Happy Valentine’s, everyone. And by “everyone,” we mean those of you aren’t spending this Feb 14 swiping on the couch in your underpants. But don’t worry, you’re not alone. That’s why we dedicate the latest edition of BK (download the PDF here) to single people, with a pair of features all about the Bangkok dating scene (See Tales of the modern Bangkok dating scene and Bangkok's best bars for date night). Enough time on Tinder has also taught us that the world’s hook-up app terminology—f*ckboys, ghosts, catfish—just doesn’t cut it for this city. We’ve come up with some of our own.

 
Death by Taxi n. 

A date that starts out great but ends on life support after 45 minutes stuck in traffic at Asoke junction having the worst small-talk ever. “Yeah, Citi sure must charge a lot for that LED display. Are you interested in central urban billboard rates at all? No? Want to go back to mine? OK bye.”

Tigertrash n. 

A person from another country whose profile picture shows them petting a subdued tiger in some godforsaken tourist hell hole. So, basically, half the dudes from another country on Tinder.  

RTFML a. exclam. abbrv. 

Rooftop F*ck My Life. Used among close acquaintances to describe a date in which the non-financially encumbered party selects a venue like Sirocco or Moon Bar or any other damn place where the beers cost over B300. “‘Hey bro, where you taking her?’ ‘RTFML.’ ‘Shit, too bad.’”

Khaosaning v. 

Being forced all the way to Khaosan Road in the hope of hooking up. Present participle of Bangkok’s famous backpacker district. “I can’t come out tonight. I’m Khaosaning with some Dutch guy. OMFG he clearly works out, just wish she wasn’t tigertrash.”

Condo-stand v. 

To hit up an old one-night stand because you remember they lived in a pretty sweet apartment and you’re in the market for new digs right now and if your agent shows you one more 20 sq. meter hell hole in Punnawitihi you might kill yourself. “Screw it, I might just condo-stand that guy from Tinder, the one with the beer-belly, halitosis, dirty fingernails and dual-aspect windows with balconies leading round from the living space to the bedroom. I think he said 18k/month.”

Minions n. 

A prolific group of Bangkok-based Tinder users who pose next to the popular yellow characters from Despicable Me in all of their profile pics. “Dude, I’ve been swiping for hours and all I’ve seen are minions and co-workers. I’m deleting this app.”