Wondering what in the world is World of Warcraft? Don’t know squat about SWAT? Then you’ve come to the right place.

It’s certainly no exaggeration to say that computer games are a phenomenon of religious proportions. But with such a devoted following and a plethora of genres, the lifestyle isn’t something you can easily waltz into. So, we’ve set up a little cheat sheet for you to ensure that you don’t seem like such a n00b when you boldly and finally enter the world of computer gaming.

Now, we’re not going to tell you how to play the games themselves; that you’re going to have to train up on your own. But we will fill you in on some of the idiosyncrasies of the lifestyle, so that you don’t reek like a free frag when you walk into a Local Area Network (LAN) café, or log on to an online game.

What’s that? You don’t know what a “frag” or a “n00b” is? Oh, dear …

Lingua Fragger

We’ll start with the basics: language. There are two very distinctive things about a gamer’s vocabulary that will strike you instantly. First off, they swear like you wouldn’t believe, usually in a combination of English and Hokkien.

Second, and more importantly, they’ll be using a myriad of phrases that are going to sound completely alien to you. There are several dialects of gamespeak and explaining every single term would take ages, so we’ll just clue you in on the first thing most people need to know about any language: its derogatory terms and insults.

A “frag” is a notch on a player’s body count, which makes a “free frag” someone who’s so efficient at getting killed that he’s practically a guaranteed point.

After having your virtual brains blown out, expect your demise to be followed by your opponent’s cry of victory: pwned! This started off as a typo of “owned,” which in gamespeak is essentially the word for rubbing it in after you’ve kicked someone’s ass.

A n00b (derived from “newbie”) is the new guy, or to put it more bluntly, the fresh meat. It’s also a title you’re going to be stuck with when you start out, so get used to it. Gamers love to jump on n00bs, with a lot of friendly typed-out jabs (and some not-so-friendly kills) so believe us—you’re going to have to learn the ropes awfully quickly to shake this tag.

On the other end of the spectrum, however, are the gamers who’ll be dominating you in every possible way. These guys we refer to as being l33t, which comes from “leet,” a short version of “elite”. Expect to hear the cockier ones proclaim their status quite often, especially to all the n00bs.

Game On

This brings us to actually picking out a type of game that’s most suitable for you. While it’s great that you’ve already started clearing space on your hard drive so that your computer doesn’t lag in the middle of a game, let’s not jump the gun here.

There are tons of different genres for you to get your game on—sports, puzzles, adventures and even God games (which allow you to create whole worlds and run them as you see fit). The two most popular types, and probably the best to start with, are role playing games (RPGs) and first-person shooters (FPSs). These genres best encourage some sort of team structure with other players, and there’s no better way to learn than from more experienced gamers.

Inspired by pen-and-paper games, like Dungeons & Dragons from way back when, RPGs are story-oriented, focusing on getting your character (which you’ll have to customize, statistics and all) through a series of levels and challenges. The most popular subset of RPGs are the Massive Multiplayer Online RPG (or MMORPG), which is set on a much larger, global scale.

While you could fly solo for RPGs, playing with a team makes a whole lot more sense. Not only do your characters level up (become more effective and powerful) a whole lot faster, but there’s the child-like glee that fills players when they’re planning out strategies as a collective. That’s right, the proper strategy will definitely be a huge boon to you in RPGs. To play as part of a group, you could head down to your local LAN café, but most people go online and team up with players from all around the world.

FPSs are more for those of you who love your action fast, furious and (to use the utterly out-of-date, yet totally accurate catchphrase) in-your-face. The object of most of these is simple: run around with your dangerously large array of weapons and kill your enemies before they do you in.

Pixilated Tambourine Men

Now that you know what you want, the main question is where to get it. There are a number of outlets you can check out, the most notable being Funan Digitalife Mall, which features a number of computer game stores. A couple of gamers have specifically singled out Challenger @ Funan (#06-00, Funan Digitalife Mall, 109 North Bridge Rd., 6339-9008).

However, if you’re willing to head out of the central areas to hunt for a good place to pick up some games, we recommend Computex Computer Services (#04-30, 756 Upper Serangoon Rd., Upper Serangoon Shopping Centre, 6285-7058). It’s a small store with a huge reputation that has reached as far as the US, thanks in part to a very loyal customer base. Not only is it synonymous with great PC games at decent prices, but if you’re looking to beef up your computer’s capabilities to fit your increasing number of games, this is the place to turn to.

Battle Grounds

It’s “go” time, folks, so the next step is to pick your arena of choice. The online route’s certainly a lot less daunting. At the end of the day, the anonymity of the Internet doesn’t make going toe-to-toe with other competitors such an intimidating encounter, especially if you have shown some semblance of knowing what’s going on. Be sure to have a decent connection though. The last thing you want is for your game to lag for a few seconds and, before you realize it, your character’s been reduced to a vaporized smear.

You’re looking for a broadband connection at the very least, so check with Starhub (#01-36 and #B2-38, Plaza Singapura, 68 Orchard Road, Hotline: 1633) or SingNet (#B1-36, CityLink Mall, One Raffles Link, Hotline: 1610). They’ve got plans designed for the gaming crowd.

Like we said earlier, online games generally tend to be more suited for RPGs, but if you don’t have the right speeds, you might want to try hitting the LAN cafés. Catering more to the FPS crowd, however, some of these can be pretty intimidating—they’re dark, cold, noisy and usually filled with kids … or worse—childish adults.

But pick the right haunt and LAN cafés are a whole lot more enjoyable. A large group of friends certainly helps enhance the experience. Don’t be fooled by the name though. A lot of LAN cafés’ idea of food sometimes means that there’s just a snack bar selling chocolates and sodas, if you’re lucky.

Neighborhood cafés are great if you don’t plan to play for extended periods at a time, but for late nighters, e2Max @ Cine-L9 (#09-01, Cathay Cineleisure Orchard, 8 Grange Rd., 6235-9249) is the perfect place for doing battle. Open till the wee hours, and conveniently located in town, this is the place to go to if you’ve got the sudden itch to blow things up in the middle of the night. Prices range from $2.50 to $3.50 per hour, depending on what time you’re playing.

