We got 165 responses to our little sex apps survey. Only one of them identified as a gay woman and three as bisexuals, hence the sad decision we made to leave them out of our graphs entirely. (One had a great story, though, read it below.) Also, note that 70 percent of the respondents were gay men, and the breakdown for the straight respondents is 60 percent male to 40 percent female.
Matt F., 35, IT personnel
“Of course I would like to have a relationship, but it’s a gamble, even when you match with someone else who’s seeking a relationship. You might realize that she isn’t the one for you after a few dates, or you may click with her, but she may ditch you for someone else she swiped right to. To avoid disappointment, it’s best to be open about what you want when you go on Tinder.”
Justine, 36, entrepreneur
“I hardly go on my dating apps anymore, but when I had just become newly single, I would go on it very often for some rebound sex.”
Ploy R., 25, student
“I don’t like the idea of randomly hooking up with someone, so that’s not what I’m looking for on Tinder. I would like to find a boyfriend but it’s just hard to meet new people outside your group of friends or place of work, so I downloaded Tinder and OkCupid to look for potential serious relationships.”
Mai, 22, hospitality staff
“I first downloaded Grindr and Jack’d because my friend found his boyfriend through there. It would be nice to have a boyfriend, but a random hook-up wouldn’t hurt either.”
Kevin D., 31, lawyer
“I don’t think you can download a dating app with the goal of being in a relationship. If you do, you’re going to have to brace yourself for heartbreak. Personally, if a guy on Grindr hits me up, chances are he wants to just hook up, but I’ll take the risk and go anyway. If we get along very well and end up dating, great! But if not, at least the hook-up was great… hopefully.”
Phol, 24, sales associate
“I mostly go on the app for some NSA [no strings attached] fun. A lot of the best looking guys are in open relationships, so why not?”
STRAIGHT: Tinder
92% of dating app users’ app of choice
Pim G., 25, consultant
“I’ve played around with Tinder, OKCupid and Skout, only to delete everything but Tinder. The other apps are honestly kind of creepy—I feel a lot safer and less exposed with Tinder because I can only talk to people I match with and can weed out the ones that aren’t my type. I get a lot less creepy messages.”
GAY MEN: Grindr
69% of dating app users’ app of choice
Ben R., 31, accountant
“I have both Tinder and Grindr, but prefer Grindr because I get more hook-ups out of it. It’s probably because I can freely send a message to anyone who catches my eye. With Tinder, I’ll have to wait for them to like me back, and sometimes they don’t show up until three days later. I also feel Tinder's a little more judgmental towards looks. It isn’t practical if you want a one-and-done.”
James T., 24, translator
“I’m always down to hook up, but some of my matches just like to play games. They lead me on and then they always ‘have to go home,’ when I start to invite them over.”
Alice C., 24, underwriter
“I’m on it for fun. I’ve only met up with two people and I hooked up with both of them. But if I don’t find them attractive or cool in real life, I’d probably run for my life.”
Beer S., 31, consultant
“I’ve gone on multiple dates, but I haven’t hooked up with anyone! The girl I recently went out with lives with her dad and has a curfew, too!”
Richard S., 48, business owner
“I only go on Grindr to hook up, so if anyone hits me up, I’m game.”
Allen C., 33
“If I’m not physically attracted to someone I go on a date with, then I’ll politely excuse myself before they mention sex.”
Kaew, 21, student
“I’ve been seeing this guy I met on Tinder for almost two months now. We’d hang out and hook up. I really like him, but he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend yet. I hate to admit it but I actually do go on Tinder to see when he was last active… Yup, he’s still swiping, so I don’t know how serious it is. I really hope this is going somewhere and I’m not wasting my time.”
Zach, 35, business owner
“I hook up twice a week with this girl I met on Tinder. Pretty sure she likes me, but I don’t know how I feel about her yet.”
Eric, 32, designer
“Of course, I want a boyfriend, but I haven’t found the right guy yet. And when I’ve hooked up with someone I met on Grindr and want to hook up again after a night out, I end up hitting them up again to hook up. When I've hooked up with someone multiple times without going on a proper date with them, the sex has been good, but I've never wanted to call them a boyfriend.”
Ten, 25, student
“I saw this hot guy on Jack’d but he was surrounded by his good-looking friends, so I was too scared to go up to him. Luckily for me, he hit me up on Grindr at 3am and we hooked up at my place. While he’s only hit me up when he wants to hook up after that incident, I’m actually surprised because he’s so good looking I thought it was a one and done from the start.”
FAMILY AFFAIR
Victor, 21-30, male interested in males
"I was chatting with a guy for days. When we finally met at his place, he was drunk off his face, and post-coital proceeded to show me pictures of his wife and two-year-old daughter. The cringe was high that night, my friends."
BITCH PLEASE
Pie, 26, female interested in females
“I matched with this super hot girl—tall, long hair, etc. Lipstick lezzie, for sure. We texted a little and found out we were going to the same party. I told her to tap my shoulder when she sees me, forgetting that the Tinder account was my friend's. It was too far into the conversation to tell her so I ended up dragging the friend to the party too, hoping I could reintroduce myself. We looked for her everywhere but we thought she might have left cause she didn’t even answer my text. So I was like, 'Fine! Let's hit the loo then leave.' While I was queuing, there was a really drunk ladyboy puking near the line. She looked quite similar to the girl I was supposed to meet, so I stared at her. She looked at me and swore, 'Never seen someone puke, bitch?' I was soooo shocked! When I finally walked out, the ladyboy was all over my friend, talking and leaning in very closely. I laughed so hard but kept my distance. But my friend was all like, 'Bitch help!'"
PYRAMID SCARE
Ronald, 31, male interested in females
“The first date was great, a casual dinner. We had long conversations and realized we had so much in common. We didn’t hook up, but we hung out till very late. She told me she sold Amway part time—cool, whatever, at least she’s hardworking. On the next date, she brought her Amway products and asked if I was interested in anything. I said no, and we continued as if everything was normal. We went to the movies, dinner, lunch, even to concerts, and she would keep bringing up Amway. Every time I tried to make a move, she would leave saying she lives far away. Finally, she texted me and asked if she could come to my apartment to hang out. I got all dressed up and went to pick her up in my condo’s lobby, only to see her with a bunch of files… Amway files. We hugged and she asked if I wanted extra income. I said no, but she went on and on about selling Amway. I finally asked if she wanted to come upstairs, but she insisted on staying in the lobby. Frustrated, I asked if we could stop talking about Amway. She said no, left, and I never saw her again.”
40-YEAR-OLD FREAK
Elle, 21-30, female interested in males
“The first time I treated my match as a hook-up, I agreed to meet this guy at his place because he looked really cute in the pictures. As soon as I showed up, I noticed he was: a) shorter than me. I’m 5-foot-1 and don’t usually complain about height; b) looked like the 40-year-old version of his pics; c) had a messy room and a huge stuffed teddy bear on his single bed. As soon as he said he needed to use the bathroom, I quietly snuck out, ran three blocks, caught a cab, went home and just used my vibrator.”
