Yousef whips up housey techno so infectious that it’s no wonder he has caught the attention of many tacts like Fatboy Slim, Jamiroquai and Moloko. We grab the man for a quick banter.

What makes you smile?
My girlfriend Naomi.

What bores you?
Negative people with no vision about life.

The worst sound you’ve heard?
The noise inside a car before it crashes.

What are you listening to currently?
I'm working on a remix for Billie Ray Martin so I’ve got that on, and the sound of the Pacific Ocean.

A memorable pickup line?
“We've met before and we've been to dinner.”

What blows your mind?
Traveling the world to earn a living!

Your worst nightmare?
Going to prison.

If you can change the world, what would you do?
I'll liquidize George Bush and his whole cabinet!

Complete the sentence. “If I’m not a DJ or a producer, I would…”
Not be doing this interview.

JoJo is a heart specialist and a night porter in the latest offering by Singapore Repoertory Theatre and Indian Ink Theatre Company’s The Pickle King. This uproarious and heart-warming production (the third of a series which comprises Krishnan’s Dairy and The Candlestickmaker) sees JoJo uprooted from India and making his way to New Zealand. There, he falls heads over heels with hotel receptionist Sasha Daniels, but their romance is threatened when the arrogant George Reaper steps in. We quiz JoJo (played by Jacob Rajan) to find out more about his journey.

You’re a trained heart specialist in India. But you settled for a porter position in New Zealand. Why?
They don’t recognise my qualifications. I have to re-sit my exams to be registered to practice medicine here. Meanwhile, I’ve got to eat, no?

Alright, you win. So what is the weirdest room service enquiry you’ve received from hotel guests?
A couple of Singaporeans asked me for tickets to an obscure theater show called The Pickle King once.

Err… OK, what do you miss about India?
The 3 Fs: Family, Food and Food.

What do you love about New Zealand?
Sasha, the night receptionist!

Speaking of Sasha, how would you describe the chemistry between you two?
I’m a cardio thoracic surgeon, I mend hearts. Sasha’s a gypsy, she breaks them. I think we’re perfect for each other.

Anything you’ve done that has made her swoon?
I left some suitcases out that she tripped over. Does that count?

I guess. Any obstacle to you having a smooth sailing relationship with Sasha?
Well, she believes that she’s cursed and everything she loves dies—that sure doesn’t help.

Well, we heard George Reaper comes in between you too…
Everytime I get close to Sasha he barges in and to make matters worse, something usually dies. He’s a strange fellow; I’m going to find out what’s in that large trunk of his.

If you were in a room alone with him, what would you do to the guy?
In a fight or flight situation I’m more a flight kind of guy. But if it’s a matter of the heart…who knows?

Karen Tan has given birth almost every other year since she’s gotten married, in her role in the play Titoudao, that is. Acting as Titoudao’s (played by Pam Oei) mother, in this latest offering by Toy Factory Productions, she tells us what it’s like to have bound feet, married young, migrated to Singapore with her Chinese husband and given birth to numerous sons and daughters.

Who is sexier—your husband or Johnny Depp?
Johnny Depp—he’s considerate enough to have only two children.

Who rules the household—your husband or you?
The children.

If you had not married young, what would you be doing now?
Having another man’s children.

Tell us about your biggest talent.
I can give birth and supervise my cooking at the same time.

What helps you to remember the names of your many children?
I don’t!

What is your shoe size and where do you do your shopping?
I wear the same size shoe as my four-year-old daughter, WhatsHerName. I shop in her drawer.

Tips for walking fast in bound feet?
Try not to walk.

The first thing you’ll do if you strike lottery?
Pay my husband to sleep in another room.

One thing you wish Titoudao would stop doing?
Being so short.

What do you think contributes to Titoudao’s excellent singing power?
Constant practicing with the i-Pod Nano.

People laugh 300 to 400 times a day when they are children, but only about 16 times a day when they reach adulthood, according to laughter yoga instructor Avi Liran.

For the uninitiated, what is laughter yoga?
Laughter yoga is built on two elements. The laughter part is laughing exercises to bring out your inner child. The yoga part is breathing exercises that’ll teach you to calm down, meditate and recharge. Sometimes we bring music to the sessions and make people dance. Throughout the session, I’ll bring out the benefits of laughter to life. There’s a lot of spiritual wisdom that I can teach.

