Mr. KIA Dec 24

Type: 

Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
I need a bodyguard. I live alone, wear lots of jewelry and sexy clothing, and get home from work in the wee hours of the morning. I’ve heard of women getting robbed, raped and sometimes killed in public and I don’t want to be a part of the statistics. Can you be my bodyguard?—Damsel In This Dress
Dear DITD,

Topics: 
city living
Author: 
I-S staff
Issue Date: 
2010 Dec 23 - 23:00
PullQoute: 

I need a bodyguard. I live alone, wear lots of jewelry and sexy clothing, and get home from work in the wee hours of the morning. I’ve heard of women getting robbed, raped and sometimes killed in public and I don’t want to be a part of the statistics. Can you be my bodyguard?—Damsel In This Dress

It’s been a crazy 2010, with unprecedented club and restaurant openings, unforgettable concerts and gigs (plus some no-shows), unpredictable trends and jaw-dropping headlines. Here are the highlights.

January

Please Mr. Postman
In an eventful start to the year, for SingPost anyway, an outbreak of graffiti art targeting post boxes around the country turned out to be a misguided publicity stunt to promote the Youth Olympic Games.

Porky Problems
Not wanting to offend the Muslim community in Singapore, McDonald’s pulled the pig out of their Doraemon Chinese Zodiac toy line-up. The replacement? A cupid.

Live and Kickin’
The onslaught of great international live acts kicked off with the much-anticipated performance by Karen O and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs which had us going “Oh, yeah!” all night long.

February

Terrific Trio
Florence + The Machine, The xx and Echo and the Bunnymen took to the Esplanade stages and blew us away.

Missing the point 
Heartland ah lian Ris Low was crowned Miss Singapore-Universe, despite her mangled English and erratic mannerisms.

Basically brilliant
LTJ Bukem with MC Conrad in tow unleashed massive doses of drum ‘n’ bass on to Home Club’s floor, one of the best nightlife gigs this year.

Casino Royale
Resorts World Sentosa opens.

March

Neo Way
Formerly wholesome director of simply awful movies Jack Neo made the effortless transition to womanizer and national pariah after news of his extramarital affairs and attempted-but-failed-extramarital affairs broke.

Now You See Them…
…now you don’t. No, we’re not talking about magicians but stars and productions that promised a good show but never even showed up. They include Singapore Repertory Theatre’s Blackbird, Tom Jones and The Killers.

April

Stranded
Changi Airport became a temporary residence for many grounded travelers after the Eyjafjallajokull volcano erupted.

Repeat Telecast
When you run out of ideas, recycle old ones. Restagings this year included Stella Kon’s Emily of Emerald Hill, Dick Lee’s Fried Rice Paradise and W!ld Rice’s Cinderel-LAH!.

Tres Chic!
La Maison opened next to Mimolette to offer us a slice of Parisian chic. Brought to us by hipster Parisian street artist Andre Saraiva, the club kicked off with invite-only dos attracting young models and music lovers alike.

Un-Bay-Lievable!
Marina Bay Sands roared into life on April 27 at the apparently auspicious time of 3.18pm. Things took a dip the week after, however, after the inaugural conference (involving lawyers no less) was plagued with problems. Lifts got stuck, construction noises deafened delegates, piped music in meeting rooms could not be turned off and phones were not connected, among a list of other hilarious faults.

World Gourmet Summit 2010
The 14th World Gourmet Summit saw the appearance of master chefs aplenty (including elBulli’s Ferran Adrià, L’osier’s Bruno Ménard and Ristorante Trussardi Alla Scala’s Andrea Berton).

Life’s a peach
Electro dance queen Peaches stirred the crowd during her unforgettable gig at Zirca, where she stepped all over punters, forced them to carry her and even spewed liquid on ‘em. Such a dame.

May

Oh Dear!
American DJ Matthew Dear dropped by Velvet Underground for a deep, smooth and throbbing set that had us dancing till the lights came on. Probably the best dance music set we’ve heard in a long, long time.

Party Shifts
Invite-only after-hours party people Midnight Shift threw its second do at the new La Maison. Detroit legends Octave One were on deck duties, cementing Midnight Shift’s status as one of the most-talked about parties in town.

