“Disney’s animated film featured characters that were more alive and human than this live-action film.” Rebecca Murray, About.com

“This is Beauty and the Beast for the Twilight generation; they’ve paid for abs and sparkles, and they insist on getting their money’s worth.” Ed Gonzalez, Slant Magazine

“There is one good thing you can say about Beastly: The title perfectly sums up what you’ll see on screen.” Randy Cordova, Arizona Republic

“A kiss may cure the monster, but not even campy performances from Mary-Kate Olsen and Neil Patrick Harris can save this ugly snarl of cliches.” Peter Debruge, Variety

“Getting teens to look past the superficial may be a noble goal, but when they’re staring at the pretty but talentless Pettyfer, it’s a hard lesson to take seriously.” Sandie Angulo Chen, Washington Post

Paradise Bangkok

We hate to sound like a broken record, but we can’t get enough of this monthly luk thung and mo lam shindig by retro-cool DJs Maftsai and Chris Menist. Get the updates on www.zudrangmarecords.com.

Club Soma

A perennial favorite for hipsters of all ages. Expect a whole lot of dance floor-worthy indie anthems. More info at http://tinyurl.com/4nl75pv.

Dudesweet

The father of all indie nights may have lost some of its buzz and followers over the years, but hardcore fans still flock to their nights for nostalgic reasons. Party details at www.dudesweet.org.

Trasher

If you’re more Katy Perry than Kaiser Chiefs, get down and dirty to cheesy pop tunes and obscene guilty pleasures courtesy of the equally shameless DJ JoJo. Check out their page at http://tinyurl.com/4bhehot.

Reggae in Thailand

DJs Joey Boy and Spydamonkee give you some dub lovin’ on a monthly basis at this long-standing party (they just had their 40th event earlier this year). More info at www.facebook.com/reggaeinthailand.

Judging from recent events like Pattaya ZoomOut Festival (a sad rip-off of Singapore’s ZoukOut sponsored by the government’s “creative” economy scheme) and Culture ONE (which seems to have lost its fizz and way this year), DJ nights are gasping for their last breath in our nightlife landscape. Even DJ-centric venues like Q Bar and Bed Supperclub are thinking out of the box: Q Bar is now embracing the wine trend, Bed Supperclub recently brought in Kelis (American R&B diva nominated for two Grammy Awards). But if inter turntablists don’t get us out of the house on a Friday night anymore, what does? The answer: a more diversified Bangkok nightlife. Here, we give you 25 cool alternatives—sans DJs—for when the sun goes down.

1. Tequila and Egg Whites
We’ve told you once, we’ve told you a hundred times: do your cocktail drinking at Hyde & Seek (65/1 Athenee Residence, Soi Ruamrudee, Wireless Rd., 02-168-5152. Open daily, 11am-1am. www.hydeandseek.com) and WTF (see #4). Our editor’s pick, though, is the Bun Bang Fai (B190) at Soul Food Mahanakorn (56/10 Sukhumvit Soi 55, 085-904-2691. Open daily 5:30pm-12:30am. www.soulfoodmahanakorn.com. BTS Thong Lo). Just like its namesake, this drink takes off smoothly before exploding into little fireworks right in your mouth, thanks to its potent tequila, lime and chilli combo, offset by voluptuous almond syrup and a couple teaspoons of egg white for froth (relax, you can’t really taste it).

2. Wine Everywhere
From Wine Pub to Wine Connection, it’s been obvious that wine is now the people’s choice. And finally, Soi 11 is taking an interest, too. Q Bar (34 Sukhumvit Soi 11, 02-252-3274. Open daily 9pm-3am.www.qbarbangkok.com) just rolled out its own wine nights on Mon and Tue where B800 gets you nonstop refills from 9pm-12am.

3. Khon in Bed
In case you haven’t heard, khon is hot. So hot that it’s now on show at Bed Supperclub (26 Sukhumvit Soi 11, 02-651-3537. Open daily 7:30pm-1am.www.bedsupperclub.com), thanks to choreographer Jitti Chompee who puts a contemporary twist on Thailand’s highest form of performing art. Where else can you see khon set to tango music? The Invisible World is on every night except Mondays, starting from 7:30pm, through Mar 31, 2011. Reservations recommended.

4. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Although it’s been around for several years, in several locations including About Café and the Goethe Institute, Bangkok Poetry Night has just been reincarnated after a long hiatus, this time with a new host, Colin Cheney, and a new location, hipster mecca WTF (7 Sukhumvit Soi 51, 02-626-6246. www.wtfbangkok.com. BTS Thong Lo. Open Tue-Sun 6pm-1am, gallery 3pm-10pm). The rules are different too: it’s not strictly poetry; it can be an excerpt from your novel, your comic or even a short film. And it can be in Thai, too. The vibe is cozy and welcoming, and there are even speakers in the front alleyway if you want some shoulder room while you listen to the prose. Check their blog (www.bangkokpoetry.blogspot.com) for their next event. Sign up to read at [email protected]—or just come for the booze.

5. Dancing Lesbians
The monthly Bangkok Lesbian party may have been around for a while, but more recent is its dancey counterpart, Vibe, which is a great alternative to the usual strictly tom and dee scene. The venue is Det-5 (Sukhumvit Soi 8). There will be pool, foosball, cocktails, a DJ and, of course, dancing lesbians. Sorry, no gents. For more details, visit their Facebook page at www.facebook.com/vibe.productions.

6. Wh Ales You?
The beer options available in this city have definitely improved lately—especially if you’re into the fruity, wheaty options from Belgium and Germany, or creamy treats from the Emerald Isle. But for beer fans one thing that’s been missing is a classic English ale. Thankfully that’s all changed with the arrival of London Pride, a well-known British beer made by the 150-year-old Fuller’s Brewery in Chiswick, southwest London. Less creamy, with a rich, earthy, caramel flavor it certainly makes a good introduction to the complex world of ales and bitters. Try a 500ml bottle of London Pride for B200 at Crossbar Sports Pub (Crossbar Sports Pub. Soi 23, Sukhumvit Road, 02-664-3399. Open daily 11am-late. www.thecrossbarbangkok.com). The landlord tells us there are plans to make Pride available on tap soon and that we could also be seeing Fuller’s fuller-flavored Porter Ale in around six weeks, once labeling issues have been sorted out.

7. Performance Anxiety
Hosted by the Rob Project (DJs Saint Vincent and Stewart), Bed Supperclub’s latest Monday night theme boasts “a new music and social experience.” There’s a Gene Kassidit lookalike, Miss Vee Art, putting together some edgy and flamboyant performance art events. Bed Supperclub. 26 Sukhumvit Soi 11, 02-651-3537. Open daily 7:30-1am. www.bedsupperclub.com

8. Royal Camp Avenue
RCA has recently gone all Brokeback Mountain with the additions of two gay clubs SanFran Disc Go and Castro (RCA Zone B, Rama 9 Rd., 085-161-3386. Open daily 7pm-late.www.castrobangkok.com). Located adjacent to one another, the two venues feature all the essentials: diva hits, coyote boys, cabaret shows and raised platforms for K-pop choreographies rehearsed for hours in front of the mirror.
SanFran Disc Go is now closed*

9. Really Good Bands
It’s kind of grungy but we still love Cosmic Cafe ( RCA Block C, Rama 9 Rd., 081-304-6907 Open daily 7:30pm-2am) for its unerring commitment to live music. A commitment that it carries out every day of the week, with nights dedicated to everything from ska punk to electro. We also love the regular line up of bands (including our current faves, The Jukks) and the sheer diversity of their nights, from hipster heartthrob Maft Sai to avante garde Japanese progressive rock.

10. Indie Nights
And while we’re still in RCA, head down to the uber indie Nospace Gallery (21/108, RCA Block D, 084-134-1184. www.nospacebkk.com. Open for exhibitions on Wed-Sun 11am-7pm, the bar is open Wed-Sun 11-1am) for some aural and visual treats. Known for staging cutting-edge exhibitions (check out their latest show More or Less Queer, page 33). The highlight here, however, is not the art, but rather an intimate bar this place morphs into once the sun’s dropped below the horizon. Want more indie? Check out our Top 5 Club Nights this page. 

11. The Lao Pun Party
Any self-respecting shopaholic would know that every Sat, from 5pm onwards, the open space in front of the MRT Ladprao station morphs into a makeshift night market with countless stalls selling all things cool and vintage. But shopping aside, the Ratchada Night Market (Ratchada-Ladprao intersection. MRT Ladprao. Open Sat 6pm-midnight) also doubles as a laid-back hangout where street food and lao pan (alcoholic smoothies) come in dazzling variety. Grab a Kiwi Frozen (B120), plonk down on a plastic chair and watch the world go by.