Another great spot for LAN gaming would be Head Quarters (#02-07, Parklane Shopping Mall, 35 Selegie Road, 6720-6780). It’s a quieter spot than e2Max, especially during the evenings. Expect rates hovering around the $2 per hour range.

You could also give Holland V Cyberspace (25C Lor Liput, 6463-8467) a try. It’s not nearly as well known as the others, so it’s normally a little emptier, but it’s still a great place to check out. Rates here are at about $2.40 an hour.

Side-Effects

We feel it’s fair to warn you that extensive PC gaming will lead to a number of side effects, the most common of which is the nagging significant other. For this little headache, we suggest you turn them onto gaming too. A disadvantage is however, sharing the computer, but staying out late at LAN cafés won’t be seen as much of an offence anymore.

You should also expect to lose quite a bit of sleep. Whether it’s an extensive run in RPGs that go on a lot longer than you realize or a late night FPS assault with the guys, you’d better be prepared to hog the whole pot of coffee at the office the following day.

Finally, you might want to take a little time after each game to recover from the adrenalin rush that you’re most likely going to get. These usually involve getting a drink and (proper) food somewhere to go over how badass you were … or at least how close to being a badass you were.

LOL!

A big part of PC gaming (and gaming in general) is its humor, and nowhere can you immerse yourself in this weird breed of hilarity better than in the culture’s web comics. Embracing as well as satirizing the lifestyle all at once, these strips have become just as much a part of a gamer’s daily routine as … well, gaming. So, log off your server for a second and LOL (that means “laugh out loud”, you n00b) at these.

Penny Arcade!, www.penny-arcade.com

The strip that’s become almost synonymous with gamers, Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkin’s Penny Arcade! pokes fun at everything from the industry to some of the less-than-stellar games on the market with Monty Python-like silliness and pointlessness. With punch lines that are so deeply immersed in the culture, this one’s strictly for the gaming initiated.

PVP, www.pvponline.com

Slightly more accessible to n00bs than Penny Arcade!, Scott Kurtz’s PVP stars the eclectic staff of a gaming magazine. Showing how gaming culture has intertwined with their “normal”, every day lives, the strips deals with exaggerated gaming situations like a relationship on the rocks due to an obsession with World of Warcraft, and how a supposedly lucky hat helps you transcend into the class of the gaming l33t. PVP’s great fun while waiting for the servers to load up.

Mac Hall, www.machall.com

With the amount of time that the characters of Mac Hall spend gaming, you’d have to wonder why creators Ian McConville and Matt Boyd even bothered putting the comic in a school setting. With a sense of humor closer in tone to Penny Arcade!, this irreverent series’ best moments usually revolve around ironically funny in-game situations that most gamers can (unfortunately) relate to from personal experience.

Welcoming us sincerely as we entered the lounge at Raffles The Plaza, and ordering himself a Heineken (“No, wait … make that a Tiger!” he quipped), Doyle took a seat in the warm glow of the morning sun, where—with a pleasant yet contemplative look—he seemed like any other 54-year-old angmoh. But, having left Sydney when he was 18, and spending most of his life since in Asia as a cornerstone of the region’s eclectic film industry, Doyle prefers to think of himself as an “Asian with a skin disease.” “Basically, it was a delayed adolescence,” he elaborates. “I grew up in this space with these people, so therefore I belong to them. I feel very Asian.”

Despite working only on a select few Hollywood projects like Gus Van Sant’s disastrous remake of Psycho and M. Night Shyalamalan’s latest Lady in the Water, Doyle has been on the receiving end of much international critical acclaim. But mastering a craft so completely seems almost second nature to Doyle, who thinks of his work more as a “pleasure” than a job. “Right now, I have the greatest life in the world, because I will look at how the light changes on that cricket pitch,” he says, nodding towards The Padang, “and it will inform, every single minute of every single day, how I’m working. It’s an incredible gift, you know?”

Doyle chose to elaborate on the role of a cinematographer, not so much in broad technical terms, but with a poetic passion. “It’s not just about a style. It’s very much about creating space, and you create space through light, through trust with the actors, and the director,” he says. “Space means ideas, possibility, and colors. And I think that’s what we do. I think a cinematographer is the bridge between what’s happening in front of the camera and what’s happening in front of the audience. I think the reason I’m a cinematographer is to help give form, or give an image, to different ideas. So, the more different the ideas are, the more different the form is. And I think that’s why I’m a better cinematographer than I am a producer,” he says, then adds with a laugh, “Or I’m a better lover than I am a husband!”

Speaking specifically of Invisible Waves, Doyle’s reason for teaming up again with Thai director Pen-Ek Ratanaruang was a simple one: “I love him, obviously. Pen-Ek has always said that he only has eight films to make, which is facetious, I guess,” he adds with a smirk. “And what happened is that I have, like, 50 more films to make, at least, so he’d better get his act together.”

It’s this good humored nature that only adds to Doyle’s charm. With an outlook on life that seems perpetually optimistic, he described the themes of the film with a more personal approach than anything else. “I think the sea is a metaphor for possibilities,” he says fastidiously. “To me, the sea is a woman—or women in general. The sea suggests possibility, that there’s no horizon, or the embrace a woman gives to a man or a mother to a child. And this film is very much about the sea, so it’s very much about those themes. It’s very basic to what I feel—or what I hope—that life is about, which is embrace,” he adds.

As our time with this entrancing personality came to a close, we snuck in one last question to the illustrious Doyle: Whether, after all these years of critical acclaim, would he like something concrete—specifically an Oscar—sitting on his shelf. With his usual charming wit, Doyle replies with a sly wink. “Yeah,” he says, and then adds, “Because I’m going to accept it in Chinese.”

