Paint & Pray

At the State Railway of Thailand (SRT) headquarters, there is a rather beautiful, slightly impressionistic painting of a steam locomotive chugging diagonally across the frame, towards the viewer. Sadly, the painting’s foreground is damaged, just where the railway tracks are represented. This has led SRT employees to blame the artwork for this year’s 114 derailments.

Topics: 
city living
Author: 
Page3
Issue Date: 
2013 Sep 19 - 23:00
Images: 

Page 3: Porn Sessions

Never have we looked forward to the weekend quite this much. The yuck-factor of this week’s parliamentary debates was just too much. We can’t unsee it all, but we can at least drink ourselves numb.

Topics: 
city living
Author: 
Page3
Issue Date: 
2013 Sep 12 - 23:00
Images: 

Repressed Memories

Another slap in the face to Singapore this month, with Kanye West making a surprise guest appearance at the wedding of the grandson of Kazakhstan’s President and Repressor-in-Chief Nursultan Nazarbayev. Elsewhere, Dennis Rodman was back in North Korea to hang with his “pal” Kim Jong-Un, a.k.a. the guy who had his ex-girlfriend executed by firing squad in August.

Topics: 
city living
Author: 
Page3
Issue Date: 
2013 Sep 12 - 23:00
  • By Page3
  • | Sep 03, 2013
Household debt is 78% of the country’s GDP and experts worry that if it hits 80%, consumer spending will stop altogether. After two quarters of recession and with all the price hikes these days—highway tolls, electricity and gas—these same experts say that this dark day is already upon us. 
 
We’re disappointed. Why do economists think so little of us? Sure, we have 10 credit cards (or so), plus the two cars on credit, plus the mortgage on that swanky condo. But do they really think we plan on stopping there? Credit has been good to us so far, and there’s really no reason for us to stop. In fact, if our credit cards crap out on us, we’ve still got pawn shops and loan sharks. We Thais are a resourceful bunch when it comes to amassing vast debts. 
 
Anyway, we’re nowhere near our debt ceiling. Thais are currently spending about 34 percent of their monthly income paying back loans. 34 percent! That leaves plenty of room for improvement. BK’s financial experts, most of whom were not presently in the country for immediate comment, usually advise that credit card repayments should never exceed 110% of your monthly salary, at which point you should consider exile, politics or both.
 
Of course, the government can still help. As we write this, according to nationaldebtsclock.org, it is B4,046,755,462,099 o’clock. Can you read that number? Neither can we! But we doubt the couple of trillion Yingluck plans to spend on infrastructure, or the B350 billion in waterway management, will even register. In fact, even the Dems are saying the government should spend that money faster to avoid a recession, making debt the only non-partisan issue in the house.
 
We’d love to stay here and discuss the finer points of our economic stimulus plan, but it’s already B4,046,801,332,209 o’clock and we hear the Grand Pattaya Sale is on. Sounds like a good opportunity to jump in that new car and hit the malls. Maybe put a deposit on a condo down there, you know, just to pick up the free iPad. If you too would like to contribute to saving the economy, we hope this issue of BK will give you plenty of ideas to go out and spend like a true patriot. Remember, together we can!
 

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Reconciliation 101

Hi, welcome to the Reconciliation Forum. So, yeah, sorry the Democrats and the PAD couldn’t make it. They send their love but, you know, being really sore losers and all, they’re too busy sulking like teeny weeny bitsy babies, boohoohoo. Just kidding. Just having a bit of a laugh. Definitely not mocking our friends in the opposition as this forum is all about reconciliation and we’re going to keep things very fair, today. So, anyway, glad to see some generals could make it, Miss Yingluck, Tony Blair, lovely. Let’s get started.

Topics: 
city living
Author: 
Page3
Issue Date: 
2013 Aug 29 - 23:00

Out To Lunch

Impossible Projects Worldwide was this week appointed as agency of choice for the global repositioning of Lunch.

Account director IM Famished says, “For years customers have been abandoning Lunch in favor of sexier, stupider upstart rivals. Brands like Brunch have acquired a huge market share by appealing to the lazy weekend crowd with overpriced eggs benny and Champagne on toast. Meanwhile Snacks and even Gym-Time have eaten into Lunch’s once dominant daily position. Our challenge is to get people eating at noon again.”

Topics: 
city living
Author: 
Page3
Issue Date: 
2013 Aug 29 - 23:00

Age Old Dilemma

It’s OK, Singapore. You’re pushing 50 now. No one expects you to find things as easy as you once did. Nothing seems as good as it did back when you were young. Prices seem so much higher. Kids so much more troublesome. It’s no surprise you’re looking a little frazzled.

Topics: 
city living
Author: 
Page3
Issue Date: 
2013 Aug 22 - 23:00

Trailer Trash

It’s summer time, which can only mean one thing. It’s silly sequel season! Now’s the time when Hollywood crank out the latest instalments of their biggest franchises. If it’s not Thor 2, it’s the latest Wolverine. It’s Red 2 and Fast and Furious 6. It’s Iron Man 3, Despicable Me 2, Kick-Ass 2, and the new Riddick. (Yes, apparently they’re still making those.) So what have the studios here been working on? Mark your calendars, book those seats and start saving for the popcorn now...Singapore 48 The world’s longest running lightweight action farce is back!

Topics: 
city living
Author: 
Page3
Issue Date: 
2013 Aug 8 - 23:00

Protesternado

If you’ve been living under a rock, Protesternado is a terrible movie by the Syfy channel that somehow went viral, in no small part because it’s so bad. Set in Bangkok during a time of political tension, it sees a giant tornado sweep through the city, pick up protesters, turn them into zombies and then drop them back down into the city.

Topics: 
city living
Author: 
Page3
Issue Date: 
2013 Aug 5 - 23:00