The Flawless Gym Junkie

She’s just finished a punishing 45-minute ride at Absolute Cycle, and there’s not a hair out of place. Decked out head to toe in crisp athleisurewear, you’ll spot her peering at the Sourced Grocer fridge not-so-silently weighing up the relative merits of almond milk and kombucha. (She doesn’t seem to consume much more.) Commonly known to form “squads” where the first rule of membership is 24/7 leggings.

The Sportscar Douche

The Polo Ralph Lauren logo on his shirt (collar up) is big enough to be seen from space, while strapped to his wrist is the ugliest collection of rose gold and black rubber that Switzerland’s finest ever dreamt up. Parking? Parking’s for losers. This guy’s Porsche (gunmetal gray, red fabric roof and matching seat-belts) just rolls up in front for him to jump out and grab a coffee—and by coffee, we mean iced caramel mocha with extra whipped cream. His Milin-clad girlfriend can wait while he’s at it.

The Tasteful Japanese Moms

Exhausting all the blue-and-white stripy clothing in Muji, these charmingly put together creatures wandered down from Starbucks on Jan 8, 2016 and have stayed ever since. Alien to the concept of a pram, their offspring can be found strapped tightly to their chests in linen baby holsters perfectly matched with their tote bags. What happens to these delicate ladies who brunch after their children reach nursery age? No one knows.

The Off-Duty DJ

He’s known to bump fists with each and every stall owner, but you’ll probably hear this 72 Courtyard deserter before you see him: a put-on American drawl proclaiming last night’s exploits in the Dalmatian Room. This cap-backwards bro will chow down on just about anything (he needs the sustenance for the big four-hour set ahead, you know), but has a particular penchant for the hipster banh mi at Eastbound and fusion burgers at Soul Food 555—shit’s off the chain.

See also: People you're bound to meet on every BTS ride

People everyone who works in a Bangkok office will know