Read our movie review of Invisible Waves here

Are you a storyteller by trade or is this just a hobby?
I’m a professional storyteller, so I get paid to tell stories. I teach, I tell stories and I write as well. Being a storyteller is almost like being an alcoholic; you don’t really put it on your card! There are some people who would look at your card and say “So … what? You mean you just tell stories?”

Can you make a living out of storytelling?
Part of being a storyteller is knowing that you can live with more or less, and it should not matter. It’s not a fancy living, but you manage to get by.

Why did you become a storyteller?
It’s something I feel so passionate about; something that stirs me.

There used to be a lot of storytellers before, but they sort of died out. Why do you think that happened?
I think people associated it with something that was old-fashioned, and was lost in our quest to modernize.

Why do you think that storytelling is making a comeback?
I think there’s a re-emergence of all the arts in Singapore. I think all of us recognize that it’s very innately a part of us. There’s a revival throughout the world. It’s also become a very important tool in business.

How is storytelling used in business?
It’s very hot in business! It’s … something you can’t measure. What facts and figures can’t persuade a society to do, myths can. The facts are not enough to move your soul.

Is there any training involved in becoming a storyteller?
There is a certain amount of training and there’s a certain amount of innate ability. Just getting a certificate is not enough. The storytellers’ course, in a sense, gives you more information on the tradition of storytelling. There is an art to it and you recognize that what you’re doing is something quite valuable to society. There are various techniques and no one technique is the only way to do it.

Are there any particular kinds of stories you tell?
The storyteller will tell the story he or she wants to tell, and will shape the story to his or her own needs.

So, you don’t read the stories from a book?
No self-respecting storyteller will pick up a book and recite it. That is not storytelling.

Do you have to tell the stories in a specific place?
NS men share their stories everywhere, so why does anyone imagine it has to be in a specific area?

Do you do funny voices?
(In a squeaky voice) Yeah, sometimes I do funny voices. (In a deep voice) I could do voices if I have to.

One of the biggest culprits of air pollution is the putrid emissions of cars. For each liter of petrol burned by an engine, three kilograms of air pollution that contain the harmful nitrogen oxides and carbon dioxide are released. Let that percolate in your brain for a while—three whole kilograms worth per liter. And just to reiterate the scope of ruin that most of us are a part of practically every single day, we’re talking about the discharges of just one car here.

Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself that, hey, tough luck, driving is a necessary evil. After all, what else is a city dwelling, constant commuter to do? Daily life does have to go on, we agree, but there are alternatives to the usual ways of getting around. Environmentally friendlier modes of transport are becoming more accepted and commonplace. They’re not the norm just yet, but we’re all starting to wise up to the need to keep it green.

So, if you’re still unsure of what you can do, here are some ways to travel smog-free.

I Want To Ride My Bicycle

To most people, waking up an hour or two earlier in the morning so you can ride your bicycle to work, instead of driving, sounds insane beyond belief. So, if reducing air pollution isn’t enough of a motivation, think of it this way: It’s also a great reason to finally get all that exercise you’ve been complaining you never had the time for!

If you’re worried that storage might be a problem, there’re a couple of solutions to that. First off, you might want to check out the JZ88, a foldable bike designed specifically for city living that’ll set you back $668. When collapsed, the JZ88 can fit practically anywhere, even under your desk, so you’ll never have to worry about lugging around a clunky piece of metal. You can pick up one of these babies at Joo Hong Leong Co. (#01-170, Blk. 116, Lorong 2 Toa Payoh, 6253-2151).

But if you have a soft spot for said clunky bike, parking doesn’t have to be a hassle either. Cadence Bikes (#01-01 and #02-01, 27 Seah Street) offers bike storage and even shower facilities (for the sake of your colleagues — can’t have you walking into the office smelling like you just cycled to work). Just give Jason a call at 9107-0401.

Alternatively, you could streamline things and strap on a pair of in-line skates. A pair of GEO 2, one of the latest models from in-line skate pioneer Rollerblade, will ring up at $233, and you can pick them up at Skateline (#04-37A, Peninsula Shopping Centre, 3 Coleman Street, 6339-7707).

Pooling Resources

If you’re still reeling from the mere idea that it’s possible to wake up earlier than the wee hours you’re already struggling with, there’s always car pooling. It’s a simple idea, really. All you’ll need are a few neighbors who work in the same vicinity, or some colleagues who live near you, to share a ride to the office. It’s that easy, and you’ve instantly reduced the number of cars on the road during those awful peak periods by four.

Aside from cutting back on the use of petrol, if enough people went the car pooling route, imagine how much less jammed the expressways would be in the mornings and evenings.

If you love to sing along to the radio on the way to work and don’t want an audience, however, there’s also car sharing. Set up by NTUC in May 1997, car sharing is similar to other forms of public transport, in that if you’ve signed up as a member of the scheme, you have 24-hour access to cars available at many locations around the island. Car sharing makes more ecological sense than actually owning a car, simply because you’re using the car only when you really need to. And what’s more, this scheme won’t burn a hole in your wallet, since you pay only when you drive.

For more on car sharing, you can head down to their administrative office (#05-07, NTUC INCOME Tampines Junction, 300 Tampines Ave. 5, 6788-8788) or, for a complete list of rates and some basic information, check out http://www.carcoop.com.sg.

Green Machines

Clearly living up to its name, Smart Automobile took a huge step towards cleaner transport when it launched a fleet of Compressed Natural Gas (CNG)-powered Mercedes Benz cabs in December last year. These vehicles operate on natural gas, which cuts carbon dioxide discharge by more than 20 percent as compared to vehicles that run on petrol. The CNG cabs also significantly reduce the emission of nitrogen oxides, carbon monoxide and reactive hydrocarbon—the main cause of smog.

The catch, however, is that the CNG cabs will set you back 60 cents more with each trip—the flag down rate being $3 instead of the usual $2.40. The reasoning behind the pricier fare is that there is, thus far, only one refueling station on the entire island. The good news is that, since they first hit the roads, the cabs have been getting the good word from passengers and drivers alike, encouraging the National Environment Agency to provide $2 million to build three new CNG stations, so there is hope for cheaper rates eventually. In the meantime, what’s an extra 60 cents, right?

