The nonsensical straw-grasping of Singapore’s usual homophobic suspects continued last week, extending to an escalator advertisement for Pink Dot in Cathay Cineleisure Orchard. While Cathay stood by their decision to put up the ad with a mic drop statement, the Advertising Standards Authority of Singapore informed them that it had to be modified. Specifically, they asked that the tagline “Supporting the freedom to love” be removed, referring to the Singapore Code of Advertising Practice stance on “family values”. Who knew that the freedom to love wasn’t a “pro-family” value? As of Jun 12, the ad remains unmodified with Cathay countering that as “the ad belongs to Pink Dot, Cathay is not in the position to decide on the removal of the statement”.

Eight books have been removed from National Library Board (NLB) shelves after they were found to contain controversial content regarding Buddhism, Christianity and Judaism. Part of the Malay-language book series Agama, Tamadun Dan Arkeologi (Religion, Civilization and Archeology), the offending literature is targeted at young readers. NLB has said that it will review its vetting process, and they have our support—after all, they did save the Singaporean way of life from the threats of gay penguins.

Singapore has no shortage of helicopter parents who think that their progeny can do no wrong, but most people here were still disgusted by the actions of one particularly over-zealous father who sued a school principal for confiscating his son’s iPhone for three months. Claiming the phone was his, the man argued that his right to his property was being denied. The principal’s lawyer called his claims "frivolous and vexatious", and the judge agreed, dismissing the father’s request for the immediate return of the phone.

Is it just us or has there been a sudden surge in #fakenews about Singaporean sexual exploits and misadventures? We’ve heard about a man from Hougang who supposedly injured himself while having sex with an oyster, a woman from Bishan who apparently burned her breasts while photocopying them and a Singaporean in Prague who allegedly bedded a record 57 women in 24 hours. None of the stories have any evidence to back them up, of course, and the names of the websites that published them were clearly made up to sound like legitimate news outlets. Enjoy the sheer hilarity of it all, but be aware that you’re probably making some industrious scammers very wealthy.

Singapore is taking on Argentina in a historic football match on Jun 13, but there will be some notable names missing from the Albiceleste line-up. Five-time FIFA Ballon d’Or winner Lionel Messi will miss the clash for “personal reasons”—he’s getting married at the end of the month—along with Juventus striker Gonzalo Higuain and Manchester City defender Nicolas Otamendi. Considering the tepid shift the Lions put in during their 2-1 Asian Cup Qualifier defeat to Taiwan on Jun 10, this might actually be good news. No refunds though.