Capture: Bokor National Park, Cambodia

Dear Diary,
It’s dark and hot in here. And this sack is chafing against my skin, as my three companions and I are being spirited out of the jungle.

Last night, the two-legged creatures caught me. Mom had settled me onto a tree and instructed me to cling tightly to the branch and not make a sound. “Beware of pythons,” she once warned. “But more than anything else beware the pungent scent of the two-legged ones. The torture they put you through will make you wish you were swallowed whole by a snake.”

But they found me, shining a bright light that blinded me for a moment. Babbling to each other excitedly, they wrested me off the branch. Three other slow lorises were already tied to a bamboo pole, staring uncomprehendingly. I, too, soon had my legs bound against the pole, with the rope cutting into my flesh. We’re usually solitary creatures, but our forced intimacy had us chattering. “I heard they eat us,” whimpered one of my fellow captives.

Later, they wrenched out some of our teeth! One held me down while another forced my mouth open and tugged and twisted at some of my teeth with some kind of tool. The pain was unspeakable. Even though there was still blood oozing from our mouths, they stuffed us into a white plastic sack—and then we were on the move.

On the Road: Between Cambodia and Thailand

Dear Diary,
Flies are starting to buzz over the dead gibbon, its face finally in repose. For hours, she had been screeching in terror and panic as we all sat in our cages, bumping along the road. Her heart finally gave out, and it’s only an hour or two before the rot sets in. There are some dead birds in here as well. Their tiny hearts also stopped.

We’re in the back of a truck, though it’s covered so others won’t see us. I don’t know where we are, and I don’t know where we are going. The sun is beating down on the tarpaulin, and it’s stifling in our cages. I’m hot, hungry and thirsty—we haven’t been given any food or water since our capture. But the fear is overwhelming the thirst and hunger.

Besides the dead gibbon and birds, our other travel companion is a young Malayan sun bear cub. He’d been crying for his mother, who the men (that’s what they are called) shot and then butchered. She was still breathing when they chopped off her paws, he told us. Annoyed by his sobs, the men injected him with something that’s made him sleep. He’s been so still for the past hour—despite the rough road and the heat—that I fear he, too, might be dead.

To Market, To Market: Sunday Market near Chatuchak

Dear Diary,
Back into a white plastic sack. This time, though, I’m under the counter of a shop in a bustling market. If we so much as stir, the squat, mean-tempered woman looking after the shop delivers a sharp, swift kick. We are given water only once a day, and for food, they stuff hard pellets and leaves into our mouths. I can’t chew them properly because of the crude dental handiwork that I suffered earlier.

When we reached the town, the men handed me and the other slow lorises to a man who picked his gold teeth with one long fingernail. He crooned over us, saying we were in good enough condition to fetch at least 3,000 baht each, and he said something about a buyer looking to build his private menagerie of exotic pets. I don’t know what happened to the bear cub.

The noise is deafening in the market, and the ground is hard and uncomfortable. From the sounds, I gather the shop we’ve been consigned to mostly sells birds. I hear people lumber by and exclaim over the birds’ colorful plumage. Young brats demand birds as pets from their weary parents.

Occasionally, someone leans over the counter and quietly asks the woman if she has anything “special.” So far, she’s tried to hawk us, some African gray parrots and several Star tortoises. “We know where you can get pangolins, too,” she told one customer. Another time, she mentioned another trader in the market who had a zebra. “Dogs and cats aren’t enough as pets for some lunatics,” she said, chortling.

Working for a Living: Sammy’s Shack, Phuket

Dear Diary,
It’s dinnertime, and we’re the show. My companion and I have been sold to a restaurant owner who’s brought us down here by the sea. Night after night, I have to endure being manhandled by boozy tourists who like to pose for pictures with me. The men chuck me under their chins (most have more than one), and the women squeal over how “cuddly” I am. If only I had all my teeth.
The owner grumbles over us and our inability to perform any tricks. He would have preferred to have had an orangutan he could have kitted out in boxing gloves and shorts. But there’s been a crackdown lately on selling the great primates. Someone, somewhere, has finally realized that the wild is running out of orangutans, chimps, and gorillas. Maybe someday they’ll
realize that the forests are running out of slow lorises like me.