For those of you who still feel the need to own a vehicle, hybrid cars are the way to go. Already boasting a huge following in the US, cars such as Toyota’s pioneering Prius and, more recently, the Honda Hybrid Civic have been slowly making an impact on the local market.

Using an electric motor to start up the engine and travel at low speeds and a petrol motor for higher speeds and acceleration, the hybrids have been proven to reduce emissions greatly, as compared to their conventional counterparts.

They’re certainly pricier than your regular cars (Honda’s Civic Hybrid, one of the most affordable of its kind, goes for around $80K), but with the Land Transport Authority’s rebates of 40 percent of hybrids’ open market values extended to the end of 2007, there’s that added incentive to pick them up.

Foot Soldier

It’s literally as easy as putting one leg before the other, yet very few people seem to realize how simply walking could work for the environment. Imagine, for example, the reduction of emission you produce each time you take a stroll to the supermarket or the neighborhood interchange, instead of driving. It’s a small step, sure, but every little bit does count.

Like biking and in-line skating, walking is a boon to your health and wallet too. A pair of running shoes from Royal Sporting House (#B2-15/23, Ngee Ann City, 391 Orchard Rd, 6538-8888) will definitely set you back less than what you’d spend on petrol in the long run, and you get to stretch those legs that spend almost every day cooped up under an office desk. Hop to it.

If you really want to see just how much the times have changed over the last decade, take a good hard look at the evolution of technology, both in terms of its capabilities as well as its place in our daily lives. A lot of the gadgets and services that most of us take for granted today couldn’t even have been imagined 10 years ago.

Technology was developing at a ridiculously rapid pace between the late 1990s and early 2000s. The difference may not be immediately obvious for those who were in the thick of it, but hindsight, as they say, is 20/20, so prepare to be haunted by the ghost of technology’s past.

Dot Com Ka-Boom

In 1995, the Internet had a handful of users, but was still more comparable to HAM radio than any other media outlet. Hardly anyone had an email address, and the number of websites was just a tiny fraction of what we have today—which is not surprising, given that our connections then were crawling through phone lines. 

Fast forward to two years later, and everyone was clamoring for an email address, trying to figure out how to create websites and to register their spot online. Communicating internationally via electronic means was soaring in popularity, resulting in large numbers of users flocking to chat services like IRC and early incarnations of instant messengers like ICQ. Sites like Amazon and eBay began making a killing as people turned to online shopping. And, of course, there was all that porn to discover. 

Dialups were still the main form of connection to the Net, but this would change within the next few years with the advent of Cable and DSL connections, which most users still utilize today, but wirelessly.

Like any media revolution, however, there’s bound to be a glut. With everyone trying to get rich quick online, the market became saturated which resulted in the notorious dot com crash of the late 90s. People eventually (almost) recovered but realized that making the Internet work for them was going to involve more than just a snazzy name.

By last year, most people couldn’t even fathom what life was like before the Internet. Today there is virtually nothing that can’t be done online. Practically everyone has at least one email address. Technorati.com currently tracks 29.8 million web logs (or blogs) worldwide. Communication has advanced to the point where instant messaging is making way for Voice over Internet Protocol. Shopping online is the norm. And now, with the faster speeds, people can download music, watch television and play video games online.

Walk The Talk

The term “pagers” seems so ancient now, doesn’t it? But before everyone and their grandmas were sporting mobile phones, beepers were the gadget du jour. That isn’t to say that mobiles weren’t around already. More for the older towkays than anyone else, mobiles back then were so chunky you could kill a person by hitting them over the head with one, and sported nothing more than a tiny analog screen.

But when Nokia and Motorola started incorporating elements of style and user-friendliness to these phones, such that even the most technologically incompetent could operate one, pagers started showing the first signs of demise.

By the end of the 1990s, it wasn’t uncommon to find businessmen and teenagers using the same mobile phone model. Pagers still had their place with a select few, but were already beginning to phase out. They did their best to stay relevant with the introduction of alphanumeric message functions, but how could that compete with the ease of the mobile’s short message service (SMS)?

This, of course, brings us to where we are now: phones that have advanced to the point where they seamlessly integrate mobile communication with other media like wireless Internet capabilities, video and photo functions and even MP3 players.

It’s the Music That We Choose

Back in 1995, Sony was king of the hill. With cassettes facing their final death throes and portable CD players becoming the way to listen to music on the go, Sony’s Discman—like its predecessor the Walkman—was the brand name that most consumers associated the format with. Even the company’s big push for the MiniDisc format towards the end of the decade couldn’t stop the Discman and its competitors.

Then came the iPod. Apple broke the mould when this little wonder (well, it didn’t start off so little) of portable music arrived in the early 2000s. Using the format that was most popular at the time, the MP3, Apple dominated the market—and arguably still does—beating other companies vying for a piece of the MP3 pie, including Singapore’s very own Creative Technologies. Only recently has Sony come back to the fight with its new Walkman.

So influential was the advent of the MP3 player (combined with the need to combat illegal P2P file-sharing services) that Apple and other companies like the reformed Napster began successfully selling music online.

CD players, like the portable cassette players before them, struggle to keep up. They are surviving because many people still buy CDs. MP3s may be the most popular way to listen to music, but it seems that, for now at least, music fans still love the actual act of CD shopping and holding the cover in their hands.

The Games People Play

In the early-1990s, three words most commonly graced the lips of the gaming world: Sega, Nintendo and Doom. PC games such as this popular first-person shooter ruled the market for the earlier half of the decade, and arguably shook up Sega and Nintendo’s comfortable gaming console niche, which still dished out simplistic, 16-bit side scrollers at the time.

Finally, with the arrival of Sony’s Playstation in the mid-1990s, gamers could kiss cartridges goodbye forever. Graphics to absolutely die for, extremely addictive games like the Tomb Raider and Resident Evil series, and non-linear gameplay made Playstation the most popular console of the 1990s.

