?
He is wearing pointy or shiny shoes, has his top button done up without a tie, is lacking a tan and can be heard shouting “I thought the team in red was going that way” (teams change ends after every goal).

How can you fake it til you’ve made it?
Either sound slightly Spanish whenever possible, or shout with absolute conviction any of the following after a particularly quick or brutal play: “Wow, did you see that pony? Wonderful. What horsepower!”; “That was his line! Umpire—you have got to be kidding me?!”; “He did very well to deal with that—a nearside backhand on a ground that is cutting up is no mean feat”; “The team in (insert color of losing team here) looks a little out-horsed to me.”

1. Burt’s Bees’ Radiance Body Lotion has the added ingredient of Royal Jelly to help soothe and brighten up your skin. B700.

2. The Righteous Body Butter from Soap & Glory gives you sinfully soft skin thanks to a combination of Shea butter and Aloe Vera. The blend fits best for those who crave for a sweet all-day body scent. B370

3. For those who have an extra sensitive epidermis, try Jergens’ Sensitive Skin Relief Daily Moisturizer. The cream is fragrance-free and promises to soothe your skin for up to 36 hours. B320.

4. Want to add sparkle to your scaly skin? L’Occitane’s Rose des Neiges Body Cream doesn’t just fight the dryness, but gives you some glitter as well. B1,950

5. Boots’ Dermocare Super Moisture Body Lotion can be a good option for those who want good quality for less. The cream is very light, with no sticky feeling, and it’s fragrance-free. B199.

6. Spread the creamy Coconut Body Butter on your skin after your shower, and enjoy a relaxing moment before bedtime. B280 from Boots Extracts.

7. Peony Beauty Milk from L’Occitane keeps your skin nourished and provides a long lasting scent of sweet Peony. B1,355.

8. If you’re stuck in aircon 24 hours a day then Thoroughly Therapeutic Honey & Shea Butter Body Butter helps replenish and remoisturize dry skin without any sticky feeling. B920 from Burt’s Bees.

Essentials

Soap & Glory. Boots, try Siam Square Soi 4, 02-658-4176.
L’Occitane. 1/F, Central Chidlom, Ploenchit Rd., 02-254-5032.
Extracts. Boots, try 3/F, CentralWorld, Rachdamri Rd., 02-613-1374.
Burt’s Bees. G/F, Emporium, Sukhumvit Rd., 083-300-2554.
Jergens. Try Villa Market, Thonglor Soi 15, 02-712-6000.

The folks: Monsoon Valley is a line of Thai wines (dubbed “new latitude wines”) from the folks at Siam Winery in Hua Hin. In September, this cuvee won a gold medal at the Interna- tional Wine Challenge in Vienna, Austria.

The grape: The wine is a blend of 70% Shiraz grapes and 30% Sangiovese grapes. Due to differ- ent weather, viticulture and winemaking styles, Shiraz tends to be more fruity, less aged and higher in alcohol than the French Syrah, though genetically they are the same grape. (There are exceptions, of course.) The Sangiovese is known for more earthy and spicy flavors like clove and licorice and dried fruit flavors. Inci- dentally, Siam Winery is the only place in Thailand growing this Italian varietal.

The label: Not all that informative, but look at the nice tiger! Thai artist Thawan Ducha- nee was commissioned. The tiger mascot commemorates the release of the wine in 2010, the year of the Tiger.

The look: An intense garnet color with some purple tinge, indicating the youth of the wine and the Shiraz-heavy composition.

The smell: Very boozy and fruity, with lots of blackberry and cherry and hints of herb.

The sip: Nice medium body where the fruits in the aroma are confirmed on the tongue. We are seduced by the gentle tannins lent by the Sangiovese grapes that harmonize with the fruit, creating a velvety mouthfeel with hints of menthol freshness. The Cuvee was kept in 500-liter oak barrels. These barrels are huge, meaning the surface contact of the oak to the wine is less. As a result, the wine has a nicely restrained hint of oak. Unlike the majority of wines, which are filtered before bottling, often at the expense of taste, the Cuvee is unfiltered. If you find any sediment, don’t be alarmed: those are just fine grape bits from the winemaking that actually enhance the aroma and taste. If you’re a stickler, you can decant the wine and let it sit for 30 minutes before pouring.

The food: Because of the medium body, they suggest having it with a proper big dinner. We had it as an aperitif and loved it.

The damage: Roughly B4,000 at The Metroplitan, Dusit Thani and Bo.lan. Retail is B2,500, through Siam Winery directly (02-533-5600, free delivery with orders over B3,000).

