You’ll either love or hate my movies. Usually, there’s no in-between.

Stay away from the theater if you don’t like my directing style. I never compromise to please anyone but myself. When it comes to making films, I want to do what I like and have fun doing it.

I get bored very easily. That’s why I keep changing movie genres. That’s the trick to keeping myself motivated.

The best thing about filming Ghost Station was that we got to laugh every day. It was my first comedy feature, even though comedy has been a part of previous films like Tattoo Killer and Sai Lor Fah.

You can’t tell someone to be funny. I didn’t “direct” Ple and Hoy. I gave them the script and let them act it out for me. If it was funny and the whole crew laughed, we moved on to the next scene. If not, we shot whatever takes were needed until we felt it was right.

To make people laugh throughout the whole film is the most difficult thing in making a comedy. There are many kinds of comedy, from witty wordplay to brainless slapstick, and what makes one person laugh his heart out might not raise even a smile in someone else.

Every movie is a “market movie.” Whenever you put something up on sale and people have to pay for it, that’s merchandise. Whenever you screen your film in theaters, selling it to moviegoers, that film is a “market movie.” Arty or mainstream, the only difference is the size of the market.

I love sci-fi films. Too bad I haven’t had a chance to make one yet. My favorite directors are those who can turn overflowing imaginations into reality on screen, like James Cameron and George Lucas. I also like Stanley Kubrick because he achieved a balance between mainstream and art-house filmmaking.

A director needs to find his own signature trademark, the unique style that distinguishes him from others. Some might consider me blunt, crazy or eccentric, but that’s because I want to present something different, something that is me.

Be yourself—that’s my rule of thumb. Many directors have flopped because they present what they think audiences want. Listen to yourself and don’t try to be someone you’re not.

Making films is my hobby. I don’t want to consider it a full-time job or else the fun will be gone.

It’s good to see Thai films warmly welcomed. Many popular Thai films like Tom Yum Goong and Saeb Sanit Sid Sai Nah were a lot more successful than big budget Hollywood films here. Previously, it was almost impossible for a local film to reach B100 million in ticket sales. Now that’s quite feasible.

The greatest teacher of all is experience. I don’t usually take or give advice. We all have different ways of thinking, different backgrounds, and different lifestyles. So advice from others may not be directly applicable to you and your problems. It’s better to learn by doing.

My next project is a political satire called Manud Fai Chai (literally, Mr. Flashlight). I think we’ve all had enough of political nonsense. The film is in production right now and is going to mirror the effects of our system of democracy on society.

Now I’m just a cog in the film industry machine.

Eventually I’ll be replaced, so my future plan is to run a resort on Koh Tao. Of course, I’d like to be one of those with power over the system, say the owner of a theater chain or a big production house. But a resort on Koh Tao seems a more realistic dream.

I’m just a regular director whose work reflects who I am. What you see is what you get. That’s it. I’m not complicated.

How long have you guys been together?
Sack: Seven years now, but Billy and Tom are new because the old drummer and bassist got full-time jobs.

How was the feedback on your first album?
Sack: Great. Better than we expected. We sold more than 20,000 copies of our first album, which is like selling a million copies in Thailand. You know, Laos has only about five million people.

Have you ever played in Thailand?
Sack: We play fairly often in Udon Thani and Nong Kai, but in Bangkok, just twice. We performed at Fat Festival Four and Fat Connection with BigAss.

Do you like Thai audiences?
Sack: Of course. Thai and Lao audiences are the same: they have fun, they jump, they dance.

Why did you choose to cover Nong Plub’s song for Sanamluang Connects?
Sack: The band’s sound is nu-metal that is not so dark. We put the lyrics and the rhythm together, and thought it was funny, so we just sped the song up to a rock tempo.

When will your new album be out?
Sack: It has been launched in Laos already, and the full album will be available in Thailand this month.

Who do you want to play with in Thailand?
Sack: In a concert, there’s an exchange of knowledge and experience, and you make new friends. We would be glad to play with any band.
Duek: There are no walls in music, no boundaries, and no nationalities.

This offering by W!ld Rice is the second time Noel Coward’s comic masterpiece has appeared on our stage. Adapted to local tastes, the play is about how the spirit of an ex-wife is accidentally summoned and proceeds to vent her jealous fury on her ex-husband and his new wife. We ask Tan Kheng Hua, who stars as Elvira the dead wife, to explain her mischievous, out-of-the-world shenanigans.

So tell us, has death changed your view of the world?
Oh yes—I’m thoroughly enjoying being even more selfish and manipulative than I was when I was living simply because i now know for certain—live your life like there’s no tomorrow!