PC games, of course, didn’t slacken behind, constantly keeping up with computer system upgrades to create the best games possible. These days, PC games rank as some of the most popular, with cult favorites like the Battlefield series of first person shooters and the role-playing game (RPG) phenomenon World of Warcraft.

On the console front, Playstation has already gone through several variations. Likewise, its biggest competitor, Microsoft’s Xbox, has just released its most recent breakthrough, the Xbox 360. Sega and Nintendo tried their best to keep up, but these days, gamers don’t talk about them as much as they used to.

Why did you decide to use vintage Volkswagens for wedding cars?
I love these cars, and I want to give others a chance to experience and enjoy them, especially on their special day. I really want to offer something different from the usual and boring Mercs, Jags, Beemers, MPVs and SUVs that so many are inclined to use due to lack of creativity, or fear of being different.

How long have you been running this business?
My first rental was in 1999. It was Awesome Blossom (a Light Grey 1967 Beetle), at a friend’s request. The wedding guests seemed to love the idea, and since then business has been growing by word of mouth, and the idea has taken on a life of its own.

How many Volkswagens do you have?
In 2002, I added a second VW, named Rollin’ Raggae (an Aqua Blue 1966 Beetle) to my collection and a Black 1971 Morris Minor called Slow Moe in 2004. Go to www.blackbeansource.com for pictures!

And they are all vintage Volkswagens?
Currently, I have two vintage VWs and a Morris Minor available for rent, and plan to expand my fleet to five or more within the next three years.

Which is your favorite model?
Slow Moe. He’s just black and classy, while Blossom and Raggae are more fun and retro.

How much did it cost you to amass them? 
Not too much, but a lot of time is taken to keep them in good running order and looking presentable. It’s a labor of love.

Have you ever had problems fitting the bride and her father into the car?  
Getting in is usually not the problem, but getting out and trying to look glamorous at the same time takes a bit of innovation. I usually have the front passenger seat removed on the two-door Beetles for easier access.

Do you just drive the cars or is any other service provided?
The cars may be rented self-drive, or for photo shoots and film.

How do the guests at the wedding normally react to the cars?
“Wah! What’s the car plate number, hor? Tonight can strike 4-D!” But seriously, the older folks get a real kick out of the nostalgia, while the younger generation is simply surprised that the cars actually move.

Any bridesmaids hit on you because of the cars? 
No, but I’ve encountered a bride’s mother who seemed interested in more than just my car. Yuck.

Have there ever been any “unscheduled activities” on the back seats of your cars?
I try to keep my eyes on the road when I’m driving. But as long as they don’t stain the seats…

Did you know that Singapore recently hosted a blogging convention? Let that word roll around your tongue a bit: a convention. That’s how ridiculously huge the blogging phenomenon has become.

For better or worse, online journals are the voice of Netizens these days.

A portmanteau of the phrase “web log”, blogs can be a soapbox for opinions on current events, a place to post poetry and musings, or simply a dump for links that you want your friends to check out. It’s a flexible medium and, if you get past the self-absorbed nature of most blogs, it can be used in many interesting ways.

Credibility of blogs are already on the upswing. Izzy, a popular columnist
for Today, first came into prominence through her controversial blog
http://missizzy.org, while many internationally-acclaimed authors, like William Gibson (http://www.williamgibsonbooks.com/blog/archive.asp) and Neil Gaiman (http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/) regularly update their journals.

The question is, of course, which host works best? There are many to choose from, but only a select few are really user-friendly while still offering all the cool features to do whatever you want with your journal.

We made our way through a whole bunch and narrowed it down to the top ones. No need to thank us, but we expect a shout once your blog’s hit-count starts climbing.

LiveJournal, www.livejournal.com

LiveJournal’s (LJ) been huge with the international blogging community for some time now—and for good reason. Aside from an easy to use interface that includes great options like quick-linking to other LJ users and LJ cuts (which lets you “hide” parts of your post so that it doesn’t look so clunky on the main page), its biggest boon is definitely the “Friends” option.

This feature allows you to keep track of other LJ users’ posts, and vice versa. The option also means that only those on your approved “Friend” list can read your locked posts.

Navigation is a bit tedious though, with no clarity on where to click on for any particular function. The layouts of LJ blogs don’t really scream “inspirational” either, with a few rigid formats. Trying to customize it is a lesson in frustration for newbies.

At the end of the day, LiveJournal’s still a very popular choice, mostly among people who’ve been blogging for some time. It’s not completely undecipherable, but there are much easier hosts to start out your blogging life with.

User Friendly: ★★✩✩✩
Customizability: ★✩✩✩✩
Spread the Word: ★★★★★

Multiply, www.multiply.com

To simply call Multiply a blog host is understating things a bit. More of an all-round personal site than exclusively a traditional blog, Multiply is fantastic for anyone who’s looking to do a whole lot more than just write about what they did on any particular day.

Featuring the option to upload videos, pictures and music—all in their own separate sections—Multiply is the kind of multimedia blog that we feel people need to pay more attention to. On top of the host, Multiply also works as a social networking site, keeping you in contact with your friends and, like LiveJournal, up to date of their postings.

Another great feature is that, if you’ve already got a blog running at LiveJournal or Blogger, you can simply syndicate it at your Multiply site, instead of starting a new one up from scratch.

The downside, however, is that Multiply’s layouts are pretty straightforward and dull. Nevertheless, if substance completely overshadows style for you, then this is certainly the host you’re looking for.

User Friendly: ★★★✩✩
Customizability: ★✩✩✩✩
Spread the Word: ★★★★★

Blogger, www.blogger.com

Probably the most popular host among local users, Blogger is perfect for newbies looking to set up their own little place in cyber space. As far as user-friendliness is concerned, Blogger delivers in spades, making it easy for users to navigate. Updating your journal’s a cinch; the interface is very similar to Microsoft Word, so there’s a great sense of familiarity. Heck, it even comes with its own spell-check option.

