No problem is too big, no fetish too weird, for our panel of relationship gurus.

Question 1:
After a heated argument with my boyfriend of three years, I ransacked his overnight bag and found receipts from men’s spas and gay bars. I also found pictures on his phone of him posing with a rather good-looking man. How am I supposed to react to this?

Dr. Norman Li As a three-year relationship partner, you’ll need to ask him what’s going on! Try to keep calm though; if he has been struggling with his sexual orientation for quite a while, he may not want to disclose anything to a hostile girlfriend. Research shows that men tend to be “gay, straight or lying”—they tend not to be sexually aroused by both men and women. So if he’s gay, your relationship is probably not going to work out in the long run.

David Tian, Ph.D. If a man is frequenting gay spas and bars and hiding that fact from his girlfriend, then the chances that he is gay are very high. Now the only question is whether he’s still interested in women too. I suggest you sit down with your boyfriend and discuss honestly and openly with him what you’ve found and how you feel about it. If you can be happy with a bisexual boyfriend, and if he still feels sexually attracted to you and to women in general, then this might work out for you, after all. But prepare for a rocky ride ahead.

Mrs. Ivy Singh-LimIf you can’t also love the beast in the person with you, you have two choices: Send it to the zoo or kill it. Life is too short and too beautiful. Why all the wasted energy to check on him? Use it for a better f**k.

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