BANGKOK

Army United

Formed: circa 1964 (Renamed Army United in 2011)
Stadium: Army Stadium, Din Daeng, 02-271-2062.
Nickname: Green Army / Soldiers
Best Player: Tatree Singha
Website: www.rtafan.com
Main Sponsor: Acer
Army finished at the bottom in 2010, a full ten points from safety, but find themselves still in the TPL after sailing through the play-offs. There’s no reason to suspect they’ll do much better this season. Finishing in 15th place (one spot above the relegation zone) will be an achievement.

BEC Tero Sasana F.C.

Formed: 1992
Stadium: Thephasadin Stadium, Pathumwan, 02-262-3800.
Nickname: Fire Dragons
Best Player: Teerathep Winothai
Website: www.becterosasana.in.th
Main Sponsor: 3K Battery
Tero have signed a dozen players during the close-season as they try to assemble a squad capable of putting the club back among the big boys. The four-time champions have faded in recent years but should be able to improve on their ninth-place finish of 2010. Losing top scorer Anon Sangsanoi to Muang Thong is a big blow, though.

Thai Port F.C.

Formed: 1967 as Port Authority of Thailand F.C. (Renamed Thai Port in 2009)
Stadium: PAT Stadium, Khlong Toey, 02-671-9250.
Nickname: Port Lions / Khlong Toey Army
Best Player: Jirawat Makarom
Website: www.thaiportfc.com
Main Sponsor: FB Battery
There’s never a dull moment at Thai Port. The 2009 FA Cup and 2010 League Cup winners have been plagued by crowd trouble and distracted by a financial dispute between the club and the Port Authority. They finished fourth in 2010 largely thanks to Sarayoot Chaikamdee’s goals. But ‘Jo Five Yards’ has moved on to Bangkok Glass, and TP have lost several other key players. With their vociferous support, the orange and blues can beat anyone on their day—but they may have to settle for a lower league position in 2011.

Pathum Thani

Bangkok Glass

Formed: 2006 (bought out Krung Thai Bank F.C in 2009 to get a place in the TPL)
Stadium: Leo Stadium, Pathum Thani, 02-834-7000.
Nickname: The Glass Rabbits
Best Player: Kunihiko Takisawa
Website: www.bangkokglassfc.com
Main Sponsor: Leo
BG will look to improve on their fifth-place finish in 2010. They were the ante-post title favorites of many last year but they never came close to troubling Muang Thong. The close-season capture of Thai Port’s Sarayoot Chaikamdee will give them more potency up front and they should do better in 2011.

Insee Police United

Formed: 1960 as Royal Thai Police. (Renamed Insee Police United in 2010)
Stadium: Thammasat Stadium, Rangsit, Pathum Thani, 02-564-4425.
Nickname: The Policemen
Best Player: John Wilkinson
Website: www.pufc.co.th
Main Sponsor: Insee
The Policemen finished eleventh in 2010, seven points above the relegation zone. A host of close-season signings suggest that they are setting their sights higher in 2011. Hugely experienced and free-scoring midfielder John Wilkinson—a Singaporean international player with 30 caps—was a surprising yet inspired acquisition.

Nonthaburi

Muang Thong United

Formed: 1989
Stadium: Yamaha Stadium, Nonthaburi, 02-508-8100 ext. 8810.
Nickname: Twin Qilins
Best player: Kawin Thamsatchanan
Website: www.mtutd.tv
Main Sponsor: Yamaha
The 2009 and 2010 TPL champions are still the team to catch, but the Thai football world was rocked by the shock sacking of head coach Rene Desaeyere in early January. Clearly, it can’t be for what happened on the pitch and rumors suggest it was for behind-the-scenes disagreements over transfer policy. Whatever the reason, he’s gone, making retaining the title a stiffer challenge in 2011. The capture of the prolific Anon Sangsanoi is an important signing. If he can continue his scoring feats then MTU could be celebrating a third straight championship.

TOT-CAT F.C.