12. The Witching Hour
A haunted-house themed community mall in Ratchada is a pretty unlikely spot to spend the night. But stumbling around Mansion 7’s haunted house (244/7 Ratchadaphisek Soi 14, Ratchadaphisek Rd., 02-692-6311. MTR Huay Kwang. www.themansion7.com) after a few drinks is about the funinest and scariest time we’ve had in a long time. It’s also a great way to get the heart pumping before a night on the town. Some free advice: it’s getting popular so book your place early if you can (B180 per person), don’t get too drunk or they won’t let you in and please try not to abuse the ghosts. As for the drinking, we’re quite partial to Cocktail’s lofty industrial decor (a kind of scrubbed-up Iron Fairies), juggling barmen, iPad cocktail menu and funky 80s playlist. Cocktail (Mansion 7, 02-275-0779. Open daily noon-midnight).

13. Forget Asahi
While others boast their Belgian brews, Pint Beer Park (Park Lane Ekamai, 18 Ekamai Rd., 02-382-0071. Open daily 11am-midnight) shifts its focus to Japanese brands like Sapporo and Yebisu. Kampai! 

14. House Parties
You know you’re getting old when you think the music is too loud and you can’t hear what the other person is saying. Fortunately, Bangkok’s always had some nice old houses converted into bars to kick back, eat and do some serious drinking on the side. Our favorite ones right now are 36-24-36 (23 Sukhumvit 36 Soi 2 (Napha Sub), 02-661-5636. Open daily 6pm-2am. www.362436kitchenbar.com) or the achingly hip and freshly opened Salt (Ari Soi 4, 02-619-6886. Open Wed-Sun 6pm-midnight; Mon 6pm-midnight). At last, a chance to discuss the upcoming Hangover 2 and whether Boardwalk Empire is really worth all the hype. 

15. Monopolistic Tendencies
Board games are not just for kids. With a little creativity, they can become an integral part of your next house party, if you get our drift. Polar Board Games & Cafe (Room K4109, Crystal Design Center Phase II, Praditanootham Rd., 083-133-0743. Open daily 11am-10pm) stocks an exciting array of board games ranging from the good ol’ Monopoly to the potentially kinky limbs-entwining Twister (B1,000-2,500).

16. Micro is Big
Est. 33 (Bldg. E, Crystal Design Center, 1420/1 Praditmanoontham Rd. 02-102-2096. www.est-33.com. Open Mon-Fri 4:30pm-12:30am, Sat-Sun 11:30-12:30am) is what you get when you combine an old-school label like Singha with the forward-thinking brains of the folks behind Minibar Royale. This microbrewery is ultra chic and serves up tasty food to go with some interesting, freshly-brewed beers. The place also doubles as a mini beer museum where you can hug the glass tanks and watch your beer brew right in front of you. Est. 33 Shandy (B150) and Fire Drop (B180) are the two big sellers.

17. Cheap, Arty Fridays
An expat-friendly art space on Sukhumvit Soi 31, Attic Studios (24/1 Sukhumvit Soi 31, 083-301-1314. www.attic-studios.com) also hosts First Fridays on, you guessed it, the first Friday of every month, starting at 7:30pm. The evening functions as a sort of open studio for a couple of artists who work at Attic Studios, so you get to see (and potentially buy) some art. A tiny little bar doles out wine and giant very cheap gin and tonics (B120), and sometimes there’s an impromptu art class on the second floor (don’t go if nudity offends you). So grab a drink and make an investment in some yet-to-be-famous artists.

18. Karaoke Den
Call us lame, but we think karaoke is fun—especially when it comes with themed rooms. Packing in aspiring singers every night, YES! R&B (Arena 10, Thong Lor Soi 10, 02-675-4224. www.yesrandb.com. Open daily 11am-1am) features a series of rooms decked out in offbeat themes like win motorsai (motorbike taxi stand), likay theater and tour bus. Room rates start from B400. And thanks to its location right smack in the club-infested Arena 10, extending your night out is a breezy affair.

19. Cricket Crazy
We admit that most of you don’t actually like cricket, but we do and at the moment we’re enjoying wall to wall World Cup action live from India, Sri Lanka and Pakistan. The tournament runs until April which means you’ve got a least a month to tap up your Indian friend for an explanation of the rules. Then head to the nearest bar showing the game. Indus is obviously an atmospheric bet to sink a beer or ten while spending the day watching a game. Indus (71, Sukhumvit Soi 26, 02-258-4900. www.indusbangkok.com. Open Mon-Sun 11:30am-2:30pm and 6pm-midnight).

