All right, everyone knows Valentine's Day is a made-up thing to get people to spend money. But even people who grumble about it have got to acknowledge it somehow, or else risk the ire of their partners.

So we've put together a special guide that helps you navigate the cliches with as little cheese as possible. From picking out the perfect gift to planning the big day to selecting flowers and chocolates, we've compiled this completely idiot-proof, step-by-step guide to Valentine's Day with American Express.

You'll be armed with tons of great tips (we even got experts to weigh in on the basics, like how to pick out flowers and perfume) and irresistible deals, so there's something for every kind of couple, really. We've covered all the bases for those who are new to all this. But even those celebrating with particularly discerning (read: hard to please) partners will also find useful ideas, like secret menus and swanky spirits.

Ordinarily you'd have to be an American Express card member to view this, but just for you guys, we have it available for download right here. Time to get busy.