Post-op female Yollada “Nok” Suanyot, president of the TransFemale Association of Thailand, opens up about her maternal instinct and why her reality TV show offering free gender reassignment surgeries has currently been put on hold by Channel 9.

I was born in Nan province. My dad was a cop and my mom has a grocery shop in a market.

I don’t know when I first wanted to be a girl. It was just instinctual.

I used to have personality problems because I wanted to be a girl even though had a boy’s body. I tried so hard to be a girl, and my parents didn’t know how to handle it or raise me.

My dad was so upset about my behavior. He threw a combat boot at me when I was in sixth grade. My mom said that she couldn’t accept my behavior and that I should just pick a gender, that if I wanted to be a girl, I should act like a real one. I have acted like a normal girl since then because I didn’t want to grow up a freak.

I skipped the last two years of high school because I was able to get into Thammasat University’s Food Science Program when I was only 16. I wanted to move to Bangkok as soon as possible when I found out that sex change surgery was available here. I didn’t want my penis anymore.

I don’t think of surgery as a choice but rather as a solution. My body was wrong, and I never accepted that I was a man. I had to go back to being a woman.

I underwent psychological testing for a year, in preparation for the surgery. Many people can’t pass this long term test. I did and was finally able to have the operation. I had to ask my mom to sign a consent form for me, as I was a minor back then.

My mom asked me, “Are you sure?” I told her that if she didn’t sign it, I would do it anyway as soon as I became of legal age.

When I woke up, I felt that this was my true life. I finally became what I should be, a woman.

I didn’t have to suffer anymore. This is my right body.

I decided to participate in beauty competitions because I felt that I was a woman and should have the right to go to the beauty pageants. But I was caught in one competition after they learned that I was a man with a fake ID card.

I was arrested but I didn’t feel any guilt. I believe that the law is wrong and forced me to act illegally.

I want to be a mom. I want to have children just like most women do. But I don’t know how. If there were wombs for sale in the market, I would buy one.

I told my boyfriend right away that I am not a real woman and he was fine with it. He just said, “Which part of your body is not a woman?” He sees me as a woman so we have a heterosexual relationship, not homosexual. Besides, now that I have some exposure in the media, I couldn’t have hidden the fact anyway.

Now I have established a cable channel called theJewelry Channel to sell my jewelry line, Carat & Secret.

After establishing the TransFemale Association of Thailand, I created the Sister’s Hand project to help those who suffer like I once did, but don’t have money to have the surgery. It was really traumatizing for me to be in the wrong body for 16 years, but what about those who are still stuck?

[The reality series] Kon Khon Kon, which follows people undergoing the surgery for a year, was cancelled because the censors misunderstood GID (Gender Identity Disorder) and felt that the surgery is merely cosmetic.

They don’t understand that having GID really impacts our mind. The surgery is the only way to fix our bodies to match our minds. The program also intends to make people understand GID as well as help those who are still confused about what they are.

I don’t judge who is better. Everyone is equal. We’re not trying to create conflict with this show. We have only one world to live in together. We can’t move to live on another planet.

The hardest thing that people like me are facing is violence. It comes from family and from society. People see us as clowns and some abuse our rights as human beings.

Please stop treating us like this. Our life is already miserable because we can’t have the body that corresponds to our mind. Only understanding can help us.

I will continue this project to help those in need. If anyone wants to stop it they have to ban sex change surgery, too.


Leave a Comment