Who is the most interesting dead person you have met?
Joan of Arc was rather fun—much more fun than the books or movies ever put her out to be. But her hairstyle really needs a makeover.

Does it hurt when someone puts their hands through you?
Oh no—in fact, it’s rather ticklish!

There must be some dead eligible hunks on the other side for someone so good looking as yourself? We are thinking James Dean, River Phoenix…
You underestimate my love for my dear hubby Charles, darling. I may be dead, but I have real feelings! And I’m only a slut when I need to make him jealous.

For the broken-hearted out there, what are your tips on how to make your ex truly suffer?
Make him realize how much he loved you—now that he’s lost you!

Finally tell us a secret about the other side—can you walk around naked over there?
I have to!!! I only have the one outfit I died in! How absolutely boring!!!! When I’m back for my revisit, remind me to make a quick stop to VivoCity.

Mongolian artist Monkhor Erdenebayar—a.k.a. Bayar—is having his solo exhibition, Red Horses of Mongolia, at the ARTrium, MICA Building—hosted by Teo + Namfah Gallery of Bangkok. His preoccupation is with the energy of horses, which he conveys through form and color—especially red. Part of the proceeds from the sale of Bayar's paintings will help fund an art scholarship in Mongolia. We speak to him about his works.

Why did you become an artist?
I grew interested in art as a child. I think all children like painting. After art school, I was drawn towards contemporary styles of painting. I tried these and made several abstract works, but soon realized I wasn't as interested in this as I had thought. So I tried to find my own style, exploring widely before I found inspiration in Mongolian lifestyle and traditions.

Why red horses?
I like animals. I tried many others—even camels—but for the last 14 years I've been painting only horses. Red is a color that gives energy. As for horses, they connect people to nature.

Do you own horses?
Yes. I've had horses since I was a child. There are 11 horses per person in Mongolia.

Some say that if you look at the horse in the painting, it will look back at you. Is that true?
Well, Mongolians believe the horse is like an eight-year-old child. It can do many things and feel many emotions. But whatever the painted horse looks at depends on the viewer and how he relates to the painting.

If horses are a symbol of Mongolia, are your paintings about Mongolia as a nation?
The audience should have some feeling for the cultural origin of a work of art and anyone can guess my paintings come from Central Asia. But my art is not really concerned with giving messages.—Susaji Puranasamriddhi

Respondents were

Female 41% Male 59%

Are you good in bed?

Looks like people are happy with themselves. But this begs the question:
is how good you think you are any indication of how good you are?

I consider myself

How many people have you had sex with?

When did you first have sex?

How experienced do you like your partners?

Thai males are the most radical about their preferences on this topic, with fewer of them ticking “No preference” (32%) than the other two cities (42-52%). It’s good to see roughly half of them prefer a confident woman to a clueless girl, but there are still 14% of Thai guys who want to feel like they’re the first one.

Ever had sex with a co-worker?

Yes you did.
HK - 39%
SG - 33%
TH - 40%

Believe in love at first sight?

Yes you do.
Female - 52%
Male - 62%

How often do you do it?

If you’ve got a big appetite, it sure sucks being in the Lion City. A mere 2% of Singaporeans get it on a daily basis. There are three times more people in that lucky (or plain sex-addicted) bracket in Hong Kong and Bangkok. If you look at the “number of partners” statistics, twice as many Thais (20%) have lost count as Singaporeans. Looks like we live in the right city when it comes to getting some.

How long have you gone without getting any?

There’s a surprisingly tight bracket for the number of virgins among Singaporeans and Hong Kongians of both genders and Thai women (5-6%). And then, you have Thai males. Only 1% admit to never having gotten any. Liars or truly getting more action? At the other end of the sexual universe, there are 46% of Thailand’s males who never go for more than a month without a shag (HK: 38%, SG: 43%). As for girls, it’s the Singaporeans who have the most regular habits with a full 35% who have never spent an action-less month compared to a mere 19% here (HK: 24%).

Pet Names For Your Partner’s Genitalia

Many of you were shocked that we could even ask this question, calling us immature, telling us to get a life, or just expressing that the very idea of giving a cute little moniker to your partner’s privates has you on the verge of throwing up. Actually, upon reading the answers some of you gave, one realizes there really are things best kept a bedroom secret.

Foreplay

Uh-oh. The Thai female needs to warm up more than any other in the region with 61% warning that you’re not getting any if you don’t take things slowly (HK: 53%, SG: 38%). It’s not exactly a match made in heaven with 6.6% of Thai males who consider the whole thing an ordeal but 65% are fine either way and 29% even request foreplay).

