How did you start doing this job?
I was a monk until I was 25. Then I got a bachelor’s degree and a job working at the Bangkok Post. I first became interested in black magic after I discovered many people posting on the internet wanting someone who could use black magic to help them bring back their lost love, or something similar. My dad is a proficient Khmer master in Buriram, so I started learning from him. I then found another master who started to teach me. I’ve been studying magic for about 10 years now.

How do you perform your magic?
I started about three-four years ago. I only deal with the benevolent side of black magic, like breaking spells that have been put onto people or helping to bring back old lovers. For old lovers I will make wax dolls of the two people, then I will recite an incantation over them. I will only do this at night because it’s easier to call the person’s mind to inhabit the dolls when people are sleeping. To help break black magic spells, I will give people holy water to drink or bathe with. The length of time the rituals take to work ranges widely from three days to two weeks.

How does it help people?
For lovers, it will help bring back their lost love. I do this only for people who are a couple already. I won’t help a mistress or an adulterer who wants to steal back another person’s husband or wife. For breaking black magic spells, it should help the person who has been cursed return to normal. I’ve never failed in breaking a curse.

Have you had any supernatural experiences?
Never, but my dad has lots because he’s so proficient in the magical arts. He can see which black magician has cast a particular spell on someone. He also see the ghosts that the black magicians send to stop us from helping people.

What do other people think about your job?
Most of my colleagues admire me. They realize that only a few people can do this. The good thing is, I can help those who are regularly tricked by swindlers.

Will you pass your skills on to someone else?
Not really. I am not that proficient—yet.

How much do you earn?
My fees start from B3,332 to place charm magic on your forehead. It costs B3,900 to bring back lovers and my prices start from B8,000 to break black magic.

What do you say to skeptics who don’t believe in your magical powers?
This type of magic has been around since Buddha’s lifetime, so it’s definitely real. Still, you don’t have to believe it until you try it.

Samruay can be reached at 086-600-4288.  www.kunsai2009.tht.in

How did you start doing this job?
I got interested in this field as a kid. I used to be bullied by other kids at the temple where I was a young novice. One day I had an irresistible urge to fight back against the bullies. A monk in the temple saw my reaction and invited me to learn about tattoo magic with him. I went on to study communication arts and marketing at university but reamined interested in tattoo magic. I travelled all over the country to learn from the great tattoo masters. I started tattooing for my close followers first and then created the Thai Tattoo Preservation Club.

How do you perform your work?
Basically I tattoo the client based on the specific ambition that he or she wants to achieve. Each tattoo pattern offers different charms or magic. For example, the Suea Liaw Lang [tiger turning back] can bring you success and make you more charming or appealing. The client can opt for a proper tattoo with ink or an invisible one using herbal oils.

How can a tattoo help someone?
It helps improve the area of life that the particular tattoo covers. So for example, a salesperson who wants to charm clients and make higher sales may want the magical power of my Salika Linthong (golden tongue bird) tattoo. The magic comes from the chants I do while I am doing the tattoo and the power of the god or creature that the tattoo features.

Are there any side effects? Can the tattoo not work?
Of course. We have rules that clients have to follow, like not eating meat on Buddhist holy days. They also have to pray for the god master who will protect them through the tattoos. If they don’t follow these rules, then it might not work.

Have you had any supernatural experiences?
Always. I used to follow a master who was famous for being invulnerable. One day I tried to follow him and find out his secret and learn his power. He knew I was there so he stopped and picked up a random rock lying on the ground. He blew on it whispering an incantation and then gave it to me saying, “Because you want proof that I’m real.” I decided to test his powers by holding the rock and asking one of my friends to shoot at me. He took aim and fired, but the gun he used just exploded in his hand.

Will you pass this skill on to the next generation?
I’ve tried but I can’t find the right student at the moment. They have to have good karma, natural ability, patience and virtue.

How much do you earn?
My tattoos start from B999 but can be thousands of baht depending on the design. I don’t do many, though, as I am only open for tattooing three days a week. The rest of the time I do my other businesses, which covers everything from jewelry exports, to secondhand cars and amulet selling.

How much of your talent is training and how much is a natural gift?
It has to come together. Some people have tried for years but can’t achieve the same power in their tattoos as I can . Those who have the gift will progress and learn faster.