Formed: 1957 as Telephone Organisation of Thailand F.C (Renamed TOT-CAT in 2010)
Stadium: Chaeng Wattana Stadium, Lak Si, Bangkok / Yamaha Stadium, Nonthaburi), 02-580-6026.
Nickname: The Phoenixes
Best Player: Tomas Kozar
Website: www.tot-catfc.com
Main Sponsor: TOT-CAT
TOT is a club which seems to defy the laws of gravity in the TPL but can expect to seriously struggle this season. A messy legal wrangle between TOT Telecommunications and CAT Telecom—which saw TOT given full control over the football club—was only sorted out in late January. They’ve lost their president and some of their best players; they’ve signed no one and still don’t know where they’re going to be playing in 2011. Definite relegation candidates.
For analysis of the chances of all the TPL teams, don’t miss our new football blog at www.bkmagazine.com.

1. Adidas F50, B4,990.
2. Adidas F50 adizero, B7,690.
3. Umbro GT CUP, B1,990.
4. Nike Control 360, B6,500.

1. B1,550, Nike

2. adidas, B3,990

3. Nike, B1,950

4. adidas, B4,990

5. New Balance Sonic 574, B3,250

6. Puma, B3,495

7. Baby-G, G-Shock, B6,900

8. B2,690, adidas

Essentials

Vii Athletic Club. Siam Square Soi 1, 084-705-7744. www.viiathleticclub.com
Supersports. Try 3/F, CentralWorld, 02-640-7000.

Most credit cards claim to offer substantial benefits to travelers, such as insurance, miles and concierge services. Here we’ve compared some of the top travel cards with some more humble options (at the bottom of the chart). Many of these cards work on a similar premise: You spend money, you get points or miles in exchange. These points can be exchanged for air tickets. For example, every time you spend B20 with a Citibank Royal Orchid Plus Platinum Select card, you acquire one point, which is equivalent to one mile on THAI Airways’ Royal Orchid Plus (ROP) program. Now, you’d need at least 15,000 miles for a domestic rountrip, 25,000 miles just to go a bit further, such as Singapore. Hence, you’d have to spend B300,000 with this card to get this “free” domestic trip (a lot of taxes and conditions also apply on such tickets). Still, for big spenders, these cards can be seriously tempting. Find out which one works for you.

1. Hershey’s (RUNNER UP)

B29/40g
A pretty complex flavor. Some tasters said it tasted floral; others said coffee and others still felt it reminded them of a rich chocolate cake. Pretty delicious and not too creamy either.

2. Meiji

B39/45g
We were a bit surprised to discover (after the blind taste test) that this was Meiji, as we had high expectations for the Japanese chocolate. It has a rich, dark color, but was really milky and sweet, with a weird synthetic taste

3. Frey

B25/35g
Extremely milky, with an interesting, not altogether unpleasant, smokey note. One of our tasters said it was like toasted bread with condensed milk. Despite the milky taste, though, the melt was less creamy and more grainy. Go figure.

4. Van Houten

B30/50g
It may have a fancy European name, but the taste here is definitely very Milo-esque—that is, more malt that chocolate, despite a very slow melt.

5. Dars

B42/50g
We’re huge fans of their dark chocolate offering, but were a bit confused by this milk chocolate. There was very little chocolate taste, but if you’re into caramel, it did have a lot of that. It melted very creamily, too.

6. Dove (WINNER)

B35/43g
Delish! Maybe we’re all secretly partial to dark chocolate because although Dove Milk Chocolate doesn’t have any of that intensity and bitterness, the milk here was very measured and served to help the slow, sensuous melt in our mouths, without interfering too much with the chocolate.

7. Dairy Milk

B29/40g
A refined sugar overload happening here; again, more caramel-heavy than chocolate, and the melt feels weird, too, very grainy on our tongues. We can’t help but imagine that the grains are bits of sugar. Ew.

Couleurs Sur Paris

Rating 3/5
Nouvelle Vague/Kwaidan Records
The French supergroup Nouvelle Vague’s fourth studio album Couleurs sur Paris (Colors on Paris) pays tribute to their angsty punk roots and the economic bitterness of 80s Europe in subtle yet inspiring fashion. In collaboration with current French chart-toppers such as Yelle, Vanessa Paradis, Cocoon and Camille, the band delivers a flowing, free-spirited sound. Tracks like “Ophélie” featuring Yelle and “Sandy Sandy” featuring Soko are perfect for that café session playlist. ZA