Ever had sex with someone you met online?

Male - 33%
Female - 20%

Ever cheated on someone?

Ever been cheated on?

Why did you cheat on your partner?

Would you have sex to advance your career?

Is your partner happy with his/her sex life?

86% of males are happy while 83% of females are.

Are you happy with your sex life?

Ever paid for sex? Would you have sex to get a promotion?

While girls throughout the region are all pretty consistent in saying no to gigolos (only 1% have paid for sex in Thailand, HK: 3%, SG: 2%), many guys have paid up to get some (TH: 62%, HK: 53%, SG: 42%). But if you look on to who is taking cash in exchange for their luvin’, the real whores are the guys! 14% of Thai males admitted to taking cash for sex compared to 1% of Thai girls. In the other two cities surveyed, men are also ahead of girls when it comes to this, but much less so­ (all stats fell between 6% to 10%). This is consistent with what men are ready to do for a promotion. Only 62% would refuse to have sex to climb the corporate ladder as opposed to 82% of women.

Have you ever masturbated at work?

58% of males did, and so did 74% of females.

Ever owned a sex toy?

No surprise here—it’s harder for Bangkokians to get hold of an 8” suction-cup, realistic veins, comes in pink or black, latex piece of fun. While about half of Hong Kongers are fully equipped, and 60% of Singaporeans, 70% of Thais must head to the fresh market or just give up on the idea altogether. What about the other 30%? Well, our readers love to travel, and it seems they like to shop when abroad as well.

Porn

Ever made a sex movie or taken nude photos of with your partner?

Of course!

HK - 56%
SG - 52%
TH - 51%

Ever toyed with S&M?

Yup.

HK - 70%
SG - 74%
TH - 76%

Protection

Places where you had sex

Behind a bar counter	BTS	Car
University classroom	Department store	Kitchen
Library	Back of a motorcycle	Staircase at Paragon
Locker room	Rooftop	Public bathroom

My mother was very angry when I started in the movie business. I was always absent from school, so she asked me to quit. After I’d earned some money and some savings of my own, I went back to school again. I paid for my education to make up for my past behavior.

The most important thing is to love what you do. You see new faces in the entertainment business all the time, but most of them come and go. Maybe those who go just don’t love the work. If you love it, you’ll be able to live with it.

A week or a month of work cannot make anyone a good host. You have to live and learn with it for years, finding out what you lack and learning from the experience. If I hadn’t got to work with hosts like Doo Sunya, I wouldn’t be able to work as I do today. I would still be the same aggressive person.

When I’m at home, I don’t talk that much.

There are actually no books or courses that can really tell you how to be a good host. But in my 20 years of experience, I’ve learned that good work comes from good teamwork.

My shape is never an obstacle. Do I want to be slim and slender? Yes, I do. But audiences open their minds to me; however fat I am, they still accept me.

I agree with the new measure that models must not be too skinny. I’d love to see people looking healthier on the catwalk. Moderation is best. The model business should have changed its values ages ago.

We can all be beautiful in our manner and in the way we act.

One must learn about oneself and look inside one’s heart. That’s meditation. Meditation is another happiness.

I feel my life is complete.

Once I thought that having a child would fulfill my family life, and my husband also wanted a child. But my husband and I discovered that we could be happy together, just the two of us.

I want to leave this world without any worries. I used to be very afraid of death because I didn’t know what would happen to those left behind: who would take care of my husband? And what about my debts? But when I learnt about meditation and started to practice dharma, I was less afraid.

Love for me is friendship. If we feel that someone is our friend, we can live with that person for a long time. If you feel possessive, it can drive you crazy.

Of course every building needs a guard in case of emergency. But what does your job involve while you’re waiting for one to happen?
Well, I have several tasks, really: helping anyone who needs information, controlling the entry of visitors, holding the lift—as you can see, it’s pretty old. I do any number of things that need doing in a big building like this. And, of course, I’m here in case there’s a problem.

So has there ever been a problem?
Not really, I’m happy to say. The biggest problem is trying to sweep merchants off the steps in front of the building.

How long have you been doing this job?
About two years now. I’m only 22, and I was a monk before I started here. This job takes up almost all of my time: we have to keep the building under surveillance 24/7. I don’t get paid leave or weekends off, but I can take a couple of days off here and there if my boss agrees to it.

Have you seen anything of interest out on the street while you’re keeping watch?
Sadly not. Occasionally there’s a small traffic accident, but I haven’t seen anything big. You do see some pretty young ladies out and about, though.