Ooh la la
Tanjong Beach Club opened, adding a slice of St. Tropez in Sentosa. The swanky retro-luxe restaurant and bar sees the city’s who’s who fighting for space in the sun lounges.

Kode Red
Beat experimentalists Kode 9 and Kyle Hall invaded *Scape for one of the most-talked parties of the year—Heineken Green Room.

Kallang Gore
A series of random slashing robberies in Kallang struck horror into the hearts of Singaporeans before the perpetrators were quickly arrested. The gang of as many as seven attackers was made up of Sarawakians working here as odd-job laborers.  

Find out why 2010 is a year for epicureans

June

Street Style
The rights and wrongs of caning were again to the fore as Swiss software consultant Oliver Fricker was punished for graffiting an MRT train.

Sungei Orchard
In a scene straight out of a low-budget disaster movie, Orchard Road experienced its worst floods in over a century. Basement shops were completely submerged, shoppers were stranded and cars stalled on the road. For the rest of the year, every heavy downpour would be accompanied by a just-in-case flashflood warning from the National Environment Agency.

Injury Time
Having two cable TV operators in Singapore has had many “consumer benefits”: extra subscription fees, unnecessary TV table clutter and the joy of being told by a phone operator that “services are not available in your area.” Fortunately the clowns got one thing right, eventually securing the rights to the 2010 FIFA World Cup, fittingly (given their nincompoopery), at a price higher than the rest of the world.  

Beer-y Good!
A heady list of specialty beer bars, each with its own unique concept opened up this year adding more foamy goodness to the drinking scene, including Malted Milk at Studio M Hotel.

Critical Reception
The always brilliant Christopher Nolan delivered a mind-boggling and emotional tour de force of a film about the power of dreams (and reality) in the blockbuster Inception starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Who says you can’t dream big?

 

July

Deathwish
If ever Singapore falls in livability rankings, there’s always… die-ability. Singapore came out a respectable 18th worldwide in the inaugural “Quality of Death” index, making it the second best place in Asia to meet your demise.

Shadr-ache
Completing the hattrick of major legal incidents, veteran British journalist Alan Shadrake was arrested for alleged criminal defamation as author of the controversial book Once A Jolly Hangman: Singapore Justice In The Dock. The book covers several incidents in Singapore involving the death penalty and features conversations with the jolly hangman himself Darshan Singh. Shadrake was convicted, and sentenced to six weeks in prison and over $20,000 in fines. 

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
The pop-up store concept was taken to the next level with ping pong bar Camp Pong, which lasted through October, a major hit among trendsetters and the sportier set. Can we have a pop-up bowling alley next, please?

Hit the Roof!
Together with the people behind Harry’s, Dutch expat Orhan Koc (the man who brought Supperclub here) and local veteran deejay Godwin Pereira teamed up to set up Ying Yang atop the Club Hotel. Since five of anything is proof of a trend, other rooftop bars that made their debut this year include Lantern, Fabrika, 1-Altitude and 282.

August

Why? Oh Gee
After a two year wait, the inaugural Youth Olympic Games (YOG) finally got underway. Unfortunately, so much time was spent talking about Singapore’s quality as a venue that nobody bothered to get the public excited about the actual sports. The result? Nearly empty venues for many events.

Tab Out
New live music venue Tab opened at Orchard Hotel. Its slew of hot acts quickly made it a contender on the scene.

Biggest Loser
The house always wins. Someone who can testify to that is Henry Quek, managing director of a seafood supply company, who managed to lose $26,000,000 at Resorts World Sentosa.

Young Guns
Newbie filmmaker Boo Junfeng proved his mettle with his solid debut Sandcastles, which was also shown at the Cannes Film Festival. The young Han Yew Kwang also premiered his comedy When Hainan Meets Teochew to mostly positive reviews a few months later.

Sing Along Now
30 Seconds to Mars, Smashing Pumpkins and Kanye West turned up the volume and brought the open space of Fort Canning Park to life with their performances at SingFest.  

September

The Return of the Kingpin
Terrorist leader Mas Selamat Kastari was finally brought back to Singapore more than two years after he escaped from the Whitley Road Detention Centre. It would later emerge that he had escaped by climbing out of an unsecured toilet window and received assistance from his brother and his family who helped disguise him as a woman.

