Think you know all there is to know about the latest restrictions? Test your knowledge here.
 
Convenience stores:
 
A. Must close between 8pm and 4am
B. Are now offering vaccines but only for members of the CP ALL loyalty program
C. Are the only pandemic-proof business and will outlast us all
D. Aren’t so convenient anymore, now, are they?
 
Travel to/from dark red zones:
 
A. So strongly discouraged right now that the authorities have set up checkpoints at outbound roads
B. Airlines have gone bankrupt and can’t afford to fly, so you couldn’t travel even if you wanted to
C. Shipping containers are being set up around the city to prevent you fr— never mind, those have been quickly and efficiently erected to deter protests, not travel
D. Can’t hear you over the waves crashing into shore, but how’s Bangkok treating you?
 
Restaurants in dark red zones:
 
A. Are allowed to stay open for takeaway and/or delivery
B. Are allowed to stay open for takeaway and/or delivery, unless they’re located in a mall, in which case they must close entirely
C. Are wondering what shit life decisions led us to this moment
D. All of the above
 
Vaccine appointments:
 
A. Can go ahead as scheduled, although vaccination sites must close by 8pm
B. lol vaccine appointment, what’s that?
C. But seriously, you got an appointment? How’d you do that?
D. All of the above
 
Dark red zone provinces:
 
A. There are 13 such provinces, mostly in central Thailand but also in southern Thailand
B. Kind of feels like everywhere is a dark red zone
C. Wouldn’t mind being designated with a less ominous color, like bubblegum pink or perhaps sky blue
D. All of the above
 
Answer Key
 
A, although possibly also C and D
A… sorry :-\
B
D
A… really, just A
 
Note: This is satire. If you think this article is a real accounting of events, please consider going back to bed and getting some rest.