So do you find the work a little boring?
Nobody would describe this as very exciting work. But it’s not bad. At least I get to deal with people every day. I’m not from Bangkok originally, and this is just my first job here. I used to pass time by chatting on the phone, but I was recently told off for that. I’m not allowed to read or listen to music, either.

That is truly terrible. Do you have to remain at your station for hours on end?
Oh no, it’s not as bad as that. In fact, I work in shifts with another guard. We call each other when we want a little break, so I’m not sitting in the same place for more than an hour or so. I’m allowed to take a short stroll from time to time.

So, bought insurance?
As a staff of Underwater World Singapore, I am covered under the company’s insurance. I do have my personal insurance, too.

And what are the safety precautions to take note of?
I have to be properly geared with equipment such as chain mail gloves and wired gloves. When the breeding season approaches, the sharks tend to be rowdier and pushier. At these times, I have to be cautious with certain species of sharks.

What should people do if they get bitten by a shark?
Sharks rarely attack unless they are badly wounded or have been starved for several weeks. In any event, if a shark launches an attack, punch the eyes or the snout region as these actions will startle the shark to release its grip. Seek immediate medical attention.

We heard some sharks lay eggs. Is that true?
Yes, some species do lay eggs inside a pouch, otherwise known as mermaid’s purse. We have a shark embryo exhibit where different stages of shark development are displayed.

Which is your favorite shark movie?
Jaws! The Great White is a magnificent animal with awesome power and stealth. However, it was portrayed in a negative way. Great Whites don’t really have a liking for humans.

A burning question: Do you eat shark’s fin?
Yes, although I shouldn’t. All of us are subjected to “The Tragedy of the Commons.”

So what are you listening to right now?
A very simple but effective track by G2 called “Supernatural.” This track just keeps you on a level for about four minutes and then breaks into an amazing dance track.

What music makes you cringe?
Euro Pop!

What’s your nightmare at a party?
Playing after Tom Middleton, not because he's a bad DJ but because he really gets the crowd high and leaves me with a crowd begging for high octane-energy fueled rave!

Your personal cure for hangovers?
My sofa and the Planet Earth DVD.

Weirdest request you've ever received?
What I think is weird is when someone comes up to me and says “Can you play something I like?” And that’s when I've got a whole dance floor already rocking to my sounds! It happens all the time.

You feel most comfortable in?
A white shirt, a fake tan and a massive medallion around my neck.

The kind of people you love to hang around most?
Farmers and livestock.

You have a soft spot for?
Models!

Complete the sentence. “The one thing that I'll never understand is…”
Why do people always ask for Justin Timberlake when it’s a house night?

Sharanya Manivannan dabbles her fingers in a variety of trades. A promising writer, poet, dancer, actress and photographer, she hails from India and lives in Kuala Lumpur. As she hops over for the reading How to Cook a Wolf, we got her to show us a poem—before you read or hear of it anywhere else.

How to Eat a Wolf

Does all lust start and
end like this? Don't get me
wrong. I loved my wolf.
I held him tethered like
a pussycat. I nursed
the rumble in his belly
with hands gentle as a burglar's.
He lived on milk
and blood and ocean. He
had violets for his furs.

It's just that he was
beginning to devour me.
He nuzzled me with claws.
fondled me with fangs
sharp as yearning
He snaked a tongue so
hungry in its kiss it
turned my body to salt.

How do you douse a
dervish swirl? I asked.
Devour it, you said.

So I fantasised
about eating his balls,
rolling them in semolina
seeds and roasting them
golden. I got blooddrunk
on the thought of the
crisp tender cartilage of his ear,
left to simmer in tequila
and cilantro. The dry teats turned
sweet when baked with cinnamon
applesauce, or drizzled with chocolate.
The tangy musk of austerely steamed eyelid.

I set traps.

Mine is the deepest void,
the deepest void you'll ever know.
And so I lured him to a well.
A wolf can drown in its own
wetness. But mine swam
and lapped and doggypaddled
until I waded back in to get him.

Mine is the darkest smoulder,
the darkest smoulder you'll ever know.
And so I conspired to let him burn.
A wolf can poach in its own juices.
But mine danced on coals and leapt
ablaze, until I pussyfooted back in to get him.

I became desperate.
I preached to my wolf
about suicide, proselytized
about reincarnation. Come back
as a sleepy kitten, I said.
Come back as a hibernating bear.
Come back as a snail with a flag trail of surrender.
But my love was indefatiguable. It was
volcano and oceanic tremor. It was a black lace bra and
too much jazz at 3am.
My love was as big as betrayal.
I pleaded and pleaded until

you finally looked up and said,
You can only kill a wolf
you don't want to have,

and only then did I see that

your love
was exactly
the size of two fists.