Capri (NEW)

Pizza Margarita B195 Penne all’arrabiata B185
It may be in K Village but thanks to its separate entrance and wood-heavy decor, Capri retains some of its own, trattoria-esque per- sonality. Recently-opened, it’s a welcome addition to the languishing affordable Italian scene. Prices vary, depending on how much seafood you like, but the basics, such as their pizzas and pastas, are quite inexpensive and delicious. Moreover, the house wine is merely B100 per glass, a price unparalleled by almost any other place we’ve been to.
G/F, K Village, Sukhumvit Soi 26, 02-665-6227. Open Mon-Thu 12- 2pm, 6-10:30pm, Fri-Sat 12pm- midnight, Sun 12-10:30pm

Govinda

Pizza Margarita B195 Penne all’arrabiata B200
Even perusing the menu, you might not realize that Govinda serves an all-vegetarian, and partially lactose-free, menu—so varied are their selections. Their choice of risotto and gnocchi is unmatched by those at other places. Modest dish- es are fancified not with meat but with ingredients like porcini mush- rooms, asparagus and saffron. Just steer clear of their fake meat.
6/5 Sukhumvit 22, 02-663-4970. Open daily 11:30am-3pm, 6-11:15pm

Sambuca  (BK PICK)

Pizza Margarita B210 Penne all’arrabiata B250
Sambuca avoids being heavily fancy and expensive without turning into one of those places that does Thai twists on pasta dishes. This is a serious Italian establishment in a white house with green walls and a big glass-covered verandah. The food is traditional without being overbearing. Famous for its pizzas out of the wood-fire oven, they also score highly on mains like tenderloin, grilled sausage and seabass, as well as their rich, creamy tiramisu and timely post-meal coffee.
139/3 South Sathon Soi 7, 02-286- 8805. Open daily 11:30am- 2:30pm, 5-11pm

Bella Napoli

Pizza Margarita B220 Penne all’arrabiata B200
We’ve heard from several Italians that the pizzas at Bella Napoli remind them of home. One of the first real pizzerias on the scene, it can get a bit over- looked. But the pizzas here are great, the dough freshly tossed and the crust crispy and nicely charred on the bot- tom. They’re not a one-trick pony, though, as they also do solid, simple pasta and meat dishes like osso bucco (that doesn’t cost B900). We’re also fans of the kitsch but cozy effect of the low ceilings and the checkered table- cloths.
3/3 Sukhumvit Soi 31, 02-259-0405. Open Mon-Fri 11:30am-2:30pm, 5:30-11:30pm; Sat-Sun 11:30am- 11:30pm

Pan Pan

Pizza Margarita B160 Penne all’arrabiata B180
Many a member of the BK staff has memories of going to this cute, three- story restaurant when they were in high school and ordering the Caesar salad and the pasta carbonara. Even today, you’ll find a mix of young and older, Thai and farang. Do yourself a favor, though, and avoid the pizzas. Go straight for the pastas, which are hearty and creamy, and the seafood ones have generous servings. Their arrabiatta is plate-licking good.
6 Sukhumvit Soi 33, 02-258-9304. Open daily 11am-11pm

For as long as we can remember, the only thing that had us stepping through the doors of Amarin Plaza was the brand name sales. Yet the launch of its new fashion zone, id1, has put this oft-overlooked mall back on the fashion map. Nearly 40 small shops, retailing fashion and accessories at affordable prices, are packed into the ground floor, making id1 a mini-Siam Square but with the added benefit of air-con. Here’s our pick of the boutique bunch.

Get the 50-60s Betty Draper (Mad Men) look with the dresses and blouses on offer at Oneoneseven (02-256-9817), which come with a hint of vintage, delicate fabrics and pastel colors. The Old Story (081-372-6724, [email protected]) takes this trend further with fashion items, from shirts to jeans in vivid hues. Rocco by Roccoco retails a range of leather shoes and accessories, from classy 80s wedges to day bags. But those looking for more budget options shouldn’t miss Wanvisa & Mom (086-335-2468, 089-133-5458) who stock a wide selection of leather high heels office workers would fight over, from just B1,490-1,790. Wanvisa also offers a tailor- made service, too. Complete your look with accessories handmade from resin, acrylic or wood from Golf R-Porn (B300-1,500, 081- 566-8815).

Got a fancy cocktail party coming up? Lend yourself a touch of bling at Jewelry Cafe (02-652-0300, www.beebijoux.com/jewelry- cafe), a sister brand of jewel retailer Bee Bijoux, which presents their colorful cupcake- like rings made from gold, white gold and pink gold studded with diamonds in a super cute faux-cafe space. And if you need a fine jewelry box (from B1,100) to keep them in then just head to the nearby Tyme boutqiue (02-311-2131).

