Last week, Arisman Pongruangrong was sentenced to one year in jail, without hope of suspension, for saying that former PM Abhisit Vejjajiva ordered the killing of people. That same week, the DSI charged PM Abhisit Vejjajiva (and Suthep Thaugsuban) for authorizing the killing of people, Red Shirts protesters to be exact, during the 2010 protests in Bangkok.

Confused? Angry? Well, before you start ranting and raving about this touchy topic, we’d like to tell you something else that happened that same week: the US state of Washington legalized gay marriage and pot. And this, dear readers, is where the BK Reconciliation Plan comes in.

First, turn the deep South into one giant field of cannabis, thereby boosting our export revenue and putting a few drug lords out of business. Secondly, force our politicians to consume massive doses of said weed. Third, let them enjoy free love. Heck, they can even get married to one another for all we care. And given how few women there are in Thai politics, those same-sex unions are surely going to be the norm.

Once Chalerm and Arisman are a pot-smoking couple, they’ll be more inclined to have munchies-fuelled dinner parties with Abhisit and Suthep. Why, they may even do the car-key punch bowl thing! Suthep picks Arisman and off they go, reconciling all night, their hashish-fueled ecstasy ebbing and flowing like waves against the dark, wet, powerless beaches of Samui. Left alone in the living room, Chalerm and Abhisit embrace, their heads spinning as THC forces their brains to fire off messages of understanding, their sweaty coalition enduring deep into the night.

Now, you could wait for Thailand’s political landscape to slowly develop over 30 years, the judiciary to gradually grow in independence, the free press to eventually learn to do its job and politicians to progressively clean up their act. You could argue every constitutional amendment and fiercely debate the composition of the charter drafting committee. But who can wait that long: the world’s ending next Friday! So why not just support the BK Reconciliation Plan and skip straight to the twin pinnacles of human evolution: gay marriage and legalized pot.

More Page 3.