I’ve always wanted to be an actress as far back as I can remember. When I was in second grade I was chosen to be a cheerleader. It felt so cool to dress up beautifully, dance and have everyone come to see me.
When I was little, I thought of acting as expressing yourself in order to gain people’s attention. It’s a lot more than that. It’s about getting into someone’s heart and finding that person hidden inside you.
I never knew it was possible to have a career as an acting coach. Luckily, my teacher would tell us students that in order to find ourselves we must participate in all sorts of activities. That’s how I found my dream job—teaching people to act.
I started my job in casting. The problem was I would spend too much time trying to make every applicant right for the role, rather than picking the right one to start with. I felt that everyone can do it, and it’s down to me to ensure they do.
My boss then asked me to coach children. I love observing people and overcoming obstacles. I learned that children don’t do what they are told. So, I would tell them to stop smiling—and that’s when we would get the perfect shot! Not long after I was recruited to work with the child actors on Fan Chan (My Girl).
People in Asia, particularly Thailand, are taught to restrain from being expressive, but the world of acting sets them free. It’s like they get to experience things that they can’t do in real life.
I remember watching the movie Revolutionary Road and Kate Winslet was crying while laughing. I was crying along with her, as what she conveyed really hit me. Thais don’t usually achieve this because we are taught one-dimensional patterns of emotion: anger means to scrunch up your mouth and raise your voice, sadness is to sob. Human emotions are much more complex than that.
Acting lets you share the same breath as your character. Your heart beats in the same time. When the character’s hands go cold, yours do too. That’s the case with good actors, anyway.
Acting has always had a bad rap in Thailand. Some people think it’s an easy thing, not something to be learned. Just copying and making faces. Studying acting is to know how to fake your emotion. In fact, acting provides the space to unmask yourself and face your true emotions. If you don’t know your emotions, you will become their slave.
You are not your clothes, makeup or hair. That’s just your appearance, not you. I can wear anything to my classes; it doesn’t change the knowledge I have in my head.
Thai people have not been trained to be thinkers from a young age. Once in a while they have an idea, and then they try desperately to protect it. Even if they know they are wrong, they are not going to accept it.
Studying acting in the States, I learned to let go of my ego. I went from being afraid of receiving feedback to accepting whatever the tutors say about me, which has pushed my boundaries even further.
I saw people practicing their lines alone on the train in New York. At first, I thought they were mental, but then I started doing it as well. It’s so liberating to do what you want without caring about what others think.
My problem was my health. I used to work non-stop for three months, sometimes until 3am in the morning, and carry on the next day. I needed to stop and ask myself, what do I live for?
I want to do a solo performance, in which I play seven different characters, which will happen next year. I also want to make a semi-improvised movie where I direct actors who, when I throw something at them, can manage to take charge of their role.
My favorite actress is Meryl Streep, who manages to balance her life so well. She diversifies her acting roles and always adapts to them brilliantly, while also doing a great job as a mother and wife.
I always ask myself whether my job is right for me or not. You need to follow your feelings, without bringing in other factors that bother you like workload—they will only confuse you in making the right decision.
