Frustrated by going out and meeting losers? Love is waiting for you online—if you know how to find it.

Considering the amount of time we spend in front of a computer screen, it’s no surprise that the internet is now one of the most popular ways to find love. It’s also a lot easier than the real thing—the butterflies in the stomach, working up the courage to approach, dropping the pick up line as casually as possible, dealing with rejection…all this is eliminated in the Cyber Meet Market. You can cruise as long as you want, flirt to your heart’s content, and meeting up face-to-face is only an option, not the rule. According to a 2000 BBC report, in the next 15 years, pick-up lines will disappear as everybody turns to internet dating. But with the ease that online dating affords comes a whole new set of challenges, including fierce competition and abundance of supply. How can you stand out from the crowd? We asked the experts.

Follow the Four P*s

There are plenty of dating sites, not to mention “networking” ones (MySpace, Hi5, etc.), where you can get connected with hundreds of online daters. So how can you reel in Mr. or Ms. Right? Marketing! With the right strategies, we all stand a good chance of finding our match. “The Four P’s” is a common business model used to market just about everything, so why not yourself?

Placement is how you show off just what a kind, witty and generally magnificent creature you are. More importantly, you need to promote the fact that you are single and available. According to GMM Grammy promoter Ratthakarn Noiprasit, who has mapped out the marketing plans for artists like Sleepless Society, Calorie Blah Blah, Endorphine and Bird Thongchai, it’s essential to be out there and network as much as possible. “When we begin representing new artists, it’s crucial to find out their unique selling point, determine who is the target audience and promote accordingly. And the internet has been really useful in promoting artists,” says Ratthakarn. “It helps the artists to reach millions of fans around the globe and allows these fans to chat directly with their favorite singers. Most people nowadays may not have time to watch TV or listen to the radio, but everyone is online.”

Toby Jones, founder of dating site, is of the same opinion. “You’ve got to remember that people are now regularly living on the internet—working, booking holidays, shopping, and even consulting doctors—so it’s no surprise that this trend extends to finding a partner. If you’re serious about promoting yourself on the love market, the internet is one of the easiest and quickest ways to start meeting people.”

Ready to harness the power of the internet to find love online? The key to maximizing your chances of chatting up the right people is to circulate your personal ad as much as possible. There’s no rule stating that you have to be loyal to only one service, so it’s advisable to register with more than one site. “You have to get your name out there and give yourself maximum exposure,” says Ratthakarn. “The more people get to know you, the higher your odds of success.” Myspace, Multiply, Asiandate—find the sites that meet your needs and preferences and post your profile on as many as you wish.

2. Promotion

Once you’ve got a solid online presence, it’s all about building up the right hype. Everyone is dating online, so you’ve got to stand out with your profile. Choose carefully what details you reveal and make sure your personal statement and homepage express what you’re looking for. “I don’t like to hand out advice about this, as what is attractive to me is going to be different for someone else,” says Jones. “However, I will say that humor always works well and I prefer reading about what someone is genuinely like, rather than stupid time-wasting one-liners like, ‘I like going out.’ Try and be yourself but work out what kind of person you want to attract,” he adds. “Tailor your statement to them. There’s no point in trying to write a generic profile to attract a million people because it just won’t say anything about who you really are.”

3. Pricing

How much are you really worth? Of course you’re hot, funny, and smart, but compared to others, the first step to hook up might be to get off your pedestal and set your expectations a tad lower.

A popular psychological theory called the matching hypothesis shows that we are more likely to form a long-term relationship with someone of equal attractiveness. So when it comes to assessing your value and the type of person you want to have a relationship with, you must be realistic. Unless you are logging onto, don’t have a long list of date criteria that must be filled—you’ll never find the perfect person who can tick all the boxes on your ten-page list of requirements and you just might put yourself off-limits to people you never thought you could get along with so well.

Don’t go for the first warm body that e-mails you either. It’s still important to remain picky, not undervalue yourself, and steer clear of damaged goods unworthy of yourself and of your hopes.