Live in London

Rating 3/5
Regina Spektor/Sire
The beauty of live music recordings lies in the fact that they capture all the flaws and intensities that happen on stage which studio recordings rarely do. Ditto Regina Spektor’s sold out 2009 concert held at London’s HMV Hammersmith Apollo. From the soaring to the brittle, Spektor’s voice is a thing of curious beauty, floating between the likes of Tori Amos and Joanna Newsome—resulting in one of the most affecting live recordings to date. There’s even a bonus concert DVD to enhance your listening experience. TO

Star of Love (Bonus Edition)

Rating 3/5
Crystal Fighters/Love Da Records
One might think that fusing traditional Basque folk music with contemporary electronic vibes is just crazy talk. So Spanish band Crystal Fighters’ debut album Star of Love is a little crazy, but that only makes their Animal Collective-ish left-field, Major Lazer-ish reggae, Derrick May-ish house vibe and a little Sepultura-ish ripping riffs all the more interesting. An erratic fusion of genres is melded with melodies of traditional Basque folk music in their distinctive lo-fi flavor. Highly recommended cheer-up material. ZA

The Party Ain’t Over

Rating 5/5
Wanda Jackson / Nonesuch
You can never put a good woman down, and you sure as hell can’t put Wanda Jackson down! The rockabilly music queen proves that, at 73, she still has the growls and grit to put her contemporaries to shame. Of course, she has only the best support, from the likes of Jack White (The White Stripes) producing and veterans like T-Bone Burnett on backup. From the rousing openers “Shakin’ All Over” (filled with guitar jams so powerful, it might just blow your speakers) and “Rip It Up” to the kitschy “Rum and Coca Cola,” Jackson is ready for blast off. TO

1. She won’t be able to resist this unique and adorable gyoza-inspired clutch bag made from nylon and rhinestones. $279 at alldressedup.
2. Show how much your partner means to you with this elegant Emporio Armani watch, $555, at Takashimaya Department Store.
3. Tired of your man misplacing his tie? Then present him with this sleek Philippi Tie Box. $56 at The Wright Gift.
4. Select from a vast range of quality wallets (from $420) and accessories (from $320) available at Tod’s.

alldressedup, #03-01 ION Orchard, 2 Orchard Turn, 6509-3089. | Takashimaya Department Store, 391 Orchard Rd., 6738-1111. | The Wright Gift, #04-02 ION Orchard, 2 Orchard Turn, 6509-8220. | Tod’s, #01-48 Paragon, 290 Orchard Rd., 6738 3323.

The buzz: One of the most popular labels at the now defunct Blackjack finally has a standalone store in town, and about time too.

The vibe: Cute, quirky and casual—just like its collection. Like the rest of the Club 21 establishment (which runs the label here), careful consideration has been given to display. The goods are neatly hung or folded for easy browsing—check out the inimitable dollhouse-inspired interior on the right upon entering where more luxe pieces can be found; the left portion of the boutique is where the bags and accessories are showcased.

The goods: Those who are familiar with the label’s always colorful ready-to-wear range will be glad to know that the Spring/Summer 2011 selection is more fun than ever. Highlights include the slim knit dress with trompe l’oeil printed sailor collar ($660), midi length dresses with vivid colors of pink and lime green paired with bold hand-drawn black lines ($360), and the Singapore exclusive black blouse with printed gold motif ($390).

Why you’ll be back: Even if you’re not a true blue fan of the label, the store’s cheerful vibe and irresistible collection will perk you up anytime. 

#01-31 Forum The Shopping Mall, 583 Orchard Rd., 6304-1451. Open daily 11am-7pm.

8 Tuesday
Did last Thursday’s French joke sail over your little tête? Perhaps you need some lessons in the language of love. Fortunately, Alliance Francaise (1 Sarkies Rd., 6737-8422) offers beginner’s classes all week long. OK, so you’ve only got time to learn a few words, but trust us, they could make all the difference when next Monday rolls around. Besides, if you’ve got this far without a life partner, perhaps you need a little help distinguishing the masculine from the feminine.

9 Wednesday
What went wrong last Wednesday? You hit up the ladies nights and all you had to show for it was a hangover the size of Kota Kinabalu. Time for a different approach. Head over to one of the city’s latest hip hangouts—A Curious Teepee (#02-24 *scape, 2 Orchard Link, 6820-1680) perhaps, or else the new PS Café (#02-02, 45 Ann Siang Rd., 6222-3143)—and spark up a conversation with someone who’ll actually remember you in the morning. And we all know indie folk have no qualms about putting out on the first date.