www.wildaid.org

Hunka Bunka Comes To BKK

We’re en route to becoming the region’s fashion hub (or so TAT tells us), and that’s why we need more fashion design training programs. Though there are already a fair number of fashion institutions (BIFA, Chanapatana, Raffles, Taxila and many courses available in universities), yet another option is brewing. Originating in Japan, Bunka Fashion Academy [pronounced “boon-ka”] (16/F, United Center Bldg., 323 Silom Rd., 02-235-8240. Open Mon-Fri 9am-6pm, Sat 8am-5pm. www.bunkafashion.com) might be new to Thais but this is where Kenzo and Yohji Yamamoto graduated—so expect those cutting edge styles. Both short (up to 30 hours) and full courses (two years) are available and are led by skilled professionals.

Live Creative, Do Creative

Creative Living magazine (B90) has just been launched, filling space in design/architecture/lifestyle shelves with their sleek contemporary pages. Compared to those big boys on the shelf, Creative Living is not as international as Wallpaper* but still younger than Baan Lae Suan. It has several pages about Steve Jobs of Apple and how creative thinking leads to success. Also, it has a huge travel section (that they claimed they did it themselves) and is collated thematically: The first issue was New York and the second was Paris. Let’s see what city they pick next…

Work Out in Style

Have you noticed the blue/purple neon lights on the ground floor of that very NYC-looking building at Asok junction? That’s the headquarters for a Singapore-based fitness operator’s newest branch in Bangkok. True Fitness (1/F, Exchange Tower, Asok, 02-02-663-4999) covers 6,000 sq.m of the “Batman building,” and is decked out in a funky, futuristic style with a wide range of classes every week. From yoga to aerobics to spinning and free weights, this fitness center will get you worked up in a sweat in no time at all, no matter how you like to do it. Equipped with 70 showers, 1,400 lockers as well as steam rooms, True also houses a café, a nursery for the kiddies and a retail store selling fitness apparel and accessories. Look out, California!

Old Leng, New Leng

A long-running vintage watch retailer has recently opened a new shop. The new Leng Watch (a.k.a. Leng Nalika; Petchaburi Rd., opp. First Hotel, 02-629-2997. Open daily 10am-7:45pm. www.lwg.co.th) offers a rich line-up of vintage watches for every collector, from rare Audemars Piquet or Patek Philippe to more popular Rolex models. You can also make trades here.

No matter who you will be supporting in the World Cup's final match, finding the right place with the right vibe to watch the game is the thing that counts. Here are some suggestions on where to say good bye to Copa Mundial for another four years. As the game starts at 1am, all these places will be open late especially for the event.

For a refined and enjoyable viewing experience, try…

87+ (Conrad Hotel, Wireless Rd., 02-690-9999. Open daily 6pm-1am. BTS Ploen Chit) Though you might have to watch the match with the band, at 87+ you can enjoy a big screen, special snacks and drinks for the football season as well as a lucky draw.

Aqua (Four Seasons Bangkok, 155 Ratchadamri Rd. 02-250-1000. BTS Ratchadamri) Getting all misty eyed over the finals? Don’t cry my dear, the next World Cup is only four years away. Oh, that’s just the mist spraying fans? Never mind. Lots of tasty German munchies included in their World Cup Platter set (B650) for two.

Amaze (559 Rim Klong Saen Seab Rd., next to Talay Bangkok, 02-245-8950/-1. Open daily 6pm-2am) This particular entertainment complex has a huge screen to watch the match on, as well as live music and drinks. While the ballers are having their break, enjoy the view of lots of girls conspicuously strutting around the premises.

Bacchus (Ruam Rudee Village, Soi Ruam Rudee, Phloen Chit Rd. 02-650-8986. BTS Ploen Chit. www.bachus.tv) What goes better with football than…wine? If that’s your bag, baby, this is your place.

Indus (71 Sukhumvit Soi 26, 02-258-4900, 02-661-5279. Open daily 6pm-midnight. www.indusbangkok) A 70-inch screen and unique vibe and atmostphere mark this locale. Cuddle up to a hooka of sheesha and cheer your team to victory. Drinks during the match will be B100 for all ladies and B150 for gents.

