As the parliamentary session reopens, there’s been a worrying surge in cases of depression among politicians. With the help of that friend who is a really good listener, and armed with some pop psychology we read on the back of an organic OJ carton, BK has created this short self-test quiz so our new MPs can identify if it’s time to start popping the Prozac.1. Do you feel miserable and sad? Do you ever feel like it’s constantly raining? Do your feet feel wet after lunch?2. Are you feeling indifferent about the opening of the new parliamentary session?

Time was when two dimensions were enough. When a flat representation of an object would suffice because, well, you know, we’re human and we have imaginations and memory and the capacity to learn and everything, and can picture what something might look and feel and taste and smell like without having to be hit over the head with it. Humans aren’t even the only ones with that skill, you know.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to Money Talk, the Board of Investment’s new financial advice column in BK Magazine. Our team will answer all your cash queries for free! Come on, this is going to be so much fun! Here’s our first question, from AV, in Bangkok:Dear Board of Investment: The army put my government in power so I thanked them by doubling their budget. Now, I’m on the way out and I’d like to express my appreciation one last time with the government’s expense account. Are flowers and chocolates OK? – AVOh come on, AV, please. Flowers and chocolates?

What was notable about Army Chief General Chan-ocha’s comments last week regarding Defense Minister candidates?a. The fact that he’d managed to wait eleven whole days after theelection before “breaking his silence.”b. His use of a metaphor, likening the job to a piece of candy being passed around, made us realize that soldiers are actually sensitive poetic-types.c. His concern that the country might be in danger if the army isn’t given lots more guns.d.

The controversial decision to spend $12m buying three full-sized dinosaur skeletons. The ripping up of miles of metalwork along the old railway line. And the still hazy detail surrounding the River Safari. Coincidence? We think not. It’s time to reveal the big secret to the world: Jurassic Park is coming, folks! How else to explain the endless rehearsals for National Day?

How fitting that here in our sun-drenched little country, the three aspiring Presidential candidates are all called Tan. Tony Tan, Tan Kin Lian and Tan Cheng Bock. Tan, Tan and more Tan. Whatever we do, whatever precautions we take, we’re going to end up with a Tan. Ironic, too, that the outgoing President has a surname that could easily be misheard as No Tan. How must he feel now? It’s Tantamount to insurrection!So much for rules on campaigning; what it seems we really need are government-mandated umbrellas, guaranteed shade, complimentary after-sun lotion on ice.

Greetings minions and plebians. It is I, Lin Ping, the Magnificent, the Omnipotent, the Plenipotentiary. Come on, you remember! I’m the cute one on Channel 23 all day. Bow down before my adorableness.So I guess you’ve heard the news by now. You silly mortals have been granted a special privilege. That’s right, I’m expecting a little sibling. A new heir to carry on my legacy, even if I do get kicked out of the country for good like those mysterious voices keep threatening.Of course you are all going dutifully crazy about her arrival. And I understand.

Dear Singapore Land Authority (SLA) and Urban Redevelopment Authority (URA),First things first. Have you ever considered formally combining forces? You could be the Urban Redevelopment of Singapore’s Undeveloped Land Authority, or URSULA for short.Now on to more serious matters. It has come to our attention that you have recently come into possession of a rather special plot of land.

Dear Pry Ministur,Hello. I am Daeng, 8. You don't know me but I rite to all the pry ministur. Even when they stay only 2 year like apisit. Congratshulashuns! Did you know you are the first lady pry ministur? Well you are not really pry ministur yet but you get a lot of votes so I think you win.I feel sorry for apisit too a little bit. Can he still visit at government house? He must be very sad. I lost for class president to a gurl and I was very angry. I know gurls can be airplane pilot and everything but it really suck when a gurl beat you at something.

Note #1. Found left in the photocopier at our office.I have been drinking since Friday night despite the alcohol ban. (I stocked up and know a few places that have big tea pots.) If you find me, in a gutter or passed out on the BTS, please take me to the voting booth in ______________ district and help me vote for _______________.Note #2. Found in a five-star hotel’s toilets.I can’t be bothered to go vote and my Sunday brunch is set to finish super late. I’m hereby delegating my electoral privileges to my maid, Noo.