How well have you been paying attention?

1. What’s the one piece of good news from BTS stations this month?

a) They’re finally running an ad campaign that doesn’t feature Yaya, Nadech or both.
b) The machines now accept two-baht coins.
c) They worked out their issues with the MRT and now you can use one card for both services.
d) A new sponsorship deal with MK means station guards perform a funky choreographed dance at 6pm every day.

2. Math problem: 12 plus 8 equals what?

a) 20
b) 4
c) The age we lost our virginity.
d) A massive headache for Chumchon Wat Nong Tamlueng School in Chonburi.

3. What will the increase in your monthly social security payment go towards?

a) Pension provisions.
b) Better state welfare in times of unemployment.
c) National healthcare.
d) A table for top junta brass at Alain Ducasse’s new riverside restaurant.

4. Which of these popular but illegal local pastimes have we voted not to punish more harshly?

a) Building resorts on national park land in Khao Yai.
b) Snorting ice and playing mahjong in back-alley gambling dens.
c) Taking kickbacks off of the guy building the resort on national park land in Khao Yai.
d) Driving without a license.

5. Wearing a T-shirt with a white-and-red striped flag on it means what?

a) You will be taken by soldiers from your home and put in attitude adjustment.
b) You run a seditious Facebook page with really low engagement ratings.
c) You stand united with the BK Alliance Against Putting Cream in Carbonara.
d) You play football for Peru. 

1 The correct answer is (b). Hey, did you see Yaya uses the new Oppo F7?
2 The correct answer is (a). Unless you go to Chumchon Wat Nong Tamlueng School, in which case it’s (b). Ah screw it, at least we know which one it’s definitely not and that’s (c).
3 We have another 30 years to go until we reach retirement age and find out the full answer to this, but we’re not holding out much hope for (a-c).
4 The correct answer is (d), as reported in a survey that came out the same month a kid without a license crashed his sports car into a family pick-up.
5 The correct answer is (a), you treacherous republican bastard. Unless you do play for Peru, in which case it’s cool.