Filter In
Touted as a “members-only” club, hip hop and R&B music joint Filter opened with a strict door policy, with memberships given only to a select group of clients and friends.

Race Matters
The Formula 1 SingTel Singapore Grand Prix returned for a third successful run. Fernando Alonso reigned supreme once again, this time without the help of a suspicious crash.

Nightlife Revs Up
Ku Dé Ta opened to much fanfare at the Sands SkyPark thanks to that unbeatable view and the allure of that pool. Infinity has never been so desirable.

Simply Divine
Mick Hucknall enthralled with his silky, soulful renditions of classics like “Stars” and ‘If You Don’t Know Me By Now” in an emotional farewell concert.

M-m-m-Mayer
German Michael Mayer zipped up the Velvet dancefloor with his unpredictable mix of minimal tech, house, disco and obscure psychedelic tunes. More, baby, more.

Avalon and Beyond
Upcoming superclub Avalon gave us a peek at what’s to come in 2011 over the F1 weekend with two nights of parties featuring The Chemical Brothers, Steve Aoki, Steve Angello and Flo Rida. It was THE party of the month.

October

Farewell Mrs. Lee
Singaporeans collectively mourned the death of Mdm. Kwa Geok Choo who passed away at the age of 89.

Hazy Daze
Just when it’d been gone long enough for us to forget about it (but not long enough that we’d actually appreciate it), the haze returned to Singapore.

The Korean Wave
Things started spiraling out of control after the sold out Korean Pop Night concert. Group concerts (MNET Ultimate Live), Korean dance shows (Sachoom) and countless mini showcases and fan meetings (with the various Lees, Parks and Kims) caused bottlenecks in the Sistic queues and a flurry in local entertainment media.

Fang You
Jangly pop tunes have never been more infectious than in the hands of preppie indie upstarts Vampire Weekend, who dropped by the Esplanade.

Gangster Blitz
19-year-old Republic Polytechnic student Darren Ng was brutally hacked to death by a group of youths at Downtown East, leading to a media frenzy over gang-related issues. In subsequent weeks there was barely a newspaper story that didn’t mention our wayward youths.

Face It
The socio-drama The Social Network was this year’s best film under the assured direction of David Fincher, starring Jesse Eisenberg as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.

November

Lip Lock
Quirky stage sets (including what looked like a giant vagina) and lots of confetti took centerstage at The Flaming Lips concert. Too bad the sound system was shit, but we had fun.

Dark Twisted fantasy
It’s been a bumper year for sexual perversion in Singapore. Upskirters, serial molesters, a father sleeping with his daughter, a teacher seducing a student, a student seducing a teacher, a principal “acting inappropriately” towards a teacher and a child porn downloader. One extraordinary degenerate convicted in November managed to sneak his semen into his colleague’s drink. Twice.

Blockbuster Art Shows 
We’re proud to have played host to some of the biggest, most revolutionary exhibitions (Trans Cool TOKYO and Pompeii: Life in a Roman Town 79CE, among many others) in the global arts scene this year. The Affordable Art Fair made its debut opening here with great success but the real scene stealer was the Singapore Toys, Games and Comics Convention, which attracted over 21,000 visitors.

The End of an Era
Prominent local jock Tony Tay left Zouk, leaving many disappointed breakbeat and prog house fans. Not to mention big shoes to fill for whoever takes over his spot. He now spins for Zirca.  

December

Sticks And Stones
Who said you grow out of name calling? Thanks to WikiLeaks we learnt that Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew referred to North Koreans “psychopathic types” and singled out their leader Kim Jong Il as a “flabby old chap.” MM Lee also described dealing with Myanmar’s military junta as akin to “talking to dead people.”

Perfect 10
The mother of all dance parties celebrated its 10th anniversary, attracting a record 30,000 revelers to Siloso Beach. This installment of ZoukOut proved to be one of the most exciting yet and sold out in a matter of hours.

Groovy, Baby 
Two more great gigs by techno maestros Luciano and Tiefschwarz signed off this year’s unprecedented nightlife offerings.

Top of the World
High street staple Topshop opened its biggest store yet at new mall Knightsbridge. Fashionistas went on a shopping spree just in time for Christmas—bearing mainly gifts for themselves.

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