Oh boy, it’s our birthday again. You probably expect us to celebrate in style, take you all to Badmotel and pay for everyone’s drinks? And in exchange, you’ll probably get us something funny from Daiso. A flashing LED hand-held fan that plays “Gagnam-style” perhaps? Yeah, thanks. We’ve got four of those already.

Ah, what the heck. This is probably our last birthday, anyway. We might as well celebrate in style. No, no, it’s not down to the general demise of print media (we got a tablet version now anyway). It’s the bubble. What, haven’t you heard? Everyone is selling their Bangkok apartment and moving to Khon Kaen. It’s all going down the tubes. 1997 is back with a vengeance.

All the signs are already here. First, Akanoya sells a piece of fried garlic for B625, sending the Thai baht into a speculative frenzy. Then Chef Joel Robuchon confirms his presence at Mahanakorn, creating an influx of undercover Michelin restaurant critics, which has propelled the price of imported French Alps mineral water above the B300 mark (service charge and applicable government taxes not included). Then it was revealed that the going rate for shrimp was plummeting due to diners’ preference for lobster tail in their molecular pad Thai.

Before you sell your Ferrari and stock up on Mama noodles, though, you’ll be relieved to hear the BMA has the situation under control. You probably noticed those ugly new faux wood plastic trash cans, cluttering up the sidewalks? They’re part of an effort to help the masses of soon-to-be unemployed Bangkokians find honest, clean food, by keeping the rats out of your next lunch.

Depressing? On the contrary, it’s time to party like it’s 1997! Cash in those bonds and check out our carefully chosen Top Tables 2013 (it’s the hefty guide that just fell out of this magazine and is now soaking up your spilled cappuccino). Drink up, tuck in, and even if it’s not your birthday, make every single bite count, while you still can.
 

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