Cool. And how do you become a laughter yoga instructor?
Someone gave me this book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Enlightenment by humor expert Lenny Ravich. Later, I saw an article that said Singaporeans are the least happy in Asia. So I asked Lenny, “Would you mind coming to Singapore?” He said, “I’d love to.” We started doing brochures and I was researching on the net when I found out about laughter yoga. I was so intrigued that I decided to go to Paris and meet the guru Madan Kataria who wrote the book Laugh for No Reason. And I became a teacher.

So what happened when you were in Paris?
It was a phenomenal five days and five nights. I laughed about nine hours a day and lost 1.5 kg. I got 30 new friends from all over the world. I found a lot of the benefits of laughing. The quest allows me to share my ability to laugh at life with others and make other people happy. And I’m one of the guys who also makes money out of it. You can say I literally “laugh my way to the bank!”

Haha. And what are your goals in the near future?
I’m going to teach a two-day course for people to become laughter leaders. I’m going to look for people to subscribe. The more the merrier. I have two dreams. One is to have 50,000 Singaporeans to go to the National Stadium or somewhere on Laughter Day, which occurs in May, and do laughing exercises. I’ll tell you my other dream after I’ve reached it!

Fort Canning came alive to the loud dancey rock numbers of British rock trio Muse two weeks ago. Made up of vocalist cum guitarist Matthew Bellamy, bassist Chris Wolstenholme and drummer Dominic Howard, Muse staged a rocking good show, performing hits after hits such as “Knights of Cydonia,” “Supermassive Black Hole,” “Starlight” and “Time Is Running Out,” getting the crowd all hyped up.

When I was younger, I had a bad temper. When I was at school, I used to freak people out a little. There’s nothing about me that scares people now. I hope not. I’m easy going. Most of the time at least (laughs).

I’m scared of moths. I have a phobia of moths. Can’t stand them. I’m scared of death. And pain.

My all time favorite song? Probably “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys.

I gave up smoking a year-and-a-half ago. I had a very bad cough and I had cancer as well. So I stopped smoking and promised myself that I’ll never smoke again for the rest of my life.

Music has always been quite important to me from an early age. I can’t really remember thinking too much about what else I wanted to do. I wanted to be a doctor for, err, about five minutes?

I was a guitar player then I played drums for a while. Then Muse started, and I picked up the bass guitar.

Until Muse, Matt was more of a guitar and piano player. So when we started Muse, it was fairly new to Matt and me because we were both on instruments that we have not really played before: His voice and my bass.

Matt is not your typical rhythm guitar player. The way he plays the guitar is very melodic and he leaves a lot of space for the bass to fill out. For that reason, I’m always, well maybe, slightly freer than the bass players in other bands.

When Muse first started playing, we were pretty much listening to a lot of American bands like Rage Against the Machine and Smashing Pumpkins. These might be the bands that probably made us want to be in a band in the first place.

Now, I’ve been listening to Wolfmother a lot actually.
I think it’s a great Australian band.

When we first got together, we thought it would be a great achievement just to play at a gig. Just any gig, anywhere.

Playing at Glastonbury festival a couple of years ago was a big highlight. Going to festivals were the only way to see bands, especially American bands, when we were young. To headline festivals like the Glastonbury festival is something we dreamt of doing when we were kids.

We got a very big gig coming up in summer time at Wembley Stadium. That’s gonna be a new challenge because we’ve never done a stadium show before. The whole approach of the show is going to be new too. We’re really looking forward to that. It’s very nerve-wrecking. It’s a very big show on Jun 16 or 17.

We don’t really get recognized on the streets. You have bands that achieve that kind of celebrity status and get pestered by press people or things like that. We never really had that. It’s good because it shows that the music is more famous than us as people. And that’s the way it should be. It should be about the music and not about the face.

We’ve received a lot of presents. I think, it was at Russia or somewhere, that somebody gave Matt an oil painting of him with two birds on his shoulders. Recently in America, a girl made some paper dolls of us and also, every single article of clothing we’ve worn in the last seven years. It was kind of odd but nice.