Pranom Thavaravej, international director of personal development institute John Robert Powers, points out that, at the end of the day, everyone can increase their “price.” Attractiveness, says Pranom, is a combination of various elements, from style to speech. But the most important is personality. “While chic outfits and pleasant tone are important, the most powerful weapon to impress people is a positive attitude,” says Pranom. “You can improve your style or lose weight but if you don’t respect and cherish yourself, who will?”

4. Product

If the online romance goes well, it’s time to meet up in person. To make a good first impression, it’s all about highlighting the good while downplaying the bad. The style, color and shape of your clothes speak volumes about who you are, so it’s vital to work out what you want your outfit to say about you. To be in trend, and at the same time still be yourself, lifestyle/fashion consultant of Gaysorn, Noppanuch Thongphakdi, recommends to make classic items (i.e. black dress, white shirt) your wardrobe staples. Then feel free to pair them up and play them off with bolder trends. “Getting dressed is supposed to be fun and creative. We shouldn’t have to limit ourselves with certain types of skirts or trousers just because we feel insecure about our body. Messing with your hair or dress all the time is a major turn-off. You should be confident and comfortable in your body; that makes you attractive.”

Noppanuch*s Tips for Styles That Flatter Your Figure

Hourglass: Think Nigella Lawson and Jennifer Lopez. No matter how much their weight fluctuates, they always have those tiny, curvy waists. Wearing something that clinches at the waist will make an hourglass-shaped gal look ultra-feminine and sexy. Keep an eye out for tulip skirts and platform shoes that help elongate legs and create a leaner silhouette.

Bottom heavy: A tunic paired with skinny jeans couldn’t be more unforgiving to your generous bottom. Show off your leaner upper body by wearing a scoop neck, sleeveless t-shirt. A low-slung belt and A-line skirt can do wonders to your hips as well.

Top heavy: Show off your skinny legs and slim hips by wearing a short dress. Wearing a loose top, maybe a size or two bigger will give the illusion that you are so thin, you’re practically drowning in them. Balance the look with shorts and ballet flats or even a mini-skirt, but only if you are under 25.

Skinny girl: Wear a potato sack with ballet flats and you can still manage to look divine. If you have few curves, avoid boxy shorts or fitted jackets. Opt for graceful, flowing styles instead.

Whether you are single, recently divorced and on the rebound, tired of cheesy one-liners at the pub or afraid of a face-to-face rejection, the internet dating scene is an inviting alternative. According to the latest government census, Bangkok now has 200,000 more men than women. Maybe this imbalance is why it’s so hard to run into your compatible mate in the offline world. However, there is a vast potential of e-daters that are just a click away. Next time you find yourself sobbing into your vodka while gently swaying about on an empty dance floor, think about signing up on a few dating sites. Romeo, or Juliet, could be just waiting for you to log on.

How to create the most inviting networking profile according to Toby Jones of

1. Include a photo—a really good one. In a recent focus group, only 10 percent of people said they would respond to postings without a photo. But don’t use a photo from your high school yearbook (well, unless you still are in high school). Recent pics that represent what you really look like will avoid disappointments and dates disappearing mid-meal.

2. Don’t include a photo of your genitals, your cat, or your mom.

3. Do have a good opening line, especially a funny one. Everyone loves a good sense of humor. If you don’t have one, get your funny friend who always gets all the chicks to write it for you.

4. Don’t list what you don’t like in a potential date—no one likes a whiner.

5. Don’t say you are looking to get married—you’ll scare everyone off.

6. Do write something other than, “Want to know more? IM me.” It doesn’t make you look mysterious, just lazy. There are thousands of profiles out there. No one will IM you.

7. Don’t bring your baggage along and start moaning about how your ex-boyfriend dumped you for your sister—this isn’t Oprah; no one cares.

8. Do be honest—it’s only fair and people are less likely to date and run.


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