What do you say to skeptics who don’t believe in your magical powers?
People nowadays aren’t stupid. They can analyze what is true or not. Lord Buddha’s teaching have been around for 2,500 years: the story has been rewritten over and over again but that doesn’t stop people from believing. So why do people think magic doesn’t exist? Our ancient masters created this to protect, not harm. It’s people who make it black or white magic—not the magic.
Ajarn Suea can be reached at 089-448-8422, www.importancetattoo.com

Q&A: The Customer

Narachai Atthapassorn, 29, a chef at the Radisson Hotel, comes to visit the tattoo master again after he had his first tattoo three years ago.
How was the first outcome?
Before I got the tattoo, my life really sucked for a long time. I was a cook for years. I saw no opportunities to become a chef. At some point, I lost my job as well. I researched on the internet and found Ajarn Sue so I decided to get a tattoo with him. After I got the tattoo, Sue Liawlang [tiger looking back], my life got incredibly better. Out of nowhere, I got a call from the Radisson Hotel to test to be their chef and I got it. I swore that I never sent any application to them before. I also attracted more girls too!

Why do you come back?
I am opening my own restaurant and I want it to be successful. So I just came back to ask him to give me more good tattoos.

I was born in Myanmar and raised by my grandmother in Chiang Mai. My Burmese name means brightness. My dad was Burmese but we didn’t spend much time together. He used to be a doctor and a missionary who traveled a lot.

I was sent to the US when I was 14 because of my bad behavior. I skipped school and went out with seniors who did drugs. I did drugs too, but I wasn’t addicted. I just loved going out instead of school.

My grandmother tried to take me go to church where I learned to play guitar and piano. I didn’t believe there was a God back then. But now, I’m totally a Christian. I read the Bible and talk to God. He’s my father. He always answers my prayers.

I lived with my sister in San Francisco. My mom didn’t send me money so I had to work to study. All the pressures, from family, living expenses and racism at school, made me decided that I had to be a better person and save money.

I met Khan [Thaitanium’s Khan-ngern Nuenual] in high school. We became close because there were only three Thai students at the school. We all loved hip-hop so we made music together and occasionally DJ’ed at parties.

I dropped out because I wanted to make money. I moved to New Jersey and worked at a casino for two years. My mom cried and asked me to continue my education so I carried on studying until I got a certificate in business.

I moved to stay with Khan in New York and we did our first studio album, AA, to distribute in both New York and Thailand in 2000. It got a good response in Thailand so we decided to release our first album as Thaitanium, Thai Riders, in 2002.

I’ve grown up a lot in the ten years since that first album, both in life and in my thoughts. Our songs are like diaries where we collect life experiences.
One thing that we’ve never changed is our identity. We are what we are and believe in what we do. If there is a song that we don’t like, we won’t release it.

I like cooking. If I weren’t a rapper, I would open a 24-hour restaurant where everyone can eat all-day breakfast. I used to work as a sous-chef at a French restaurant in San Francisco. The head chef taught me how to cook every dish on the menu. I loved it.

I plan to do my own cooking show on You2Play. But they’ll be easy recipes to make at home. Thai food is the most difficult because there are so many ingredients to make it delicious. But it’s also the yummiest food in the world!

I also want to do more movies. It’s good to make yourself become someone else. It’s fun. I’ve loved it since my first film, Elephant White. I want to try the role of a killer.

I just finished acting in another international Film, The Lady, directed by Luc Beson. It’s the story of [Myanmar’s pro-democracy activist] Aung San Suu Kyi. It will be out next month.

I disrupted the script a little bit because I couldn’t speak Burmese. I took Burmese lessons for two weeks but I still couldn’t speak it. So they changed the script to English. I play Suu Kyi’s lawyer.

I think sex and drugs are part of hip-hop culture because it attracts people. But honestly it’s just an image.

The hip-hop scene in Thailand has flopped because there aren’t any new bands. Real hip-hop artists also feel discouraged to produce new work because it doesn’t make much money.

The hip-hop scene in Thailand is more like a fashion, not like in the US or Japan where hip-hop is a way of life. It’s not like you dress rock today and dress hip-hop tomorrow. Have your own style and live with it.

Bangkok is like a wild and sexy woman. Anyone who touches her will be fascinated and not want to go anywhere else. Nice food, nice people, beautiful places and cheap, too. You have so much to do from day till night.

I picture myself in the next ten years as a dad. I’ll have a bar on the beach and still do my music.

Three essential tracks for a Halloween-themed bash… Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “Date with the Night,” Unwound’s “Corpse Pose” and Primal Scream’s “Miss Lucifer.”

My Halloween dream costume is… a bunch of grapes with a wee leaf on my head.

If the party was outdoors, it would be at… the top of the hill of MacRitchie Reservoir where everyone can worship the beat of the midnight sun.

Us Against The Sound punters can expect… bass bombs in this party mortuary.

Gear up for Us Against The Sound on October 29, Home Club. Early revelers in full costume get in for free.