10 Thursday
Even if you’ve now got yourself a date, there’s no way of telling what’ll happen on the big night. Time to think like a Boy Scout and be prepared. Your banter’s honed, your tummy’s toned. You’ve fixed your look and learned to cook. Yet all of that will be for naught if you let the other party down in the bedroom. Worried you won’t deliver? Then it’s time to call for back-up. Once you’re done with work, head over to House of Condom (#B1-12 & #B1-01 Lucky Plaza, 304 Orchard Rd., 6735-6360) and pick up some sex toys. Do not, under any circumstances, leave them lying in plain view around the house. Oh, and 50 press-ups when you get home.

11 Friday
It’s getting close now. People asking you what your plans are. Colleagues looking at you like you’re a lost cause. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Hit up the personals section on Craigs List (http://singapore.craigslist.com.sg/) when they’re looking the other way. You’ll have to filter through a ton of junk messages; but then, that’s pretty much the definition of an office job already. Who knows what you might find? Man seeks woman. Woman seeks man. Pre-Op Dominatrix Chinese — t4m — 35 — (In My Dungeon). That last one is real, by the way. Good luck with that.

12 Saturday
Plans tonight? Cancel them. Friends can wait. Family can be forgotten. There’s only one place you need to be and that’s the One Lucky Duck Arty Party at My Art Space (#04-41, 21 Tanjong Pagar Rd.). OLD (ignore the unfortunate acronym) specialize in creating opportunities for singles, and what better way to bond with someone than by working together to create a piece of art (you remember the pottery scene in Ghost, right?). Hopefully you’re reading ahead here, as you should have booked this by Thursday. Log on to www.oneluckyduck.com.sg or call 6698-0903 to do so.

13 Sunday
You’ve got to back yourself. Even if last night was a washout, there’s still a chance The One could be lurking in the cubicle next to you at work tomorrow (after all, that’s where they found him in The Matrix). Assume tonight will be your last one sleeping alone, and prep the house so that anyone who does stay over will be impressed. Don’t waste time cleaning; hire Amahs on Wheels (#07-08 Wintech Centre, 6 Ubi Rd. 1, 6837-2708) to do it for you. While they’re hard at work hiding the vibrators you forgot to stash away, head out to Iwannagohome (#01-35/36 Great World City, 1 Kim Seng Promenade, 6737-8858) and King & King Wong (#04-13/14/73/74/75 NEX Shopping Mall, 3 Serangoon Central, www.kingnkingwong.com) and pick up some affordable designer homeware to spruce up your living room. On your way back, be sure to pick up a bottle of Champagne. It’s so much classier than inviting someone in for coffee.

14 Monday
Step 1: Call in sick. There’s no point making today any more stressful than it needs to be.
Step 2: Put that Champagne on ice. Warm bubbly just won’t cut it. 
Step 3: Spend the day doing something you love.
Step 4: Head home and think back on the fun you’ve had. Admire your newly decorated house, your washboard abs and your slick new wardrobe. 
Step 5: Think of how little you’d have achieved in the last two weeks if you had a partner tying you down. God, it’s good to be single, isn’t it? (You didn’t give that restaurant a real credit card number for the deposit, now did you?)
Step 6: Open Champagne. Drink.

1 Tuesday

Love Wars—Episode 4: A New Month, A New Hope. Finding time to get a date when you’re stuck in the office can be tough, but you can still put the time to good use. Practice your conversation skills around the water-cooler (it’s probably the one place where “do you come here often?” might raise a smile), and polish your Facebook profile, so that anyone you meet between now and V Day doesn’t run a mile. Delete that photo of you throwing up. And the one of you kissing another girl. (Ladies, ignore that last tip.)

