Issue Date: 
Jan 16 2014 - 11:00pm
city living

Bangkok – Today, Yingluck Shinawatra, Suthep Thaugsuban, Abhisit Vejjajiva and Sukhumbhand Paribatra shocked onlookers when they came out on the PDRC stage to announce their plans for a car-free day in Bangkok had been a resounding hit.

“For years, we’ve been trying to get you guys to leave your cars at home,” Suthep began explaining, to the disbelieving crowd of die-hard protesters.

“But nothing worked. We were ready to give up,” confirmed an emotional-looking Yingluck.

“Then Marco had a brain wave, ‘Why don’t we pretend to be on the brink of civil war and get people to shut down major intersections throughout the city?’” Sukhumbhand said.

“It was a long shot but we all felt it was worth a try,” Abhisit added. “And it worked!”

At first, protesters were shocked that their efforts to save the Kingdom from the Shinawatra clan were nothing but an elaborate ruse to get people to ditch their cars. But having been able to use public transportation and walk freely on the city’s roads, they saw the benefits when compared to being stuck in endless traffic jams.

Mr. Somchai, a rubber plantation owner, said he did not have hard feelings. “I feel a bit stupid coming all the way here to find out this is just some big plan to get Bangkokians to walk around and stop using their cars. But OK. We Thais like to joke. They got me.”

On stage, Yingluck got the most laughs when she admitted she was partly to blame. “The first car scheme was pretty retarded, it’s true. But hey, I’d never heard of public transportation before taking office. So this is my way of saying, ‘Oops, sorry Bangkok!’”

Some critics were not so convinced that the plan had been truly effective. Pancake, a social media specialist, said, “The BTS was not that much more crowded today, which shows people just stayed in bed if they owned a car. I’m not sure the results were really worth the effort.”

Meanwhile, the foreign media was finally forced to admit they really have no grasp of what goes on in Thailand. “We thought this was a battle between upper or middle-class Bangkokians and the Northeastern poor. In fact, it seems it was all a big hoax to get people to leave their cars at home,” wrote The Economist. 

“Western democracy still has a lot to learn from Thailand,” marveled Sven, a Swedish tourist enjoying a wide empty street while sampling free chicken. “This really is the Land of Smiles!”


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