How did the idea of incorporating ice for the project come about?
Asif Khan: The catalyst for the research stemmed from a fascinating conversation with a local taxi driver. He was talking about an area called Ice Bridge and I was instantly attracted to the mythical notion of this location.

Memory is such an important facet in this work. What are some personal memories you recollected while working?
Pernilla Ohrstedt: The personal memories that the works evoke for me is my childhood in Sweden spent gazing at ice hotels. They seem rather banal but they certainly had a sense of magic in them. What’s intriguing is how we have gone to primitive ways of using huge blocks of ice in air-conditioning systems now.

How laborious was the entire project?
Asif Khan: The project involved over 3.5 kilometers of rope and over 1,000 knots tied by hand. Ice stacks were specially made by hand. We were fortunate that many hands made light work, which includes the support from the companies involved and the design students helping us to tie the knots.

We heard that the sand used in this project will be re-used by the sponsors. What do you hope will happen to it?
Pernilla Ohrstedt: Hopefully, the sand doesn’t turn into either glass or concrete. It would be great if it is used for land reclamation purposes. We don’t think we would be pleased if it turns into something under another tower block.

The Future Memory Pavilion runs through November 18 at Stamford Green, National Museum.

What’s the biggest occupational hazard of being a popular comedian?
Hot women throwing themselves at me. At one show recently, I even had a mother/daughter combo flash me during the show. Really, ladies, I am married and no amount of your shameless tata flaunting, aggressive flirting or rubbing yourself on me will make me stray. I do encourage you to try your best, however.

Do you look back on your earlier work and wish you hadn’t done some of it?
Comedy is unlike other professions. In medicine, you go to school for years and learn at hospitals before you are actually permitted to do brain surgery. There’s no looking back and saying, “Wow, when I was just starting out, I really sucked at it! Look at all those jagged edges!” On the other hand, in comedy, the audience gets to see all those jagged edges because we learn on the job. So, yes, I watch videos of when I was first starting out and cringe at the string of dead patients. But as comics, we keep growing, so I’ll even cringe at things I did last week.

Most surreal gig?
I once did a show at a birthday party for a dead guy. When I got onstage, I asked the crowd where the birthday boy was and one guy approached me and quietly said, “He’s in the cake.” Being a wiseass, I asked, “Is he going to jump out and say happy birthday to himself?” Then I was informed the birthday boy died the week before and as a tribute, they cremated him and put his ashes in the cake. Gross ... I’ve never had Fred Velvet Cake before.

The Kings & Queen of Comedy Asia 2 runs through Oct 29 at the Esplanade Concert Hall.

My childhood was a blur. It was a lot of books and rote, so the “enlightenment” to a non-traditional, non-established career track in entrepreneurship and fashion came much later in life.

I like to float in the pool and have that sense of weightlessness so that I can think and not get distracted, but honestly, it’s because it’s hard for me to get access to the Internet.

Somebody invent a waterproof e-tablet, please.

I find random inspiration from movies, and the messages I get can range from the overt to the subtle.

I find a lot of fun in making these obscure connections to the things I do. It can be wondering how it is possible to get someone to adopt your idea without telling him to, à la Inception, to a line like “We will give them something they have never seen before,” à la Maximus in Gladiator.

I was dressed in indie-chic ankle-length pants the other day, and some ill-informed club bouncer summarily dismissed me as wearing “berms.” I was distraught, really. Couldn’t sleep for days and had a mini fashion-conscience crisis.

Generally, the more I improve myself as a person contributing to the society or the scene, the happier I am.

My ultimate guilty pleasure is dancing like no one’s looking. Except that state of mind only comes when inebriated, and when that happens, everyone’s really looking.

Last night I crept downstairs and finished a tub full of overnight fried noodles.

Xenophobia, racism and downright ignorance make me sick.

Folks here have to see this world as a global village, and embrace Singapore’s increasing role as the world’s capital. Few civilizations that insist on being insular ever end up lasting for too long.

If I could, I would be Steve Jobs for a day and liberalize the closed iTunes system that has been built so that it went back to the ideals he preached when he was a much younger man.

What he achieved is legendary and has changed human lives forever—many will mourn the loss—but I truly believe that if he had had the opportunity to muster the strength, he would have opened those gates before he passed.

My personal mantra is “In Hoc Signo Vinces”—“In this sign you will conquer,” a Latin phrase immortalized with Roman emperor Constantine I.

My derivation and inspiration from it is: To look out for signs to encourage yourself to go forward down the path you’ve chosen. Don’t ever get distracted by the naysayers, they’re always the loudest.

