One moment Kira from the movie Death Note, the next, a German S&M dominatrix from the musical Cabaret, and another moment, Jessica Alba from the Tiger Beer ad. Actress Judy Ngo is going to poke fun at several familiar characters in the show Forbidden Chestnuts: Portrait of a Brokeback Geisha. One thing’s for sure, a wacky time is guaranteed in this crazy musical. We engaged her in a quick banter as she spoofs the role of the auntie featured in the counter-terrorism ad you see in MRTs (yes, that one).

First, what was the audition for the video on counter-terrorism like?
I rehearsed for months before the audition. It was an extremely hard audition. All of us had to do three rounds of screen tests, plus a 100-meter dash to the MRT emergency button, plus show extreme fear calmly, plus display our ability to talk without being heard at all!

Now, tell us, what should we do when we see an unaccompanied bag?
Never open an unaccompanied bag in the MRT, it might be a Recycled Bad Christmas Present (RBCP), which you would have to claim if you so much as touch it. Anyone who disclaims ownership of their RBCP is not only extremely suspicious, they are liars as well.

You sound a little paranoid… Erm, do you get very nervous when you see people carrying bags on the MRT?
Yes, and the bigger the bag, the more nervous I get! Once I even attacked a mother who was carrying a huge diaper bag, and I only realized my mistake when both she and her baby started crying! Another time, it was a student with his oversized tennis bag. Then there was that incident with the soldier and his Ali Baba bag…

And has any one asked you for autographs after the release of the video?
Yes, I even get offered free taxi rides, which is my main mode of transport after making the video. I can no longer take the MRT without fighting with fellow passengers.

Well, do you think making this counter-terrorism video is your step towards fame?
Of course, I now get free chicken rice at hawker centers just like some local celebrities!

Any producer approached you to be starred in another film yet?
I think Jerry Bruckheimer has spoken to my agent about casting me in CSI season 7 as “Panic Metro Lady No.3.” Also depending on Bruce Willis’s schedule, we might co-star in a local version of Die Hard titled Die Already Lah, to be released in 2008!