Imagine being sued for B400 million. Imagine being sued by the company that was, until recently, owned by the prime minister of the country you were born and raised in and love dearly. Media reform activist and secretary general for the Campaign for Media Reform (CPMR) Supinya Klangnarong, 32, is an unlikely David to Shin Corp’s Goliath, but there she is facing a potential fine greater than what she will ever make as an activist. Perhaps sometime soon, or by the time you are reading this, Shin’s new owners will have come to their senses and dropped this ridiculous two-year-old lawsuit. If not, then keep your fingers crossed until March 15, when the Criminal Court is set to deliver a verdict.

The lawsuit totally changed my life. It was very unexpected. I’ve never experienced anything like the way people react to me now. I guess this is what happens to anyone in the public eye, whether they are a movie star or a politician.

This is like a turning point for me. I must decide which way to go. Many people expect that I will become more political, become a politician or maybe run for the senate, but so far I don’t have plans to do that.

It’s not easy to be a politician. You have to be able to handle everything that comes your way. I don’t think I have been able to do this over the past two years. Maybe I seem OK in public, but I think I am still learning how to deal with it on an emotional level.

People think that I am strong, but I cry most of the time. If I were really strong, then I would be joyful most of the time. But there are things that nobody else can see. When you are alone, you can be very sad and very lonely.

When the spotlight comes on, it’s like I’m on stage and I’m just acting. I don’t mean that what you see is fake—it is a performance, but a performance that reflects my faith and my beliefs.

I do what I do because I believe in it. People have different talents and interests. My strengths are my strong beliefs, my faith, my opinions and my ability to express them—particularly in public.

I often question myself and my decisions, especially when I’m confused and lonely. I’m at the age where I’m going to a lot of my friends’ weddings, and they are raising babies and stuff. But I’m still single. I don’t have any plans to get married or to raise a family. I just have too much responsibility at work. And my life was this way even before the lawsuit, for the full 10 years that I’ve been working.

I’m a so-called “working woman,” but my close friends have told me that I lack experience in living—in life. I’m mature when it comes to work, but not in personal relationships. I think this is my problem.

I have asked myself many times if I would have done anything differently knowing that things would turn out this way. My answer is, “No, of course not.” I believe that I did nothing wrong, and if I don’t believe that what I did was right, how can I try to get others to believe in these things?

Though this case has brought on many bitter stories, it has also brought many beautiful stories. Along the way I have met many good people, and some have come along to support me or be a witness. It’s abstract but it’s beautiful and really encouraging.

I see the world as a darker place than I did before, but now I realize that whether it is dark or bright, it doesn’t matter as long as I accept that good things and bad things can happen. So the question is how can I keep my heart and mind free?

What I learned from this case is how to be really free. Freedom from fear and freedom from worry. I’m not yet successful at it, but I’m learning.