Enough’s enough, we say it’s time to act to protect our aging authorities after they were bitterly humiliated by technology’s wicked ways twice in just one short week. First, Pol Maj Gen Pisit Pao-in threatened to jail anyone who liked an offensive post, then said he had full access to our Line accounts. (He doesn’t.) That was followed by Pheu Thai MP for Nong Khai Pongpan Sunthornchai getting caught looking at scantily clad ladies on his new government-issued iPad during the parliamentary session. When asked why he was browsing erotica during a house session, he explained he had no idea how to use the device, had ended up on that page by mistake, and that he wanted to return the tablet immediately.

Are we going to let technology continue to ridicule the old men who run Thailand? Are we going to just stand by and watch as our distinguished Members of Parliament and our honorable Major Generals are made to look like fools? Definitely, not! Sign this petition if you too want parliament to ban anything that can’t be understood by men born before 1969.

Of course, your lifestyle will need some fine-tuning as you retire your Samsung S4 and dig out your old Nokia 3310—the last make of phone our politicians and top brass can still just about operate. We’ll also have to ask Iran to build us an email intranet that cuts us off from the rest of the world and doesn’t allow attachments. This is to prevent any unwanted surprises, such as clicking on a sneakily named file, such as BIGTITS-69-XXX.jpg, and being assaulted by a NSFW (or NSFP) image. And definitely no websites!

We understand you’ve grown accustomed to sending animated pictures of cats as a way to express your innermost feelings. But the return to a simpler life we’re advocating is critical for the welfare of our elders. The guys in charge are already on the edge of senility. They are confused and angry. What we need is an environment where they feel safe, a world that looks and feels more like the late 1980s and less like 2013.

So sign our petition at world-for-old-men.or.th, today. Together, we can turn back the clock!