As for customizability, you need to know a bit of HTML (or at least know where to get the kind of layouts you’re looking for) if you want to move away from the templates, but otherwise it’s pretty straightforward.

Getting word out to your friends about your blog, however, rests solely on you. Unlike LiveJournal and Multiply, there’s no real community feel to Blogger.

A great host that’s much more flexible as far as aesthetics are concerned, it’s easy to understand why Blogger’s gained such a following.

User Friendly: ★★★★✩
Customizability: ★★★★✩
Spread the Word: ★★★✩✩

Xanga, www.xanga.com

Xanga takes LiveJournal’s “Friends” concept a little further, by making your journal part of blog rings—communities specific to the type of topics you blog about. It’s a keen little feature that certainly makes it easier for you to scope out blogs that appeal to your particular interest.

Updating is relatively simple, and, while the potential to personalize your blog isn’t as fantastic as Blogger’s, Xanga’s templates are still pretty gorgeous and varied.
All in all, Xanga’s for a particular kind of blogger. Casual users would probably grow tired of it after a while.

User Friendly: ★★★★✩
Customizability: ★★✩✩✩
Spread the Word: ★★★★✩

The Verdict

We’d recommend Blogger if you’re just starting out. It’s the easiest to get used to, and the most fun to play with, as far as designs go. Most people would progress on to LiveJournal for the “Friends” option, but we’d suggest Multiply instead, especially if you’ve got ambitions to move beyond simple text posts. Xanga would probably be best if you’re blogging on one particular subject, but it doesn’t really offer much otherwise.

Blog Talk

The Internet has always been rife with seemingly nonsensical jargon, and when blogging exploded onto the scene, a new dialect of online-speak naturally started popping up. Here’s a quick cheat sheet, so you don’t look like such a newbie when you get started.

Dooced was a term coined when graphic designer Heather B. Armstrong was notoriously fired due to work related posts in her blog at http://dooce.com. Since then, if you’ve been sacked for posting nasty little things or secrets about your company, as far as the blogging community is concerned, you’ve been dooced.

Memes are either online quizzes you post on your blog from websites like Quizilla (http://quizilla.com/), or “surveys” that are designed to give your readers an overview of who you are. For the latter, you’re usually expected to pass on the meme to another blogger to keep it circulating. This is called “tagging”.

Moblogs are blogs with content that are mostly posted from a mobile phone via SMS and MMS. Interesting fact: For last year’s National Day, Singapore apparently started the world’s first national moblog. Check it out here: http://moblog.ndp.org.sg/main/index.asp.

NSFW stands for “Not Safe for Work.” You will probably find this headlining an LJ cut or link that’ll take you to something obscene or crude. You might not want to open it in the office and save it for when you get back home.

Podcasts are blogs that consist predominantly of audio entries. With the right software, you can have a podcast syndicated straight to your MP3 player. The format’s already huge overseas, but it’s just in its infancy here, with only a handful of locally-based podcasters.

They’ve been around for as long as we can remember. They lurk on the fringes of society, in dark rooms illuminated only by the glow of computer screens, speaking languages undecipherable by almost anyone else! And they all look like Steve Urklel (from Family Matters)!

Or at least, that’s what we used to think.

Ever since personal computers and the Internet became an essential part of contemporary life (and Bill Gates the richest man in the world), geek culture has stepped out of the shadows into a more positive light in the public eye. Once simply regarded as creepy, weird guys with zero social skills, people are starting to understand that this stereotype isn’t as accurate as they thought.

Brendon Fernandez, 26, an actor, undergraduate and gamer, is probably one of the starkest examples of the contrast between the label and the truth. “‘Actor’ and ‘geek’ are not commonly associated terms,” he says. “I get calls from actor friends that go ‘Hey, my computer has a ... thing’ and I end up telling them how to clear spyware, clean viruses and use programs. I’m ‘actor tech support’.”

Indeed, geeks are a lot more ‘normal’ than most of us realize. But if perceptions of geek-hood have been misconstrued, then what is a geek?

“Geek, to me, has a broad definition,” explains Peter Hendricks, 24, a freelance sound engineer and music enthusiast. “The term could be used for someone who has an obsession or fascination, usually surrounding technology. Although that could apply to a variety of subjects, like role playing games or comic books.  This fascination usually outweighs every other aspect in his or her life. Yes, there are female geeks out there too ... whether they like admitting it is another issue altogether.”

And that’s what they really are: guys—and girls—who are just intellectually passionate over a certain field or subject to such a degree that we tend to mistake it for an abnormal obsession. Of course, this is a vast scope of geek-hood; there are dozens of types of geeks and each has its own unique quirks and interests. So, we scoured the gaming cafés, comic shops and other specialty haunts, and rounded up some of the not-so-usual suspects for a peek into their passions.

Species: geekus comiculus

Status: Daneshvar (or Dan, to his friends), a 25-year-old IT consultant, isn’t one of those geeks who’d huddle around their comics, completely oblivious to the outside world. Well, OK, he does do that sometimes, but he’s also very adamant about correcting some of the misconceptions, not so much of fan boys, but of the medium itself.

“People tend to think that comic readers are boring or childish and live in a fantasy world,” says Dan. “Stick a book like Blankets or Arkham Asylum in these people’s hands, make them read the medium and have a decent discussion. Then see the look on their faces.”

Cred: Aside from superhero titles from DC Comics, Dan also sings praises to other, less cape-and-tights sort of books. “Off the top of my head,” he says with a deep breath, “The Sandman, Planetary, Global Frequency, Preacher, Blankets, Brian Michael Bendis’ issues of Sam & Twitch and Spawn.”

Like many geeks, however, Dan tends to get a little too passionate for his own good. “I explained, very loudly, to my colleagues what the Multiverse was and the part Superman plays in all of it … in the presence of my managers without even flinching.”
When we look at him dumbfounded, he adds with a sigh, “Just go read Infinite Crisis and Crisis on Infinite Earths, OK?”

