After feeling like a second-class kid in the country, Nuttawut “Por” Sakidjai moved to Bangkok and became his own inspiration, first working at Channel 7 and then making the bold move of quitting for the opportunity to star in new movie The Moon, opening on Jul 21.

I was born in Petchburi. My parents were both civil servants—my dad is at the Department of Lands, and my mom is a teacher. I was the kind of kid teachers would forget, because I never did anything outstanding or caused any trouble.

I used to feel being a rural student was being second-class. I wanted to be a Bangkok kid. They seemed so cool. But I grew up and had opportunities to go abroad. I feel so grateful and proud about my hometown now.

I never had my own idea about my life. I always followed my friends and back then, I was studying engineering.

I later went to get my MA in England because, again, I followed my friends who also went there. I think 70% of Thai kids are like this, following their friends in everything.

Living in the UK made me see things more clearly. Farangs aren’t better than us. No matter how hard we try to run away or change our roots, in the end, things will get harder. You’ll realize that you just want to eat nam prik.

Life is like a circle. A dream will make you start at one point and you will try to get as high and as far as you can. But once you reach the top of the arc, you want to go back. Many of the people I know all want to go home.

The turning point was when Suppachai Srivichit, a.k.a. P’A [manager of Aum-Patcharapa and Mario Maurer], who was my senior at university, persuaded me to be an actor. I said no at first but later gave in because I couldn’t find a job.

I worked with the fear that I wouldn’t be able to do it for the first five years. I just liked it because it brought me a good income.

I am a businessman of life and this job brought me good money. So I gave it my best, and gradually began to love it more and more. Now I can say that it’s my career. I love it and I am going to do it until I die.

When I decided to move from Channel 7 to Channel 3, I was pretty scared. But I was at the point where I had to make a change and move forward. My contract had ended, and I had fallen in love with my career, so I needed to find new challenges. I’m really thankful to Channel 7, and we created a lot of successful projects together, but I had to chase my dream.

The general response to my move really destroyed my spirits. I used to get only good comments but now I got 50-50. I was really drawn into all the criticism on the internet. Luckily, my family and my girlfriend pulled me out of that hole.

When you’re happy, everything is good. But when you’re down in dumps, it’s easy to tell who is on your side and who isn’t.

You can’t expect love from others but you can expect love from the ones you love.

Criticism on the internet is too aggressive. There’s no sense of junior and senior. You spit out your words, and you don’t have to take responsibility for it. Live your life by love, not hate. Criticizing others doesn’t give you anything, just satisfaction.

People might think I am an action actor but the truth is I really hate fighting, speed and heights.

One reason I decided to leave Channel 7 was that I wanted to try something new. The role in The Moon as Poompuang’s first husband, Theerapong Sangsuk, is exactly that. Not many people know he even existed, so it was a challenge to try and convey his personality.

I think Thai stars are really exhausted by the system and unrealistic time management. If I had free time, I would go somewhere I don’t have to read entertainment news. Somewhere no one knows me. To recharge myself until I’m craving for work again.

I am my own inspiration. I love myself but not in a selfish way. I love enjoying my achievements, and prefer to celebrate them alone. I go into the bathroom every time I achieve something, and say to myself, “Yes! I am fucking awesome!”

I don’t think it’s true what people say about Thai society lacking heroes. Those people are watching too many movies.

You’re your own hero. If everyone just grounds themselves in reality and does their best, everything will be good. Remember that you can’t change the world.

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