While the Diane von Furstenberg, Thakoon and Sabrina Goh shows at Singapore Fashion Week (May 13-17) are all very exciting, we’re really just going for the people-watching. Here are the six species we’re most looking forward to catching.
 

1. Counselor of Camp

Key outfit components: Well-tailored suit in wild colors such as orange and yellow. Bowtie strictly necessary.
Likely reason for being there: Invited by PR to lend cred and eccentricity to the event.

2. Aging Bombshell

Key outfit components: Fabulous one-shoulder dress in dramatic print, chunky jewelry and resting buzz-off face.
Likely reason for being there: She’s either the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine or Diane von Furstenberg.

3. Faux-Edgy Fashion Reporter

Key outfit components: Printed man-repeller jumpsuit, gigantic Jeffrey Campbell boots and a monster Canon DSLR. 
Likely reason for being there: Free tickets for blog coverage.

4. Hopelessly Straight Uncle 

Key outfit components: Conservative tie, pleated pants.
Likely reason for being there: He’s the MP guest of honor.

 

5. Dowager Countess

Key outfit components: Ruffles, bows, shoulder pads, pearl necklace and shiny polyester. 
Likely reason for being there: She’s the chairperson of one of the corporate sponsors.

 

6. Underdressed Sporty Dude

Key outfit components: White t-shirt stretched over pecs and biceps, jeans rolled over boots and baseball cap.
Likely reason for being there: He’s one of the designers.

This is satire, not news.