Thong Lor would seem like it’s an odd place to have a tattoo studio. A tattoo shop is the one thing Thong Lor doesn’t have. It’s become more fashionable to get more tattoos. Before, it was like, only a certain group of people would get them. Most [of what you would see twenty years ago] would be religious tattoos. Now, there are people getting tattoos for fashion and to look good.

What was the first day like?
I get two kids, like two 13-year-old girls, walk in with school uniforms and braces and everything. I’m like, “Oh shit, my first customers!” They wanted to get matching tattoos on their wrists, but didn’t have a clue what they wanted. So I went all Dad on them and told them they were too young and they should really think on it—because a unicorn might not be cool in two years.

What’s the pain like?
It hurts! People always ask me, “How bad is it compared to a pinch?” I tell them, “Man, it’s not even one-tenth of the pain. But it’s not too much, you can take it. After that, you feel so proud.

Do you guys do sak yant tattoos?
Yeah, we do sak yant tattoos, but we don’t give blessings or anything like that. All of them are farang, they came and they give us a specific tattoo. We’ve done about five or six. My friend, a French boxer, he had done four yants. Another guy, British, he got two.

What about all that Culture Ministry talk about how they don’t want these symbols to be commercialized?
I think it seems pretty harsh. Like, the guy that came to me—he’s from England, but he loves Thailand. He loves the culture, everything. He lives here. He even hangs a phra on his neck. Most people that ask for sak yant respect the symbols. It’s a form of art. There are some bad artists, but with good Thai artists, if farangs come in and ask for them in inappropriate spots, then they would tell them a better place to put it.

Kwankhao Sumalee, 23, freelance makeup artist

“Since many Thai people are now practically living like fishermen, I think the PM should reconsider the first-car scheme to be the first-boat scheme instead. “

Parinyaporn Sangsomwong, 24, advertising account executive

“The government should seriously renovate the damaged areas and plan in advance for the future. And the Prime Minister can start modeling for Burberry’s next collection.”

Phonphot Chobnamtan, 33, engineer

“Monitor that all the donations, food, stuff, everything really goes to the right people—all of it.”

Somrak Sila, 32, gallery owner

“How serious is this question? They should explain that it’s not the floods, the world is just sinking and we should just continue building hi-rise condos. And announce that every day is loy kratong day.”

Note Dudesweet, 31, party organizer

“I want them to re-plan the way the water flows and the ‘monkey cheek’ catchments. The water should flow somewhere, not just stay in there. Now that we’ve we learned our geography lesson, we must fix that.”

Hariti Yoshmetha, 25, field engineer

“We shouldn’t wait for help. It’s time we do everything ourselves. First thing I’ll do is try selling all the canned food, especially instant noodle cups, I stocked up on before the flood."

Chardchakaj Waikawee, 29, photographer

“We should brainstorm and figure out how to heal the hearts of Thai people and bring us unity. Right now, everybody is heartbroken.

Ark Saroj, 28, filmmaker

“We should all buy boats. Any kind of boat. At least one per family.”

Yanin Sayabutra, 24, law student

“Reducing taxes and getting rid of water would be my top priorities. Next is adding a special insurance that covers people who were affected from the floods.”

Athipon Mathawikul, 28, advertising communications manager

“Educate people so we’ll have wiser leaders in the next generations.”
 

Some of the funniest people on this planet were known to be manic depressives. What’s your off-stage persona like?
If I had a ringgit for every time a stranger said to me, “Actually, for a comedian, you’re not very funny,” I would have loads of ringgits in my pocket. Being “funny” is a chore and a challenge and (in my case) almost an “on-stage” persona. My off-stage persona is best described with an anecdote: My wife recalls that our first date was, in her words, “probably the most boring date she had ever been on.”

If stand-ups botch their set, what should be their due punishment?
The punishment is inherent in the moment. If we do a bad set the audiences’ non-laughter is enough to make the average person want to run off stage and bury her- or himself under a pile of horse manure. That’s why there are not that many stand-ups as compared to singers because it takes a special sort of stupidity to come back on stage and try doing comedy again after “dying” on stage. And, just like life, one will die at one time or another.

Does humor exponentially increase your mating potential?
Nope. As Eddie Murphy once said; “Singers get all the chicks.” When you hear a woman say, “I like a guy with a sense of humor,” what she means is: She likes the comedian—but she’ll have sex with the singer. So, anyone out there looking to get into the entertainment business for “mating” purposes—sing.

So you didn’t luck out yourself then?
Saying that, my wife is hot! But it’s purely coincidental. And, in our case, she makes me laugh—so, yes, humor is important.

The Kings & Queen of Comedy Asia 2 is on Oct 28-29 at Esplanade Concert Hall.