Activities: As far as aficionado congregations are concerned though, Dan and his friends’ gatherings are in settings that most people wouldn’t normally associate with the comic-reading crowd. “We meet in a pub, drink lots of beer and discuss the future of comics,” he says, then adds with a cheeky smile, “and whether they could draw Supergirl just a little bit hotter.”

Trivia: “For the movie Sin City, no story boarding or scripting was done. Everything was lifted and remade into live-action scenes.”

Species: geekus wrestliorem

Status: With his shaved head, scruffy goatee and macho swagger, Jamie Tan doesn’t just seem like the sort of guy who’d watch wrestling, he actually looks like he belongs in the squared circle. Then, of course, he starts talking and his enthusiastically geeky demeanor shines through clearly.

The 30-year-old actor likens being at a wrestling event to being at a rock concert … only without the actual rock band.

“Professional wrestling is popularly coined as sports entertainment,” he explains. “That is, the ultimate combination of theatrics, histrionics, TV drama, comedy, sports, talk show interviews, current affairs, news, gossip, info-entertainment and daytime soap all rolled into one. It’s a total package of everything you can find on TV and stage.”

Cred: Jamie’s love for wrestling seems to know no boundaries, not even when it comes to his appearance. He even once signed up for a celebrity look-alike contest as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, the beer-guzzling redneck of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).

“Some people feel that I already resemble “Stone Cold” by virtue of my bald head and goatee. I get left alone quite a lot as a result of that,” he says with a laugh.

Usually seen sporting his wrestling hero’s trademark garb of a black “Stone Cold” t-shirt, rugged jeans and boots, Jamie has actually had some positive responses, from time to time. But they’re usually, as he claims, “from the people in the psyche ward!”

Activities: Aside from having attended almost every WWE event that’s ever been held in Singapore, however, don’t expect Jamie to mingle with his geeky brethren anytime soon. “I’m quite anti-social,” he says, comparing himself to—you guessed it—“Stone Cold”.

Trivia: “Wrestlers Rob Van Dam, Trish Stratus and Steve Austin all share the same birthday­—18 December.”

Species: geekus bookwormbitis

Status: If you think that bookworms are nerdy, timid little girls who wear thick glasses, you haven’t met 25-year-old personal assistant Eileen David. “Most don’t believe it. I get disbelieving looks when people find out I adore reading,” she says. “They always tell me I don’t look like the type!”

“Being a book geek’s nothing really out of the ordinary actually,” she adds. “I just love reading! It’s a habit I’ve had since I was a kid, so for me, it’s kind of a natural thing.”
When her time’s not occupied with everything literary, Eileen’s just like any other woman. Well, mostly.

“I love clubbing, shopping, hanging out with friends. I don’t talk about books all the time! It’s more of a personal thing, just between my books and me,” she says. “But I do get disturbingly worked up when screen adaptations veer from the original book.”

Cred: Hell hath no fury like a woman separated from her books. “I once threw a major hissy fit that ended in tears when my parents dragged me away from a book warehouse sale before I was done browsing,” Eileen relates.

Ask her to list her favorites and you better not make any plans for the foreseeable future. “Where do I start!” she says with an alarming enthusiasm. “I have tons, and they tend to change from time to time depending on my mood or frame of mind. But there are some books I can read over and over again and still not get tired of, like Wilbur Smith’s River God and Warlock, Dan Brown’s stuff, Harry Potter! Oh, and anything to do with myths and ancient civilizations. Greek, Roman, and Egyptian—if it’s mythical, I’ll love it.”

Activities: But for all her obsession, don’t expect Eileen to get overly academic when it comes to literature. “I don’t go to poetry readings or book clubs or anything like that,” she explains. “Some of my friends are avid readers too, so we swap books and sometimes have a little chat about interesting books and storylines. But no, we don’t meet up specifically for the purpose of discussing books. It tends to come up in casual conversation.”

Trivia: “Author Clive Cussler’s life parallels that of his hero Dirk Pitt.”

Species: geekus fashionentium

Status: Most people would think that “fashion” and “geek” are mutually exclusive terms. Zaki Jufri very effectively puts that idea to rest. “I love the brand Maharishi so much that I’ve actually worked at Blackjack which sells Maharishi clothing just to get the clothes first!” he relates.

The 25-year-old Editor of Playtimes toy magazine actually stayed up all night once just to be the first to purchase the limited Nike x Maharishi line.

“If Maharishi opens a store here, I’ll be the first one to apply!” Zaki adds enthusiastically. “Hardy Blechman, the founder of Maharishi, was just here in town recently for the iDN conference and I think I was stalking him,” he continues with a laugh.

Cred: “I think that one geek stereotype is that the geek knows quite a bit about the subject he’s a geek in,” says Zaki. “And I actually know by heart some of the different camouflage patterns that Maharishi puts out and sometimes which season it’s from.”
Zaki’s geekiness doesn’t make people quite as uncomfortable as with some other geeks, but he does admit that people have been “very amused” with his extensive knowledge and collection.

Activities: You would expect a fashion geek to be out there at shows, hob-knobbing with the fashion elite. What you wouldn’t expect would be for him to be hanging out at online message boards.

“I usually chat online with other fashion geeks about the going-ons in the geek fashion world in forums like Superfuture and 5th Dimension,” relates Zaki.

Trivia: “There were actually Maharishi clothes made from ‘knife-proof’ fabric a few years back. How’s that for safe clothing?”

Species: geekus musiciorum

Status: “I still remember the first thing that got me hooked,” elaborates Peter Hendricks on his immeasurable love for music. “It was when I was 11 and watching the video for the song No Rain by Blind Melon. I still remember how it felt like [lead singer] Shannon Hoon was singing that song just to me. There is nothing better than that feeling of self-justification and familiarity that there is somebody out there feeling exactly how I felt.”