20. Decent Music on Thong lor
The thought of live music on Thong Lor used to fill us with dread: the same old Thai pop and inter classics played by bored bands to bored crowds. No more though with the arrival of Fat Gut’z (1/F, Grass Thonglor, 264 Thong Lor 12, 02-714-9832. Open daily 6pm-2am) where you can see one of the funkiest old school skiffle bands in town covering everything from boogie woogie to blues to a spot of Elvis. On a busy night, which is a regular occurrence at this tiny venue, the place is seriously jumping thanks to the driving double bass and the enthusiastic antics of the feisty lead singer. Chuck in some fish and chips and potent cocktails and you got a jumpin’ reason for leaving home.

21. Flight of the boozes
Hyde and Seek (65/1 Athenee Residence, Soi Ruam Rudi, 02-168-5152. Open daily 11am-1am) is the go-to place for inventive and delicious (if pricey) cocktails. But these boys are so serious about their booze, they even do month-long promotions of specific liquors, which include special dinners with cocktail pairings as well as booze flights from different vintages and geographical areas. A few months ago it was rum, then it was whiskey. As they’re currently expanding their drink menu, this month’s theme could be tequila but is still being decided. Do check for updates at www.hydeandseek.com.

22. Acting on a whim
What better way to truly appreciate performing arts than when you’re a little tipsy? Squeeze in some high culture and booze at Patravadi Theater (69/1, Soi Wat Rakang, Arun Amarin Rd., 02-412-7287. www.patravaditheater.com), where drinks (mostly beers) are usually available before the show. In the mood for a glass of vino? Head to the nearby restaurant-slash-gallery Club Arts & Gallery (formerly Studio 9, 69/1 Arun Amarin Soi 18 (Wat Rakhang Khositaram), 02-866-2143. Open Tue-Sun 10:30am-10pm) for classic Thai fare coupled with wines and cocktails and poissibly a river view.

23. Fancy thai wine
Khao Yai winemakers Village Farm’s Chateau des Brumes is arguably one of the fancier wines made in Thailand. Unfortunately, there’s a limited number of places to enjoy one. The small-plates bistro Serenade (Grass Thong Lor, 264 Thong Lor Soi 12, 02-713-8409) carries several bottles from the label, including their 2007 Shiraz for B1,400 a bottle and their premium range 2004 Prestige Night Harvest for B2,400 a bottle. The Shiraz is cut with 4% Cabernet Sauvignon and are vinified in an Old World style. For newbies, the entry-level Village Cellar Shiraz and Chenin Blanc go for B180 a glass.

24. Cheapo vino
The first week of every month, usually a Wed, is wine-tasting night at Wine Cellar (G/F, S31, 541 Sukhumvit Soi 31, 02-662-1355). Run by a wholesaler who also supplies hotels and restaurants, the tastings here are technically meant for professionals who want to stock their establishments. But for B100, anyone can turn up and try these mid- to high- quality wines, along with free cheese and cold cuts. Visit their site, www.winecellarbkk.com, for details on upcoming tastings.

25. Go Green
Skip all the nonsense and go straight to the hard stuff. Yes, we’re talking about the infamous anise-flavoured spirit absinthe. And believe us, no other joints in town offer as many varieties as Thong Lor’s Dickensian bar/factory Iron Fairies (394 Thong Lor, 084-425-8080. Open Mon-Sat 8pm-2am). From the Absinthe Flying Potion Cocktails menu, hit it up straight with the Legendary Absinthe. Got a bit of time to waste? Opt for the less wicked variant Naughty Blue Dust. Besides the drinks, this gritty hole-in-the-wall also does a mean burger with juicy Aussie patty and the works.

Want more? Check out our Bangkok's top 5 club nights and Bangkok's top 5 late night eats.

“Suffers from so much style over substance, lack of internal logic, contrived subplots and wooden performances that it makes Twilight look like Gone with the Wind.” Avi Offer, NYC Movie Guru

“I Am Number Four has more than a whiff of number two about it...” Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune

“A flashy, lunkheaded sci-fi extravaganza sure to appeal to teenagers who like their interplanetary warfare bloodless, their high-school soaps squeaky-clean and their numbers countable on one hand.“ Justin Chang, Variety

“Witless, insultingly derivative, muddy-looking, and edited in the hammering epileptic style that marks so many films produced, as this one is, by Michael Bay.“ Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly

“Trivial and trite, its days are numbered.” Susan Granger, SSG Syndicate

“Frey didn’t really need a ghostwriter for this story, he just needed an archivist with a Xerox machine and a mercenary streak.” Tasha Robins, The Onion A.V. Club

Kai, waiter at Seng Sim Ee in Suan Luang for 16 years
I prefer the old market. Without the Suan Luang fresh market there are less people. I have been here since I was very young, so I’ve seen a lot of changes and this is the biggest change to this area. We used to close our shop at 10pm as we sold everything, but that’s not going to happen these days.