Zest Piano Bar (Westin Grande Sukhumvit, 0-2207-8000. BTS Asok) With a five-meter television on the premises, the Westin may be a good place to catch the game. Special items sprinkle their menu like jimmies on a McDonald's sundae. Try Thierry’s Ceasar Salad or the Beckham Cheese Burger. Hurray!

Out of control-ish

Blacky Sport Pub (G/F Radison Hotel, 92, Soi Saengcham, Rama 9 Rd., 02-641-4888. Open daily 4pm-1am) One of the rare sport bars in town that offers not one but TWO 200 inch screens. Wow, you might just feel like you are there on the field. Snacks and drinks served that evening will match the countries that enter the final round. Enjoy a reel of golden moments from previous games at half time.

Chang Stadium (Suan Lum Night Bazaar, Open daily 7pm-late. MRT Lumpini) Okay, it’s not really a “stadium” per se, but at least it’s huge enough for 2,000 people. There will be plenty of Chang on hand to booze it up during the whole game and maybe even get in a fight. Four mega screens will be found in the area along with live music and some pretty coyote girls. If you want to escape the midnight drinking curfew that is rumored to be enacted, order a couple of tankards at midnight and and put them on ice. Last time we checked, ice can be served after midnight.

The Londoner (Basement of UBC II, Corner of Sukhumvit Soi 33. 02-261 0238. BTS Phrom Phong) Oi, Oi, Oi! In this basement pub you can watch the game with the lager louts…just keep an eye out for flying pint glasses if the wrong team wins.

Like No Other

Things keep popping up at the Sino-Portuguese Baan Silom on Silom Soi 19, including the unique hand-made jewelry brand Kit-Ti‘s Jewelry. They just opened their first retail store, Kit-Ti’s Gallery (659 Baan Silom, Silom Soi 19, 01-821-1275. Open daily noon-9pm. www.kittijewelry.com). Since it first appeared in 1998, the brand has received Thai and international recognition including mentions in both Time and Wallpaper*. The room is dressed in contemporary black with a combination of materials: tiles, stones and a petite waterfall. Unique and colorful handmade jewelry sits on black wood poles with prices ranging from B3,000 to B100,000. They also feature funky watches from Japan and Funk sunglasses.

Donde Eres, Espanol?

Bangkok is home sweet home to several international institutions—we already have the British Council, Alliance Française and the Japan Foundation—so now it’s time for Spain. Insitituto Espanol (25/F, Vanissa Bldg., 26 Chidlom Rd., behind Central Chidlom, 02-655-1640/-1, www.institutoespanol.org) is in a prime location in the city center; and is not only a nexus for the study of Spanish language and culture but also for those Spanish speaking countries in South America. Apart from a wide range of Spanish classes, there are also classes for salsa dance, flamenco dance, flamenco guitar and cooking classes—all taught by native gurus. The institution is quite new; so not all classes are yet available. Please kindly contact them for more information.

It makes sense. If you’re going to have something in your mouth for a while, it might as well taste good. Though flavored condoms generally get a bad rap for tasting nothing like what they’re supposed to, we thought it was about time to suck it up and see for ourselves.

Since this is Bangkok, we were expecting to find more exotic flavors out on the market—mango, durian, maybe even green tea! What we found was pretty basic—fruit and chocolate. Why stop at just fruit and candy? What about savory meat flavors like chicken, beef or pork—or vegetarian choices like carrot or eggplant?

And people like coffee too, so maybe Starbucks should come out with their own trio pack of condoms: mocha, latte and caramel macchiato. Now that it’s nearly rainy season, maybe condoms could be enriched with vitamin C to help prevent colds! The possibilities are endless…

Duo Strawberry: (B40, pack of three) This strawberry condom smelled very berry indeed, with some on our panel of experts likening it to the smell of Strawberry Quik. Unfortunately it lacked in the flavor department, with no apparent taste whatsoever. On the bright side, we appreciated its thin, glossy exterior and found its attractive pink color “sexy.”

Faire Strawberry: (B37, pack of three) This condom didn’t contain nearly enough fruit essence to mask the latex rubber smell. It didn’t taste much better, either, and several on our panel commented on its mostly plastic, rubbery taste. Its appearance was noted as being matte and powdery with a pink, fleshy color that was considered cute.

Durex Strawberry: (B47, pack of three) One of the most delicious smelling condoms we tasted, with favorable comparisons to "raspberries" and "bubble gum." However, the taste was non-existent. Appearance wise, this was the most scary looking condom thanks to its agressively red, “very Scarlet Letter” color.

Durex Chocolate: (B45, pack of three) Its cheap fake chocolate smell was reminiscent of Koko Krispies or coffee candy. It was by far the sweetest of those we sampled, and half hated the fake chocolate flavor and half liked it. Like the Durex Strawberry, this had a thick, sticky texture. Most were a little turned off by its muddy brown color. One tester even commented that it “looks like it’s been used.”

Faire Blueberry: (B30, pack of three) Be careful with this one 'cause the package is misleading. It is actually just one blueberry-flavored condom that’s been packaged and stuck in front of a separate pack of two unflavored Skinlight condoms. Tricky dicks. The special condom has a pleasant cherry, raspberry smell, but like so many we tried, barely any taste. Nice vivid color and sexy appearance, though.

Durex Select - Banana: (B53, pack of three) This rubber came in one of three flavors found in Durex’s Select condoms–Banana, Strawberry and Orange (see below). Most reacted favorably to the smell, likening it to banana candy or Banana Pocky. In terms of flavor, it got mixed reviews. Some said it had none while an equal number of our panel said it tasted like banana. Easy to see in a dark room thanks to the bright yellow color.

Durex Select - Orange: (B53, pack of three) Our favorite of the bunch: It had a pleasant fruity smell not unlike Tang and Orange Tic Tacs. Taste-wise this one also came out on top, with our testers commenting that it tasted like nice candy with a bit of sweet and sourness to it. Its thin, smooth texture and elasticity got a thumbs-up from our panel, as did its appealing orange color.

Brit-Fashion Queen

Recently at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, there was the opening of the new special exhibition, “AngloMania,” which focused on British fashion that has rocked the world from 1976 to the present. This exhibition showed what a large impact British designers have had on the fashion world. The TCDC (6/F, The Emporium, Sukhumvit Soi 24, 02-664-8448, www.tcdc.or.th) is now following suit by exhibiting their own impression of the British fashion wave in a show dedicated to one woman who has been a unique symbol of outstanding British taste: Vivienne Westwood. First shown at London's victoria and Albert Museum, the exhibition showcase explicitly shows that over the past 30 years, British fashion has not only reflected and shaped trends and standards of beauty, but also addressed social, historical and political issues. Expect the full-range of Vivienne Westwood styles in this show—some of which will be for sale—running Jul 22-Sep 24. Catch up on further details in future issues of BK.
 

Come to Coco

After nine years of business in Thailand, Chanel has introduced a new boutique at Siam Paragon with a “No Door” concept. This (supposedly) means everyone is welcome to browse—and open your wallet—here. (No guarantees there'll be no dirty looks, though.) This swank shop covers 340m and was decked out by famed designer Peter Marino with handmade wallpaper, wool carpets and the like. The new shop features ready-to-wear clothes, accessories, jewelry and watches.
M/F, Siam Paragon, 02-610-9795/-6.

New British Boy

Talking about luxury brands, it seems Burberry has some competition from one of its cousins, Mulberry. (Well, they sound like family, anyway.) This fine leather accessories manufacturer has just opened its first flagship store and introduced a pre-fall 2006 collection that retains the original style of the brand but adds a little bohemian ’70s detail to make it more casual. The collection comes in oak, chocolate, cognac brown and maroon colors and is available for both men and women.
M/F, Siam Paragon, 02-610-9449.

Meet More Met

Though it seems devoid of shoppers most times you pass by, apparently the cozy Metropolitan Museum of Art Store New York (a.k.a. The Met Store) at Siam Discovery has performed so well that a new branch is called for. This one is in the new section of groovy J Avenue and features products from home decoration items and books to jewelry and textiles.
J Avenue, Thonglor Soi 13, Sukhumvit Rd., 02-712-9266.

