Chinese New Year is coming, so brace yourselves for the barrage of questions and other nonsense your relatives will spring on you. Trust us, we've been there. Here are the questions we've all experienced at some point (though hopefully not all at once).

1.
Them: Aiya, I'm shen mu / gu jie / jiu mu / gu zhang / bo zu fu. Forget me issit?
You:

2.
Them: So when are you going to get a boyfriend?
You:

3.
Them: Won't get lonely meh?
You:

4.
Them: Oh you guys broke up! What did you do?
You:

5.
Them: When are you getting married?
You:

6.
Them: You know your cousin ah, getting married this year at St Regis leh!
You:

7.
Them: Then you leh? When are you having children?
You:

8.
Them: Why are you so fat? So fat liddat cannot find boyfriend/girlfriend leh!
You:

9.
Them: Are you working? How much they pay you? No promotion yet?
You:

10.
Them: You old already, still got to give you angpow leh
You:

11.
Them: Your office people handsome not? Got chio bu not?
You:

12.
Them: Why are you still eating? Not enough ah?
You:

13.
Them: Wah you bet so much ah? I thought you say you no money?
You:

14.
Them: When will you start dressing like a lady?
You: