My mom abandoned me when I was two years old. She ran away from my father’s family because they didn’t like her job as a singer. I only found out the truth when I finally met her just before she died from cancer four years ago.

I have been transgender for as long as I can remember. I had to switch my personality between home and school. I would be a normal boy when I was with my family and a toot when I was at school.

My father played an important role in my life. Even though he was really clever and could speak at least eight languages, he couldn’t hold back from gambling, hard drinking and smoking. He passed away before I took the entrance exam for university.

I’m so proud that I created the first Thai boy band, U4. I recruited all three members by myself before walking into the record label KITA, who signed us on the spot. We released our first album in 1992.

I had no qualms about having to act like a handsome guy while in U4. That’s what I had done all my life.

I’m an unlucky transgender. Whenever I feel that my life will get better, there’s bound to be a disaster waiting to happen.

Make a living. That’s my only motto. No one cared about me when KITA ended. I desperately needed money. I had lost my home and my properties. I could have gone into meltdown but I didn’t because I had to take care of my family.

I had to sing at massage parlors and restaurants, earning about B600 per night. I had to eat instant noodles and drink tap water for years to repay my debts. But I made it.

There’s no point pretending to be someone for others. I waited for five years hoping that the entertainment industry would welcome me back. Eventually, I decided to expose myself as a transgender because I had nothing to lose.

Don’t believe everything you see. I decided to get cosmetic surgery at what turned out to be an illegal clinic. Their fake silicone destroyed my face.

This disaster put me back in the spotlight as a boy-band member-turned-transgender. Finally, the entertainment industry gave a shit about me.

I still didn’t have that many jobs so I clung to my life as a singer at nightclubs. My emotional state really deteriorated. I tried to take my life with a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Luckily my friends got me to hospital on time.

I tried being a prostitute in Germany. My friends bought me a ticket there so that I could get away from my shit life here. I just did it for fun, but I didn’t find any buyers. One foreigner came up to me and told me that I should do something else with my life. After this I decided to focus again on being a singer and a fortuneteller.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t pay for male prostitutes anymore. I felt so guilty when I found out the first guy I bought was just 15 years old. It’s pathetic seeing a young man try to sell himself for just B300.

I regret only two things in my life: not ordaining into the monkhood for my parents and smoking. I hope to quit one day.

Seeing bad role models makes you stay away from bad things. I’ve done all the drugs but never become addicted. It’s too expensive. I saw all walks of life when I went around town to the dirty nightspots with my dad who was a cabby. I know how it ends.

I got married once back in 2001. He was my first man and he really loved me. But I broke up with him after he became too jealous and had a brawl with my client, so that we both lost our jobs. Our love couldn’t survive this.

A near-fatal car accident brought an end to my addiction to cosmetic surgery. My face was all messed up and it made me realize that living life must come first.

I don’t want a sex change because I love being a katoey.

The idea of a transgender changing their title to Mrs. or Miss is idiotic. You can never ever compare to a real women who can give birth to a child. And wouldn’t you feel sorry for any man who marries someone who isn’t a real woman despite what their ID claims?

Thai society gives katoey very few options to earn a living. Sometimes they’re forced into being a prostitute. I’ve never seen a transgender get a good job like an engineer or an architect.

For those transgender who want to get respect, prove yourself by finding a good job.

It’s a real honor to have a role in Lam Sing Singer even though I had to give up other jobs for it. I’m so glad to finally have the chance to show that I’m still capable of working in entertainment.

I dream of doing an annual stand-up comedy show, just like Udom “Note” Taepanich or Apaporn Nakhonsawan. It must feel great to make thousands of people laugh at the same time.

I believe transgenders can find true love, just stay away from guys who can’t earn a living.