Bamboo Bar

The venerable Bamboo Bar has been around for ages and for years was the Bangkok jazz bar, filled with connoisseurs as well as the see-and-be-seen crowd. The prices put it out of the reach of many mortals, but the music in this cozy L-shaped bar is first-rate and the drinks are expertly poured.
G/F, The Oriental Bangkok, 48 Oriental Ave., New Rd., 02-659-9000. Open Sun-Thu 11-1am and Fri-Sat 1-2am.

Brown Sugar

This bar and music venue stands alone in Sarasin Rd.; while the youngsters tinker with their formats and decor, Brown Sugar has stood the test of time. With a decent selection of wine and so-so food, the in-house bands are the real reason most customers keep coming back.
231/20 Sarasin Rd., 02-250-1826. Open daily 5pm-1am. BTS Ratchadamri.

Jazzanova

A group of young executives with jazz dancing in their hearts set this place up for young, monied customers to mingle. Despite the size and décor, which are typical of a Bangkok pub (Victorian style), the place offers very good wine and food. The bands are excellent but irregular as they play there on a voluntary basis.
1/18, Sukhumvit Soi 24, 02-262-0909. Open daily 6pm-1am. BTS Phrom Phong.

The Living Room

Not just another outlet in a five-star hotel, this place jumps with jazz fans, especially on the weekend. Seating is comfortable, service is friendly and the acoustics are above average. Occasional home to ageing legends like Eldee Young. Worth checking out.
1/F The Sheraton Grande, 250 Sukhumvit Rd., 02-653-0333. Open Sun-Thu 10am-midnight and Fri-Sat 11-1:30am. BTS Asoke.

Saxophone

A legendary jazz pub in Bangkok. Thailand’s top performers have played and listened to others play here. Not much in the way of style or atmosphere, but the music still rules.
3/8 Victory Monument, Phayathai, 02-246-5472. Open daily 6pm-1am. BTS Victory Monument.

ThreeSixty

Brand-new lounge located on the 32nd floor of the Millenium Hilton with a 360o view to kill for. If you don’t mind the prices or being stranded on the other side of the river, this is a good place to enjoy your wine and live lite jazz nightly.
32/F, Millennium Hilton, 123 Charoennakorn Rd., Klongsan, 02-442-2000. Open daily 5pm-1am.

Compared to other Chalachol salons around town, ‘Sak by Chalachol (2/F, Siam Paragon, Rama 1 Rd., 02-610-9850/-3) is by far the brightest and most open—thanks to clear ceiling-to-floor glass panes that allow you to see everything inside. The touch screen system greets you at the door, urging you to define your needs before entering. The salon is divided into two parts, a cutting and style zone and a chemical and coloring zone. Proclaimed the best Chalachol ever, ‘Sak uses nano-molecule water that treats your head and hair with care, and also uses a non-stop air-cleansing system. Their senior stylist was directly imported from the States (though she is Thai) and specializes in coloring. Prices are good, too, from B1,100 for men and B1,300 for women. For a cut with Khun Somsak, book two weeks in advance and have B2,500 on hand. Well, that’s cheaper than we expected.

Tom Laycut Professional (2/F, Penny’s Balcony, Soi Thong Lor, Sukhumvit Rd., 02-392-3519) at pretty Penny’s Balcony on Thong Lor needs little introduction as it’s one of the most popular salon chains in Thailand. Decked out in black and white modern design with raw cement walls and geometric mirrors and chairs, their well trained hair-stylists can make any day a good hair day for you, starting at just B350.

If your hair’s been damaged from too many coloring sessions, the white and red Naomi Hair Solution (Room I, 307 Sukhumvit Soi 39, Wattana, 02-662-0736/0783/0259) on the ground floor of Ozono is one of the best options. This is one of the 50 Shisedo Professional appointed salons for its exclusive hair solution system originally from Japan that promises better hair conditions, than other ordinary hair salons. The treatment starts at B1,500 for short hair and B2,000 for long hair.