VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22): “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing,” said motivational author Dale Carnegie. Those should be your words to live by for the rest of 2006. It’s time for you to become almost ruthless in your intention to enjoy yourself as you carry out your life’s work. I’m tempted to go so far as to say that you should disentangle yourself from any commitment in which duty overshadows pleasure. Your drive to do good deeds and be of use to people will ultimately fall short unless you love what you do.

It’s time once again to test your knowledge of current events with our patented monthly News Quiz.

TO: Lee Kuan Yew Fan ClubFR: A hip and happening citizenRE: Application for membershipI hope you will consider this application for membership in your esteemed organization. I’ve been a big fan of Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew ever since his days as Prime Minister. But when I read his recent comments saying that Singapore needed to become more of a “buzz” city, I couldn’t help but write in and offer a couple of suggestions (reason enough for our first intro, no?). He must be a busy man, and I was surprised he took time to visit Clarke Quay recently.

Last week, the Education Ministry reported that 2/3 of all primary and secondary schools nationwide have failed to meet the minimum requirements in their educational standards assesment, a periodic test of the quality of education in our schools. The Bangkok Post quoted the director of the Ministry’s Office of Academic Accreditation as saying the schools’ “education quality is tantamount to being in a coma.

Dear Loong Maew,Hi!!! Do u no who I am? I'm Daeng, 7. This is my forth letter 2 u now. I hope u like my letters and they make u happee. Do u like my pitchers? Here I dru; another oneof u.I no u are getting reddee for anothur erekshun. That's so kool how u half erekshuns 2 help Thai peepel get monee. I half been waching u a lot on TV making promis to peepel in Chiang Mai and Isaan and Myannmar. U wurk so hard now!U smile a lot but I no it must be hard for u. There are so manee bad peepel who are not nice to u. They are seenyor figures and inflewenshal peepel, right?

This year’s National Day Parade (NDP), the last to be held at the National Stadium, should’ve been a grand ol’ affair. It should’ve had something astonishingly different to mark this milestone. It should’ve gone out with a huge bang. Instead, what we got was a drone of familiarity, with the concept and staging evoking a strange sense of déja vu. Vernon Sum Chun Wei, who wrote to the newspaper last week, echoed this, stating that the parade “featured all the same old march-past, flashcards, aerial display of planes and parachutists, and fireworks.

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22): “Raising kids is like making pancakes,” muses Brian Copeland in his show Not a Genuine Black Man. “You always mess up the first one.” A similar idea might apply to a certain multi-pronged project you’ve been working on, Leo. I’m not saying you should abandon or throw away your initial effort. On the contrary, like rookie parents whose inexperience has slightly tweaked their first-born, you should be thorough in trying to undo your mistakes.

It could happen to you: your career, your life, decided with one mouseclick. Imagine it’s another crap day at work in your crap office. You’re either bored out of your mind or so angry you could explode (or both), and your only satisfaction comes from spending the entire morning writing a brilliantly nasty email in which you call your bastard boss all sorts of name (and spending the entire afternoon Photoshop-ing pictures of his head onto the bodies of farm animals).

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22): Travel writer Bruce Chatwin walked around Australia as he researched and meditated on the indigenous people’s beliefs about what the land was like in the ancient past. He wrote: “Aboriginal creation myths tell of the legendary totemic beings who wandered over the continent in the Dreamtime, singing out the name of everything that crossed their path--birds, animals, plants, rocks, waterholes—and so singing the world into existence.” Given the fact that you’re now primed to create a new domain or two, Leo, may I suggest the aborigines’ approach?

In our continuing efforts to promote literacy and legalize gambling, here is this month’s official news quiz.Under the proposed “Eavesdropping Bill,” state officials will be allowed to:a. Listen to your phone conversations just because they don’t like you.b. Read your mail and email just because they don’t like you.c. Log which websites you visit just because they don’t like you.d. Drop really heavy eaves (but only with probable cause).Which of the following statements by the “Paesano Six” is a complete fabrication?a.