I think people have gaps in their lives and they fill it with different things. The town where we came from was pretty quiet. Music was for us an escape from that.

Golf is a game that requires a lot of practice and dedication. When I am not traveling playing tournaments around the world, I spend a lot of time practicing and preparing.

It is not easy to become a professional golfer and I want to provide kids with the opportunity. Normally, in the morning I go to my golf academy and spend time with the junior players that I support. This is really important for me.

I presently provide full support for 20 kids with all of the training facilities, equipment and golf apparel. They are all from my hometown and this is really my way of giving back to the sport and to my
community.

I grew up near the Army Golf Course at my hometown of Lopburi. As a teenager I would spend time with my friends around the golf course and find balls that players lost. Then I became a caddie and started to learn more about the game. I would go on to the course at night to play when no one could see us.

I think those early years when it was not easy for me to play gave me a great sense of appreciation for the game. This is why I really put my heart into the golf academy.

I joined the Army and trained as a paratrooper, working hard for about 10 hours every day. I received two great gifts from that training—physical fitness and an understanding for discipline.

I was also very fortunate to have had very kind people who supported me fully when I did not have the means to make the jump from an amateur to a professional golfer. It costs a lot of money in the beginning.

I know that if you work very hard at something and you really put your mind and heart in it, you just may achieve it.

To play the Masters was a dream. You see, for me to come from playing at night at the Army Course to walking along the flawless fairways of Augusta National—it was a long road! But it was also an amazing road. Being invited to play the Masters, it is like I had arrived!

On the golf course, I try not to get ahead of myself. I just play one hole at a time. I also really believe that if you can learn from your mistakes, you will improve.

I am very appreciative of the fact that the fans are interested in how I am doing. I feel honored and it gives me a great incentive to continue to work hard and try my best to improve each day.

When your fans support you, you feel responsible for them, close to them and want to do well for them. This is why I love to play here in Thailand.

For 2007, my main goal is to finish the year in the top 50 in the European Tour Order of Merit. This is a tough goal, but I feel that I have a chance of achieving it. If I can do it, it will lead me into my long-term goal in golf, which is to play full time in the PGA Tour in the USA.

To represent Asia is a tremendous honor. I was very proud to be part of the inaugural Royal Trophy. When you think about it, it was truly historic.

Where do you usually go?
On my regular workday, I pedal through Sipraya and all the way to Yaowarat.

What do you buy and how much do you make?
I’ll generally consider anything as long as it is in a decent condition. What is on my shopping list ranges from office paper, cardboard boxes, scrap metal, used furniture, old magazines and plastic bottles. I have to refuse anything in really bad condition. I am not a trash collector. I make about B6,000-7,000 per month. It doesn’t make me rich, but it’s sufficient for a normal existence.

How long have you been doing this and why?
I was a construction worker. Providing all the necessities to my family was a challenge. Being the head of the household looking after my wife and three kids, the financial burden was just too much. So, I started looking for a new opportunity to make ends meet. It has been approximately 10 years now.

What do you like and dislike about your job?
It was a lot harder working in construction. The positives range from slightly higher income to increased flexibility. However, with this there are no guarantees. It is not unusual for me to go home empty-handed.

What do you do with all the stuff you collect?
I just pass it on to the middleman, who will eventually pass it on to the recycling factory.

What is your opinion on today’s society?
This society is crooked. It is a bit worrisome, particularly being a father myself. I have come to the conclusion that education is extremely important. It is a safe bet that your kids will put it to good use. I take myself as an example of what not to do. Being a fourth-grade dropout hasn’t left me much room in society to choose my path. Life is tough.

They’re one of the most influential hip-hop outfits of all time—and come this Feb, the Beastie Boys will be disrupting the whole scene in Singapore as part of the Good Vibrations Festival 2007. We waxed lyrical (well, almost) with the soft-spoken, but very friendly, Adam Horovitz (a.k.a. the King Ad-rock) about his influences, what to expect when they come to town and who gets the most attention from the ladies.

Till this day, the Beastie Boys are still known as innovators, not just in hip hop, but music in general. After all these years, how do you guys keep things fresh with every new album?
I have no idea! By not worrying about it, maybe.

