Question 4:
I’ve been with the same man for a year now and though it hasn’t been that long, I can safely say that I know him well. I know he’s cheating on me—I can feel it in my bones. But every time I question his whereabouts, he accuses me of not trusting him. I end up keeping my mouth shut because I feel guilty and swallow my suspicion only to have it rear its ugly head again when he acts up. Should I start spying?

Mrs. Ivy Singh-Lim If you don’t trust him, find somebody else you can trust. You are the problem—love him as he is and don’t become a victim. Know the beast you are with. What motivates him—his cock or his conscience? Therein lies the answer.

Dr. Norman Li If you A) just can’t let it go, B) would end the relationship if you found him cheating and C) would not spy on him again if you found nothing, then go ahead and spy. Keep in mind that when we date someone more attractive than ourselves, we feel insecure because our partner probably can do better than us if he or she wanted to. If we are constantly suspicious, we are showing our weaker hand.

David Tian, Ph.D. If he’s really been lying to you, merely questioning him about it won’t get him to confess. You will need to do enough digging around to satiate your own suspicions. Until you have solid evidence he is cheating though, you should keep your mouth shut about it as it will do no one any good. If it turns out you were wrong and he is innocent, you had better make it up to him in a very, very big way. Use your imagination.

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