Despite pedaling the “Land of Smiles and Sanuk” line for as long as we care to remember, some survey by a global dating-focused social networking site has deemed us to be, well, not so fun. We rank a lowly 12th in their list of World’s Most Fun Nations, below even those miserable Brits and dour Germans.
Most people who do not plan to vote in the Mar 3 gubernatorial election told pollsters that they are simply “bored with politics.” Bored? BORED? This election is so exciting, it’s like H&M and Ikea and Siam Center all opening on the same day. It’s like getting a lifelong VIP express queue-cut pass to After You. It’s like having your own personal BTS train that picks you up in the morning and plays your favorite Youtube videos instead of ads. ‘Tis the season when everything is possible, when Bangkok becomes one big dreamland.
How does the government plan to accommodate the extra 1.6 million people it anticipates living here by 2030? Ignore the talk of repurposed golf courses and moved military bases; some redacted sections of their controversial White Paper reveal the real story…
1) Relocate people to the Jurong Rock Caverns. For years we’ve been building some 150 acres worth of mysterious storage space beneath the seabed. Let’s admit it’s not for storing oil, it’s for holding people.
Hot: Vine, Not: Skype
In the very same week, the Thai Journalists Association came out and said that freedom of expression does not actually mean the right to criticize anyone, and that we should defend ASTV’s right to criticize generals. We’re a bit confused now as to the exact definition of freedom of expression and how it applies to the upcoming gubernatorial election. Is it OK to criticize the candidates or not? We’d like some clear guidelines on this to avoid upsetting people, hurting feelings and/or receiving decade-long prison sentences.
In an astonishing, unexpected and entirely imaginary turnaround this week, the founding father of a made-up Southeast Asian nation appeared on primetime television dressed as Lance Armstrong. In candid terms he spoke to Oprah Winfrey about his checkered past.
Let’s get straight to it. Did you ever take banned substances to enhance your… performance?
Yes. I chewed gum for years. I’m ashamed to say I had a hook-up with a Wrigleys supplier. Everything else I took was legal, if distasteful to the rest of the world.
Mind Sirikachorn is now the go-to Photoshop retouch artist for election posters in Bangkok. She shot to fame thanks to her placard featuring a blurry cell phone picture of the Chiang Mai zoo guy holding a baby panda. The poster got huge media attention and, since then, she’s the one would be-politicos call when they’re making a run for office.
Oh yeah, baby. The governor election is ready to rumble! Draw near as political heavyweights Sukhumbhand “The Prince” Paribatra and Pongsapat “The Good Cop” Pongcharoen lather up and wrestle down for the title. In the blue corner, The Prince, weighing in at 305 pounds, can positively crush The Good Cop with the weight of his experience. But The Good Cop’s fresh face and media savvy should allow him to side-step the kind of bone-crushing allegations currently being leveled at The Prince. For those new to the sport, here are three key moves you’ll want to be on the lookout for:
This year, I, promise to:
Abhisit didn’t seem to mind when Insects in the Backyard got pulled by the censorship board under his premiership. (Maybe he doesn’t like men in dresses?) Nor did he come out and express his horror when Ing K’s film Shakespeare Must Die got censored by the same board under Yingluck’s premiership. (Maybe he doesn’t like strong women?) Nor did he lambast the 2006 military dictatorship when the board censored Apichatpong’s Syndromes and a Century. (Maybe he doesn’t like movies where not much happens at all?)