All we’ve been hearing (or reading, serious dailies included) about Yingluck is how hot she is. Can’t we see past the hair and the fact she’s a woman? Clearly, the answer is no.Take the lingering fear of Jatuporn. The idea of simultaneously peeing ourselves at the idea of the bogeyman being in government and being secretly aroused by the PM is just too big a mind fuck. Throw in a pair of handcuffs, or maybe even Chalerm in a latex uniform, and we’re like, “Ah-ooh-aaah.” That’s not exactly a cool-headed view of politics.Or when Yingluck promised to boost the B30 healthcare scheme.

Candidates for the upcoming election are slowly crawling out the woodwork. Chuwit is running with his dog. Chart Pattana Puea Pandin Party has enlisted a lot of athletes, oh, and Paradorn. And the Democrat party has promised 30 celebrities on its list of candidates.

While everyone here’s been busy talking about our election (incidentally, is there any other country where a football stadium attracts more supporters for a rally than for a match?), elsewhere in the world everyone seems to be talking about us.The New York Times dropped by for 36 hours and wrote up a little itinerary. Yet while we can’t fault their recommendations (though we do hope that Wild Oats and Kith Café don’t get overrun with tourists just yet...), one glaring error speaks volumes.

Oh boy is this week boring or what? Our offices are at the corner of Silom and Rama 4, and it’s been nearly a year since we’ve heard the sound of gunshots, or opened our windows to the smell of burning tires in the morning. We kind of miss having the managing editor out of our hair: he’d sit on the window sill tweeting every second of the protest: “ROCKETS SHOT! HELICOPTER DOWN!” Then, five minutes later: “Correction: taxi back fired, no helicopters hit.

This May has many Days. First there was Labour Day, then, in quick succession, there’s Vesak Day and Mother’s Day in a couple of weeks. Tomorrow’s Polling Day. And lest you think today’s just any ordinary Friday, think again. Today is Cooling Off Day.Not quite the local equivalent of Songkran (nowhere close, actually), nor a euphemism for quality self-love time. It’s a day (the first time ever in the history of local general elections) set aside for a break from all the electioneering, hustings and hectoring 24 hours before Polling Day.

Dear Pry Ministur,Hello! It Nong Daeng! I am 8. I right to u be four. Daddy say there will be erectschun soon, so may be there will be new PM. If you lose, I hope you get my lettur be four you lose your job! 555Wow, you stay Pry Ministur for a looooong time. Congratchulashuns! Do you get to decide anything or is it tru that my dad say it just the army that decide everyting? If you decide, can you please decide to bomb Kampucha. Kai Ooh say they attack us! Now I am scared. Can we be bomb in Bangkok, too! How far does Kampusha bun bang fai go?

London might have its rain, Johannesburg its crime rates, Vancouver its no fun reputation, but seriously, is there any city in the world with a bigger turn off than Singapore’s taxis? Is there anything that can make human blood boil with such rapidity, can crush hopes and dreams with such bleak and infinite finality as trying and failing to find a cab here at rush hour?Granted, this isn’t a new gripe. And yes, we could try booking ahead more often (although that’s just trading hours waiting by the roadside, for hours waiting for the iPhone app to call us back).

Act 221. The Don’t Even Think About It Act.We hereby declare that it is illegal to think about it. Thinking about it will incur 15 year jail sentences and fines of at least five billion baht per thought.Art 221. a. One is thinking about it when one is not thinking about its exact opposite. To use the argument that one is not thinking about it just because one is not thinking about it is inadmissible in a court of law. Only thinking about not-it counts as not thinking about it. Otherwise, the court will assume you are thinking about it.

(Bangkok, Thailand) Amid the hundreds of road deaths and countless damaged livers this Songkran, three young women showed off their bare breasts in Silom, creating a storm of reprobation. “It hurts the image of Thailand, in particular Silom,” roared Bangrak District Office director Surakiat Limcharern.Silom, a popular destination for sex tourists, is well-known for its raunchy shows featuring boys engaging in anal penetration while swinging from monkey bars and women shooting ping pong balls from their vaginas. Why the outrage, then?

A recent rally against the infamous Samantha’s on air rant against uncultured heartlanders lowering the tone in Holland V failed to attract more than 100-odd participants. (So damn disorganized those heartlanders!) This despite almost 3,000 people ticking the “I will be attending box” on Facebook.