So, do you guys have a plan when you head into the studio?
Unfortunately, we don’t. It’d be nice if we did though!

It’s become something of an in-joke among fans that you guys have a tendency to release your albums pretty slowly. Are these spaced out releases intentional?
I think that’s a well-known fact actually! Well, I mean, who wants to work, honestly? If you don’t have to, why would you? If you can, take your time—and why not, right? You can’t be mad at that. I mean, I’m just being honest.

So, when can we expect a new album from you guys?
Whew. Well, maybe 10, 15 years from now! Actually, we have one coming out in the next few months.

Many people would rank you guys up there with the likes of Public Enemy and Run DMC as one of the most influential hip hop outfits ever. But what were your biggest influences as an artist?
Wow. That’s a good question. I mean, where do I even begin? There’s just so many. Run DMC would definitely be in that list for so many reasons. Bad Brains, for sure. X-Ray Specs, The Specials, The Clash, Sugar Hill Gang. There’s so many. Miles Davis too.

What are the differences you’ve noticed in your fan base over the years?
There’s not that much difference, I’ve got to say. There are a lot of different types of people now and that’s nice.

On the flipside, how do you think the music industry as a whole has changed over the years?
Not that much either. The only real change has been with the Internet. I mean, business-wise, it’s changed because the record companies have to think of downloading. But that’s about it.

Your live shows are famously known for being mind-blowing events. What do you have planned for Singapore at the Good Vibrations Festival?
It’s hard to say. I can’t really talk too much about it because there’s going to be lots of surprises.

Enquiring minds want to know: Who gets the most attention from the women?
Well, we’re all married, but, yeah… me, obviously.

Would you be alright if we told fellow Beasties Mike D and MCA that you said that?
I would prefer it if you did!

Watch out for The Necessary Stage’s upcoming Survivor Singapore. In this outrageous drama, a group of students, carried away by the desire to be engaged in a project that involves multiracial dances and ketupat-making, creates a game called Survivor Singapore. We asked one of the students, Aishwarya Rai (played by the irreverent Kumar), to let us in on the assignment.

Tell us about Survivor Singapore.
It’s about young people trying to voice their ideas. The survivor is the one that keeps his or her cool, without exploding, the longest.

And how does one win the game?
Smile even when you feel like slapping the other bloody b***hes.

What happens to the losers?
Carry on living in Singapore.

Well, what’s more lethal? A gun or a bullet?
A bullet lah, who wants a gun that shoots blanks?

Which is worse? An empty pistol or a sex pistol?
An empty sex life is the worst.

War or raw?
I’m Indian. I believe in peace.

OK, dress code for Survivor Singapore?
Camo chic.

And what reigns on the battle field?
A loaded Indian gun. Mine.

Who are your heroes?
Myself.

Complete the sentence. “Courage is…”
Courage is being true to yourself, always.

You’re not very young but people call you “The Kid.” Others call you “The Magician.” How do you get these names?
When I was ten, many patrons in my uncle’s billiard hall took me to other halls to play games for money against older players. There was one older player also named Efren Reyes, so to make the distinction, people began calling me Efren “Bata” Reyes, with “Bata” meaning “The Kid.” “Magician” was the name given to me by billiard commentators during my early campaign days in the US in the ’70s. Whenever I pocketed difficult shots, they often described them as magical; hence, the label “The Magician.”

Well, if you were to name your cue, what would it be?
I would like to name it Efren “Bata” Reyes. This is the name I carry wherever I play and I would want it to also be the label of my cue.

Are there any rituals that you do for luck before you compete?
I do not have any rituals. I have some lucky shirts though, like the white dress shirt given by my sponsor when we played the US team and won the World Team Championship in the late ’80s. I have worn that in many events. It has turned brownish now. My sponsor said it does not look good anymore and gave me a couple of others.

You were featured in TV ads. Think you have the makings of a star?
I have appeared in commercials and most of the time, I execute shots to thrill the viewers. I’m surprised at the many takes and the amount of preparation needed to shoot a scene that will only be shown for about 30 seconds. I have been invited to many TV shows but I will never be a TV star. I appeared in a movie with out the late Fernando Poe Jr. and the movie centered on a billiard championship event where we played as Scotch Double partners.