Though we admit id1 is mostly for the girls, there are some options for guys too. For starters, drop by at Mantis (085-559-2901, [email protected]) for simple t-shirts in colorful shades and prints (from B220). Also here is the Siam Square-favorite Adverb (02- 684-1199) with their pastel-colored stripes and polka dot shirts and My Muse (085-918-7788, keng.14@hot- mail.com) for toys and small resin sculptures (B250- 1,200).
G/F, Amarin Plaza, 02-256-9111. BTS Chit Lom

THE END OF SUAN LUM NIGHT BAZAAR

The plan: Central Pattana plans to build Thailand’s tallest building with—wait for it—a hotel and a shopping mall.
What really happened: P Con Development was given the lease in 2001, opening the bazaar one year later on the site of a former military academy. When the lease expired in March 2006, the Crown Property Bureau (CPB) asked P Con to pack up and make way for Central Pattana. Despite repeated extensions, no one budged. In January 2008, a court ruled that all traders and shopkeepers must pack their bags and leave within 30 days and pay a B100-million fine to the CPB. Finally, Suan Lum is officially closing now. They are moving to the Ratchada Night Market space, but in a purpose-built mall. Ugh!

CONNECTING SOIS

The plan: In 1994, the BMA planned to link certain sois and roads that were particularly badly planned. These 25 projects included connections between sois Insaraphap 15 and 21, between Chaeng Wattana Soi 14 and Soi Kosum Samakki and between Udomsuk soi 28 and 42.
What really happened: Faced with fierce local opposition and negative media coverage, the BMA, without officially abandoning its plans, has backed off.

RATCHADAMNOEN ROAD REVAMP

The plan: Beautify the “Champs Elysées” of Bangkok, by turning the avenue into a landmark befitting the City of Angels. Launched in 2001 under Thaksin, the 13-billion baht project included a walkway under Democracy Monument and a revamp of the sidewalks and surrounding buildings.
What really happened: The Rattanokosin Committee, the BMA and activists are still fighting over the fate of local communities in the area. The good news: for the King’s coming birthday, there is a project to use some illuminations along the avenue.

BOBAE MAKEOVER

The plan: In hopes of easing the traffic and beautifying the area, the BMA planned to drive away the vendors who illegally set up stalls on the sides of Krungkasem Road, along Klong Mahanak, as well as on Bobae Bridges 1-4.
What really happened: After numerous fights and debates on the front pages of newspapers, on May 23, 2007, HM the King gave a piece of royal property worth B9 million to create a cooperative for Bobae vendors. The sellers were to set up shop there while an underground market with a budget of B800 million would be built. Although there’s been some cleaning up on one side of the road, next to Klong Mahanak—trees, a new pavement, a pretty green iron fence—no digging is taking place.

UNDER-EXPRESSWAY DEVELOPMENT

The idea: The BMA realized it had overlooked precious plots of land lying in the shadows of the expressways of Bangkok. Some 90 plots of land, a total of 551 rai, are scattered under the expressways, most of it in a state of neglect.
What happened: Sixty three plots were to be handed over to the BMA to fight the trash and squatters that have accumulated under most of them. Deputy Governor Pichai Chaipojpanich, who was to head the commission established to organize these plots, resigned. And everyone forgot about the whole thing. Today, there are only a handful of succesfully developed zones of this type.

Spring Fever
What is it about: Acclaimed Chinese director Lou Ye (Suzhou River, Summer Palace) presented his latest work at this year’s Cannes Film Festival to mixed reviews. Like most reviewers, we absolutely love the lucidity and rawness of the film (think Happy Together meets Breathless), although the plot does get a tad melodramatic. A woman (Jiang Jiaqi) learns that her husband (Wu Wei) is having an affair with another man (Qin Hao) after hiring a male detective (Chen Sicheng) to spy on him. But soon the detective gets smitten by the other man, and has an affair with him instead, to the disapproval of the detective’s girlfriend (Tan Zhou), who must decide if she still wants in on the relationship or to walk away.
Who’s in it: Mostly unknown mainland Chinese actors, although the acting is convincing throughout. Qin Hao, who bears a slight resemblance to Happy Together’s Chang Chen, received a Best Actor nomination nod at the 47th Golden Horse Awards (Taiwan’s equivalent of the Oscars).  
Behind closed doors: Like Happy Together, the film opens with a torrid sex scene. Later on, we see more male on male action between the other man and the detective in the shower which looked it like it was played for real. Oh, and there’s another scene involving the detective and his wife, too. Yes, it all gets very, very complicated.
Overall sexiness: . All the men in the film are bisexual in some inexplicable way, and it seems like they’ll pretty much have a go at anything that moves. Director Lou Ye conveys the transient and lucid nature of love and sex beautifully in this film through fiercely spontaneous performances and gritty cinematography which adds to its French New Wave feel. TO