2 Wednesday
Tonight is ladies’ night all across town, and if a better formula for guaranteed action has been invented we’ve yet to come across it. Today of all days, it’s important not to skip breakfast, to eat a healthy lunch and at least have a snack before you leave the office: Tonight, you must be less drunk than the person you’re talking to. If you’re a guy, that’s not going to be hard, given the deals ladies enjoy. 
Over at Attica (#01-03 Clarke Quay, 3A River Valley Rd., 6333-9973) a complimentary glass of rosé Champagne awaits as part of their “Guilty Desires” night. Meanwhile, Stereolab (G/F Pan Pacific Hotel, 7 Raffles Blvd., 6337-0800) is “Souled Out,” with girls on freeflow premium housepours and Champagne all night long, and guys lapping at their heels for just $28. At Zirca’s “Lollipop” (3C The Cannery, River Valley Rd., 6235-2292), you can reminisce over your favorite ‘80s songs, with free entry for the ladies and five complimentary drinks. 
Just try to resist the temptation to take your newfound partner home tonight. Ask them for their number, suggest a date in just over a week’s time, then walk away. Do not look back.

3 Thursday
Time to smarten up. Use your lunch-hour wisely. But don’t overdo it; it’s a date you’re aiming for, not a wedding. Both Ted Baker (#01-132/134 VivoCity, 1 Harbourfront Walk, 63769498) and Dresscode (#01-07 The Cathay, 2 Handy Rd., 67324606) have a great range of casual, yet stylish menswear. For the ladies, Morgan de Toi (#02-25/27 Wisma Atria, 435 Orchard Rd., 6737-9475) and Surrender (#02-31 Raffles Hotel Arcade, 328 North Bridge Rd., 6733-2130) will bring a certain je ne sais quoi (mais voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir?) to your look. Make your purchases now, so that if they need alterations or exchanging you can get it done on time. Nothing says last-minute purchase quite like a shirt or skirt that’s too tight.

4 Friday
Ten days, friends. Ten days is all you’ve got. But just think what can happen in 10 days. The world was made in less. You’re going to be tempted to join the crew for drinks after work tonight. Politely decline—you have more important things to do. At 7pm you’re taking a beginner’s salsa class for only $20 per session at Jitterbugs (#B1-08 The Cathay, 2 Handy Rd., 6887-0383). It’s sexy, sensual and best of all it requires a partner. Who knows who you might meet? And it’s yet another string to your conversational bow; potentially even something you can do after the big dinner winds down. Best of all, at 9pm tonight you can join Jitterbug’s Latin Fiesta—a fun social gathering that’s completely free if you’ve taken a class on the day.

5 Saturday
You haven’t been to the gym once, have you? Don’t panic. Heed the words of Tim Ferriss, whose new book The 4 Hour Body ($32 from Kinokuniya, #03-09/10/15 Ngee Ann City, 391 Orchard Rd., 6737-5021) distills all kinds of crazy science to prove that long workouts and mammoth training regimes are a waste of time. Given that nine days from now you may find yourself in a situation that requires removing your clothes, what to do if you don’t want the other party to run screaming from the room? Myotatic crunches, that’s what. Stop trying to be Patrick Bateman with his 1,000 sit-ups a night, and use this technique to build those abs by working their full range of motion. Ferriss reckons he could see a difference in just three weeks. But trust us, we’ve tried them and you’ll feel a difference after just one session. And if you feel good, you’re halfway to looking great. Find out more at http://tinyurl.com/myotatic.

6 Sunday
Treat yourself to a lie-in. You deserve it. But once you’re awake, don’t just lie there with one hand idly between your legs; the lawn needs mowing. Pink Parlour (#03-19 Orchard Central, 181 Orchard Rd., 6100-8266) offers both Brazilian ($52) and Boyzilian ($73) waxing services. Best not to leave it until next weekend—no-one likes looking at chickens that have just been plucked.
Take your mind off of what just happened by joining the Chinese New Year Pubbing Night put on by Champagne JSG (www.champagnejsg.com). It costs $65, but it’s for singles only, making it money well spent.

7 Monday
Most people take the first night of the week off. Not you. You’re off to Nutri-Style (20 Ridley Park, 6887-5220) for some professional image consultation. A one-off private session lasts one and a half hours and costs $250. You’ll learn everything you need to know about style, from grooming and tailoring to body language and etiquette. The important thing is that you still have seven days to practice. This time next week you’ll be able to charm the pants off someone just by looking straight at them (just put down the binoculars first).

NEXT: February 8-14 / BACK