This year, I, promise to: 

• Quit complaining about taxis and use the bus more often.
• Refrain from ever using the word “artiste”.
• Look up from my phone when talking to staff at 7-Eleven.
• Call bullshit on mixologists who make me come up with my own drink.
• Quit complaining about buses and get on a bicycle more often.
• Show half as much love for old people as I do for dismembered kittens.
• Argue about something other than food. Drinks, maybe.
• Hold politicians to their word.
• Have sex more often. With whoever I choose, and without a care for procreation.
• Visit another country; so that I never ever complain about any form of public transport ever again.

Signed by: The Little Red Dot

Witnessed by: Anyone who's ever spent time here.