AN (ALMOST) A-Z Of Kink in the city

Accessories

There’s nothing like a latex catsuit (B10,500) or a corset (B2,500) to spice things up in the bedroom. These and more products are available from 1.) Planet Latex (www.planet-latex.com). The showroom is in Chiang Mai, but you can also order online or reach them at 081-892-7959.

Condoms

First of all, we hope you’re using them! The stuff you pick up at 7-Eleven or Boots is fine. For some variety, though, try 2.)  www.condomthai.com. From super-thin (0.03mm) Japanese condoms (B80 each) to 3.) Play O “Orgasmic Gel for Women” (B495), this website is packed with some sexy surprises.

Enlargement

Of course, size doesn’t matter. You look great. Really. Now if you simply must get that penis augmentation (B65,000) or boob job (B60,000), we recommend you do it at a reputable clinic like Yanhee (54 Charansanitwong Rd., 02-879-0300. www.yanhee.co.th).

Free HIV testing

The best encouragement to continue playing it safe is to know your status. Get tested today at free HIV testing clinics, Anonymous Clinic (Thai Red Cross Society, Ratchadamri Rd., 02-256-4107/9 ext.109, 209. www.trcarc.org) and The Silom Clinic (3/F, Bangkok Christian Hospital, Silom Rd., 02-634-2917. Open Tue-Sat 4-10pm. www.silomclinic.in.thwww.silomclinic.in.th).

Inflatable dolls

The Love Body (B4,990) is a life-size brunette blow-up doll available from www.toy-dd.net, with some sexy black lingerie thrown in for free.

Lingerie

Although Bangkok lacks Victoria’s Secret, the affordable X-Sizes Outlet (Sukhumvit Soi 22, opposite Imperial Queen's Park Hotel, 02-611-8029. Open Mon-Sat 11:30am-10pm) is here to save the day. This shop boasts a wide range of sexy undergarments, from G-strings to corsets. And we haven’t forgotten you gents, This Shop For Men (2/F, Terminal 21, Sukhumvit Soi 19, 02-254-9470. BTS Asoke. Open daily 11am-9pm) does men’s underwear in almost every shade (pink, purple and green) and form (thongs and briefs from brands like Toot and Good Men Wear). Work up the guts to wear them, and you’ll be sure to impress your lady or guy.

Pole dancing

For female professionals (of the office kind), pole dancing is a great way to de-stress, get fit and perhaps take your bedroom skills up a notch. Give this noble art a whirl at Rumpuree Dance Studio (5/F, Amarin Plaza, Ploenchit Rd., 08-1430-6684. BTS Chit Lom. www.rumpuree.com). A one-hour class costs B500, but if you are considering a career change, we recommend the eight-hour pole class package, priced at B3,200.

Role-Playing

You’d be surprised just how much some good old role-playing can spice up your sex life. The outfit? Try the air-hostess uniform (B650) from Raksexy (www.raksexy.com), or go for the classic French maid costume (B450) at Sexy Girl Shop (www.sexygirlshop.com). If they don’t do it for you, other options include kimonos, nurse’s uniforms, Santa-themed lingerie, cowgirl and PVC leatherwear.

Toys

4.) Tenga makes cans filled with mushy latex and goo that can simulate just about any human orifice—only wetter, tighter and with more tickly things inside. As if that wasn’t exciting enough, they regularly take things up a notch with their latest releases. Say hello to your new best friend: Tenga’s Soft Tube Cup B490, a palm-sized device filled with silicone and gel to help you achieve a happy ending; just open the film, stick it in and enjoy, make sure you don’t ejaculate in it if you’re not planning to buy a new one. Order online from www.tenga.co.th, 089-968-6778.

Viagra

We were absolutely crushed that the US Food & Drug Administration rejected female Viagra, saying the risks outweigh the benefits. Or is it that the FDA is full of Mormons who can’t take the idea of endless female orgasms? Meanwhile, men with erectile dysfunction can still pop the old purple pill (from B450) or the cheaper generic, 5.) Kamagra, which comes in gel form (B70). Or try to get your hands on the new locally made Sidegra, think safer Viagra which comes at just B45 a pop. Get a prescription from your doctor or check out the pharmacies in and around Soi Patpong or Soi Thaniya. BTS Sala Daeng.

Wax

It’s no longer taboo to have a professional tend to your bush. Head to 6.) Reveal Wax Salon (Thonglor Soi 13, 02-712-8209. Open Tue-Sun 10:30am-8:30pm. www.revealwaxsalon.com) for a wax job that can cover (or uncover, rather) any and all of your intimate parts. There are beach trips coming up so we highly recommend the “all off” Brazilian/Boyzilian (from B1,130) for a super smooth touch.

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