Aew, waiter at Seng Sim Ee in Suan Luang for two years
We’ve never known exactly what they will do with the land. There are several rumors: some say it will be a dormitory while others say it will be something else. But one thing I do know is that we have a lot less customers. Without the parking space at the market it’s not convenient for people to pick up food around here.

Prachob, owner of Por Pang Ping grilled bread shop in Suan Luang for 15 years
I wish it could still be the same but I know it won’t. I used to sell bread and milk with my cart in front of the fresh market but I had to move here [into a shophouse] when they knocked it down. Without the fresh market, things have changed. There are only half as many people as there used to be and now I mostly get customers at night. Even though I work longer hours I sell around 10% less than what I used to when I was a street vendor. But you know what, I used to be scared that they [Chula PMO] wouldn’t renew my contract and kick me out of the building. Now I’ve made up my mind. I am too disheartened to stay here. If possible I want to move somewhere else and start something new.

Sirigesinee, Assistant Director of Marketing Communications at Novotel Bangkok on Siam Square. Working in Siam Square for 10 years
I have been working here long enough to see plenty of changes to Siam Square—mostly positive. I don’t mind new developments if they keep the space as savvy and lively as before. But honestly one thing I don’t understand is why Chula are going to have a hotel just right opposite us, a loyal, long-term renter. No matter what they say, two hotels will be targeting the same customers so we can’t avoid competition. The hotel business in the CBD area is tough enough. And what if one day they just don’t renew our contract?

Jay, Training Manager at Hard Rock Café Bangkok. Working in Siam Square for 20 years
Chulalongkorn University might not be on the best track with their development plans in Siam Square but at least they’ve succeeded in making this place the teen headquarters for several decades. One thing that is a concern is the maintenance or lack of it. Chula have added so many new things but then not taken care of them.

Sarintorn, senior year student at Chulalongkorn University’s Faculty of Communication Arts. Studying at Chula for four years
I don’t like the development plan.Because my faculty is right next to Sam Yan it’s where I always go have lunch and hang out. But because of the changes, all the restaurants and shops have gone and I have to walk a lot further to find restaurants. I also feel that Sam Yan is an old area and we should keep it traditional. Sam Yan would not be Sam Yan if it’s full of new modern buildings.

Found in 1917, Chulalongkorn University, a.k.a. Chula, is Thailand’s most prestigious higher education institution. With 1.76 sq kilometers (1,100 rai) of property in the heart of Bangkok, it’s also sitting on some of the most valuable real estate in Thailand. After years of asking, Chula has finally gained the government’s nod of approval to knock down shophouses to make way for its multi-billion-baht redevelopment projects but shopkeepers in Siam and Sam Yan—some of whom have been renting there for decades—are understandably upset. We spoke to Associate Professor Permyot Kosolbhand, chief of the Chulalongkorn University Property Management Office, to get his spin on Chula’s big plans.

“It’s a dilemma. If we don’t do anything, the university will die. On the other hand, we also need to deal with angry renters who have been here for several decades,” says Permyot. As he points out, the university is now partially privatized, with the government funding only 30% of the budget and the tuition fees and alumni donations bringing in a negligible revenue. Chula is therefore dependent on its real estate but little shophouses selling t-shirts or noodles are obviously not paying the kind of money needed for a competitive university in the 21st century.

The irony is that Chula needs private funding, but the government’s stake means it also needs cabinet approval for any project with a budget greater than one billion baht. “People say we’re rushing to knock down those Sam Yan shophouses, but actually it’s long overdue. We’ve been asking the last four governments for permission [to develop the area],” says Permyot.

But does Bangkok really need another ‘lifestyle’ mall or hotel where small, individual businesses once stood? “The shophouses are over a half-century old. They could collapse any time. It’s impossible to find a harmonious solution for everyone, but we’re still trying. This is Chula’s biggest facelift ever, but we want the old Siam and Sam Yan to remain recognizable. It’s not that we don’t preserve old things, it’s that we preserve them in our own way.”

The relationship with the tenants will also be profoundly different. Gone are the days when Chula could afford to simply build and rent. “The Sam Yan area alone is almost 14 rais [22,400 sq meters] so we decided to invite private enterprises to invest and then share the profits,” says Permyot.

We’re skeptical that anything recognizable will remain of our teen memories and we really don’t need another mall. At least, Chula is getting in bed with bland retail/hotel/condo developers for a good cause—education—as opposed to simply lining some investors (or government official’s) pocket—though only time will tell.