Karen Tan has given birth almost every other year since she’s gotten married, in her role in the play Titoudao, that is. Acting as Titoudao’s (played by Pam Oei) mother, in this latest offering by Toy Factory Productions, she tells us what it’s like to have bound feet, married young, migrated to Singapore with her Chinese husband and given birth to numerous sons and daughters.

Who is sexier—your husband or Johnny Depp?
Johnny Depp—he’s considerate enough to have only two children.

Who rules the household—your husband or you?
The children.

If you had not married young, what would you be doing now?
Having another man’s children.

Tell us about your biggest talent.
I can give birth and supervise my cooking at the same time.

What helps you to remember the names of your many children?
I don’t!

What is your shoe size and where do you do your shopping?
I wear the same size shoe as my four-year-old daughter, WhatsHerName. I shop in her drawer.

Tips for walking fast in bound feet?
Try not to walk.

The first thing you’ll do if you strike lottery?
Pay my husband to sleep in another room.

One thing you wish Titoudao would stop doing?
Being so short.

What do you think contributes to Titoudao’s excellent singing power?
Constant practicing with the i-Pod Nano.