1. Gather for drinks with your well-off friends and discuss how you’d love to open a restaurant like the ones you miss from college in New York.


2. Go to your parents and each ask for 4 million baht.


3. Make a Pinterest board of all the stuff you like from Brooklyn.


4. Show it to Begray and ask them to create something EXACTLY like it.


5. Find a chef. Good luck! Your friend Pancake just graduated from Le Cordon Bleu. She has no experience whatsoever but 80,000 people follow her Instagram bakery.



6. Now you need a celeb partner. Which is easy, since a guy you went to college with now stars in the Gossip Girl remake.


7. Choose a name by combining two European words from different languages—one of which has to be an animal.


8. Hire Ploy Chaunpis to draw you a logo. Specify you want a cross at a 90 degree angle, but make it clear that you’re very open-minded—she doesn’t need to use a knife and fork.



9. Hire some Swedish people to make a cocktail menu of classics with playful tweaks out of home-infused spirits. These can all be sold for over B400, no matter how much alcohol is in them.


10. Devise a “nose-to-tail” menu serving nothing but prime cuts... and a sausage.


11. Buy the URL of your restaurant name and design a "Coming Soon" landing page. Then completely ignore your new website and start a Facebook page instead.

Wait. Didn't this place open in like 2012?


12. Look for a cool old warehouse location. Give up and rent space in a new community mall instead.


13. Start sending out news about your restaurant to local media so they can blog a succession of opening dates, all of which are wrong.


14. Great, now you're open! Wait six months until all the buzz has died down and then hold a Gatsby-themed grand opening party. 


15. Start losing money hand over fist. Shut it down and launch again with a new "Peruvian-Japanese concept."