Indeed, Peter’s love for music extends well beyond the normal boundaries of bobbing your head along to the latest catchy song on the radio. On top of the emotional attachment, Peter also finds himself obsessed with factors as specific as the technical ability of a musician and music arrangement.

Cred: With such a deep-seeded passion, it’s no surprise that his influences are, to say the least, eclectic, stretching from rock to jazz to even Middle Eastern.

“Just a few that come to mind at the moment are Jeff Buckley, Thelonious Monk, Pearl Jam, Nusrat Fateh Ali Kahn, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Counting Crows, King Crimson, Pink Floyd and Herbie Hancock,” he says of his favorites.

Ask him about his ultimate geek item, however, and Peter’s answer is instantaneous and firm. “My most prized possession has to be my guitar that I got while I was studying in Australia. It’s an Ernie Ball Musicman,” he explains, showing us his guitar with the utmost care. “It’s not a ‘classic’ by any means but the first time I played it, it just felt like the guitar that suited me the most.”

“Plus,” he adds, “I got it really cheap because my teacher was sponsored by the brand.”

Adding to his music geek credibility, Peter’s performed impromptu numbers with the house band at the Crazy Elephant blues bar at Clarke Quay a couple of times and has even recorded an album with his acid jazz band back in Australia.

Activities: “We usually meet up to talk about music that we recently heard. Sometimes we get together to write or play music,” he says, of meetings with fellow music geeks.

Trivia: “The name of the band Gin Blossoms is actually the term for the bursting of the capillaries in your nose and face caused by excessive drinking.”

Species: geekus toyretis collectius

Status: Paul Hendricks, a 26-year-old freelance graphic designer, is a man of few words … but lots of toys. Action figures, that is. His reasoning behind his hobby is a simple one: “I like toys, so I collect them. My taste varies,” he adds. “I’m into almost everything from vintage Star Wars to anime figures, although I’m not really into Transformers. They never really appealed to me. Maybe it’s their lack of articulation.”

Cred: Ask Paul for the action figure he treasures the most and he answers thoughtfully, “It’s hard to pick a favorite, but some finalists off the top of my head are the vintage Boba Fett, OVA Devilman. Mandarin Spawn, all the Super Friends figures and vintage Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow from GI Joe.”

So captivated by the aforementioned Boba Fett, a cult favorite character from the original Star Wars trilogy, that Paul even has a small toy shrine set up for the character.

Activities: His interaction—in the traditional sense of the word, at least—with other toy collectors is quite limited. “Pretty much all conversations or discussions are done on the Net over forums,” he says. “The only time I’ve met other toy collectors in person is if I’m trading with them.”

Trivia: “I’m sure someone out there reading this would know more than me. We geeks are everywhere … ”

Species: geekus gameribus

Status: Just because it’s a game doesn’t mean it can’t be taken seriously—that’s the sort of mentality that Brendon Fernandez, and other like-minded gamers have. Such a firm believer in the credibility of video games is he that he’s currently writing his thesis comparing acting to role- playing in Massive Multi-player Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs).

But parallels between his passions are not the only things that draw Brendon to gaming. “It’s the social interaction. Whether it’s talking to buddies about a great game at the coffee shop, or chatting with gamers from around the world online while you’re waiting for the level to load,” he says.

Cred: You would think that as a confident (and rather handsome) actor, Brendon’s geekiness might be less pronounced. You’d be wrong. When asked if he was guilty of perpetuating any geek stereotypes, he simply replies,

“If you mean starting a conversation about something you think is really cool, then realizing halfway that no one understands you, then yes.”

And that’s on top of spending up to 14 hours a day gaming, depending on his schedule.

Activities: “We game, or we talk about gaming, or we try to do something else … but end up gaming,” he says of hanging out with fellow gamers. “Or we open a bottle of wine and talk about politics, philosophy, history and/or literature … if the server’s down.”

Trivia: “The IGDA (International Game Developers Association) has a chapter in Singapore.  We might have a games industry yet.”

Species: geekus RPGissermus

Stats: “I like power,” says 25-year-old NUS-student Tan Shao Han, with a gleam in his eyes that doesn’t seem to come from the reflection of his 20-sided-die.

“Not power over other people,” he’s quick to explain, “or power in a hobby. Rather I enjoy the exercising of individuality as power. Role playing games, or ‘RPGs’, are constructs of imagination and experience that game masters and players craft together.”

This die-hard role playing gamer (or RPGer) is an intimidating figure with a misleading monk-like calm to his mannerism most of the time. Get him into a RPG of any kind, however, and things take a complete 180 degree turn. From your run-of-the-mill, pen-and-paper type games like Dungeons and Dragons to fully-dressed Live Action Role Playing (or LARP), RPGs are Shao’s exciting escape away from the mundane.

“Within our current consumers’ scope of life, we seem to have limited the situations we can find ourselves in,” he explains. “We study, work, spend money on pursuing random hobbies, drink, f***, day after day. In RPGs, you get used to scenarios beyond the ones we have surrounded ourselves with—and in a way, you learn to see life as being a scenario you can affect, rather than passively be part of.”

Cred: If you were to ask Shao what’s the one thing he couldn’t live without as a geek, he’d scramble for a pair of anti-glare wielding goggles, which he’s used a number of times in LARP gatherings. “Because of them I got the nickname Goggleman. You cannot understand my power, mortal!” he says, with a loud maniacal laugh.

Yet with such an outspoken approach to his geek-hood, Shao rarely gets labeled as one. “It depends on how I exhibit my geekazoidry,” he says eloquently. “If I use my geek powers to explain and make things more lucid, I get lovin’ and respect.”

“Nobody likes a show-off, whether he’s a geek or not.”

Activities: Outside of LARP sessions, Shao and his fellow RPGers do meet up almost anywhere ... you know, like us “normal” people. “We live life, like you guys do,” he says simply.

Trivia: “D4s hurt like a bitch, especially if you try to swallow them and have to throw them up thereafter.” For you non-RPGers out there, a D4 is a four-sided die used in role-playing games.