“Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 is coming out later this year, right? So at least this will only be the 2nd worst vampire-vs.-werewolf movie of 2012.” Anders Wotzke, Cut Print Review

“At least they don’t sparkle.” Rob Vaux, Mania.com

“It’s not awful enough to be considered truly dreadful but it’s just shockingly asleep for a movie subtitled ‘Awakening.’” Brian Tallerico, HollywoodChicago.com

“With Awakening, the vampires-vs.-werewolves Underworld franchise has finally decayed beyond the point of repair.” Nick Schager, Boxoffice Magazine

“Pitiless, puerile, pointless and perfunctory - and those are just the ‘P’s’” Roger Moore, Dallas Morning News

“Yet more vampire-vs.-werewolf battles from the fang franchise that is even more boring than Twilight.” Siobhan Synnot, Scotsman

“The Darkest Hour isn’t just a dark horse contender for the year’s biggest joke, it’s the darkest.” David Ehrlich, Boxoffice Magazine

“An alien invasion flick that evidently expects dramatic shots of a depopulated Red Square to make up for a flatlining screenplay and the absence of even a single compelling character.” John DeFore, Hollywood Reporter

“Really, how slovenly is it to use invisible aliens? If you’re going to tease us with nothing but pinwheels of light for three-quarters of the film, you’d better have one heck of a reveal up your sleeve.” Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times

“A small-scaled, thoroughly predictable War of the Worlds clone devoid of interest except for its Moscow setting, a few neat visual touches and brevity...this year’s lump of cinematic Christmas coal.” Frank Swietek, One Guy’s Opinion

“A popcorn movie for people itching to hate Russians again.” Jim Slotek, Jam! Movies

“5 Days of War seems like an eternity if you are in the audience.” Ron Wilkinson, Monsters and Critics

“Opening with the oft-quoted statement ‘The first casualty of war is truth,’ 5 Days of War should have heeded its own warning.” Marjorie Baumgarten, Austin Chronicle

“5 Days of War retains a visceral punch. A shame it doesn’t have much of a brain.” Brian Orndorf, BrianOrndorf.com

“The plot is culled from a variety of ‘war is hell but I’m covering it anyway’ journalist-in-the-field movies but handled with clichéd clumsiness.” Linda Barnard, Toronto Star

“Renny Harlin used to make ridiculous movies involving pirates or Sylvester Stallone; now he makes ridiculous movies about Putin’s 2008 invasion of the country of Georgia.” Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out New York

“This New Year’s Eve leaves you feeling like you’ve got no one to kiss at midnight.” Dave McGinn, Globe and Mail

“How is it possible to assemble more than two dozen stars in a movie and find nothing interesting for any of them to do?” Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

“Watching Robert De Niro put yet another nail in the coffin of his career is bad enough, but et tu Michelle Pfeiffer?” Jeff Meyers, Metro Times (Detroit, MI)

“If you are surprised by anything in this movie, you need to see more movies.” David Medsker, Bullz-Eye.com

“It is the cinematic equivalent of a greeting card: both the sentiment and the laughs are plentiful, cheap and forgettable.” Kerry Lengel, Arizona Republic

“All too mortal, a film that dies long before its time.” Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel

“Immortals doesn’t lack a sense of wonder. You spend most of the film wondering why they bothered making it.” Dave Golder, SFX Magazine

“Where are the gods of Olympus when you need them? I ask on behalf of Immortals, because mere mortals were apparently not able to create a movie that actually made sense.” Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times

“We can only wonder how much less fighting there would be if these warriors could just find some other hobbies.” Matt Pais, RedEye

“The pity is that Tarsem’s intelligence doesn’t connect his cinematic eye to his narrative mind. The director’s visual gift is like a brilliant retina, detached.” Richard Corliss, TIME Magazine

“When Hyperion says of one character, ‘His pain has just begun,’ you know exactly how he feels.” Ty Burr, Boston Globe

“An impeccably dressed yawnfest.” Dustin Putman, DustinPutman.com

“A home invasion thriller that may set a record for the number of times the characters point loaded pistols at one another’s heads.” Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

“Trespass is a crime, and so is this movie.” Christopher Tookey, Daily Mail [UK]

“When he’s not yelling, Cage for some reason speaks as if he has peanut butter in his mouth.” Matt Pais, RedEye

“As terrible movies go, it’s not unentertaining—once you surrender to its trashmeister idiocy.” Trevor Johnston, Time Out

“Addled by uninspired dialogue and hammy plot twists, it could have used some anti-corporate demonstrators looking for economic parity to add interest.” Tom Meek, Boston Phoenix

“An overheated mess, a thriller with no thrills that allows everyone involved to play up their worst tendencies.” Brian Tallerico, HollywoodChicago.com

“It’s a strange variety of entertainment that hooks you throughout and then leaves you nothing but glad that it’s over.” Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle

“Twilight isn’t a saga, it just sags.” Steve Persall, St. Petersburg Times

“The tagline states, ‘Forever is only the beginning ...’ After viewing this lifeless pap for mere minutes, we realize that it’s not a slogan at all. It’s a warning.” Kimberly Gadette, Doddle

“This latest Twilight is a freakish hybrid: part medical horror, part cheesy Victoria’s Secret catalogue shoot.” Kate Muir, Times [UK]

“Like almost all actresses, [Kristen Stewart] believes pregnant women rub their baby bumps unceasingly.” Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

“Twilight is to real horror as cotton candy is to real food, but only if the cotton candy is spun out of arsenic and crystal meth.” Drew McWeeny, HitFix

“Dirty Girl isn’t. Sorry, but it’s just faux grime, a thin layer of bad behaviour that wipes clean with a two-ply tissue to reveal the real movie beneath—all shiny sentimentality.” Rick Groen, Globe and Mail

“Dirty Girl is much more fun when Danielle is behaving badly. Unfortunately, that only lasts about 20 minutes.” Jeffrey M. Anderson, Common Sense Media

“Social satire, heartbreaking family drama and a lot of toe-tapping 1980s music attempt to exist in the same space. Watching this movie is like eating a hot fudge sundae and lasagna in alternating bites.” Peter Hartlaub, San Francisco Chronicle

“Dirty Girl is a bad movie with no insights that is broadly drawn and genuinely plagued by filthy dialogue. You don’t laugh. You just wince, and wonder how the whole thing ever got financed.” Rex Reed, New York Observer

“With luck, Temple will be able to get this movie expunged from her filmography, like a juvenile offense that is wiped from one’s record when she comes of age.” Marshall Fine, Hollywood & Fine

“If you can’t quite get behind a defiant diva and her queer companion, you’ll find every moment of this motion picture a chore.” Bill Gibron, Filmcritic.com

(USA) Directed by Bruce Robinson. Stars Johnny Deep and Amber Heard.

“The Rum Diary, based on another literary punch-out by gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, was made three years ago, shelved in some musty editing room where unreleasable movies go, and looks it. The dust still shows.”—Rex Reed, New York Observer

“Felt like a movie suffering from a hangover of its own. This may be an attempt to bring an early Thompson work to the screen, but instead of feeling fresh, it has the dispiriting taste of residue.”—Robert Denerstein, Movie Habit

“The Rum Diary is a talky, pretentious send-up of the island-getaway adventure—Graham Greene by way of Donald Trump.”—Glenn Lovell, CinemaScope.com

“In the time it takes to watch The Rum Diary, you could walk halfway across the Isle of Wight.” —Charlie Lyne, Ultra Culture