Another year, another half-assed nursery rhyme masquerading as an NDP theme song (sample lyric: “I’m just a tiny thing, here I am, I can bravely sing”). Indeed, ‘One Singapore’ is about as exciting as the reusable goodie bags that will be handed out to spectators at the parade: is it a backpack? is it a sling? does anyone care?

Quite why the organisers expose themselves to such ridicule every year isn’t clear. In this age of remixes, mash-ups and indifference to fair royalty payments (see our story on music streaming services!), why not just borrow some more entertaining verses from elsewhere? Behold the perfect NDP 2013 song, courtesy of the Pharcyde, Ice Cube, Jimi Hendrix, The Cure and, erm, Shampoo.

Multiracial faces in all places
The sun shines brightest on smiling faces

To most pain is unappealing
But pain is what we’re feeling

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately this just don’t seem the same
Purple haze all in my eyes
Don’t know if it’s day or night

Fight fight fight
The times it hurts just to breathe
And all you want is to sleep

Needing healing,
so much pressure building
And when the whole place crowded,
I’m about it
(I like it wet and sweaty,
hot as the Serengeti)

Uh-oh, we’re in trouble
Something’s come along
and it’s burst our bubble