The Housemaid
What is it about: A Fatal Attraction type horror thriller based on a 1960 Korean classic of the same name, The Housemaid aims to shock and pretty much nothing else. Unlike its century old, black and white counterpart, this one bears not a shred of social conscience—every main character seems to be equally and exceptionally flawed. A wide-eyed, (deceivingly) innocent woman (Jeon Do Yeon) moves into an opulent household as the family’s “hanyo” (housemaid) and gets involved in a sordid affair with the man of the house (Lee Jung Jae), resulting in very extreme (and predictable) consequences.
Who’s in it: The award-winning Jeon Do Yeon is no stranger to the image of the desperate, broken woman, having played similar roles in Secret Sunshine and My Dear Enemy. She lends a certain emotion (we’re not sure if it was pity or disgust) to an otherwise cold film. Look out for the waif-like, doe-eyed actress Seo Woo who plays the young benevolent wife—she’s a stunner.
Behind closed doors: It basically goes like this: The maid is naked in bed with her laptop. Her boss walks into her bedroom with a bottle of wine. She seduces him—yawn. Once you’ve gotten over how the “victim” doesn’t seem to be victimized at all, you will notice how the beautiful and heavily-pregnant wife punctuates every few scenes with some extreme yoga poses—the sexiest bit of the film as far as we’re concerned.
Overall sexiness: . It seems director Im Sang-Soo merely rode on the success of Kim Soo-Hyun’s original to make this movie work. Besides the skeletal plot, almost nothing else is similar. What you’re left with, then, is the rudely shocking ending typical of most Korean thrillers. HS

Out now

iPad

Spec: 11” LED backlit screen | 680-730g | 16, 32, 64GB flash storage | Apple A4 1.0GHz | iOS
Price: Around B16,500-26,500 for iPad Wifi and B21,000-29,500 for iPad 3G from MBK.
www.apple.com/ipad
With seven million units already sold, iPad is still the clear number one in this market, despite the lack of camera and flash and the fact that it’s larger than its competitors. Just like other Apple products, it looks sleek and sexy but it really wins thanks to its user-friendly operating system and crystal clear TFT screen. The battery is also pretty good enough to watch two movies in a row.
Verdict: Impressive looks and ease of use but we’ll wait until they bring out a smaller model with a camera.

Galaxy Tab

Spec: 7” TFT screen | 385g | 16GB internal (up to 32GB microSD) storage | Cortex A8 1.0GHz processor | Android OS 2.2
Price: B22,900 from AIS (www.ais.co.th)
www.galaxytab.samsungmobile.com
The Galaxy Tab is simply a larger version of a Samsung Galaxy S smart phone. It offers similar performance to the iPad, except it also comes with the geek favorite Android 2.2 operating system, two built-in cameras for photo, video and video chat. Perhaps the biggest plus for the Galaxy is the fact you can also use it as a mobile phone.
Verdict: Definitely more portable, the Galaxy needs to drop its price to take on the iPad.

Wellcom A800

Spec: 7” TFT tramissiv LCD | 410g | 512MB internal storage | Qualcom MSM7227 600MHz | Android 2.2
Price: B12,900
www.wellcommobile.com/andriod
The authentic Thai tablet PC is currently the lowest-price tablet in the market. (The dodgy iPeds from China being sold in Klongthom don’t count.) First introduced with Android 2.1 and now upgraded to Android 2.2, the Wellcom A800’s two cameras lets you take photos, videos and video chat. It also does all the normal internet stuff (browsing, mail , etc.). It does suffer from a bit of a lag in touchscreen response and applications can run a little slower than other tablets.
Verdict: Not quite there yet but definitely a leap in the right direction.

Coming soon?

Playbook

Spec: 7” | 400g | storage N/A | Cortex A9 1.0GHz processor | BlackBerry OS6
Date: Launches in the USA early 2011.
www.blackberry.com/playbook
Being touted as the iPad killer thanks to its smaller size, newer and faster processor and more features, the Playbook is a million miles from the sometimes boring BlackBerry. The 7” tablet comes with two cameras (3MP, 5MP) for photo and video as well as video conferencing, a Flash player and a multi-tasking feature that allows you to work on several programs simultaneously. Play book does also support business functions like document editing and has inbuilt music and movie players.
Verdict: A genuine contender if it delivers everything it promises.

HP Slate

Spec: 8.9” LED-backlit | 680g | 64GB flash storage | Intel Atom Z540 1.86GHz | Windows 7
Date: Available in the USA now for US$799.
www.hp.com/slate
Slate is HP’s attempt to recover from the downturn in the PC market. It will be the first tablet to run the newly developed Windows 7 so it will support all Microsoft Office software. Two cameras are built in for photo, video and video conference. For those not familiar with finger touch navigation, there’s also a stylus pen.
Verdict: Sounds more like a keyboard-less netbook than a proper tablet.